by KC Kean
I know the flight was short, but all this organizing and shopping has me exhausted. “Let’s head back.”
Juliana leads the way, not complaining that I haven’t bought myself anything, and my phone vibrates in my pocket. A smile instantly takes over my face, expecting to see a message in the group chat, but my joy deflates when I see a text from my mother flash across the screen.
Hesitant, I consider slipping my phone back in my pocket, but I know that won’t make my problem go away.
Mother: Why has Reece come home for the holidays and you have not?
Me: I never come home for the holidays.
Mother: Reece said you had a lot of schoolwork to catch up on. That better be true. You better focus, I will not have you tarnish the Paul name any more than you already have. I will be returning to Featherstone with Reece as I mentioned in my voicemail. If I’m not happy with what I see, your father will die.
I refuse to let the tears prick the back of my eyes. This woman has never treated me as her daughter, not in the way Juliana cares for me. I hand the phone to Luna as I step outside, needing the cool air to help calm my emotions down.
I promised myself I would not let her force my decisions, but it’s so hard not to fall into old habits with her.
“I’ll fucking kill her myself,” Luna mumbles beside me, and it pains me to know I wouldn’t be sad if that actually happened. Yet watching that man’s life leave his eyes still haunts me.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and lift my face to the sky to stop my mind from wandering. Now isn’t the time.
When I finally open them again, taking in my surroundings, I take a deep breath and release the stress building inside of me.
I make my own path, and I’ll fight my mother, just like I fought Frankie Winters. Just in a different way, but with all my determination to survive.
Fuck you, Lucienda Paul.
Jess
The chatter around the table, the clinking of glasses, and laughter fills the room. I have never been surrounded by this level of noise and love all at once, and I think I might want to cry.
That could be the wine talking, though. But I hold my glass out for Luna to top it up without a care in the world. It is Christmas Eve after all.
“How about us girls leave the men to clean up while we watch some TVD?” Juliana says, swinging her wine glass around comically. It seems I’m not the only lightweight at the table, at least.
“When the hell did I sign up for that?” Oscar groans, earning a smack around the head from Roman as Rafe responds.
“When you married my daughter, and for that, you get to clean the pots.”
Rafe throws a dishcloth, but Oscar catches it, flashing an over-exaggerated wink at Luna, who simply rolls her eyes in response.
“Don’t we have a dishwasher for that?” Oscar gripes, planting a kiss on Luna’s temple before standing.
“We do,” Bryce interjects. “But tonight, it’s called Oscar.”
Everyone chuckles as Oscar throws the dishcloth over his shoulder and sulks away.
“I was actually hoping someone would update me on the situation with my father,” I say louder than I expected, making the room pause, and it’s Rafe that finally responds, bracing his arms on the chair in front of him.
“We are working on it, I promise, but we decided we would discuss more with you after Christmas. You’ve been through a lot, and we want you to relax and have no worries, even if it’s just for a moment. It’s your choice though, we can have that talk right now if that’s what you prefer. I won’t take that decision away from you.”
Well then.
Fanning my face, I try to keep the tears at bay, but I can feel myself about to turn into a blubbering mess at the care they always offer me so freely.
I trust them to help with my father. If they’d had it their way, they would have stormed my mother, overpowering her to get to him, but it’s me asking them to do it on the down-low. At least for now.
Rafe looks frantically between Luna and me, likely fearful of what he’s done to me. But my emotions are all over the place right now, and their kindness, mixed with the wine, is too much.
“Don’t worry, Dad. We’re just overwhelming her, but in a good way,” Luna murmurs, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. “Let’s take a bottle or two into the den, watch some vampires and werewolves, while having a Red-tastic girl talk, yeah?”
I bob my head in agreement, scooping up my wine glass as I go. Walking the long way around the table, I stop at Rafe and wrap my arms around his waist. He squeezes me back instantly, and it reminds me of the phone call we had when Luna had just killed her mother.
He was lost, devastated, and a little broken, but he heard what I said on the phone. I have appreciated him even more since then.
Patting my head, he whispers in my ear. “We’ve got you, darling. After Christmas, I’ll get you up to speed. For now, try and be you. I see you in this room, soaking up all the emotion, but your mother planted some bad seeds in your mind. You’re constantly worrying someone is going to correct you.”
How the hell does he read me so well? My hand tightens around the wine glass as his words wash over me.
“Be yourself. Nobody has to like you or your actions except you, Jess. My daughter sees your strength. God, she usually believes girls have cooties, but not you. Believe in yourself.”
He releases his hold, taking another chip in my armor with him. I don’t know how to acknowledge people wanting to lift me up like this.
I see Luna standing by the door, nodding for me to follow her, and I squeeze Rafe’s arm before following after her, refusing to meet anyone else’s gaze.
Juliana is already relaxing back on the huge grey fabric sofa. The large sectional could easily fit sixteen people, yet the three of us sit right in the middle together, and Luna pulls a blanket from the end as we get comfortable. The curtains are drawn, and there is wine and chocolate on the dark oak coffee table.
It blows my mind how such a big space still manages to feel so comfortable and cozy.
