Since leaving the performance chamber, everything had stayed quiet, so he hadn’t tattled on me yet.
“Get out of my sight before I kill you,” I said and withdrew so that Hireh was no longer pinned.
This time, the slave listened to me. She ducked around me and scurried like a rat. The vessels in the gymnasium laughed and one shouted, “Stupid thralls!”
“Join us, slayer,” another vessel said, “in a friendly competition. We want to see what you can do.”
“Another time,” I replied. “I’m done here.”
The noises in the gymnasium seemed to amplify with each step I took—heavy breathing and slapping shoes and talking—commanding that I recoil, but I stood tall. For as long as eyes could see me, I wouldn’t show weakness. When I was alone in the changing room, that facade melted away.
I sat on a concrete bench and hunched over, holding my head between my legs. The vessels weren’t intimidated by my status as a slayer. What happened back there proved it. They were unsure of how I acted, unsure because I hadn’t properly threatened my slave until this moment. As a slayer, the other warriors cared about my body count on the battlefield above all else. They had these same social dynamics, but they excused my “weirdness” because my kill number was that impressive.
But they had also avoided me. I was respected, but I didn’t have… friends. While the other warriors, including other slayers, had recreational groups—friends—they enjoyed things with on their free time, the one vampire who cared to associate with me outside of missions was Fyefa. It was always Fyefa. Even as a scamp. When I beat down the worst bully in our age group, I didn’t make friends out of it—not that I had been trying to.
I’d had enough, as did the rest of that scamp’s victims, but confronting her was a possible death sentence because she was bigger and stronger than the rest of us, so no one resisted her abuse. We had learned young to size up our opponents, to know our limits. I knew mine, that I should have lost, but I confronted her anyway. For Fyefa, I claimed the bully’s status and became more alone than ever.
To this day, I didn’t know if I had killed our tormentor or not. I had forgotten her name, too. But I didn’t care, because I had Fyefa. Only Fyefa.
I’d do anything to keep her safe.
I needed to return to the life I understood. If I could fight and win, I could survive.
“Brute strength won’t get you everywhere, brawler.”
I hated Adano for saying that.
I hated him for being right.
I hated that I felt… guilty for making him come when he had told me no—when he couldn’t fight back. I never named emotions. I hated acknowledging them, but I couldn’t ignore the twisting in my gut, like a knife burrowing deeper and deeper.
“Something’s wrong with me,” I whispered under my breath. “Very wrong.”
CHAPTER 18
LISETTE
The ceiling was as cold and gray as the rest of the concrete in the reproduction center. There were no colors here beyond that grayscale. It was not so different from White House at a glance, but it was missing Tuel’s pale-pink rummadies. They had always seemed unnecessary, Tuel’s one “oddity.” We had all allowed her to do it, though.
We hadn’t intervened and we hadn’t assisted.
Remembering that was reassuring. Perhaps I was strange, but strangeness could be found in anyone if one looked long enough. I would have been fine, left to my own devices, if I hadn’t taken things too far with Tuel. It was as Fyefa had said. It was my fault everything was in tatters.
Give me a chance to fix it, Fyefa, I silently pleaded.
My limbs were lead weights. I was sinking into the firm mattress I lay on, inch by inch, as if I were getting heavier by being motionless.
Was it so bad to be a vessel? This was where my queen wanted me, and maybe I should respect that. It wasn’t so bad. It was incredibly boring, but I’d get used to it quicker than I thought based on how I acted yesterday. I could drink fresh blood every day and fuck thralls and a vampyre. Our vampyres weren’t fucked by many. This was a privilege of a different sort. I knew warriors who would envy my position here.
Did I want to return to White Team badly enough to risk treachery? I hadn’t committed to it yet. Not fully. I could find a way to erase the incriminating audio and then fall in line, pretend like it never happened. No one would know. No one would believe “rambunctious” Adano if he spoke out without evidence, especially if I commanded his body and took what they wanted.
“No,” he had said.
The memory of his voice cracking made me shiver. It made my stomach churn with the thought of hearing it again.
