Cuthbert folded his hands behind his back and paced the length of Bretton’s quarters. “Son, I’ve been thinking about your difficulties with the human lately, and I think I’ve found a solution.”
Bretton’s eyebrows arched. There must be some mistake. His father suddenly wished to help him with Sera? “Oh?”
“You need a mate.”
“Do I?”
“Yes, a nice mermaid to take your mind off of one so unsuitable as Doctor Gibbons.”
A bark of laughter wrenched from Bretton’s chest. Of course. Not help keeping Sera, help getting rid of her. He doubted it was possible. She’d found her way into his heart, and he’d never be free of her. He didn’t want to be. He pressed his fingers to his eyes, and his hair slid forward to cover his face. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to tie it back this morning. Sera liked it loose.
What was he going to do without her? The estrangement of the past seven days—knowing it would be the last she ever spent on his world—had ripped at his soul. What if he never saw her again, held her again, fucked her again?
For perhaps the first time he saw what his life would be without her. He’d become his father. Bitter, entrenched in his beliefs, sacrificing for his career the one woman who’d ever mattered. What hollow alternative was that? Why had he never recognized this before?
He’d been so focused on preserving the life he had, never straying from the path before him, that he’d missed how fundamental a change she’d wrought inside him. What life would he have now with no Sera to brighten it? One that would be empty of joy, one that would eventually wear away to nothing more than a bleak existence. No Sera meant no more wild passion, no more days of anticipating the night with her soft body wrapped around his. She challenged him, infuriated him, made him think, made him laugh. He needed her. He loved her.
Neptune save him, he loved her so much it strangled the breath from him. And he was letting her walk away from him forever. He knew if she boarded that ship, it was over. Done. Whether he saw her again or not, she would never be his.
No. A thousand times no. He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t lose her. He knew what he risked by going to her now. He’d lose everything else. His position of influence, his career in politics. Unlike his father, he couldn’t imagine it making him bitter and cold. Cold was life without Sera—everything else was a pale substitute for the real moments of sheer perfection he found in her embrace.
“Father, I want you to know that I’m mating with Sera.” Bretton shoved himself to his feet. No more waiting, no more hesitating. He’d already hurt her so much with his inability to let go of his dogged need to follow in his father’s footsteps. Could she forgive him? His heart clutched tight. Whatever it took, he would keep her.
Cuthbert’s face mottled to a dark, ugly red. “That is a mistake.”
“Then it’s my mistake to make.” Bretton shrugged, grabbed a satchel, stuffed a few changes of clothes in it along with a sheaf of Vesperi monetary units, and raced for the door.
His father blocked his path. “Bretton—”
Bretton fisted his fingers in Cuthbert’s tunic and hauled him up until they stood nose to nose. “I love her, Father. That’s the end of the discussion. I understand if you don’t approve.”
He set his father aside, slipped out the door, and ran for the dock.
“Bretton!”
Chapter 6
“Sera, wait!”
Sera turned to watch Bretton race around the last bend in the corridor that led to the docking bay. His hair danced in wild disarray around his shoulders, hanging loose to his waist. Her eyebrows arched. He never wore his hair down, he never ran, he never shouted.
Alarm streaked through her. Had someone died? What could possibly have happened? She’d never seen him look so out of control in public. After handing Oeric a small crate full of her equipment, she stepped away from the group loading the last shipment onto the cargo skimmer.
“It’s about damn time,” Nadir growled, taking the crate from Oeric.
“What are you talking about?” Sera’s gaze darted from Bretton to the rest of the group. Jain, Mahlia, Katryn, and even Elia looked unsurprised by Bretton’s arrival. Sera wished she could share their nonchalance. She willed numbness into her body. She didn’t want to deal with this, didn’t want to see him again. The last week had been miserable, but she’d survived. She’d keep on surviving. Without him. Agony tore through her soul, and she gritted her teeth to keep from crying out.
