by Lori Ryan
“She’s not home. She left hours ago. Can’t you see her car’s not here?” The older woman gestured toward the parking lot and Aiden realized she was right. He didn’t spot Lily’s van anywhere. He turned to ask the neighbor if she had any idea when Lily would be back, but she had already slammed the door.
He tried calling and texting, but got no response. So, he waited. He sat in his car and waited, debating how to explain to her how stupid he’d been. How to ask her to come back, and give him a chance to be what she needed.
Lily still couldn’t shake the anxiety in her stomach. She’d gotten Aiden’s phone call and text an hour ago. Since she’d seen the news about his reaction to shellfish and trip to the hospital on Facebook, she had finally texted back just to ask if he was okay. He’d said he was and that he needed to talk to her. She hadn’t replied.
Not because she didn’t want to. In fact, she wanted nothing more than to call, text, and see him, whereupon she would likely throw herself into his arms, begging him to take her back, which was why she wasn’t doing any of those things. She wouldn’t do anything that would cause her to end up in his arms again, because if she had to leave those arms behind when he changed his mind down the road, she’d lose it for sure.
The only thing that had kept her from utterly wallowing in a self-misery-and-ice-cream-overdose-induced coma was her work. If she hadn’t needed to get out of the house to make her deliveries and keep her business afloat, she would be on the floor, huddled in the fetal position crying her eyes out for weeks on end. And, her mama hadn’t raised a fool. She wouldn’t put her heart back in the hands of a man who clearly had a huge, enormous, insurmountable aversion to commitment.
So, she’d called Katie for about the dozenth time to wallow in her misery and ask her friend to tell her again that she needed to be strong, and then she’d gotten out of bed and went to work.
When she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex and recognized Aiden’s car, her stomach flipped. So much for staying away from him. Lily pasted what she hoped was a neutral, friendly look on her face and stepped out of the car, waiting for Aiden to approach.
Not fair. The man looked like sin dipped in ice cream, all dripping with sex appeal as his eyes met hers.
“Lil,” he breathed out when he stood face-to-face with her, and she had to hold her breath and bite down on the insides of her cheeks not to jump him right there.
“Can we talk?” he asked, when she didn’t say anything.
“I don’t think that’s a great idea, Aiden.” Lily looked down at her feet, then back up at him, struggling to put some mental and emotional distance between them. She had thought if she went into this knowing it was just for fun, she’d come out with her heart intact. She hadn’t expected it to hurt more than breaking up with Craig had. A lot more. She had been completely unprepared for this. And, she wasn’t about to make the same mistake again.
“Please, Lily? Just let me come up for a minute,” he said, reaching for her, stroking her arm with the tips of his fingers. She nearly melted into a puddle in the parking lot, but she steeled herself and sidestepped him. She had a ton of empty containers in her van that needed to go up to her apartment to be sanitized before going with her to the commercial kitchen tomorrow, but those could wait. She needed distance now.
“Lily, I want to try again. I acted like an idiot, but if you give me another chance, I know we can—”
She didn’t let him finish. She couldn’t, because if she let him talk her into getting back together with him, she’d be in with her whole heart and soul this time. And, she’d be wrecked. She just knew it. Losing him twice—and she knew she would lose him because no matter what he said, the truth was, he wasn’t a long-term kind of guy—would just kill her. She needed to convince him to walk away.
“Sorry, Aiden. We had fun and it was great. Don’t get me wrong, but I’ve moved on. I had a really good time with you. I just, I’m done, you know?”
“It was great?” he asked, a confused look on his face. She understood the confusion. What they'd had was a whole heck of a lot better than ‘great.’ Try mind-blowing, earth-shattering, life-altering—those words fit. Great was the understatement of the century.
So, she topped her performance off with, “I’m seeing someone else now. In fact, I have to meet him in a little while, so I have to grab a shower.”
