Kaz shook his head. His father always had to find a way to hit below the belt. The problem was this time he couldn’t run to Jaden’s room and get high after this conversation because that would solve nothing. Besides, he was worried about Syd and he couldn’t wait to see her.
“I have never blamed you for the way you have felt about me. I know my mother was never the love of your life but what she did to you didn’t exactly endear her to you either. It is…a difficult situation for everyone involved, Dad.”
His father laughed on the other end. “Why should I give a fuck about what your mother did? Her job was to provide me with an heir and she did that when she gave birth to Randall. You were nothing but an unfortunate afterthought—I knew she fucked around and the chances of you being mine would be slim to none, and this was before she pulled the stunt she did.
“Your mother was nothing but a whore who fucked any and everyone who looked in her direction. It was a good thing she killed herself because I would have pulled an ‘O.J. Simpson’ if she hadn’t. No man wants to know he is married to a slut who has been passed around like a goddamn birthday cake every one of his acquaintances and friends have had a piece of. Not only was it an embarrassing situation but it was humiliating for me as a man.”
Kaz hated the tears that filled his eyes.
His mother wasn’t a whore. She had her share of affairs on his father but it wasn’t like the man was a saint either. He had so much to tell Syd and perhaps she wouldn’t want him afterwards but she deserved to know the truth and hear it from him.
“Why did you call, Dad?”
“Well, I am close to the Landvik family and if you are using old man Landvik’s only granddaughter then end the relationship now. He will kill you with his bare hands if you use one of the only women he cares about in his life. He loves her like a second daughter and he doesn’t like how they are portraying his granddaughter as some kind of fan-girl, groupie whore.” His father paused before he questioned, “Is it true she was a virgin when you got a hold of her?”
“Yes, she was a virgin, technically. She had some sexual experience but I busted her cherry if that is what you want to know. What does this have to do with anything?”
“Well, Landvik and I have a deal pending and it is hinged on the fact that you plan to stay with his granddaughter. Is that hot little cunt enough for you? It better be because if it isn’t then you have to break it off and allow her to live her own life. I’ll miss a huge business opportunity but at least I will save a business acquaintance. If you break her heart later on then I will lose Landvik and all his contacts. That is unacceptable.”
“Syd and I are a genuine couple, Dad, and I love her very much. The chances of us getting married are slim to none but I have no intention of leaving her any time soon if that is what you are worried about. She feels the same way about me and I don’t want anyone but her so you can assure Mr. Landvik I am not using his granddaughter,” Kaz explained in a calm voice.
“That’s all I needed to know. Enjoy the rest of your rock tour and the next time you are in town and don’t visit your step-mother and I, I will murder you myself. I wanted to meet this Sydney because everyone claims she is a dead-ringer for your mother. She was a beautiful woman…I’ll give her that. How she fell for him is beyond me.”
“I have to go. I’ll talk to you soon.” Kaz pressed end and breathed deeply.
They’d pulled up to the hotel and the driver came around to open the door for him. He slipped him several twenty euro notes before he strolled into the hotel and walked directly to his suite which included an elevator ride.
They’d pulled a fast one on their fans in Marseille and claimed they were staying at the Sofitel Marseille Vieux Port. It had been the original hotel chosen but Introspect Records had upgraded them at the last moment. Fans were packed outside the Sofitel hoping to catch a glimpse of the band while they were at a hotel no one knew about which worked out best for everyone involved.
Kaz slipped the card key into the door and walked inside. Syd was exactly where he expected to find her. She lay curled up on the bed with her iPad in her lap. Obviously she was watching one of their favorite shows as she sipped on a glass filled with a good amount of Macallan 30.
He took off his shitkickers and walked over to her before he kissed her lips and pressed his forehead against hers.
“How are you doing, baby?” he greeted with just a hint of worry in his voice.
“I feel empty and useless but other than that, I’m okay.” He pulled away in time to see a weak smile on her lips. “Faith came by and she gave me an Oxy to dull the pain. It’s working and I have never felt better. I only wish we could fuck but I have to stop bleeding and heal first, right?”
His heart dropped because he didn’t want her getting involved into the drug scene and popping OxyContin was just the gateway to coke. The thought of Syd doing coke turned his insides out.
“Promise me you won’t do it again. I am here for you and I know you’re bored to death out of your mind but the doctor says that you’ll be back on your feet in a couple days. Give your body proper time to heal and you’ll be as good as new.”
Syd’s eyes were red-rimmed and looked completely gray as all blue had fled to the peripheral of her irises. “Do you really think so?”
Kaz decided to change strategies as he stood, walked over to the fully stocked bar, and poured himself a stiff Macallan 30. He would need it to tell her what he wanted her to know and he couldn’t do it sober.
