Jay was struggling in his chair as James grabbed my hair and pulled me from the floor and pushed me up against the wall. I was aware of a phone ringing somewhere in the house.
James tipped his head to me and narrowed his eyes “I really hope you haven’t told anyone where you are, Olivia?” he hissed and I shook my head.
He slid the knife slowly down my cheek, a lecherous curl on his lips, “You were always beautiful, Olivia.”
The knife slid down my neck, a trickle of blood following it as it came to my shirt. His eyes never left the knife, tracking its progress with his eyes as Jay still struggled and my legs shook so hard my teeth chattered.
He slipped the knife under each button, popping my shirt open as it went. “Please, James” I sobbed as I heard the phone ring again.
“Stop fucking crying Olivia, you were always a bloody crier.” He regarded me again “I wonder if Jay will cry when he watches his mother get fucked like she should be fucked.” I whimpered as the knife pressed against the swell of my breast.
“Get your fucking hands off her” Jay roared and James laughed bitterly. “And how are you going to stop me, Jay?” he sneered as he turned and stepped towards Jay.
I grabbed his arm and pulled him back to me “James, leave him please, I’m here.”
He scoffed. “Always the same Olivia, sacrificing yourself for your precious Jay.” He slid the knife under the front of my bra and sliced it upwards, cutting it in half and nicking my skin as he struck, exposing my breasts.
He circled my nipples with the knife as I sobbed and my chest heaved, my brain had started to shut down and I fought against it, needing to be conscious to help Jay.
He gazed at my chest “You always had great tits Olivia, and I think they look even better now they display my branding, such a pretty pattern against your pale skin.”
He grasped my chin, squeezing hard “Take off your shirt, Olivia.”
I gulped. “Mum, don’t” Jay pleaded, “James leave her. Take it out on me but leave my Mum, please” his anxious eyes showing their terror for me but not himself.
James slowly turned to Jay, a sickening smile at his mouth “Are you asking me to screw you instead of your mother, Jay?”
I whimpered as I struggled against his hold. “James” I tried, cupping his cheek to get his attention back to me. He punched me again “Shut the fuck up, Olivia.”
I felt the tight skin on my lip split and the trickle of blood drip down my chin. “Oh for fucks sake,” he huffed “now you look a fucking mess you stupid bitch.”
I was watching Jay struggle against the ropes and James turned his attention back to him “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to fuck you Jay, just to see the look on your mothers face as I do it.”
The nausea rose at the same time as my knee, and I propelled it straight into his groin and as he doubled up I ran to the stairs.
“YOU FUCKING CUNT!” he roared as he skidded after me and grabbed my ankle as he caught up with me halfway up the stairs.
Pulling me back into the hallway, he flung me on the floor and kicked me in the ribs and stomach repeatedly. I curled up defensively as he kicked me again, pain and fear rendering me breathless as I whimpered against each kick.
He loomed over me and then he dropped down next to me and started hitching my skirt up my hips as his erection dug into my thigh. “Please don’t do this, James.”
He punched the side of my face again, “Shut up!” he snarled and started to rip my knickers down as I tried to crawl away from him.
“MUM!” Jay screamed as his hands were now straining hard against the ropes.
I heard James’s zip being pulled down as I made out screeching tires outside and car doors slamming.
James grabbed my hair and pulled my head back “You fucking bitch. I told you not to tell anyone.”
He clambered over me into the kitchen and shot through the back door.
The front door swung back forcibly and smashed against the wall and Nate came storming in. He roared in a heart wrenching agony as he took in my state; blood pouring down my face, my lip split and my eye bruising already. My skirt was around my waist, my knickers ripped and flung to the side of me and everything on display as Blake and Neo came thundering in behind him.
He huddled me up and shouted to Neo and Blake to go after James as I screamed at him “Jay, Nate, see to Jay!”
He frowned at me. “Where is he, Liv?” he breathed, his face paling to an extreme. “He’s in the kitchen” I sobbed and started to crawl across the floor to get to Jay, uncaring that my bare arse was now stuck up in the air, as the urgent need to check on my son roared at the front of my brain.
“I’m okay Dad, I’m fine” Jay shouted from the kitchen.
Nate scooped me up, pulling my skirt down as he carried me into the kitchen and sat me on a chair as he went to untie Jay. “You okay son?” Nate asked, fighting to calm his extreme breathing and Jay nodded and rushed over to me.
“Oh God Mum, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he was here when I walked in” he sobbed as he wrapped his arms round me.
Nate squatted in front of me and cupped my cheek. “Baby? Did he... Did he touch you, Liv?” he grated through his stiff jaw as Neo and Blake walked back in shaking their head at Nate.
“Fuck!” he hissed and then turned back to me but Jay told him for me, “He was just about to but he heard you pull up and ran for it.”