She made a show of checking her watch, then grabbed her keys and hit the lock button on the remote. He stood looking at her, the shock clear on his face.
“Hey, I really am glad you’re all right, though, Aiden. I was so sorry to hear you were in the hospital.”
And with that, she left, moving a lot faster toward her apartment than she’d have liked given the nonchalant, I’m-not-bothered-by-seeing-you-or-tempted-by-you-in-the-least attitude she was trying to exude. But, dammit, she needed out of there, fast. She made it inside, shut the door behind her, and crawled onto her couch, pulling her legs up to her chest. She would let herself have a good long cry and then call Katie to be sure she’d done the right thing.
She prayed she’d just done the right thing because doing it had hurt like hell.
Chapter Fifteen
“Hey, Aiden, are you on your way?” Kane asked when Aiden hit the answer button on his steering wheel. He’d been hoping it was Lily calling to tell him she’d changed her mind and wanted to see him, but it was Kane calling about the barbeque.
“Sorry, man. I’m gonna skip it today.”
He heard a little shuffling, like Kane was moving the phone from one ear to the other, before he replied. “Hey, you sound like crap. You okay?”
Aiden grunted in response.
“It’s Lily, isn’t it? You just have to go get her back, Aiden. You’ve been miserable without her. Go tell her you screwed up and you’ll do anything to make it up to her.”
Aiden could hear a female voice in the background, and he knew Elise was chiming in as well.
“I tried that. She didn’t want to hear it.” He gritted his teeth as he turned onto the highway. He really didn’t want to have this conversation. He wanted to throw something, or hit someone or break shit. And, he definitely didn’t want to go to a barbeque. If he did, he’d end up picking a fight with one of the guys just to try to stop feeling like this. To stop feeling as if he’d just lost the greatest thing to ever happen to him.
There was the sound of the phone moving around again and muffled voices before Elise’s voice came through over the Bluetooth in his car.
“Aiden, tell me exactly what she said.”
Aiden groaned. Great. Reliving it. This sounded like a good plan. “She said she had fun with me, but now it’s over. Oh, and she’s moved on. She found a new guy. It’s been nine days and she’s freaking moved on.”
“No, she hasn’t,” Elise said. “She just wants you to think that. She’s hurt and she’s scared, Aiden, but you can’t give up just because she’s trying to protect herself.”
“What do you mean? How do you know that?” He pulled off the highway and turned into a gas station parking lot so he could pay attention to Elise.
“A girl like Lily doesn’t just ‘have fun’ with a guy. She’s not like that, even if she promised you that’s what she was doing in the beginning. And, a girl like Lily doesn’t just get over a guy like you and move on in a little over a week. That’s just not going to happen.”
“Definitely not,” came another female voice in the background, clearly raised, and yelling into the phone, trying to be heard in the background.
“Who’s that?” Aiden asked.
“It’s Ashlyn. She thinks you’re an idiot, too.”
“Great. So what do I do?”
“Come over here. We’ll brainstorm.”
Aiden shook his head, even though they couldn’t see him. No way was he going over there now. “I can’t come over there with all the guys while you try to figure out how to fix my relationship with Lily. The guys’ll have a field day with that.”
>
“Hang on.”
He heard muffled talking and then Elise was back on the line.
“Meet me and Ashlyn at your place. We’ll be there in thirty minutes.” And, then she hung up.
Aiden shook his head again. He truly was clueless when it came to women. And, apparently, that wasn’t limited to the ones he was dating. It seemed to encompass his friends’ wives and girlfriends as well.
Chapter Sixteen
Lily used the code at Kane and Elise Tyler's place on the garage door keypad and waited while the door lifted automatically. She switched her cooler bag to the other shoulder, and slipped under the door when it was two thirds of the way up. Kane had called this afternoon and asked her to deliver extra meals for the rest of the week, which was odd, since she’d given him a few extra at the start of the week. Kane always had people at his house and they seemed to be going through his extra meals faster than Lily could keep up with them.
