“Start at the bar and don’t stop,” Lexi told me, settling back into her chair and making herself comfortable.
“I don’t really remember the bar too well. I was drunk.”
I had flashbacks, and the video Asher posted online helped fill in some of the blanks. There was no explanation for what had come over me. Kane had always been my friend, and I laid a lot of my shit on him when he didn’t want it. He never complained, but we’d never once done anything similar to what happened at the bar.
A few drinks coupled with my messy emotions between losing Jess and flying high from our zip-lining, and I couldn’t stop myself.
“We’ve all seen the video. You may skip it,” Neva said, giving me a reprieve. “When was the next time?”
They’d keep asking. That was just how Neva and Lexi were, and for once, I was glad they were. Exhaling, I sat up, rubbing my feet together in the water before I started.
“I needed him, because his brother totally flaked on me…”
I went into every detail. How we went from the president’s speech, to the fans on the street, right down to where his hands had been, open mouth or closed, and how long the kiss lasted. I stopped at what had happened in his truck but had been generous with my descriptions of Kane’s hands on my body, pulling me in for a deeper kiss, and how that small gesture had made me so fucking turned on I rubbed my hard nipples against his chest.
Lexi and Neva were practically on the edge of their seats by the time I finished. Their mouths were hanging open, and they were barely breathing.
“Satisfied?” I asked.
“God,” Neva sighed. “That was so fucking hot.”
“I knew I should’ve gone after that man as soon as I laid eyes on him,” Lexi added. “Did you get to second base yet?”
I chewed my lip and went back to staring at my feet. “Kane would kill me just for telling you two about the kiss.”
“Kane isn’t here and doesn’t have to know,” Neva said, splashing the water in her footbath around.
“Maybe,” I confessed. “But I don’t know what to do about Kane.”
Talking about what was happening between us wasn’t easy. Especially after my little epiphany this morning while I showered. I stood under that spray for nearly forty-five minutes, reliving what happened in Kane’s truck, remembering how much he had woken me up. That orgasm had been the best I’d ever had. His mouth, his fingers… Kane had done something to me I couldn’t keep inside. There would be no pushing down my feelings. I couldn’t ignore what I felt. It was like that orgasm had broken open a chasm of emotion, and it made me feel raw and free and unwilling to keep any of it silent and sleeping.
As I’d washed my hair and the hot water had made my skin pink and my body buzz, the realization hit me sweet and sharp and totally surprising: I loved Kane Kaino with everything I had.
But if Kane felt anything for me at all, he wasn’t saying so. He only seemed willing to discuss the show. No emotions. No recollections about him making me come so loud I thought I’d rattled the windows in his truck. He’d gone quiet on me, and I felt like I was completely lost without any direction for what to do next.
“Ride him hard, girl. Hard,” Neva said before laughing.
“He’s my best friend, you know?”
Neva’s smile fell, and she bunched her eyebrows as she watched me. “Doesn’t matter. I have plenty of friends, and I’ve never kissed them. That’s a pretty big step, even for best friends.”
“Have you talked about it?” Lexi asked.
“No.” I lowered in my chair, rubbing my temples. Kane had smiled when he’d dropped me off at my car in the parking garage. He even gave me a silent promise with one look when I’d asked him about helping me with all the items on the list. But this morning, he hadn’t wanted to discuss what had happened. “He changes the subject.”
“Here’s the real question.” Lexi straightened in her chair and stared me down. “Do you want to be more than friends?”
That was a very good question. I’d never really thought about becoming more with Kane because I worried it would ruin our friendship. I mean, not only were we best friends, we also worked with each other. I wanted more, but I didn’t want to end up losing the last person on earth I felt I could count on either.
I placed my hands over my face and groaned into my palms. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
“That’s a yes.” Lexi tapped her finger against her chin as Neva and I stared at her, waiting for her sage words of advice. “Okay. So, you’ve kissed multiple times. You’ve been to second base, maybe more, but you aren’t saying. I think that means a little more than friendship to both of you.”
