Outside the police station I check my phone. No call or message from Helen. It's 10.20 in the morning so 12.20 in Athens, what the hell is she doing? I try her number, it goes to voicemail, I'll give Tula a call maybe she knows.
‘Hi Tula, I need to speak to Helen, she said she'd call me this morning, but she hasn’t.’
‘But Beth, she's on her way to London.’
‘What?’ I can't believe it, why didn't she call me? ‘Which flight is she on?’
‘She should be landing at Luton at 1.45 our time, so 11.45 your time.’
I hail a passing cab and ask him to put his foot down, this is an emergency.
On the way home I text Helen saying I'll be at the airport to meet them then I call Mum.
‘Good news, Mum, get the car ready, we're going to the airport to meet Jamie and Helen.
28
Luton Airport
I can see Helen's long brown hair and Jamie's dark curly head coming through customs.
Jamie runs over and throws his arms around me. ‘Sorry Mum, I didn't mean to worry you, but I hate that school.’
I'm so happy to see him, my anger disappears. ‘I've been so worried,’ I murmur, holding him tight.
Mum comes over and looks at him. ‘We've been sick with worry about you Jamie.’ Then she ruffles his hair and gives him a kiss. ‘Don't ever do that again, promise?’
He nods.
Helen's hovering behind him, a satisfied look on her face.
‘Thanks Helen, I...’
‘Don't be silly, you'd have done the same for me. Anyway, I forgot to do something in London, so I had to come back, won’t be a minute, I just have to make a call.’
I laugh and leave her to make her call.
Fifteen minutes later, we’re in the car driving home. Mum's in the back with Jamie, Helen's in the front with me. Jamie's so tired he's fallen asleep on Mum's shoulder. I nudge Helen. ‘He's asleep, so tell me, what happened?’
Her voice is low, I can hardly hear what she’s saying.
‘I told him he wouldn't have to go back to the school in Oxford, and that you weren’t angry.’
‘But where is he going to go?’
‘Beth, it's the only way I could get him on the plane.’
Jamie starts to stir, we stop talking and resume when he's gone back to sleep.
‘Did you see Alex?’ I ask as quietly as I can.
‘Yes, he was on his way to court. I think he was relieved to see me.’
I grip the steering wheel tight. ‘I'll bet he was, still the same old Alex, who is he defending this time?’
Helen shrugs and yawns, her eyes begin to droop, we drive along in silence and she nods off.
As soon as we arrive back at Mum's, Jamie falls asleep watching TV, Helen goes for a lie down, Mum and I cook cannelloni for dinner.
Suddenly my phone rings. It's a woman from the estate agents in Queensway, the one who showed us the apartments.
‘Hello, I'm calling to let you know we have the keys for your apartment, when will you be collecting them?’
‘What?’
‘You just called us,’ she says, sounding surprised. ‘You paid six month’s rent in advance for the apartment in the mansion block.’
‘There must be some mistake.’ I look at Mum and frown. ‘You must have the wrong number.’
Mum looks at me questioningly. ‘Who was that?’
‘The estate agent in Queensway, they said they have the keys to my apartment, they wanted to know when I was collecting them.’
‘But didn't you go there the other day, with Helen?’
‘Yes, we looked at a couple of apartments, but I didn't rent one, how could I? I'm not working, someone else must have looked at it and she's got the wrong number.’
As soon as Helen wakes up from her nap, I tell her about the agent calling from Queensway.
‘She got the wrong number. Someone else must have seen it after us.’
‘Is it the apartment you liked, the one in the mansion block?’
I nod.
She laughs. ‘Then take it.’
‘Are you crazy?’ Didn't she hear me right? ‘I didn't send them any money; she made a mistake?’
She suddenly laughs. ‘But it is yours, Beth.’
Then the penny drops.
Before I can say anything, she comes over and sits next to me.
‘At least this way you'll know if you like it, won’t you?’