She waited until the garage door shut behind her, and then opened the door to the interior of the house. As soon as she entered the kitchen, she knew she wasn’t alone, despite the fact that Kane and Elise were supposed to be out. Turning slowly, she watched quietly as Aiden entered from the dining room. She’d like to say her heart wasn’t frozen in place in her chest, but that would be a lie. Sending him away the other day had been the hardest thing she’d ever done, and she’d been questioning whether she’d done the right thing ever since then.
Because, as it turned out, life was a whole lot emptier without Aiden in it.
He didn’t say a word. Just put one hand out, palm up, toward her as if asking her to follow him. Lily put down her bag and placed her hand in his, unable to take her eyes off of the smoldering heat in his gaze.
Heat, and ... something else. Desire, but not the desire she was used to seeing there. This was desire for something else, something deeper. As though he hoped for more from her than the previous sexual connection that they’d shared.
Lily gasped when they got to the dining room, where a candlelight dinner for two waited.
“Join me for dinner?” he asked, his voice so uncharacteristically quiet. He seemed almost subdued, as though he were afraid she’d walk out the door at any moment. And, she was tempted to, because this was scaring the daylights out of her. Part of her wanted to throw herself at him, to let herself believe in him and what he had said to her the other day. To believe he really wanted something with her, a relationship that was more than just casual sex. A very strong piece of her wanted that wholeheartedly.
But the other piece of her held back, wanting to run far and fast, wanting to get out before her heart was ripped to shreds.
“Please?” he asked, bringing her hand to his and placing one soft kiss on her palm. “Just dinner.”
Lily took a seat in the chair he pulled out for her and tried to ignore the shuddering response her body had to the brush of his hands on her arms as he pushed her chair in for her. Her body wasn’t on board with her run-before-it’s-too-late-and-you-care-about-him plan. Heck, who was she kidding? It was already too late. She already cared about him a lot more than she should.
“Ta da!” he said with a flourish as he pulled the top off the casserole dish on the table. Lily laughed when she saw that the dish was filled with what appeared to be your standard, from-a-box macaroni and cheese mixture.
Aiden scowled at her laughter. “If you’re not careful, I won’t let you have any of my masterpiece. Or any of the salad I made with my bare hands.”
Lily leaned forward and looked in the salad bowl. It appeared to be one of those salads in a bag with a mixture of lettuce and julienne carrots. To his credit, he’d placed sliced tomatoes on top.
“Did you slice the tomatoes yourself?” she asked and laughed when his slight squirm of discomfort made it clear he hadn’t.
“The tomatoes were Elise’s contribution, but I did make the macaroni and cheese myself,” he said with a grin and heaped a spoonful of the bright orange concoction onto her plate. This was followed by some salad and a piece of French bread, making her smile despite herself. His effort at cooking a meal for her was so sweet. Adorable, even.
Lily laughed again when he poured her a glass of red wine to go with her “pasta,” earning her another scowl from Aiden. And, that was when she knew.
She wouldn’t be able to resist him.
There was no way she could help but put her heart on the line with him. Her heart was already on the line. She was so in love with this man, she couldn’t breathe, for fear of letting the words slip out. Words she was sure he wasn’t ready to hear.
Aiden saw her expression and knelt in front of her chair, his hands going to either side of her face. “What is it, Lily? Please, Lily, tell me it’s not too late. That I haven’t messed us up so badly that we can’t make this right?”
Lily was mortified when she felt the first tears fall on her face, and she swiped angrily at them. How could she tell him that she had messed them up? That she’d gone and fallen in love with him, and now it was too late for her to just be with him in the way he wanted her to be? That this couldn't just be casual to her anymore.
Aiden wiped at the tears with his thumbs, grazing his mouth against hers. “Please don’t cry, Lily. Tell me what you need, what I can do to make this better. I love you, Lily. I’ll do anything you need, except walk away. I can’t walk away from you.”