“Listen, I know this is probably one of the worst incidents you have gone through in your whole entire life. You were pregnant for such a short time and you were worried it would wreck our relationship. Ironically, the baby wasn’t meant to be born and you had a miscarriage anyway where the doctor in Paris was forced to perform a D&C to get rid of the scar tissue.
“I get it. You think you are a failure because you can’t have a baby but it’s…a family flaw. Damira had two miscarriages before she successfully carried Xander. Keren had a miscarriage too before she started with the Depo-Provera shots while we were in a relationship. It happens with my siblings too…Faith had one abortion…the first baby, she lost and they had to do a D&C like they did to you,” he said in a flat voice.
Sydney set her iPad down and stared at him intently. “What does Faith have to do with you? Is she your sister or something?”
He smiled wryly. “God no. I wouldn’t have had a sexual relationship with my sister, half-sibling or not.” Kaz downed his scotch and sat down next to Sydney on the bed before he turned toward her. “My mother never wanted to marry my dad and I will save you the whole class issue and just say that she was very wild.
“I feel at home here because my mother’s family was from the Burgundy region. She was second generation American but they were a pretty closed community. My maternal grandfather was a quarter Scots-Irish hence the reason how she ended up with a Celtic last name but the rest of her ancestry was French.
“Anyway, she was a natural when it came to rebellion and she ran away from my father’s home when she was only twenty-three. She was gone for eight months and my father played it off. He told everyone she was spending time here in France to research her family history when my mother was doing no such thing. She was with the MC, Lucifer’s Saints.
“Before you inquire about her status there at the club, no, she wasn’t a ‘sweet butt’. However, she wasn’t an old lady either but she was protected. She stayed there because she fell in love with Desmond ‘Dizzy’ Cox. He kept promising her he would leave his wife and marry her but she knew it was all bullshit. She was his mistress for all that time and she was pregnant during that time…but lost the baby.”
“Oh my God.” Syd drained her Macallan 30. “That’s why you are so protective over Jaden.”
“Yes…I suppose you can say that is one of the reasons why we’re so close.” Kaz blinked back tears. “She missed her son, Randall, and the luxury she’d grown accustomed to. She left on a
cold winter morning, four months pregnant with me. My Dad took her back because he had no choice but they both knew I wasn’t his, not when I am a dead-ringer for my real old man.
“If you want to know why Randall and I are treated so differently by our father then I’ve just given you the explanation in black and white. I am the son of poor Irish trash and my father won’t ever let me forget that. I’m not a child born from his seed and therefore his love for me is limited at best and he hates me more than anything.”
Syd didn’t know whether he wanted to be touched but she reached out to him reluctantly and wrapped her arms around his neck. “So that is why you and your father don’t get along? Do you think it might be the reason why Randall thought he could get away with what he did to you?”
She felt so small and vulnerable in his arms and he embraced her back. How could he ever deny her comfort despite what he was feeling at the moment? It wasn’t like any of the information he was telling her was new to anyone but her.
Everyone already knew—his bandmates, Faith, Damira, Keren, and Misty—about his past and Jaden used the fact they were half-siblings to his advantage. He instinctively realized Kaz would protect him at all costs because he felt responsible for him. It allowed the reckless guitarist to get away with shit he came down hard on if it was Seth that had fucked up.
It was the reason why Desmond expected the money each year and why he knew Kaz would pay up the ten million dollars. He knew his son was loaded and he deserved a piece even if the only contribution he’d made in his son’s life was knocking up his mother.
He talked a lot of shit to Syd about how Jaden would have to pay him back but the band was more of his family than his real one. Jaden was much more of a brother to him than Randall would ever be; he couldn’t stay mad at the guy regardless what he did because he loved him and he was his sibling who had accepted him as soon as Kaz had told him. Misty was his sister and he loved her just as much and worried about her but also knew she was tough as nails. It couldn’t have been easy trailing her two brothers around the world just to get away from the MC for a while.
Syd pulled away from him. “Earth to Kaz? Babe, have you heard anything I’ve said to you?”
“Fuck…no, I haven’t listened to a damn word you’ve said to me. I’ve just been reminiscing and thinking about…my life.”
“Okay, well in that case, I will repeat myself. I don’t care who your father is but I realize this changes everything. It certainly explains why you baby Jaden and the reason why you treat him the way you do. I hope you telling me all of this strengthens our relationship because I doubt you tell every woman who shares your bed all of your secrets.”
Kaz truly saw her for the first time and he realized how beautiful she was as a human being and the breadth of her spirit. It amazed him how she could see through all his bullshit and look straight into the center of his heart. He kissed her lips impulsively and she opened her mouth to his inviting caress. Their tongues touched and he immediately felt himself get hard as she climbed on his lap.
It was pity nothing could be done about it because she wouldn’t be able to have sex for a while. He suddenly needed to touch her and be inside her just to express how much he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. It was the wild blood in his body that coursed through his veins and needed to be free and without constraint.