‘But Helen…’
She holds up her hand. ‘I got a very good deal. I said it needs a lot of work, the rooms are too small - blah blah blah. They’ve had it on their books for some time, so if you don’t mind decorating it.
‘Of course I don’t.’
‘Great, and if you change your mind, you can always stay with me, or sell the apartment in Athens. Why should Alex have it all to himself? You can buy another apartment.’
She's right. We can always sell the apartment and with my half of the money I can buy something else. Alex is rolling in money, so it won't bother him. The trouble is I really love that apartment.
Then I think of Jamie, what about his school.
As if reading my mind Helen laughs.
‘Beth, the school I told you about in London, they still have a few places, give them a call you never know Jamie might like it.’
Mum comes over and looks at me excitedly. ‘Now tell me what's happening? Is it the apartment you like, the one near where we used to live?’
‘Actually, Mum, it's very near, it's in a mansion block, just off Queensway, not far from the station. It needs a bit of work, but I can do that. It's on the first floor, facing the street. There's a small balcony which is amazing for London, the rooms are quite small but who cares and there's plenty of room for you.’
Jamie comes into the kitchen looking confused, probably wondering why everyone looks so happy. I just hope we can get him into the school.
‘Is there any Cava in the fridge, Mum? I think this deserves a celebration, don't you?’
As we clink glasses, I think of Nick, I'll give DCI Thomas a call in the morning, tell him I'm moving to London.
29
A few weeks later in London
It's Friday and for a change I'm alone in the apartment. Mum's gone to Oxford to see one of her friends, she usually does this on a Friday, and Jamie's at school.
I stretch and pour myself another cup of coffee. Now what shall I do? Get started on my latest article for work, relax and watch TV or go to the park for a walk? This is one of the benefits of working freelance. The disadvantages are you don't get paid when you're sick and you don’t get paid holidays.
The intercom phone buzzes.
It's Joe, the porter downstairs.
‘Hi Joe, what is it?’
‘Beth, a hand delivered letter has been left for you it’s marked urgent.’
‘I'll be down in a minute, thanks.’
Our apartment’s on the first floor so it’s always quicker to take the stairs. Two minutes later I’m in reception.
Joe greets me with a smile. ‘Sorry, I didn't see who it was, I was on the phone, when I turned around it was on the desk.’
‘Thanks Joe.’ I turn to go upstairs when the lady who lives above me comes over.
‘I'm sorry to interrupt. I just overheard what you said. I wasn't intentionally listening to you, it’s just that - I saw him - the person you're talking about - he was wearing a long black coat and one of those Russian style hats.’
‘Did you see his face?’ I ask, hopefully.
She stands frowning, then shakes her head. ‘It was so quick, he just popped the envelope on the desk then walked out. I think he had a beard, but I'm not sure, it could have been a scarf.’
I thank her and run upstairs wondering who the letter’s from. My name's written in large black, block capital letters on the envelope. The writing doesn't look familiar.
I rip it open, a piece of paper falls out.
I pick it up and read it.
>
COME TO THE MAIN ENTRANCE OF HOLLAND PARK AT 9.00PM TONIGHT - DON'T TELL THE POLICE.
For some reason, I've been expecting this. The other day I was in a car park loading the car with groceries, I had a strange feeling I was being watched. I drove home and watched in my rear mirror to see if I was being followed, but saw nothing unusual.
The next day I was on the small kitchen balcony and I had the weirdest feeling I was being watched. I remember looking down, but there was nothing unusual. I've only been feeling this for the past few days, I think I'm being followed, I'm not going mad. DCI Thomas told me to call him if I think something's wrong, but he's in Oxford.
The front door suddenly opens, it's Mum.
‘I thought you went to Oxford, Mum, what happened?’
She flops down on the sofa. ‘I did, but I didn't feel too good, so I took the next train back to London. I took the 36 bus from Paddington to Queensway, so much traffic, I should have walked.’
She gets up and goes into the kitchen. ‘Would you like a cup of tea, or coffee?’ she calls.
‘Nothing thanks.’