I dreaded seeing him tomorrow.
This isn’t me. I’m not meant to be a vessel.
The days were too long here. There was too much time to think.
The door to my room opened with a quiet click. Always those damn clicks.
“Hireh,” I said, “get out.”
“I’m not Hireh.”
I knew that voice well. Unwavering, clear but husky. I sat up, my back rigidly straight, and blinked, expecting the blond vampire to disappear. She didn’t.
“Fyefa,” I said.
She wore her gray slayer leathers, combat belt, and white cloak. Her short sword sat at her hip. The sight made me ache. Oh, how I longed to feel the hilt of my aassu in my hands.
Fyefa pinched her nose. “You smell ripe. Don’t they shower you?”
“I’ve showered twice today.” Discreetly, I sniffed my left armpit. Fyefa was right. I did smell ripe and had been too distracted to notice. I hadn’t changed out of my workout clothes, either. It was likely against the rules, but there was no Hireh here to nag me and no one else saw me on my way back to my assigned room, discounting the wall-mounted cameras in the halls.
“You’ll want to get that checked. You might be growing a fungus.” The left corner of Fyefa’s mouth lifted into a crooked smile.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed so she could sit beside me, which she did after setting aside her sword. She sat close enough our arms brushed against each other.
“You’re making jokes?” I asked. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s been quiet. No sign of Schengs, and it’ll take at least two more days for Gala to return from Crimson Caves, likely longer. Queen Maud wants Crimson Caves with us before initiating anything, so we wait. An alliance with them is important if we’re to take back Jade Spring without too many casualties, as you know. But it has me restless. The Schengs could take this quiet to find their own allies. Whoever comes out on top will need them eventually. The Schengs, stupid as they are, must realize that. The Prime War is too big, and we’re too small alone.
“I’ve heard of more and more alliances springing up for that same reason. Perhaps pride is being set aside in favor of ending the Prime War. Crimson Caves is the largest vampire kingdom, and they have the most alliances among our kind. No, not simple alliances. Their “allies” have all pledged to Queen Vesne la Demunet of Crimson Caves. Queen Vesne aims to claim the title High Queen of Prime, therefore crowning Crimson Caves the High Kingdom of Prime. Howling Sky, backed by the power of a comparable number of werewolf kingdoms pledged to it, is the only real contender, but I’ve been assured the werewolves will fall. Crimson Caves will help us defeat the Schengs, and we will help Crimson Caves defeat Howling Sky.
“The vampires with Crimson Caves will be the ones to survive the Prime War. This, waiting for them to solidify our alliance, is essential. If we aren’t with them, we’ll be against them, and they will destroy us. Just because we’re the same species doesn’t make us exempt from that truth. It’d be nothing like fighting the Schengs. The balance of the world you and I were born into has always been precarious, but now it’s more volatile than ever.” Fyefa paused. “When you were sent away, Queen Maud told me Gala would be my new first.”
“Gala?” I said.
“Indeed.”
“It’s been a couple
of days, but I feel as if I’ve missed so much.”
“That’s about all you’ve missed. As I said, it’s been quiet—aside from the politics, which have little to do with us until we’re told to act.”
I conceded it, but I asked the same question I had not long before: “What are you doing here?”
“I thought you’d like to know what’s going on—or the lack of what’s going on. No one had any intention of telling you, but they didn’t care if I visited you.” Fyefa leaned forward, elbows resting on her thighs. “And I missed you.”
Those three words, “I missed you,” were too much to sift through. I wasn’t sure how to respond and settled on silence.
“You know I wasn’t going to kill you, right?” she said. “I had to remind the others why I’m White Leader.”
I thought I knew that, but a part of me doubted it. I doubted Fyefa enough that I wouldn’t bring up my plans to escape the duties of a vessel. I was never one to tell Fyefa much of anything. I did things, and Fyefa dealt with the aftermath. This time she wouldn’t. She couldn’t.
“You have to bear one scamp,” Fyefa continued, “no more than that, right?”
“Right.” Wrong.