Syd’s lips left a trail down his chin and his neck as her hot tongue licked his Adam’s apple. “Lay back. I want to do this,” she whispered into his left ear.
“But I can’t give you any pleasure,” he responded as their eyes met.
“I know you’ll make it up to me.” She smiled as he laid down on the bed and her fingers began to work on his jeans as she undid the button-fly and freed his hard cock.
Syd smiled at him with that sensual look of lust that existed just beneath her excited steel blue eyes.
Her tongue traced the length of his dick and he thought he would pass out from the sensation alone. It was so sexy the way her mouth covered the mushroom head of his cock and began to devour him with strong, warm, wet strokes of her perfect mouth. He closed his eyes yet he still saw her and that was the best feeling of all.
Kaz still couldn’t figure out her technique of how she could slowly take his whole length inside her mouth and down her throat. He sometimes worried he might hurt her and therefore allowed her to control everything when it came to blow jobs. There was no way he could fuck her mouth and risk hurting her, not when she was already in such a precarious position yet it hadn’t stopped her from wanting to please him.
The pleasure began to overwhelm him and before he knew it, it took a few slow, deep thrusts inside of her throat before her hot tongue trailed the length of the vein on the underside of his dick and he said out loud, “Fuck, baby, I’m gonna come.”
Syd slid the head of his cock inside her mouth as he felt the orgasm travel up from his balls and spurt inside her hot mouth. She continued with the pressure while one hand caressed his balls and the other teased his perineum with carefully selected fingers. His own hands caressed her hair and scalp as his never-ending orgasm continued to grow with intensity before it all stopped and left him weak in the knees.
Kaz’s heart thundered in his chest as Syd crawled up his body and kissed him, her tongue swirled with his and he could taste himself in her beautiful mouth. He grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her closer as their kiss grew with such ferocious intensity, he almost felt out of control.
She ended it and stared deeply into his eyes, her own determined and hard. “You just remember who owns this,” she said as she slipped his flaccid manhood into his jeans and buttoned him back up. “I find out this has been inside another woman’s orifice and I will turn rich bitch on you and bite it off with my own teeth. You feel me, babe?”
Her words were said with such sweetness and light but he didn’t have a doubt about whether she was serious because he knew she didn’t make idle threats. “You know I would never do that to you.”
Syd smiled before she kissed his cheek. “You say that now but what about when we hit a rough patch, and believe me, we will. You are not going off to cry to Talia, are you?”
“Of course not.”
“Good boy.” She positioned herself on his body, her own light and warm. “I love you so much and I can’t wait until you can make love to me, fuck me and do what ever else you want to do to me.”
Kaz smiled as he held her close as possible. “Neither can I, baby.”
They drifted off to sleep and it was the best rest he’d experienced in recent memory.
Chapter Seven
The Stade Vélodrome Concert
I WATCHED TALIA practice on stage as she sang “All That I’m Living For” by Evanescence while Kris played the acoustic guitar. It was a merely a voice exercise because she never sang other modern female rocker tunes when she performed during select slots Seth allowed her to sing. Usually she was allowed two songs and she preferred the greats—Janis Joplin, Tina Turner during her hard rockin’ years, Stevie Nicks, Sheryl Crow. She’d even sang a few pop hits from time to time and the crowd loved her regardless because she turned them into hard rock anthems that sounded better than the originals.
My favorite was a rendition of Britney Spears’ “…Baby One More Time” and Chyna Bleu’s “Make Me Feel Like A Woman”. She’d brought down the house in Manchester when she sang them and had the audience screaming encore.
I couldn’t do much but watch now that I couldn’t photograph in my precarious condition. Kaz hadn’t wanted me to leave the hotel room but I was going crazy staring at those four walls. Hell, even the first season of Sons of Anarchy didn’t keep me satisfied. I’d finished it and moved on to the first season of True Blood but the episode where Bill and Sookie consummated their relationship did me under and I promptly shut my iPad off and almost threw it across the room.
I missed sex so much and no matter how bad the cramps got, I knew each day I was getti
ng stronger and soon I’d be able to make love to Kaz but it couldn’t come fast enough. Just looking at that man could make me wet and I had these wild fantasies of attacking him and begging him to fuck me in public places. My brain was in hard core overdrive of thinking about sex twenty-four-seven.
“Hey, sweetie, you doing okay?”
I looked up and faced Faith and Laurel. They both held shopping bags and looked like they were having the time of their lives. They were also dressed to the nines while I had lost almost all interest in designer wear. I had on a pair of boyfriend jeans and tight black cashmere sweater just to emphasize my womanly curves. Other than that, I didn’t wear many dresses and ballet flats or shitkickers had become my favorite kind of shoes. Right now, I had a black pair of shitkickers on my feet. They kept me warm and I didn’t have to worry about tripping on the cobble-stone streets.
“I’m fine.” I smiled at the both of them half-heartedly. “Looks like you two have been living it up here.”
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