The second Luna presses play on the television, and I know exactly where we’re at with the episodes. Sinking into the marshmallow cushions, I sip mindlessly at my wine until I find the glass empty.
I should probably slow down, but my body is leaning forward to get the bottle as the thought leaves my mind.
“So, Luna tells me you’ve spoken to West, Maverick, and Aiden,” Juliana mumbles, testing the water with me, and I blush.
“I have,” I respond, sinking back into the sofa with my glass full again. I’ll definitely need it if we’re going to be having this chat.
“And…”
“And I said I wanted to spend Christmas with you guys. Then, I would address everything else when I got back.” I keep my gaze on the television, but I can feel them both staring.
“Did I mention after her private conversation with Maverick, she looked well and truly fucked?”
“Luna!” I screech, spraying wine everywhere as my face bulges beetroot red, but they both just giggle. “Stop.”
“Oh, please, do tell us more, Jess,” Juliana goads, and I glare at them both.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Luna.” I lift my hand to my face, inspecting my nails instead of looking at either of them, but that doesn’t help distract them from the conversation.
“I’ve heard he’s got a little dick.”
“He does not,” I snap back, glaring at her, and that’s my mistake. Goading little bitch. It’s a good thing I love her. She almost falls off the sofa she’s laughing so hard, and Juliana is no better.
Payback will be a bitch, and she’ll deserve it.
“Like… like how not little is he then?” Luna asks, struggling to get her words out around her giggles, and I shake my head.
“I can still feel the stretch, and it’s been days,” I answer with a grin, and they both stare at me in surprise, probably stunned that I answered.
“Wou
ld you like to discuss the size of the Aces? Maybe, I could get them in here, and you could line them in order of— Hey!” I laugh as Luna throws a cushion at me, cutting off what I was about to say.
“That’s enough of that,” she laughs, and we all spend the next few minutes trying to get our chuckles under control.
My wine glass is empty again, I lie back on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling, and my chest feels like it might explode.
“I have never felt this sense of family before. I don’t know whether to smile or cry over it. My chest aches, more with joy than pain,” I admit, feeling a little dizzy with the alcohol running through my system.
“Oh, Jess,” Juliana soothes, wobbling over to my other side to sit by my head, her hands clumsily running through my hair as Luna laces her fingers through mine.
“You’re ours forever, Jess,” Luna whispers, and I smile across at her.
“Even if I refuse to marry West?” I ask, a numbness taking over my body.
“Jess,” Juliana murmurs, propping herself up to meet my gaze. “When we brought the agreement as an option to West, the only reason we moved forward with it is that he was honest about having a connection with you. He wanted to explore what could be between you both, and I remember the phone call you had while we were at lunch.”
“But, if she refuses to marry him?” Luna asks, pushing for an answer, and Juliana’s eyes flit between the two of us.
“Then she doesn’t marry him. I love you more than bloodline agreements, Jess.”
I feel like they’re exposing all my vulnerabilities tonight, and the wine is encouraging me to voice them too.
“Although, I know there is definitely something there, Red. Don’t let this tarnish how you feel,” Luna says with a smile. “Besides, his bloodline tattoo is stunning.”
“What?”
“Yeah, it’s a red rose. He told me the name of it specifically once. Uh…freedom rose. It’s ridiculously beautiful.”
A rose. A red freedom rose is his bloodline tattoo. My heart pounds in my chest as I remember the flowers he loves to give me, and how he knows the meaning behind them.
“I don’t remember seeing it,” I ponder, not remembering that tattoo on his skin.
“I did it a few weeks ago,” Luna admits, and I nod in understanding.
“I would feel whole if my WAM sandwich was here,” I mutter, changing the subject, as my eyes grow a little heavy as I let the alcohol lull me to sleep. “They would make sure the nightmares stayed away.”
I feel like I’m floating on the water, drifting out at sea for hours on end.
Arms slip underneath my head and the back of my knees as I’m lifted, rustled from my sleep. “Maverick?”
“Sorry to disappoint,” Kai murmurs back, and I relax into his hold, hearing Luna grumbling for him to be careful with me.
My eyes remain closed as I stay in a state of delirium, not sure if I’m asleep or awake. I’m aware of being placed in my bed and a blanket being thrown over me, and I snuggle in.
“Does it ever go away?” I ask, barely a whisper as sleep tries to pull me under.
“Does what ever go away, Jess?”
“Hmm, the dead look in that man’s eyes?”
But before I get a response, I’m sucked into the darkness, praying the nightmare of that night doesn’t repeat again in my dreams.
Aiden
This fucking party is annoying the ever-loving shit out of me. I’m ready to be done so I can get out of here. This is the first time I’ve ever been mad that my bloodline requires me to host parties.
I’d feel much better if Jess was here, but instead, I’m dealing with idiots. I’m a little disappointed Reece has apparently returned home for the Christmas break. I had the perfect girl lined up for him. Herpes and all, and he had to go and ruin that too.
My chest feels tight, knowing Jess is hours away.
“Liven up, brother,” Trudy says with a grin, hip checking me as she leans on the bar beside me.
One glance at her with a raised eyebrow, and she drops the act. I’m not the only one not feeling this tonight. “You okay?”