Mum looks a bit pale, but she often does lately, if only she would stop running around. Mum and Dad are getting divorced and this is how she deals with it, she still hasn't said much, but I can see she's stressed.
Suddenly she pops her head round the kitchen door. ‘I'm alright Beth, don't worry, it must have been something I ate last night, I thought the pizza tasted funny.’
Shall I tell her? I don't want to worry her but...
She comes in with her coffee and sits down.
‘Mum, take a look at this.’ I hand her the letter. ‘It was delivered by hand.’
Her eyes widen as she reads the note. ‘Did you phone DCI Thomas?’
‘Not yet, I...’
‘You have to call him, or I will.’
Of course, she's right. I grab my phone and call him; it goes to voicemail. I leave a message saying it's urgent and to call me.
Within minutes he's on the phone asking me to scan the letter over to him. He gives me strict instructions not to go outside and says he’ll see me soon.
Mum's making cheese on toast, I sit watching the news – then I think about Nick – did he leave the note? I keep thinking of him sitting in the garden talking to me, how nice he was, I was really getting to like him. ‘I'm going to the park for a walk Mum, get some fresh air, I'll be back in a minute.’
‘You can't, you heard what DCI Thomas said.’
‘Well he's not here, is he? Sorry Mum, but I have to go out for a bit to clear my head.’ She looks worried so I quickly add. ‘I'll be careful, I'll just go for a walk up to the top of Queensway and back.’
30
Holland Park
I don't take long it's too cold, just a brisk walk, then I'm back at home. Mum's tidied up and coffee's bubbling away in the kitchen.
Not long after getting back my phone rings.
‘Beth, just to let you know everything's been arranged for tonight, so don't worry - when you go to Holland Park, you'll be covered.’
‘By covered, what do you mean? Will someone be with me?’
‘Of course, you won't be in any danger, just act naturally, they mustn't know they're being watched. As you know, this area is covered by the Metropolitan police. A very good friend of mine called Inspector Hawes will contact you, just do what he says, he’ll call you before you leave and go over it again with you, now take down his number just in case you need to call him.’
The next few hours pass very slowly. Jamie comes home from school, Mum and I try to act as if nothing's wrong and make dinner, Mum's worried something will go wrong and who can blame her. My insides are churning, I feel sick so I make mint tea which helps a bit.
At 8.10, I receive a call from Inspector Hawes.
‘Hello Beth, I know DCI Thomas spoken to you earlier I’m just following up to introduce myself and make sure you’re OK. If you have any worries don’t hesitate to call me, you have my number?’
‘Yes.’
At 8.25, I go around the back to the car park, it's quiet now, only the lights in the overhead apartments make it not seem so creepy, if it wasn't for them it would be pitch black.
It doesn’t take long to drive to Holland Park, I’m nearing the main entrance and slow down. I can't see anyone outside but they're hardly going to make themselves conspicuous, are they? There's a streetlight nearby so I park close to it.
Twenty minutes later I'm still waiting, nobody's shown up. Maybe it's a prank. I'm sat here like an idiot, no phone calls, no tap on the car window, nothing. I look around, start getting out of the car then change my mind and call DCI Thomas.
‘It's me, what's happening?’
‘I know as much as you do, Beth.’ He sounds slightly irritated probably because he’s not in charge – maybe I should call Inspector Hawes? It’s dark and creepy looking inside the park.
‘I can’t just sit here - shall I get out - shall I stand in front of the entrance so they can see me. Can you ask your inspector friend? Or shall I call him?’
He pauses for a moment. ‘I’ll call you back.’
A minute passes, then my phone rings, it’s DCI Thomas.
‘Okay, stand in front of the entrance, we've got you covered.’
I get out of the car and stand there for about five minutes then start walking up and down, it's cold. Hardly anyone's around just me and a few people coming home from work or a night out. My phone rings, I jump and look around, expecting to see Nick, hiding behind a tree.