“You need to have a real talk with him, Kit. Or you’re going to have to play dirty to get him to finally open up.”
“Play dirty?” I glanced up, confused about how to play dirty when it came to Kane. The man knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.
Neva gave me a wicked smile. “You need to make him jealous.”
“Kane’s all about control. You need to make him claim you.” Lexi giggled like a kid with a new toy. Or a Mean Girl with a new nerd to pick on. “He’s like a caveman. Men haven’t changed much in the last ten thousand years. Make him feel like he has to club you over the head and drag you back to his cave.”
I laughed, imagining Kane with a club, trying any of that shit on me. He’d known better. I might be nice most of the time, but I had one hell of a punch.
“Yeah. You need to make him so jealous, he finally tells you how he feels or shows you,” Neva agreed with Lexi.
“I don’t even know where to start.”
“We’ll help,” Lexi said and rubbed her hands together. “By the time we get back, you’ll have an entire plan of action at your fingertips. We will not fail.”
I wasn’t sure what was the wiser emotion—fear or excitement. These two bitches were relentless and motivated. Maybe they were just bored, but as they grinned and rubbed their hands together, I realized what I felt most was anticipation.
Kane had given me more pleasure in a twenty-minute make-out session than anyone ever in my life. But it was more than that. He’d warned me about what he liked. He’d shown me something erotic, something sweet. And because it was Kane, because I wanted him and only him, I knew something had to give.
At that point, I would’ve tried anything to get Kane to commit to finishing my list. He didn’t have to get down on one knee, but I’d at least like to have sex with someone I liked…or loved. And there was no one else in the world I loved more than Kane Kaino.
14
Kane
There was no excuse. That much I’d told my kid brother when he finally had balls enough to return my call.
“I had a source in Portland come through,” he’d tried, and I wondered if he actually thought I gave a shit about his excuses.
When I didn’t reply, offering only a low “Hmm” in answer, Kiel’s voice got tight, forced.
“Look, Kane, I already told Kit what happened, and from what she said, it all worked out.”
“Did she?”
“Well, yeah.” He breathed, sounding irritated when I didn’t speak. “Let me buy you a drink at Lucky’s. I’ll pick you up from the set.”
I never said yes. Never said no either, and around four thirty, while the crew cleaned up for the day and Kit went off with the makeup girls for a late spa day in Tacoma, my brother’s black Lincoln pulled into the drive.
I ignored the two taps of his horn and how he stood at his car, the door open, one foot still in the cab. “Kane?” he called, but I stayed inside the cabin, nodding to the hipster kid when he put the saws in the right spots for once and organized the extension cords. He was taking his damn time about it, but he was finally starting to come around.
Still hadn’t attempted another mustache, though.
Another sound of the horn and the kid straightened, looking from me to the open door. “Somebody waiting on you?” I shifted my glance,
taking my time with the last cup of coffee for the day. Asher, the hipster, only nodded, frowning again as the car door shut. “Some guy in a tie is walking up the drive.”
“That right?”
“Yeah, and he looks…” He stopped speaking, watching me for a few seconds before he tossed the last extension cord into the duffle where Dale kept them. “Well, I suppose I’ll take off.”
“You do that.”
There was a brief, full-second reprieve where I stood in the middle of the half-renovated cabin all on my own, before the crunch of gravel outside stopped and I caught the scent of my brother’s expensive cologne burning in my sinuses.
“Fuck, Kane, what the hell?” he said behind me, walking inside with his hands on his hips, half looking at me, half glancing around the cabin. “I know you fucking heard me blowing my horn.”
“Hmm.”
“Fuck’s sake,” Kiel said, standing right in front of me. “I apologized to Kit. I apologized to you. I had work. Something that took priority…”
“Nothing,” I said, finally looking at my brother, “and I mean, not a fucking thing, takes priority over Kit. Not when it’s something that damn big.”