“Good. Do it and get back to me as soon as possible. Don’t slack off on your training.” She pinched my side—attempted to. I caught her hand and bent back her wrist. She flinched and her voice wavered. “Your reflexes haven’t dulled.”
I released her. “I won’t go soft on you. And I’ll come back. Yessma knows we’re all doomed if Gala takes my place.”
Fyefa bit back a grin and said, “Tell me about your vampyre.”
“I don’t know anything about him.”
“You’ve met him, haven’t you?”
“Yes.”
“What does he look like?”
“Like a male thrall.”
Fyefa scowled at me. “You’re serious?”
“He’s nothing special. He’s as tall as you, pale, and rather unimpressive physically. He’d make a lousy warrior.”
Fyefa laughed. It had been many days since I’d last heard her laugh. She didn’t laugh boisterously. It was soft puffs of soundless shudders and the occasional gasping intake of air. It and these smiles weren’t something she gave freely. I had to work for them. I wasn’t good at it, but when she did smile or laugh, I relished the way my chest warmed.
Today was a treat.
She did miss me.
“He doesn’t arouse you?” Fyefa asked. “If not even a vampyre can succeed there, no one can.”
Even Fyefa, diligent White Leader, had a thrall. She didn’t indulge excessively, but she knew how to fit in. I also knew how to fit in, but I had never cared to nor had I seen the importance of it until recently.
“He makes me burn,” I quietly admitted.
“And yet you spoke so poorly of him. It’s okay to admit it. It would make the others happy to hear you aren’t unshakable.”
“They already know. I’m here, aren’t I?”
Fyefa’s starlight-yellow eyes flashed. “You scare others, Lisette.”
“Why?”
“Because you hold your convictions closer than anyone else. You’d think that would make you predictable, but It doesn’t, because none of us know what your convictions are. You fight for Silver Hollow, but it’s not what drives you.”
“Then what drives me?”
“I don’t know.” She blinked, waiting, expecting me to answer, but I didn’t have an answer. “When you come back, stay under the radar. I don’t know what will happen to you next time you do something… unexpected.”
“I’ve become quite contrite. That won’t be a problem.”
Fyefa scoffed, “I’m sure.”
“Do you burn when you’re with your thrall?”
“Yes. That’s the point of taking one, to feel that pleasurable heat. It’s all pleasure with a thrall, none of the bleeding or scamps involved.”
I wondered if I’d need to bleed to keep Ednis from becoming suspicious. If she took my robes to better see Adano and I couple, I wasn’t sure how I’d deceive them. She wouldn’t be pleased when she heard I hadn’t started bleeding, though she wouldn’t be too worried yet since she had said it didn’t always happen the first time. If I were infertile, there was a possibility I wouldn’t bleed at all. But if I did bleed and manage to resist Adano, something Ednis was certain I wouldn’t be able to do, I’d be safe—as long as that wild vampyre stayed quiet.
“He’s trouble, you know,” I commented. “Adano.”
Fyefa cocked an eyebrow. “Your vampyre, right?”
“They tried several vampires before me, and Adano wouldn’t perform for any of them.”
“Really?”
“Yes. They couldn’t get him hard. I can, but it isn’t easy.”
“That isn’t normal for vampyres, is it?”
“No. It’s not normal.”
Fyefa canted her head. “Being a vessel isn’t as easy as I thought.”
“My thoughts exactly. Ednis the Wise tells me Adano is exceptionally uncooperative, but it has as much, or more, to do with his biology as his attitude.”
There was no point in telling Fyefa any of this. I knew I should stop, but I wanted to keep the conversation going so she’d stay. That foolish hope died when the portacomm attached to Fyefa’s belt beeped. She unclipped the rectangular transceiver, released the antenna, and said, “Go ahead.”
“We’re heading out.” It was Scarlet.
“Good. I’ll meet you at the coliseum.” Replacing her portacomm, Fyefa stood and grabbed her short sword. “Goodbye, Lisette.”
I hated to watch her leave. The swoosh of her white cape made me miss my own, but my spiraling thoughts had calmed some. I’d get out of here and rejoin Fyefa. I might not reclaim my rank as White First, but that was a small sacrifice to pay, because Fyefa had come here for me.