‘Beth, get in your car,’ DCI Thomas mutters. ‘Drive home, we'll see if anyone follows you.’
The drive back is uneventful, I park in the street outside our apartment, not in the car park, it's dark round the back and too damn creepy, just the sort of place someone would jump you.
Mum's in the kitchen looking worried. ‘What happened, Beth?’
I shrug. “What a waste of time that was.’
‘Where've you been Mum,’ asks Jamie, coming into the kitchen. ‘I didn't know you went out?’
I left him watching The Philosopher's Stone, his favourite Harry Potter film.
‘Oh, I just popped out for some milk, did you enjoy the film?’
‘Yeah, it was great. Can I have a hot chocolate?’
‘Of course, but first I’ll make a call, be back in a minute.’
I go into my bedroom, gently close the door and call DCI Thomas, he picks up immediately.
‘I don't know what happened tonight, Beth. We're checking to see if there’s anything suspicious, we're going through the CCTV outside the park, maybe we missed something. I'll call you tomorrow, and don't go out, okay?’
It reminds me of when I was a virtual prisoner in Oxford - the police outside - Nick always being so concerned, making me stay at home when he knew damn well...
‘Beth, are you still there?’ he snaps, sounding tired.
‘Yes. I was just thinking about Nick and the sighting of him in the Lake District. Have you heard anymore?’
He doesn't say anything, is there something he's not telling me?
‘Oh, I thought I told you, it turns out it wasn't him, just someone who looks like him. We did hear something about him being seen in Spain but I'm still waiting for more details.’
‘But Nick's not stupid. He knows how the police work. He's probably lying low for a while, until this quietens down, if he's in Spain he's not coming back here, is he?’
He grunts. ‘I know that's what I thought. Anyway, forensics have the letter you gave me, we may have some news tomorrow. Now go to bed, try and sleep.’
Jamie's in bed, Mum's drinking wine and watching a late-night film.
“I’m going to make a tea, Mum. Do you want anything?’
‘No thanks. Jamie went to bed, I think he’s doing some homework.’
I raise my eyebrows. ‘Very good, did he have his hot chocolate?’
‘Yes, I made it.’
I go into the kitchen,
it’s strange but even in here I get the feeling I'm being watched; psychiatrists would probably say it's because of what happened, but I still get the feeling I'm being followed.
While I wait for the kettle to boil, I glance out of the window, it's a bit windy and getting much colder now, summer's gone and the long winter nights are drawing in. The thought of it makes me go outside onto the small balcony, I'll have my tea out here, enjoy it before it gets too cold.
A few people pass by they all look so normal, but what did I expect? Someone standing under a streetlight, reading a newspaper, his collar turned up, his hat pulled down. I stand sipping my tea, surveying the street then freeze. A glint of light from the car below catches my eye, is someone inside the car smoking? Ten minutes later I'm still watching the car, hands cupping my mug of tea to keep warm. After a couple of minutes I go inside.
Mum looks up as I go into the living room. ‘Is everything alright, what did DCI Thomas say?’
‘He said he'll get back to me in the morning.’
She doesn't say anything, just frowns. ‘Well they'd better do something soon. Did he say anything about Nick? Have they found him?’
‘He said there's been a sighting of him in Spain, don't worry Mum, they'll get him soon.’
‘Well if he's in Spain, who sent you that letter?’
31
Later that night
What was that? I sit up in bed. I'm sure I heard something. Maybe it was a cat outside, or people coming home from a night out? Whatever it was, it woke me. I wish I had my Glock, I feel so vulnerable. Shall I get a knife? What time is it? My phone's under my pillow. I drag it out - 3.20 in the morning. I must sleep, DCI Thomas is calling me tomorrow and he gets up early.
I close my eyes. Then freeze. It's as if Mum's cat Tabitha jumped on my bed. But Tabitha's in Oxford with Mum's next-door neighbour. I turn over to reach for the light switch. What the fuck!
Something’s over my mouth, I can't shout, I can't move, it’s that same smell - then everything goes hazy.
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