by Marian Tee
Andreus pulled away a moment later, and the other girl walked away with her chin up in the air and a look of affronted pride on her lovely face.
The sight did not surprise her, but even so it still made her heart squeeze. Hallie knew Andreus hadn’t been at all celibate in the past two years. Even so, he did go out of his way to prevent her from actually seeing him with other women. She was grateful for that, she supposed, but…it wasn’t enough.
She checked her watch, which was fashioned like a bracelet, its straps made of rubies and gold. It had been thirty minutes since the dancing had started - and she just couldn't take it anymore. She had told herself she wouldn't embarrass herself tonight, but...she loved him. Maybe tonight, it would be different?
Damn her. Andreus’ litany of curses continued in his mind as he watched Hallie pick up her skirts in the corner of his eye, and he swiftly turned his back on her the moment she started heading towards him.
The past two years had been hell, and it had started the moment the Athanas siblings moved into Afxisi’s headquarters. Although Hallie had never made an overt attempt to flirt with him, everyone still knew – just as everyone also knew that while he had never asked her out, he had always treated her differently, too.
He never meant to, but the moment her blue eyes met with his, logic went to hell.
He would find himself walking her to school, having lunch with her at the cafeteria, and sometimes, when he simply had a burning need to just be with her, he would even keep her company while she was washing dishes and actually dried the plates with her. Kellion, being the prankster he was, had even managed to take a damn photo and had it printed on the university paper.
He found himself changing, too, just because he knew it was what she wanted. He tried to curse less in her presence, attend more classes, and he even ate his fucking vegetables when she was around, just because she had this thing about making him “healthy”. It was all Yuri’s fault, though; that damn brother of hers ate more greens than any self-respecting red-blooded man should, and he had corrupted Hallie into thinking a kilo’s worth of spinach and broccoli per day was the ideal consumption rate.
Kellion, Helios, and occasionally Yuri were the only ones he spoke to at length about anything personal, the only people he considered his closest friends. Hallie, however, was a whole category, and she had this bewitching way of making him spill his guts without intending to.
How was your night? What kind of work does a Treasurer of Afxisi do exactly? Did you miss me?
It was always like that, questions that ranged from casual to curious to outrageous, and although he tried his best to stay on his toes, she’d flash that uniquely sweet smile of hers – shy, provocative, and adorable all at the same time – and he would find himself answering almost everything.
Or at least everything except about the nature of his work, but in the end, she had found out about that, too.
It had been the eve of her eighteenth birthday, and she had convinced him to sneak into her room because she wanted a gift from him. He had fallen for it, and that was when Hallie, sitting on her bed and ordered by Andreus to hide every inch of herself under her covers, had dropped her bombshell on him.
I know the truth, Andreus.
When he realized she was talking about his work, he had decided to tell her the rest and see for himself just how much she could take before she pushed him away. He had given her blow by fucking blow of what he did under the guise of being the club’s treasurer, had told her that as Afxisi’s debt collector, he had gotten really good at playing stab between the fingers. There had been a few instances he did miss, but they were all deliberate. He had told her that, too, in an effort to scare her away, but after all his stories of blood and gore, she had only asked him one thing.
When you need to go out of town doing your…job, do you have other girlfriends waiting for you in those places? Like how seafarers tend to have a wife at each port?
It had literally stunned him speechless for several seconds before he could burst out at her, asking, Seafarer? Who uses the word seafarer now?
Like a pirate then, Hallie had easily corrected herself. Do you have women waiting for you like a pirate –
Jesus Christ, no! And when she had only breathed a sigh of relief at his answer, he had asked incredulously, Did you not hear the part where I told you I cut fingers off?
I did.
And? He was still in a clear state of disbelief at her easy acceptance, but he had quickly gotten over his shock as soon as Hallie had thrown the covers away and came crawling towards him. He had cursed and tried to get away from her, but she had managed to corner him still by straddling his lap and locking him into place.
Why are you being silly, Andreus?
Blue eyes had gazed down at him in gentle reproof.
I know you. I know you’re a good person. If you had to hurt someone, that person deserved it.
And that had been that.
The pain Yuri’s father had caused her should have made Hallie run away from jerks like Andreus, but instead she had forgiven his checkered past and insisted on seeing something good in him. She was nothing he expected, nothing like what he needed her to be – a girl he could fuck and forget, a girl who was just like the rest, or even just a girl who could at least be marginally within his reach.
But instead she was perfect.
She was beautiful but not vain, smart without being a smartass, funny without being an attention whore. Despite her privileged upbringing, Hallie hadn’t a single spoiled, lazy bone in her body, and her hard work had eventually made Helios appoint her as the club’s manager.
The role had allowed Hallie to take over the household and manage the volunteers, a position much envied by the latter. She had done a damn good job at it, too – except when it came to the kitchen.