I knew my lies would be worth it.
CHAPTER 19
ADANO
The fluffy white rug made lying front-first on the concrete tolerable. I could have sat on my bed, but the firm-yet-springy mattress had gotten on my nerves, and there were too many pillows. I’d thrown them all on the floor, offering the emptiness of my quarters some personality, but that hadn’t sufficed either.
As I lay flat on my chest, I stared at the abstract slivers of silver spread across the bare concrete in front of me. They’d form a sphere the size of my head once constructed. I saw it all without lifting a piece, where the slivers connected, what they would become.
It was painful to pace myself, but it was more painful to have nothing to do. Then again, I’d already solved the puzzle. The pieces would fit the way I visualized. The thinking part was over within seconds.
Finally, I picked up a silver sliver. I rubbed my fingers against the cold, the grooves, the intricate curve of its shape. The Sadist Queen had left this for me yesterday, an unusual exchange to be sure. She told me this was the hardest puzzle Silver Hollow had. I hadn’t looked at it until now. I was unimpressed and unnerved.
The Sadist Queen hadn’t touched me yesterday.
She was angry.
After what had happened today, she’d be livid.
I set down the silver sliver and shoved it and the other pieces into a lazy pile. Closing my eyes, I rolled onto my back. Light pierced my eyelids, casting a bluish tint. The buzzing fluorescent tube lights assaulted my ears, but I didn’t mind; they reminded me of fuzzy red jackets.
Opening my eyes, I squinted at the milky plastic rectangle pressed into the ceiling. The lights would have been much brighter without that barrier. I wanted to dismantle it, but it was too high to reach. I’d tried. I simply didn’t have enough things to stack in my quarters. And I was always being watched. The camera in the corner nearest to where I lay stared at me with its bulbous black eye.
It was the bare minimum these days—aside from my fluffy luxuries and occasional “gifts” like this puzzle. Ednis the Wise said I wasn’t suicidal. I wasn
’t. But I was plenty of other things.
I slipped a silver sliver under the waistband of my trousers. The sliver was hooked so it was easy to hang there. I couldn’t think of any uses for it, given my very limited resources, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t think of something in the future—if the Sadist Queen didn’t confiscate it first.
The door leading into my quarters didn’t have a handle on this side, the mechanism that kept it locked couldn’t be breached from here, and there was no comms panel.
Who was I kidding? If I only managed to stab one of those damn females with this missing puzzle piece, that would be enough. I wanted to stab a certain slayer. A monster.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Red jackets.
Bees were so small and insignificant at a glance—to most. I saw them for the first time when I was eight years old, and I disagreed. Ivy, age thirteen, told me how important they were in the cycle of everything. She’d also said it was rare to see them in Silver Hollow. Little browns, a species of butterfly, would flit through Silver Hollow on their way to Shade Forest, but red jackets were hardy, and they stayed where they nested. Silver Hollow wasn’t known for flowering plants, but red jackets managed and made their spicy honey anyway—it helped that they were carrion insects.
I had been fascinated by how the little insects flew, watching and deconstructing how it worked. Then I’d glimpsed a bird flying even higher. They were built so differently. The bees could hover midair, but the bird couldn’t.
“Flight is something very under-explored in our tech-filled world,” Ivy told me.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because of the humans.”
“Humans have flying tech?” I held up my glove-covered hands to the sky to frame and track the bird with my fingers while being careful to keep my sleeves from riding up. I wore sunlight-resistant gear, but I had been mildly burned once before, and I wasn’t eager to repeat the experience.
“Yeah,” Ivy said. “There was a kingdom of them that even had flying vehicles, like gliders made for the sky, but then they became targets of the majority, vampires and werewolves and even some humans combined. When there’s a big enough threat, enemies become allies. That specific group of humans is extinct because of that. Their location and kingdom name were erased too. They’ve gone down in history as simply ‘heretics.’”
Vampire Captives (From Blood to Ashes Book 1) Page 9
