He gave a bitter laugh. “The police came to see me just as I was getting in the car to come here. Apparently they had to question your Boyfriend, their words not mine” he clarified and I nodded slightly as I reached for the door handle.
He gripped my arm, “Why don’t you come and stay with me, Liv? I’m worried about you” he asked, fear marring his beautiful face.
I turned to look at him, searching into the depths of his pure blue eyes and then shook my head, “I’m not your responsibility anymore Nate, you made that quite clear. Don’t worry about me” I said softly and walked out of the door as a woman walked in and gasped as she saw Nate.
“Mr Carter” I heard her greet as the door swung closed behind me.
The awards had been presented and I received one for ‘Commitment to the Company’ and ‘Colleague of the year’ much to the delight of my table and lots of overwhelmed tears. It had been awkward to collect the glass trophies from Nate, but I just smiled and didn’t look him in the eyes.
I was starting to get annoyed as Nate wouldn’t take his gaze off me all night and it was suffocating me.
He was situated at the next table to us with Eleanor who never left his side all night, constantly touching him and laughing hard at his jokes; she caught my glance once or twice and each time she gave a smug ‘I told you so’ smile and I just smiled sweetly back.
My phone rang in my bag and I checked the display to see it was withheld. “Excuse me, I have to take this, it could be the police” I smiled to the others, stood and walked over to a now quiet part of the bar.
Sliding the accept icon on my phone, “Hello” I said.
“Hello Darling” his voice purred down the phone.
My heart stopped, my breath halted and I swayed as my legs gave way. Trying to grab hold of the bar for support I felt my legs give way and I slid to the floor, my hand still trying to take hold of something as my brain was 30 seconds behind me.
“Nice to hear your voice again, Darling. Have you missed me?” his arrogant tone came down the phone.
I couldn’t get a breath and my lungs were screaming as a white mist surrounded my vision as sheer terror coursed through me. “Not got a hello for your Husband, Olivia?” he cackled as I was vaguely aware of people’s voices in the distance as the line went dead.
A hand rested on my arm and a blurred image came in close and I scrambled back, trying to fight for breath as I attempted to escape the distorted figure.
Air suddenly slammed into my lungs and I screamed; a high-pitched blood curdling scream as Nate’s voice and face registered in my brain. “LIV!!!!” he yelled, “LIV!!! Please, baby” his heart wrenching voice came into my head and my foggy brain emptied.
I somehow found his terrified eyes. “Liv” he breathed, relief flooding through him as I focused on him, “Baby? What’s wrong?”
My vacant eyes searched his, trying to decipher if this was a safe person. “Angel? Please! Talk to me” the fear was evident in his voice as he softly spoke to me.
I opened my mouth and my throat was so dry I couldn’t get the words out. “Somebody fetch a glass of water” he barked at the spectators and somebody scuttled off.
“Baby! Tell me!” he asked more firmly.
My eyes cleared and I held his, “He… he… he’s out!” I managed to squeeze out and I heard Nate’s lungs empty as he slid down beside me and pulled me to him, ignoring the crowd of people that had come to observe the show.
“Shush, Angel. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise. I promise, baby” he vowed, but I knew with everything I was, that everything was not going to be okay, everything had now changed forever.
CHAPTER 20
I was hazily aware of water running; a trickle and splashing registering in my foggy brain. My head was pounding as I sat up in the vaguely familiar bed and I took a look at my surroundings realising I was in Nate’s bedroom.
I couldn’t remember getting there or actually remember much of anything after the phone call.
I looked at my body, I was in just my underwear and I presumed Nate had stripped me before putting me into his bed and was now taking a shower.
Looking for something to wear and not finding anything I slipped on Nate’s dress shirt that was hung on a hanger over the wardrobe door and made my way downstairs, slowly dragging one foot in front of the other as I groggily made my way to the kitchen.
As I stepped off the last stair and was walking through the entrance hall a huge glass covered wall art caught my eyes and I halted, staring at it.
I gasped and advanced towards it, my mouth hung open as I came to rest before it and slid my finger over the glass, observing the piece. It measured about 3 meters by 3meters and in the very centre was photographs of me and Nate when we were at university together; laughing in some, kissing in others or just stood together on various trips we had made.
Around the edges were all the photos from the ‘Daddy box’, hundreds of pictures of Jay; the ones from his birth, birthdays, Christmas and all the mile-stones from his birth through to the day he left for university and after. Nate had arranged them in chronological order around the photos of us. It took my breath away.
I had started the ‘Daddy box’ as soon as Jay was born. It was full of photos; my first scan picture, Jay’s life in pictures and scrapbooks of everything he ever drew and made. His first tooth and shoes, his first lock of hair and the babygrow he came home from hospital in.
The father’s day and Christmas cards Jay had made his Daddy every year, and one for each of Nate’s birthdays.
There were DVD’s full of messages I had recorded, from Jay to his Daddy, such as on each of Jay’s birthdays telling his Daddy how old he was, what he had got for his birthday and the cake ceremonies were even on them.
Every single Christmas had been recorded, each with a special message for Daddy thanking him for his special gift... the present I had bought Jay every year specifically from his Father.
