Realizing he’d mistakenly uttered the endearment that she despised, he frowned. He’d been doing it a lot lately. He didn’t mean to demean her, but that is the way the words made her feel. She was little compared to him. That was a fact. She may be small, but she was also strong, resilient, and courageous. He admired her inner strength. But then again he couldn’t forget she was breakable. How could she blame him for wanting to protect her? She was precious to him. He loved and adored her. He valued her life far above his own. Was that a sin worthy of her believing another male’s claim that he was keeping her as a slave?
He was the slave to her, to the emotions she stirred in him. Before her his life had been simple.
Let her hate him. It didn’t matter as long as she never again had the chance to allow Demetri or any other male to merge with her, to touch her again. How could she believe he had anything other than love for her? Holding out his hand he conjured up the necklace that she’d taken off to allow Demetri to touch her. It had been an offering from his heart, a gift to help ensure her safety. Before he’d given it to her it was a gift his father had given to him after their first battle together. It had been around his neck for over nine thousand years.
He crushed the damn thing in his fist, and then unable to stand the sight of the blood on her body, he removed it with a wave of his hand. He stared down at her. She looked so young, so naïve. How could fate give him such a pure woman? He would destroy her. Not as he previously feared. He would never raise a hand against her. He would destroy her innocence, her love for him and eventually her love of life. “Damn you, Brianna.”
Gasping, she sat up. Her wide eyes turned toward him though she couldn’t see him. She reached out and touched his face. “Ouch.” She pulled her hand away from him.
“Let me see it.” He grabbed hand and turned it over to look at her palm. He should’ve known her palms were injured. “Hold still, Brianna. There’s glass in it.” At least he hadn’t goofed up by calling her little one. Shielding her from the pain he carefully removed every jagged sliver of glass from each of her palms.
“You’re mad at me.” He wasn’t in the mood to talk so he got up to leave the room. “Nikolas?” He opened the door with a wave of his hand. “Are you leaving?”
He glanced over his shoulder. “It’s late. Get some rest.”
“Wait. I want…I need to go home.”
“For now on this is your home.”
“Take me home.”
“No.”
“You can’t force me to stay here against my will.”
“Actually, I can.”
She jumped up out of the bed. “No.” Obviously realizing she was naked, she grabbed the blanket from the bed and covered up her body. Frowning, she bit her bottom lip as she took a step in his direction. “I know you’re mad at me, but that doesn’t give you a right to force me to stay here. Take me home.”
He stared at her for a long time. Mad? That didn’t even come close to describing the rage burning in his gut. She’d pushed him aside to merge with Demetri. She’d rejected him. She’d trusted the other demon rather than him. She’d placed her life in the bastard’s hands. And for what? To help Demetri find and kill her sister. “He could’ve killed you tonight.”
“You don’t understand. He wouldn’t. He only wanted me to…”
“He wanted you to lead him to your sister so he could kill her,” he interrupted.
“No. He’s trying to find her. He’s trying to save her.”
“He has chosen to give himself to Mary Tate. He cannot have her as a true mate until he kills your sister. That is why he wants to find her. That is why he used you to get to her.”
“How can I lead him to her when I don’t know where she is?”
He laughed out loud. “Sorry. Sometimes I forget that you are human. You are her blood sister. As long as you are both alive you will have a connection to her.”
“Can I follow that connection to find her?”
“I seriously doubt it. You don’t have the power to do it.”
“Could we do it together?”
“No.” The truth was that Nikolas had tried to find Sara by way of Brianna’s blood bond to her many times, but he was never successful.
“Can we try?”
“No.”
“Take me home.” He knew what she wasn’t saying. She was desperate to get the hell away from him so she could get in touch with Demetri.
“This is your home. Get used to it.”
He was being cruel, launching an emotional attack on her. It was an act of revenge plain and simple. He was making a huge mistake, but he refused to take a softer line with her or simply walk away until he had a chance to calm down. What if Demetri had killed her? How would he have survived the loss? He ached to touch, to hold her, to comfort her…to soothe himself, but jealously, ferocious and all-consuming, burned in his gut. It was dark and ugly. When he’d been so desperate to get to her, to protect her, she pushed him aside to merge her mind with another male.
She lifted her head as if to meet his gaze. “You’re not…you’re blocking me.” He felt her pain and her confusion. He saw it in her eyes. He heard it in her voice. It nearly brought him to his knees to beg for forgiveness. Straightening his shoulders, he shook his head. He would not apologize. He would not admit to any wrong doing. Clearly, he was the one that was wronged.