Why, why did he have to come now? She closed her eyes tight. Couldn’t he just let her leave in peace? Wasn’t he the one who liked things perfect and cordial in public? They couldn’t get much more public than a loading dock full of merpeople and an off-world trading party.
When she opened her eyes, Bretton stood before her panting. God, he was so beautiful. She would miss him so much.
Tarkesh snorted, drawing Sera’s gaze as he flicked invisible dust from his sleeve. “We were running out of ways to stall, Hahn.”
“My servants were considering mutiny, I’m certain. I would have held you accountable, of course.” A small, satisfied smile played over Varad’s face.
Kesuk just rolled his eyes and grunted, “Mermen.” Then he easily slung the carton he’d been struggling with into the skimmer’s loading bay. Or perhaps he’d been pretending to struggle.
“Sera.”
Her gaze swung back to Bretton. Her genius intellect was having difficulty processing what was going on. Everyone seemed to know something she couldn’t quite grasp. “Why are you here?”
He looked dumbfounded for a moment before he dropped the pack he was carrying to the floor. “Can’t you guess?”
“No. I’m tired of playing games, Bretton. Just say what you have to say so I can go.”
“Fire fin.” His fingers lifted to stroke her cheek, and she flinched away. God, he couldn’t touch her. She would lose control, and all the pain and grief and heartache he’d caused her would come pouring out. In public. Where it would embarrass him. His hand wilted back to his side. “I made a mistake, fire fin. Many, many mistakes. I was a fool, and I hurt you, and I don’t want to lose you, and I’m so very sorry.”
A harsh laugh bubbled up, and tears welled in her eyes. “Exactly which part of the last year has been your biggest mistake, Bretton? It’s always a mistake. You fuck me when you’re scared, you fuck me when you’re angry. You fuck me when you’re imperfect.”
He winced. “That’s unnecessarily crude, Sera.”
“But true.” She sniffed, wiped the tears from her cheeks, and set her chin. “I’m not going to be your excuse. Like I said, I can’t play these games anymore. You want me, you don’t want me. I’m good enough for sex, but God forbid I even speak to you in public if it’s not directly related to your job.”
“I love you.” The words tumbled from his mouth, and instead of the intense joy she’d always anticipated in hearing those words from a man she was in love with, she felt only anger. Bitter rage that he would wait until she’d given up to change his mind. It was just more of the same. He liked her one minute and brushed her off the next.
She couldn’t do it anymore. Her heart wasn’t strong enough. “I can’t be who you want. We both know that. I’m rude and opinionated and imperfect.”
“And I love you for it.”
“Stop.” She held up a hand. “Just…stop.”
“I can’t. You know better than anyone how much I tried to stop, how much I didn’t want to love you, need you, crave you. But I do. I love you.”
A tear streaked down her cheek. “And that’s a mistake, too, I’m sure.”
His palms came up to cup her cheeks, his thumb stroking away her tear. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that. Loving you is the wisest thing I’ve ever done. Denying it was the mistake.”
“I don’t know how to believe you. You’ve always been so sure we were wrong for each other.” Her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, holding him close when she shoul
d pull away. Another tear leaked from the corner of her eye. “And now that I’m literally moments away from getting on a ship to leave, you have an inexplicable change of heart.”
“Not inexplicable. And not a change of heart. The thought of losing you forever was what it took to make me admit what I’ve felt all along. It’s why I could never stop myself from touching you, kissing you.” His lips brushed hers, and she shuddered in reaction. The heat of his mouth burned her flesh, lit a slow fire that spread to her belly, dampened her sex. His fingers wrapped around her wrists, holding her to him. Despair cinched around her heart. Would she ever not respond to him? She hoped the bone-deep addiction eased once they were apart.
Turning her face aside, she broke the kiss. “I’m leaving, Bretton. This changes nothing. Please let me go.”
She tugged at her hands, but he wouldn’t release them. “I’m coming with you.”
“No. You should stay here. This is where you belong. And I never will.” Shaking her head, she tried to pull away again. It was hopeless, useless. Whether he loved her or not didn’t fix anything. She ignored the dart of pure, sheer joy that he might love her as desperately as she loved him.