There were even Jay’s old music cassettes and Cd’s as he had gone through different genres of music through his life, photos of him with his first girlfriend and his friends so Nate would have an image of them if Jay ever talked about them.
There were letters from Jay to his father, every year from the age of twelve, updating Nate of everything that had happened that year in Jay’s life. There were important education documents from Jay’s life; His school and university acceptance letters, his school and college certificates and his exam certificates and lastly the photos of him, laying in hospital fighting for his life.
It was Jay’s life in a box, every single aspect of it and it was all done from me and Jay, purely for Nate so he could have some of the memories along with us.
“Thank you for those,” I heard Nate say quietly behind me and I turned to face him, “For the box… it helped” he added and I nodded.
I didn’t know what to say to him to help the pain of it all, “I’m so sorry Nate, I…” I swallowed, not having the words to express how I felt.
He walked towards me and cupped my cheek “Baby, I’m sorry for the things I said, I was… I was drunk and angry and stunned” he said sadly.
“I know, Nate” I sighed “What you have done, it’s beautiful” I uttered pointing to the wall frieze.
He smiled softly and swiped his thumb over my cheekbone “That’s because it contains my beautiful family” he said tenderly, gazing into my eyes. “Will he… will Jay still meet me?” he asked nervously and I frowned.
“Of course he will, Nate. He’s waited 19 years to meet you” I told him and walked into the kitchen.
Nate followed me and switched on the coffee machine, taking the cups from the cupboard. “He knew all about you, Nate. There wasn’t a single day that we didn’t talk about you. You know he’d come running in from school, showing me something he had drawn especially for you and asking me to put it in ‘The Daddy Box’” I smiled sadly.
“He would always talk about you like you were at work or somethi
ng ‘when my Daddy gets home will he play Lego with me mummy?’ or one time when he was 6 when James had beaten me, he’d listened… to my screams and then curled up in bed with me and he said… and he said ‘Shall I look for my Daddy? He’ll help us mummy, he loves us’” I sobbed and Nate came to me, pulling me into his arms.
“Oh Liv, I’m so sorry” he whispered in my hair as I trembled.
“He’s back, Nate” I sobbed “What am I gonna do?”
He pulled me across to one of the stools and onto his lap “I’m here baby, I won’t let him hurt you” he murmured, “I promise” he added with certainty.
“No, Nate!” I stood and looked up at him, the fear in me pushing me into what I needed to do. “I can’t be with you Nate, not now” I declared, shaking my head at him in horror, “You can’t be with me, Nate.”
He shot of the stool and took hold of my arms, “Liv!” his own fear written on his face, but not for the dread of James but the panic in what I was doing. “Baby, no” he cried, shaking his head desperately, “Don’t do this Liv, please.”
I thumped my fists on his chest. “He will fucking kill you, Nate” I screamed, hitting my fists into him again, “He hates you with a passion Nate, because of how much I loved you. And I do Nate, I love you too much to risk losing you.”
I was now pummelling him and he just stood there and let me, let me get it out and let me sob horrifically as I punched him, over and over until I was spent and he pulled me to the floor, pinning me in his embrace.
I was in Nate’s shower, the soothing water enhancing my senses back to life, my eyes closed in the ecstasy of its warm embrace.
What the hell was I going to do? I couldn’t let Nate suffer for me, if I left him it would rip him in two and if I didn’t he’d still suffer but at the fate of James’s hands.
A part of me wished I’d never dragged him into my pathetic life again; he’d be content and running around chasing various women, probably Eleanor and the thought of that nearly ripped me in two.
I was afraid for the kids, glad they were on holiday and where James couldn’t get to them.
I was worried about Jay been at university alone because James had hated Jay, for the reason that he was Nate’s son. He’d always been cruel to him and I tried my best to compensate for that when I was with him, always showering him with love and time.
We had had to keep the ‘Daddy Box’ a secret from James and hid it away, always adding things like videos and letters when it was safe to do so.
I started to panic, I had to ring him and let him know James was out. Scurrying from the shower and into the bedroom I started looking for my bag and began to freak out when I couldn’t find it.
“NATE” I yelled, “NATE!!” I was losing control as he came rushing up the stairs and stopped dead in the doorway, watching me rip his bedroom apart completely and utterly naked, water dripping off me and all over his expensive plush carpet, looking for my bag.
“Where’s my bag, Nate?” I yelled at him and he frowned at me.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked calmly walking into the bedroom.
“My fucking bag, Nate! Where is it?” I shouted at him.
He held his hands up I front of him trying to quieten me down. “Liv? It’s in the kitchen, baby” I stormed past him and ran down the stairs, still entirely stark-naked.
“Liv?” he shouted as he scuttled after me, “Baby?”
I came to a halt in the kitchen, my gaze urgently scanning the area. “I need my phone, Nate” I shouted to him, thinking he was still upstairs and jumped when I turned and he was stood behind me.
He dashed across the kitchen and into a door and came out of it with my bag. “Baby, don’t you think you ought to put some clothes on?” he grimaced and I realised he was turned on as he shifted himself in his trousers.