“I’m fine, Aiden. Even better if you’d stop asking.”
“Never,” I respond with a grin, and she smiles back.
Back in high school, everything was easy. But the second we stepped into the academy, everything became a reality. Now, I’m learning to handle a relationship with a woman and two other men that want her too.
While my sister deals with a branding mark from the dead fucker Rico Manetti. May he rot in hell. She still won’t show me, and as much as I’ve tried to research what it means, I keep coming to a dead end.
I know she wants me to keep it a secret, but I know Jess knows. I think if I ask West or Maverick, they may have more information for me.
Sighing, I stop myself, my anger and stress will only get the better of me, and we’ll not be any further than we are now. She’ll let me reach out when she’s ready. I just have to be patient.
“Are you sure you’re too busy to have Christmas morning with me tomorrow?” I ask again for the hundredth time, and she pats my back like a child.
“I’m not too busy, Aiden. I’m just going to go home, and you’re going to stay here.”
“Hmmm.” My parents are nice enough but void of any real emotions. My sister seems to think that’ll change miraculously overnight, while I prefer not to waste my time on them.
No parents should teach their children how to take all the different types of drugs available before they even turn fourteen years old, bloodline or not. My stance on that will never change. They technically never forced us to take the drugs, but we were made well aware of how to prepare each narcotic.
“If you change your mind, I’m leaving at ten.”
Neither of us speaks as we stand side by side at the bar, watching everyone dance in the gazebo beside us.
Once over, I would have been spending the whole night in the sex tent, moving from one orgy to another, but now it does nothing for me. I want Jess, and if she likes us playing around in our own little circle, great, but that’s it for me. She’s it for me.
My phone burns in my pocket, begging me to tell her those three simple words, but I don’t want her to feel pushed into saying it back. This needs to be at her pace.
“Hey, Aiden, baby.”
Frowning, I glance to my right. I recognize the girl before me, but I have no clue what her name is.
“You want to dance, baby? I’ve missed you.”
“Fuck off,” I grunt, turning back to watch the crowd dance, but she doesn’t quit.
“Don’t be like that, Aiden. I know Jess isn’t here. What she doesn’t know won’t—”
“You either fuck off now, or I let my sister lay you out on the floor. Because I may want to gut you, but I don’t hurt women,” I growl, slamming my fist on the bar. “Then, I’ll pass the message along, so that when Jess is back, she’ll also have Luna fucking Steele at her side, and the two of them together will literally destroy you. Do. You. Understand?”
I can see the tremble in her hands as she gapes at me. When she doesn’t move quick enough, I slam my fist against the wood again, making her jump, and she hightails it out of here.
“I’m gonna start calling you Alpha Aiden if you carry on like that,” Trudy giggles, but I don’t respond.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I notice the suckers group chat flashing on the screen. Part of me doesn’t want to look, especially since I asked them both to come and entertain me, but they both refused.
Clicking open the messaging app, my eyes scan the words twice to make sure I’m reading them properly. Flipping the screen, I show it to Trudy, who smiles wide as she reads it too.
“Go, it’s fine. I’ve got this. Connor is here too.”
“Thanks, Trudy. Love you.”
Jess
Startled awake by someone bouncing beside me on the bed, I groan, nausea churning in my stomach.
“Stop,�
� I slur, too tired to deal with this kind of intrusion, but I hear Luna laugh in response.
“Come on now, Red. It’s Christmas morning, and you do not get to waste it away in bed.”
Rolling over to lay on my back, I fling my arm over my face as I feel her lay down beside me. My head hurts, and I’m quite sure if I open my eyes, the room will be spinning. Who let me drink so much last night?
“What time is it?”
“Almost eleven, now get your ass up,” Luna responds, ripping the cover off me.
“You’re not being fucking nice, Captain.”
“I refuse to start Christmas without you, so let’s go.”
Finally, prying my eyes open, I squint at her as I try to encourage myself to sit up. I feel gross. My mouth is dry, my eyes feel like they’re covered in crispy goo, and I ache from head to toe. Fuck my life right now.
“Do I get to shower and brush my teeth first?”
Luna grins at me as I swing my legs over the side of the bed. My face is likely green with all the churning my stomach is doing.
“You have ten minutes, don’t make me come get you.”
Slowly rising to my feet, I stumble to my private bathroom, and just as I’m about to shut the door, I hear Luna call my name. Glancing over my shoulder, she’s lying across my bed with a huge smile on her face.
“Merry Christmas, Red.”
Gah, why does she have to find her cutesy side when I’m cranky?
“Merry Christmas, Luna.”
Closing the door shut behind me, I shower in record time. I don’t know how I’m not actually sick, but when I emerge from the bathroom with my minty-fresh breath and towel wrapped tightly around me, I find Luna has pulled out some clean loungewear for me.
All I want to do is curl up in bed. I miss my guys. Their wrapped presents on the chair in the corner of the room taunt me as I ask myself why I chose to be away from them.
Distance, Jess. We needed a minute. I repeat, but the words don’t seem to stick the same way they did before I left. Sighing, I focus on the here and now.