His jaw clenched. “I belong with you, so I’m coming with you. You can’t stop me any more than I could stop you.”
“Why? We both know you want to be chancellor someday. Mating with me would kill that for you. You’ll end up bitter and stifled like your father. All because you loved me. I can’t be responsible for that, Bretton.”
“I’m a grown man, fire fin. You aren’t responsible for my decisions. Or their consequences.”
“But I have to live with them. The last year I’ve lived with your decisions and their consequences, and if we mate—if we did something about your feelings—I’d still live with those consequences to some extent.”
“If we mated, yes. You would. That is the way of matings, I believe. Two lives, two people, a joint existence.” His turquoise gaze focused intently on her face. “I’m sorry the consequences of my decisions have hurt you. It was thoughtless, careless. I won’t let it happen again.”
“Promise?” The question fell from her mouth before she could stop it, but she didn’t want to take it back. God, she wanted to believe him. She wanted him. Had always wanted him.
“Yes.” His fingers stroked over her wrists, and tingles of awareness slithered over her flesh. She was pressed against the length of him, and only her hands on his chest separated their bodies. “I don’t care where we live, Sera, as long as we live together. Mate with me. Today. Now.”
“Are you sure? Really sure?” It would kill her if he changed his mind after they were mated. There would be an open wound where her heart had been that would never heal. She knew herself well enough to know she’d never get over that. Never. “You know there’s no un-mating for Aquatilians. There’s just estrangement like your parents had.”
He pulled back a little so only their interlinked fingers connected them, dragged in a deep breath, and spoke in a voice that was just for her but would carry to the rest of the people in the docking bay. “I take you, Sera Gibbons, as my mate that we may walk together as partners on the journey toward perfection.”
Her ears buzzed for a moment, and she swayed on her feet. His fingers tightened their grip, holding her steady. She had to concentrate to remember to breathe. “I guess you’re sure.”
He just smiled, hope and uncertainty warring for dominance in his gaze. She’d never seen such an open look on his face, not even when they were in bed together. Soft and adoring. Loving. That more than anything else convinced her. Her heart hammered in her chest. Before she could get the words out she had to draw a shaky breath. Two.
“I—I take you, Bretton Hahn, as my mate that we may walk together as partners on the journey toward perfection.” She glanced down at their joined hands and back up at him. “I don’t know if I can be perfect, Bretton. You know me. I won’t give up myself for you.”
“I wouldn’t ask that of you, fire fin. We walk together, hold each other up when we stumble, love each other despite missteps and flaws. If we never reach perfection, then we can enjoy the journey. Together.”
She nodded. “I love you, Bretton.”
His gaze snapped to Oeric. “You witness this mating?”
“I do, Ambassador.”
“My thanks.”
“It was my honor.” The big merman bowed to them.
Mahlia sniffled, and Varad handed her a saltwater silk kerchief. She flushed, grinned, and dabbed at her eyes. “I love mating ceremonies, though the merpeople have a very brief one compared to those on Vesperi.”
Jain grimaced. “The werebear ceremony involves bloodletting for blessings in fertility.”
“At least it’s interesting.” Katryn tossed her long hair over her shoulder. “The weredragons’ carries on so long, you merely wish to stab something for sheer entertainment. Believe me, Mahlia, Vesperi has nothing to Harena.”
“Well, your mate would not allow me to come to the ceremony to judge for myself, so I may refuse to believe.” Mahlia lifted a cool brow at the slimmer of Katryn’s mates.
Tarkesh chuckled. “Humblest apologies, your majesty. It is the way of our people.”
Mahlia’s nose wrinkled.
Bretton ignored them, hauled Sera up against him, and kissed her for the first time in public. No shame, no avoidance, just pure, unadulterated passion.
A man cleared his throat loudly. They looked up to see Senator Laddon puffing up from the main dome. Cuthbert followed in his wake, a look of angry determination on his face.
“Ambassador Hahn.”