Glaring at him, I rummaged through my bag and retrieved my phone, quickly selecting Jay’s number and tapped my foot impatiently as it connected.
“Hi, Mum” his voice suddenly calmed me and I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. “You okay?” he asked hesitantly.
“Jay… Jay, I… sweetheart” I stuttered, I couldn’t get the words out with the relief of hearing his voice. “Sweetheart… I…”
“Mum! You’re scaring me, what’s wrong?” he urged as Nate appeared beside me as he realised I wanted to warn Jay.
He held out his hand to me and gestured for me to hand him my phone so I passed it him slowly “Jay, it’s… your… its Nate. Your mum wanted to tell you that… well… James is out Jay!” he finally declared.
I heard Jay say ‘shit’. “Yeah, I’ve got her here with me, she’s fine” he sat on the kitchen stool as his legs shook, finally talking to his son. “I won’t let anything happen to her I promise, Jay” he paused as Jay spoke and nodded to Jay or himself, I wasn’t quite sure. “I know, I know” nodding again.
A slight smile twitched his lips “Yeah I’d like that.”
He looked away from me, his gaze through the window and he nodded to himself again “We can come up to you if you want. It would give your mum a break from what’s going on” he paused again, “Okay. Tuesday then, I’ll send you my number and text me a time” nodding again he ended the call and sat staring out to the glorious scenery outside.
I walked over to him, lifted his chin and wiped the teardrop from his cheek, placing it on my lips then kissed him tenderly, giving him all that I had to offer him in that kiss, telling him how much I loved him and needed him.
“You know,” I whispered, tilting my head a little in contemplation “I never did manage to finish my shower” I gave him a pout, “Struggled to wash my back.”
His lips rose into a lazy grin “Need help with that, baby?” he chuckled and pulled me up the stairs and into the huge bathroom situated on the landing.
He spun me round and kissed me greedily, as if he couldn’t get close enough and needed to be inside me.
I kissed him back with the same lust, passion and craving. God! I loved this man, he was my life and there was no way I could ever let him go again.
He spun me round to face the huge mirror resting above the low vanity, me naked and pink, him behind me with his chin on my shoulder, hard and bronzed but it was the look in his eyes that grabbed my attention; it was pure lust, carnal and primal and it made my insides quiver.
His hands came up to cup my breasts and his thumbs brushed over my nipples, making them pucker in his touch. “Look how fucking beautiful you are, Liv” he whispered in my ear, “Look how utterly sexy you are when you’re turned on.”
I sucked in a breath, my core lighting up at his words. His mouth moved down my neck, goose bumps rising in its wake and I closed my eyes, utterly aroused.
“Open your eyes, Angel. See what I see when you come” his hand slid down my stomach and cupped my mound. My breath was shallow and slow as I opened my eyes and watched every move he made; one hand still teasing my breast and his other stroking my groove as he continued kissing and licking my neck, his eyes locked onto mine in the mirror.
Slowly he traced my clit with his thumb and I moaned, grabbing hold of the edge of the counter as he ground his jean encased erection into my bottom. “You make me so hard when I look at you, Angel” he said on a small groan and he slipped two fingers into me and I bent my head back onto his shoulder as I continued to watch his face, the hunger and desire painted across it.
His hand continued to work me as his other hand came down and slipped to join the other, taking over from the other to rub at my bud and I felt the onslaught that was going to hit me hard.
His fingers slipped out of me and made their way towards my bottom, spreading my arousal that was slick on his fingers. His other hand took over and sank into my sex, I gasped and my eyes flew wide as his finger pressed against my anus. “Shush Baby, trust me” his fingers worked inside me as his other inched into my behind.
I was anxious and so bloody horny at the same time. “Touch yourself, baby” Nate whispered and
I frowned at him in the mirror.
“Slip your hand down and touch your clit, Angel” he was panting now, his stiff erection still rubbing at my backside along with his finger.
Never leaving his gaze I slowly slid my hand down to my own arousal as his fingers were now deftly plunging in and out, down to his knuckles as his other rubbed at my tight hole.
My fingers found my clit and as the climax started to build he slipped his finger gently into me, inch by inch, slowly but firmly and I screamed as my orgasm rocked me to the core, the erotic feeling of being so full wiping me out and I bucked against his hand.
“Open your eyes, baby. Look how you fucking glow as I make you come.”
He continued to work me, slowly bringing me down from my high as our eyes were linked, watching each other intensely.
I heard his zip as he lowered his trousers and freed his rigid cock and he slammed into me, all the way to my womb. “FUCK!! BABY” he cried, “Don’t move” he warned and we were immobile, him confined inside me as we gazed at our reflection.
He slowly started moving, lazily thrusting in and out as his hands came round to circle my waist as he increased the pressure in me, pumping harder and faster, pounding into me as I slammed back on him.
“God Nate, make me come, make me come hard” I shouted as he gave me a single hard thrust.
“Like that, baby?” another hard push and his fingers slid between my legs to stroke me as a loud guttural growl left my mouth.
“LIV!” he roared, an animalistic yell when he gave me one last hard drive as we both erupted together, heads flung back in pleasure and bliss as we panted hard and fast, him clung to me and me clung to the vanity.
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