“That’s right.” Realizing his hands were trembling with the effort it took to not touch her, he clenched his fists at his sides. “I am.” Like a stubborn little boy refusing to admit he’d made a mistake because his feelings were hurt, he crossed his arms over his chest and he stared at her as he waited for her response.
Sighing, she tilted her head to the side. “Because you’re mad at me?”
“No.” She was trying to get him to talk, to open up to her and work it out. But that wasn’t his way. He was a demon not a weak human male. He wasn’t kind. He wasn’t a pushover. “Because a master doesn’t share his mind with his slave.”
Eyes going wide, she opened her mouth as if she would respond, but then she closed it and turned her back to him. He’d never intimately shared his mind with anyone as he did with her. Deeply. Completely. And how had she repaid him? She’d rejected him. She’d slapped him across the face. “I promised you would know how it felt to be my slave if you survived.” She’d broken his heart. She’d scared the hell out of him.
Though she couldn’t see him, she turned to face him. “Do you hope to punish me so I regret the fact that I survived?”
“No,” he answered immediately. “Of course not.” He’d gone too far. The revelation caused his heart thunder, to pound painfully against the walls of chest.
“It’s been a long night. I’m tired, Nikolas.” She turned her back to him again. He almost reached out to her, but he stopped. He had nothing to feel guilty about. She’d been the one to reject him. He never would’ve pushed her aside to permit another woman access to his mind. While walking toward the bed, she tripped over the blanket and stumbled. He moved quickly and caught her arm before she fell. “Do not touch me!” He heard tears in her voice as she yanked her arm out of his grip. “Ever again!”
Without thought he took her into his arms and bent his head to kiss her. Palms planted against his chest, she struggled to push him away. Obviously mad over the fact that she couldn’t push him away, she bit his lip hard. He kept his arms around her, but he pulled back to look at her. Frowning up at him, fury burned in her beautiful blue eyes.
He tasted blood on his bottom lip. “You bit me.” And he enjoyed it. He laughed softly. Rather than respond, she stared up at him as if looking for something. Oh, damn. She couldn’t see him. He immediately opened his mind to her. He was shocked when she didn’t enter his mind. “I never should’ve blocked you; little one.”
“Honestly, I prefer it that way.”
He reached out and lightly caressed her cheek with the tips of his fingers. “I went too far. I’m sorry. Merge with me.”
As if burned, she flinched at his touch. “Never again! I understand that I cannot stop you from entering my mind, but that doesn’t mean I can’t stay out of yours. I’m done with you, Nikolas.” She’d recoiled as if repulsed by his touch.
“You can’t see unless you merge with me.”
“Really? I couldn’t possibly get by without seeing you. By all means I’ll sell my soul to the devil to see him.” She shook her head. “I would rather be blind than dependent on you for anything.”
“I was wrong.”
“Agreed. Leave me. I’m tired.”
“No.” He knew better than to walk away from her at that moment. Even if he didn’t he couldn’t. One way or another he had to make sure she understood why he’d behaved in such a ruthless manner. “I won’t try to make excuses for my behavior. All I can do it beg for your forgiveness though I know I don’t deserve it. I can’t change what I am. Not really. I can do my best to grow and learn to be more understanding. I can learn to be gentler with you. But my greatest need will always be to protect you above all else including myself. I wouldn’t think twice before killing anyone who dared to become a threat to you. Today I lost it when I found myself in the unique position of realizing you were a threat to yourself.”
She reached up and placed her palm on his chest. “I love the feeling of your heart beating so strong and steady.”
Opening his mind to her again, hoping she would merge with him, he placed his hand over her hand. And she did. Looking up at him she smiled. “Brianna…”
“Let me finish. A few years ago when you saved me from the fire at the club, I knew we were connected in some big way. It wasn’t long before I realized we were destined to be together as one. All this time I’ve been waiting for you to accept me for who and what I am. I believed that on some level your doubt in me was keeping you from being with me, but I was wrong, just as wrong as you are wrong right now. I wasn’t the threat to myself today. You were the threat.”
“No. I wasn’t. You took the necklace off. You merged your mind with Demetri.”
“Why did you give the necklace to me?” she asked.
“For protection.”