Kiel watched me, eyes in a squint like he couldn’t tell if I was fucking with him. “Holy shit, you are sprung as fuck.”
“Go home, Kiel. I’ve got shit to do.”
He followed me when I left the cabin, and I turned, waiting for my brother to leave the place before I closed the door, locking it up as he went on waiting for me to say something.
“You gonna give me the cold shoulder forever? That’s mature, Kane. Seriously.”
I shook my head, trying hard to remind myself that the beating he deserved couldn’t be delivered on set. There were still stragglers moving around the trailers and lines of cameras placed around the property. I didn’t need the hassle that would likely come to me if I was caught, yet again, on camera, doing shit I had no business doing.
I was nearly to my pickup before Kiel jogged next to me, pushing up the sleeves of his oxford so that the small tattoo on his forearm was visible. Sigma Nu. Stupid fraternity bullshit I told him not to get. Like most things, my kid brother didn’t listen to me.
“Fuck, Kane, what’s the big deal? You took care of it like you wanted.”
“That’s not—” I jerked around, readying to pummel him. I hated the little smirk that was always twitching over his lips, like he was constantly on the verge of cracking a smile. I stretched my neck, glancing at the horizon to keep myself calm before I looked at my brother. “Not the damn point. Of course, I took care of it. I always take care of shit when you flake out. Story of my life.”
“Oh, give me a break,” Kiel said, that smug grin gone now. “Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy playing the hero. Especially for Kit.”
I took a step, fist curling at my side. “The hell is that supposed to mean?”
Kiel watched me, moving his head like he needed to give me the once-over before he elaborated. Instead of answering, my brother shook his head, and that smirk returned. “You want her. That’s obvious.” He paused, pressing his lips together before he continued. “I mean, I just wanna fuck her, but I guess you want that ass a lot more…”
I didn’t think. I only saw blind rage, fury. It had left me after that time in my truck, with Kit’s sweet pussy wrapped around my fingers, her over me, losing control. But Kiel didn’t get to fucking twist that up for me. And he damn sure didn’t get to say shit like that about Kit, especially not after what he’d done to her.
He barely moved when I went at him, tensing his body at the last minute before I punched him square in the nose. Once. I heard the crack of bone. But on the second punch, Kiel went down, falling onto his ass.
He held up his hand, covering his face to stop me before he scrambled to his feet. “Knew it! I fucking knew,” he said, sounding like he had a cold. Blood poured from his nose, and he held a useless hand under his nostrils that didn’t do anything but smear the blood over his face and across his fingers.
“Knew what, asshole?” I said, pushing him into my truck as I reached into the glove box. “Here.” He took the Kleenex I handed him and tilted his head back.
“You love her.” Love came out as “lub,” but that wasn’t what made me laugh.
“You’re full of shit.”
“Nope. You are.” Kiel sat up, and more blood gushed from his nose. It didn’t stop him. “I talk about fucking her, and you lose it. Broke my fucking nose. Stop being a pussy, and just admit you love her.”
“She’s my friend.”
“Whom you want.”
“That’s not…”
“And love. Shit, you already admitted you’re dumb about her. Just admit the truth.” He jerked a second Kleenex out of my hand when I offered it to him and slid across my seat, leaning against the passenger door. “Such a punk.”
“Says the asshole with the bloody nose.” I glared at him, sighing when I spotted the blood on my leather seats. “Here,” I told him, tossing an old flannel shirt at him. “You’re cleaning that shit up.”
“Fine. Just take me to the hospital, asshole.”
I laughed to myself, but still got in, ignoring Kiel as he went on telling me what he thought I should do about Kit. His advice was stupid, some of it disgusting. And after a few minutes’ drive, I tuned him out, feeling a little bit better after knocking him around. But as we moved through Ashford and my brother kept on spouting his bullshit advice, I couldn’t help noticing the small knot that had started to form in my gut.