Memories of her culinary outputs almost made him smile – they had all been inedible, and one had even been bad enough to send a couple of unlucky rookies to the hospital for food poisoning. It was why, as much as the bikers loved Hallie like their favorite baby sister, they had all cheered as well when MJ came in and made the kitchen her domain, and Hallie herself had sheepishly admitted that she was getting sick of eating her own badly cooked food as well.
Like he said, perfect.
And it was because she was that he had no choice but to ignore her now. No choice but to pretend he didn’t feel her heart beating with his, no choice but to ignore the way his soul could recognize hers even amidst an ocean of humans around them –
He had no choice.
No fucking choice.
Hallie had been waiting for Andreus to turn around for one minute now. She knew Andreus was aware of her presence. He always was, but he could just be so stubborn about it.
Rising on her toes, Hallie tiptoed to let her fingers drift on the muscular slope of his shoulder. Just once, but slowly, with Hallie unable to help savoring the excuse to be in contact with him.
A few more seconds passed, and Hallie only released her pent-up breath when Andreus finally turned to face her. His handsome face was intimidatingly grim, but she fought hard to keep her smile in place. He did this all the time, she reminded herself. He liked to play tough this way, pretending there was nothing between them.
But it had been two years, Hallie thought achingly. Two long years of having to pretend there was nothing going on –
“Andreus?”
The light in her eyes made his guts clench. It was a look that he knew she reserved only for him, and that was what made it wrong.
So damn wrong, especially after…
Hallie started in surprise when Andreus suddenly cupped her elbow and led her away from his usual crowd of fans, women who only seemed to get hornier the more he ignored them.
“Don’t bother me right now, princess,” Andreus muttered under his breath.
Oh.
Hallie hadn’t seen that coming at all. Andreus had always been rude and unfailingly blunt, but he had never been this cold to he
r. She tried to search his face for a clue but couldn’t find any, and her smile faltered. What was wrong?
“How am I bothering you?” She fought hard to keep her voice light. “I’m not sure I---”
“Just stay the hell away from me. That’s all you need to know.”
His fingers suddenly released her arm, and its abrupt withdrawal made her feel empty. Lost. Scared.
“Andreus?” The change in his attitude hurt, but neither could she shake the feeling that he was hurting, too. “Is something wrong?”
“I just want you to leave me alone,” Andreus gritted out. “Is that so hard to understand?”
“But---”
“You’re getting on my nerves---”
Snickers from behind them erupted, and both Hallie and Andreus stiffened when they realized several of the club’s fourth-year volunteers had heard his words and were now staring at Hallie with smug contempt.
“You should listen to the Treasurer,” one of the girls said derisively. “It’s time you found out you can’t always enjoy special treatment just because you’re Yuri Athanas’ sister.”
There was enough truth in the words to hurt, but Hallie managed to retort, “I’ve never asked anyone to treat me differently.”
“That’s because you don’t have to,” the girl shot back.
“That’s right, I don’t have to. I know my own worth, so I don’t need anyone to make me feel special. You, however, seem to think otherwise---” Hallie let out a little sigh. “I think that’s quite sad.”
It was a good set-down, and she knew it, which was why she turned to leave as soon as she finished speaking, chin up, her gaze focused straight head. Tears threatened to spill any second, but she struggled to keep them at bay.
That Andreus hadn’t defended her from the other girls’ accusations didn’t matter. She wasn’t a kid. She could fight her own battles. What mattered, however, were the things he had said before it –
Don’t bother me right now, princess.
I just want you to leave me alone.
You’re getting on my nerves.
Regret brutally stabbed him as Andreus watched Hallie disappear into the night. He wanted to call her back, wanted to beg her forgiveness, wanted so many damn things with her.
But he could not.
He would never be able to.
His life was compromised, and Hallie deserved someone who could offer her forever.
Present Time
Chapter One
That’s your last trip down memory lane, Hallie scolded herself as she stepped out of the porcelain claw-foot tub and began toweling her body dry. Remembering the past always just hurt anyway, and none more so than the day of Helios and MJ’s wedding. It had been the first time Andreus had given her a taste of his cruelty, and unfortunately it hadn’t been the last either.
Although they had managed to patch things up that same night, nothing had ever been the same again, and as time passed, Andreus’ penchant for throwing her love back at her face had only resurfaced more and more. Sometimes, she would forget herself and wear her heart on her sleeve, and whenever she did, he would make a point of crushing her heart to pieces just so she would remember that there was one line she wasn’t ever to cross.
He would catch her looking at him with helpless adoration, and he would ignore her for the entire night. He would walk into her talking about him lovingly, and he would retaliate by talking about the woman he had last fucked. Out loud.
Just little things really, but when they happened day after day, it was like having a thousand needles prick her over and over – until one day she realized she was all bled out, and she had just…snapped.
They had been at the beach, and Andreus at that time had been Kalli’s designated babysitter of sorts. The two of them had been arguing while building sandcastles, and Hallie had been about to join them and play her usual role of mediator when she had heard Andreus bellow words that pounded the final nail on her coffin.
How many times do I have to tell you I don’t love Hallie Athanas?