Lily tilted her head and stared at him. What?
“What?” She voiced the question this time.
“I’m sorry, Lily. I’ll do anything to make you stop crying, but please don’t ask me to walk away. I know you don’t love me the way I love you, and maybe I should walk away because of that, but I can’t. I need you in my life. I need to have you with me when I go to bed at night. I need to wrap myself around you and breathe in your scent every night as I sleep. I need to wake with you in my arms and know I’ll get to see you, spend time with you that day. Everyday. I need to know I can talk to you, laugh with you, make love to you, everyday.”
“What?” she asked again and knew she was now starting to sound like the village idiot. “You love me?” she asked, trying to understand and wincing when she realized she still sounded like a fool.
Aiden’s face fell when he saw her response. As Lily realized how it must have looked when she’d actually winced as she’d asked if he loved her, laughter began to bubble up from her chest and she couldn’t stop it from bursting out. The whole situation was really quite ridiculous.
“Well, you don't have to laugh at me!” Aiden said, pushing up from the floor and stalking toward the kitchen.
Lily followed and found Aiden, arms braced against the counter, his head hanging as if she’d just kicked him. And, she realized quickly, she had. She just couldn’t believe this was real. Aiden wanted her, loved her, needed her. She turned her body and slid between him and the counter, fitting herself to him as he raised his head and eyed her.
“Say it again,” she whispered.
“So you can laugh again?”
“No,” she shook her head, “so I can believe it.”
His gaze softened and he raised his hands to cup her face once more. “I love you, Lily.”
“Again,” she whispered and raised her mouth to his. He spoke the words against her lips, and this time, she let them sink into her soul. As he pulled her body against his, wrapping her up in the way she'd come to love, fitting her body tightly to him, she began to believe.
Aiden carried her up the stairs to one of the guest bedrooms.
“But, Kane and Elise—” she began.
“Out. All night.” Aiden gently tugged the straps of her sundress down and nipped at the soft skin between her neck and shoulder.
“I love this shoulder,” he whispered, kissing her right shoulder. “And, I love this one,” he said again as he kissed her left shoulder, and a wave of arousal, of need, shot through her. Her breaths became shallow as he knelt before her in front of the bed and pulled her dress down fu
rther.
“I love these breasts.” He licked a trail down the fleshy tops of her breasts and then sucked a nipple deep into his mouth, drawing a moan from her. Her head swam and she couldn’t quite process all that was happening. He loved her. Wanted a life with her, alongside her.
Aiden pushed her back on the bed, so she lay on her back as he pulled her dress down her hips. He loved on her, leaving a trail of kisses down her stomach to the vee between her legs. There, he pulled her panties down and brought her halfway to heaven with his mouth before sliding back up to look her in the eye.
“Say you love me, Lily.”
This time, she didn’t hesitate. She jumped off that cliff and didn’t think twice about the consequences. She would love him for as long as she had him in her life.
“I love you, Aiden. More than anything.”
He kissed her deeply, drawing a moan from her as she tugged at his shirt.
“I want your clothes off, want you inside of me,” she said, struggling to pull his clothes off. “I need you inside of me,” she said. She had dreamed of being together with him again, and she needed to feel that now more than ever.
Aiden stripped off his clothes quickly and easily before donning a condom and covering her body with his. Lily wrapped her legs around his waist and gasped when he thrust into her in one hard, long move. Her muscles clamped down on him and she couldn't keep herself still. Her hands roamed his body, trying to touch every part of him, wanting to feel him, and be sure he was really there with her. That this wasn’t another dream.
Her hips rose to meet his thrusts as he bent at the waist to take a nipple into his mouth. When she cried out, his hand went between them, teasing her clit as he tunneled into her again and again. The wave of pleasure that swept through her as she came was intensified when she felt him stiffen and plunge into her again, coming as she raked her fingernails over his back.