Kiel thought he knew the truth when I didn’t know it myself. He thought he had a read on me when I wasn’t even sure I knew who I was anymore at all.
That night after the president’s speech, we’d both gone a little quiet, not saying much on the drive home. I’d brought her to the garage, and she followed me back to Ashford. The whole eighty miles, I watched her in my rearview, the cab of my truck filled with the smell of her, my fingers still warm from being inside her.
But I hadn’t been able to say much about what had happened between us or what that meant.
“Will you still help me with the list?” she’d asked just before she left my truck in the parking garage.
“Of course I will,” I’d told her, not real sure how I was supposed to act around her now.
“Everything on the list?”
No way would I answer that. No way could I deny my answer when I grinned at her, probably giving her a look that advertised what I wanted to do with her. Sex was on the table, for fucking sure, and as I drove home that night, thoughts of Kit and me together filled me up.
Kiel went on laughing at me, complaining about his nose and telling me what an asshole I was for beating on him over Kit. I didn’t blame him for being mad, but I sure as shit wasn’t happy that, of all the people in the world, my bastard kid brother was the one person who made me realize something that had been right in front of me all along: I fucking loved Kit Carlyle something fierce.
15
Kit
“Remember, don’t deviate from the script,” Neva said as she applied my red lip gloss. “You remember everything?”
I glanced up at her, smacking my lips together and trying to spread the stickiness out between both my lips. “I remember.” Climbing out of the chair, I took one last look at myself in the mirror and knew that either the plan would set things into motion or would blow up in my face.
“You got this, Kit.” Lexi bumped my shoulder, always filled with so much hopefulness. She was a die-hard romantic. Bet that crazy bitch was already planning our wedding.
That wasn’t going to happen. When Lexi got that look in her eyes—all wedding magazines and trips to David’s Bridal—I shut her down real quick. It was a fool’s hope, those wedding bells she heard. Because even if Kane slept with me and admitted to having feelings for me, I couldn’t see either of us taking the plunge and walking down the aisle anytime soon.
“Make him jealous. If he ain’t
seeing red, up the stakes a little. Every man has a breaking point, even Kane.”
“Oh lord,” I mumbled before pushing open the door to the trailer and stepping outside. Lexi and Neva stood in the doorway, watching me as I walked across the yard toward the cabin.
“Sway your hips, girl!” Neva yelled behind me, and I cringed, hoping none of the crew heard her.
Activity swarmed in the cabin as the crew worked on finalizing the setup for today’s segment. The remodel on the cabin was coming along nicely, and somehow, we were even on time. But that shouldn’t be surprising. Kane always ran a tight ship, and it took damn near a catastrophe for us to fall behind. Even in my absence, the man kept everyone on task.
I bit down the quick lick of irritation that moved up my chest when Bill caught sight of me, walking across the room toward me and stepping over the small stacks of lumber that lay in his path. “Hey, sunshine.”
“Hi, Bill.” I tried to keep my tone light, welcoming, though it took effort. Bill wasn’t my favorite person, hell, I didn’t even like him, but I wasn’t going to be a bitch to him. That wouldn’t serve my purpose, despite the sleaze factor he had. He’d never cross a line with Kane always nearby. I figured if our show became big enough, we could request to have him replaced. It took clout in order to remove one of the most successful members from the team.
Kane was busy with Asher in the kitchen, but he glanced up, giving me a nod. I made eye contact but didn’t so much as smile in his direction. Play hard to get. I let those little words play over and over again in my head as I stood there with Bill in front of me and Kane across the way.
“Have you been okay, Kit?”
“I’m fine. You?”
I was never one to make idle chitchat, especially with Bill. We had business meetings, always with other people, but we didn’t talk much about our personal lives, and I liked it that way too.
Nailed Down: Nailed Down #1 Page 12