He had hurt her so many times before that, but none of them had hurt as much as hearing him reject her love so explicitly, and the words had spelled the beginning of their end. He had apologized for it of course, like he always did, and she had forgiven him, like she always had.
But unlike with past hurts, his apology was no longer enough. She had waited, had even foolishly prayed and hoped the pain would die like it usually did, but with each day that went by, the pain had only grown worse and worse until Hallie had known there was only one thing to do.
She had left – and Andreus had let her go without a fight.
The sudden ringing of the intercom had Hallie hurtling back to the present, and she hurriedly wrapped a towel around her body as she padded back into her bedroom to answer the call. “Hello?”
“We’re having dinner in five,” Yuri told her. “Do you feel up to it or would you rather rest?”
Dinner meant she could see Andreus again, and her hopeless heart skipped a beat. “I’ll join you guys.” She tried to keep her voice calm, but her excitement must’ve still shown if her brother’s next words were anything to go by.
“What’s going on, Hallie?”
“Nothing.”
Yuri frowned. It wasn’t like her at all to play with fire like this, and he had to make a serious effort to resist lecturing her about the way she was handling this whole Andreus business. Like it or not, Hallie was no longer a girl, and he had no right to dictate her actions.
“I’ll see you downstairs then,” he said finally.
Kalli glanced up just as Yuri put the intercom down, and her brows furrowed when she saw the heaviness that darkened her husband’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”
Instead of answering her, Yuri bent down to look at the sketches she was working on. “How’s it going?” His wife had recently signed a book deal with Willow Manolos, which he felt proud of – and nervous about. Kalli had a tendency to take things a little too literally, the kind that saw nothing wrong about adding hotdogs in her bentos just to symbolize his cock. And since her upcoming bento book was also being marketed as a woman’s “edible love letter” to the love of her life, Yuri couldn’t help but feel slightly worried about how much of their lives she would end up revealing.
“It’s going very well,” Kalli answered dutifully, “but I don’t want to talk about my work. I want to talk about you---” Her gaze turned reproachful. “And this time, please don’t lie?”
“I’m sorry.” He was instantly and sincerely repentant, knowing how Kalli felt about any kind of dishonesty. “I’m just worried about Hallie and Andreus.”
“I understand.” She reached up to brush a few stray locks from his face, the gesture innocently tender and infinitely comforting in the way only Kalli could be for him. “I worry, too.”
Yuri was genuinely surprised. “You are?”
“I am.”
As this was the first time she had ever admitted to worrying about anything, he found her admission a little too ominous for his peace of mind. “Did Hallie tell you anything?”
“No.”
“Then why do you worry---” He stopped when Kalli started shaking her head.
“You’re being silly.” His wife’s patient voice made him feel like a five year old. “There is no reason for me to worry about your sister. She’s a very strong woman---”
“Are you saying you’re worried about Andreus?” he asked in surprise.
Kalli gave him a look that seemed to question his current level of intelligence. “Who else?”
A hundred possible answers to that instantly came to mind – Andreus was older, tougher, and more experienced – but Yuri spoke none of them in the end. This was Kalli, after all, and if there was one thing he had learned to appreciate about her, it was how so easily she could see through another person’s heart.
And so he asked simply, “Why are you worried about him?”
His wife gave him a sad s
mile. “Because he’s almost at the end of his tether.”
The southeast wing of Claymore Plantation, which was Andreus’ private share of the property, enjoyed the best view of the heart-shaped hedge maze at the back of the house. It was a gift of love from one of the former masters of Claymore Plantation to his English bride, whom he had originally married for her noble blood but had ended up falling head over heels for.
Stupid love story, Andreus thought to himself as he downed a shot of whiskey, his violent dark gaze focused on what locals considered one of the town’s most iconic attractions. Whipping away from the offending view his second-floor balcony offered in expansive splendor, he walked back inside to pour himself another shot. The liquid burned his throat, but unfortunately, it had no effect whatsoever on his mind.
He reached for his iPhone and bit back a curse when he saw the screen empty of any messages or missed calls from the FBI. It could mean a thousand and one problems, but it could also mean nothing at all, and in the end he deliberately shoved all burgeoning concerns out of his mind. Worrying over the lack of updates on his case was pointless, and he had better ways to make use of his time – such as figuring out what Hallie’s new game was.
I’m still in love with you.
The only reason they had been able to stay together all these years was because she had been willing to play by his rules. She was going to keep her feelings to herself, and he would do the same with his. It was the only way, would always be the only way they could have snatched moments of perfection between them.
I’m tired of keeping my feelings a secret. I’m tired of doing things your way. I’m just tired.
Remembering the immeasurable pain that had threaded through her voice made Andreus’ fingers curl dangerously hard around his shot glass.
Did she think it wasn’t the same for him, he thought savagely.
He might never have said the words, but she would have to be an idiot not to know she was the only one for him.
Since the very first time they met, he had fallen for her like a ton of bricks, and he had seen no one else.