Bretton inclined his head at the two older men. “Senator. Father. Should I even bother to ask what’s taken you away from your duties?”
“Counselor Hahn informs me of your intention to mate with—”
“Not intention. It is done.”
Cuthbert’s turquoise eyes bulged. “She’s not a citizen. It can’t be legal.”
“I challenge anyone to question my mating.” His gaze swept the two men and then the gathered men and women who helped the weretigers load the skimmer.
None answered. Silence reigned on the docking bay.
The senator raised his hands in a placating manner. “Ambassador Hahn. Please do not upset yourself. It’s unseemly. This…mating of yours seems to be influencing your sense of judgment and decorum. Perhaps your father is right to question how this will affect your position as the chief ambassador.”
Bretton’s eyes narrowed at the senator. “If you’re asking me to choose between my mate and my job, I’ll give you my resignation immediately.”
Cuthbert choked on the shocked breath he sucked in through his gaping mouth.
The senator sputtered for a moment. “That—this is a most unexpected turn of events. I’m not certain the council will be able to see how she can help you on your journey to perfection.”
Bretton focused on Sera’s eyes and stroked a thumb down her cheek. “None could aid me in my life’s journey as well as Doctor Gibbons—Hahn.”
Tears welled up in her eyes again, love squeezing her heart.
Senator Laddon’s face flushed, and he looked around at the people watching the exchange before he answered. “Very well. You leave me no choice. I accept your resignation.”
“Cynric,” Cuthbert wheezed. “You can’t do this to my son. He’s not in his right—”
“Done.” Bretton nodded to the two men and turned back to Sera. “Shall we leave for Vesperi then, my mate?”
Shock slid like icy fingers down her spine. “Bretton, what are you doing? You’re not even going to try to keep your job? This is what you do. I don’t want you to give that up without a fight.”
A laugh straggled out of Bretton. “You were right, Sera. I’ll never be perfect. I’m not even sure I want to be if it makes me a bitter, unsatisfied man like my father.”
“Bretton—”
He cupped her face in his palms. “Being with yo
u, loving you, is as close to perfection as I’ve ever been. What wouldn’t I give to hold on to that?”
She slid her hands up his back, embracing him. In her wildest dreams, she’d never imagined him walking away from his career for her.
A smile softened his aristocratic features. “I need you as I’ve never needed anyone or anything before. My life is so much better for having you in it.”
“I love you.”
He laid his forehead against hers. “I love you, too.”
Cuthbert broke in again. “Who will be the new head of the ambassadorial corps? No one is as qualified as my son.”
“Elia would serve quite well in the ambassador’s stead. She has recently returned from a successful expedition.” Oeric’s voice was deceptively casual.
“I agree.” Bretton nodded, straightening.
“The Harenans were quite pleased with her performance.” Tarkesh grinned. “And you all know how difficult weredragons are to please.”
“I don’t want to go to Vesperi.” Sera pulled in a breath, drawing Bretton’s attention back to her. “With Oeric’s help, there’s a lot I can do for the other planets from here, but I want to move to Pacifica and help settle it.”
Bretton tilted his head, considering. “I think a break from Atlantis is an excellent idea.”
“It is wonderful to hear you say that.” Chancellor Pell swept into the docking bay in a swirl of sapphire saltwater silk that matched her eyes. “It so happens that our new province at Pacifica will need a governor. I take it you’d like the position.”
Senator Laddon folded his arms. “I do not think—”
“That’s nothing new for you, Cynric.” She snorted back. “You haven’t done much in the way of thinking in the last half century. If you started now, you might hurt yourself.”
Cynric’s eyes bulged. Sera choked on an inappropriate laugh.
The whole room sucked in a breath at the blunt speaking, so rare among the faultlessly polite merpeople. The woman’s eyebrow arched. Her wrinkled brow furrowed as she angled Bretton a glance. “When you reach my age, spawn, you’ll find that you say what you will and none can gainsay one who has striven for perfection so long and strayed from the path so little.”
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