“Would it be so important for me to wear it if you trusted yourself?”
Of course it wouldn’t, but he wasn’t going to admit it. “Whether or not I trust myself has nothing to do with it.”
“The necklace is a tool to help you keep tabs on me while helping you to avoid truly giving yourself to me.”
“You have all of me.” How could she entertain any doubt in his love for her?
“I don’t have any doubt in your love for me. You doubt my love for you because you don’t like yourself. Why are you so hard on yourself?”
“I know what I am.”
“Your inability to embrace what you are and trust yourself was the threat to me today.”
“That isn’t true. You chose to believe another male over me.”
“I didn’t pick Demetri over you. I only wanted to find my sister. I love her. Wouldn’t you do anything to find me if I disappeared?”
“Of course. But it’s different. You can’t compare us. I wouldn’t be risking my life. You risked your life.”
“And you wouldn’t put your life in jeopardy for me?”
“It isn’t the same.”
“Why?”
“Look at you. You’re perfectly beautiful from the inside out. Your life is precious. You’re like a bright light shining in a sea of total darkness. You chase shadows away with every breath you take. Now, look at me. I lost my temper with you today and gave you a small taste of the darkness in me. There is much more, too much. It swallows me up.”
“I scared you. I hurt you. Fear and pain are powerful emotions. You are powerful beyond my understanding. I assume your emotions are just as strong. I don’t blame you for being upset and having a fit. I would’ve done the same.”
“Stop it. You’re making excuses for me. It wasn’t a little fit. I was wrong.”
“You need to look past what you see as darkness and see the goodness in you just enough to like yourself. If you do it you will no longer doubt my love for you.”
“I can’t.” He looked down. At some point while talking she’d unbuttoned his shirt. He watched her hand move lovingly over his bare chest.
“This is it, Nikolas.”
“We shouldn’t.” At war with his sound understanding of the danger he represented to her and his all-consuming desire to finally make love with her, the only woman he would ever love, he took a deep breath and held it.
“Now or never.” She released the blanket. He met her gaze for a moment, but then he closed his eyes as she pushed his shirt over his shoulders and down his arms. As it fell to their feet he sensed she’d taken a few steps back. “I need you. I can’t wait any longer. Trust yourself with me. Give yourself to me completely now or never.” When he opened his eyes he discovered she’d moved to the edge of his bed. She’d long ago given her heart and soul to him. Now, standing before him, offering her body, she held out her hand to him.
He took a few steps back and turned around to leave. He needed to get away from her. It was the only way to protect her. He stopped. “I should walk away, but…” He couldn’t. In an instant he moved across the room and took her in his arms. “Now.” Bringing her with him he sat down on the edge of the bed. Holding her hips, he supported her weight until she’d found a comfortable position on his lap with her legs wrapped around his waist, and then he framed her face with his hands. “I choose now.”
* * *
About Candice Stauffer
I live in Zeeland, Michigan, where half the year is winter and the other, much shorter half, is summer. It’s a wonderful place to live as long as you own a four-wheel drive vehicle and happen to get a kick out of measuring the snowfall in feet rather than inches.
I write paranormal romance because I love to explore and manipulate the limitless possibilities of the genre. To be completely honest, I’m also very fond of taking a totally hot, powerful, immortal hero and using a strong, confident, beautiful heroine to turn his world upside down and make him fight like hell for a victory that seems impossible to achieve. Some might call it torture. I call it entertainment and character building. Regardless, it’s great fun!
I have a strong aversion for helpless heroines. Though she’s afraid, a heroine must always be willing to fight like hell—and, yes, even if the fighting is against the hero. I’m not sure why, but I tend to really enjoy it when the heroine fights against the hero. Putting a hero through the wringer builds personality, right?
I’m often accused of being a little bit naughtier than nice and slightly rough around the edges. Okay, I lied—very rough around the edges. Life has been a challenge. But I’m grateful for every challenge I’ve faced. Through them, I’ve learned to focus on the goal rather than the walls surrounding it. Basically, I figure that as long as I enjoy life and do all I can to encourage and help the people around me enjoy life, it’s all good.
To find out more about me, please visit my website:
http://www.candicestaufferparanormalromanceauthor.com
For the latest news, check out my Facebook page
http://www.facebook.com/pages/CandiceStauffer-Paranormal-Romance-Author/135025903252623.
Hot Decadent Rising (Breath of Darkness) Page 29