The blood was dripping off my chin onto my breasts and I became aware of my open shirt and thrust it together tightly as I got to my feet and calmly walked upstairs, opened my bedroom door, shut it quietly and flicked the lock.
The need to be alone was overpowering and I curled up on my bed, the familiar smell comforting me slightly.
I rocked and hugged myself, angry that James had done it again. Took away my respect and comfort in my own skin, took away my security in my own home and once again took away the peace of mind that I had found after 12 long fucking years.
***
My eyes opened and it was dark outside and I lay there for a long moment, numb and lost in my mind, lost in the terror that filled my thoughts.
The knowledge that he had hurt Jay crippled me, and the thought that Jay would have had to watch his mum being raped, ripped at me.
James was never going to leave us alone. He was going to make mine, Jay’s and Nate’s life hell, constantly having to look over our shoulders for the rest of our lives.
I urgently needed the toilet and sat up on the edge of the bed, my head was pounding, my face was sore and my ribs hurt when I moved.
I groaned and heaved my hammered body up and across the room and flipped the lock on the door, stepping out onto the landing.
Nate was sat, his arms embracing his tucked up knees and his chin resting against them opposite my door. He looked up and smiled sadly, “Hey, baby” he said quietly and I smiled and stroked his hair as I passed him to the bathroom.
I sat on the toilet, urine flowing when Nate walked in and started to run me a bath, pouring in lots of my favourite bubble bath. He came and squatted in front of me while I was still situated on the toilet seat.
He gently removed my torn shirt and bra, gracefully sliding them down my arms and throwing them in the bin to the side of the room. He slipped my skirt over my head as I was still sat, and then turned his attention to the bath, checking its temperature and swirling it as we both remained silent.
He turned off the taps and gently lifted me off the toilet and placed me tenderly into the bath, then stripped naked and climbed in behind me pulling me close and binding himself to me, wrapping his legs around mine as he washed me soothingly and delicately.
He leaned around me and sensitively wiped my face, taking extra care over my lip and cheek as he bit his bottom lip and grimaced.
I smiled softly as he took even more care over my now purple ribs and the incision over my breast.
His breathing was heavy and he was so tense it felt like I was leaning again
st a boulder. I slid round to face him and rested on my knees between his legs as I took in his pained expression.
His once bright blue eyes were now dead, his cheeky smile was gone leaving a severe frown in its wake and his beautiful sculptured jaw was now jutted out sternly; he was a heart breaking sight and the sadness in his face tore me apart.
I slid my finger down his temple and onto his heavy jaw and leant forward to kiss the trail it left behind and then I found his mouth, the need to kiss him greater than anything I had ever felt, the sting in my split lip making me flinch but determined to carry on.
The need to be loved overpowered the shame and pain and the need to be comforted by this loving and gentle man taking over my core.
“I need you, Nate” I breathed as I continued to kiss him with the very essence of my soul.
“Oh, Liv” he sighed and kissed me back with his own heart and soul, his hands wrapping around me as he lifted me gently and placed me gracefully down onto his long, thick shaft as I sucked in a breath and arched my back.
His hands tenderly caressed my breasts as I slowly slid up and down his length. His lips found mine as he kissed me exquisitely and he moaned against my mouth “I love you Angel, I love you so much.”
A tear slid down his cheek and I kissed it away. My mouth covered his as I tried to kiss away his pain and torture as I continued to make love to him, sinking down on him so slowly it was almost painful and his head dropped back against the rim of the bath as his climax took him, took him away from his own hurt and heartache and filled him with ecstasy, as mine came powerfully but painfully, my bruised muscles clenching around my fractured ribs.
I cried out and sobbed, the tears now finally flowing as I clung to the man I loved, him still inside me whilst he held me tight, as I rested my forehead on his and wept uncontrollably and heart wrenchingly.
“Ssshhh Baby, I’m sorry” he pleaded as I whimpered and snivelled against him, his hand sliding up and down my back, “Ssshhh Liv, please Angel, you’re breaking my heart.”
His thumbs wiped the tears from my sore cheeks and he placed them on his lips. “I love you Liv, I’m so sorry, Baby” he murmured as he continued to cover my face with little kisses “I’m so sorry, Angel.”
My tears were finally subsiding and I frowned at him. “What are you sorry for Nate?” I sobbed, trying to catch a breath.
“For everything, Liv. For being a stupid arsehole and leaving you twenty years ago, for that fucking bastard to get his claws into you. For not being there when you and Jay needed me and not being able to protect you both. For not being a proper Father to Jay and for not getting here fast enough to stop that filthy cunt get his hands on you.”
His face was pure rage, sorrow and torment and his pupils were huge and black, the blue had disappeared completely covered by his fury.
I leant back and stared at him. “You’re not fucking God, Nate!” I exclaimed, angry that James had made Nate feel guilty for what he had done, “You did get here in time, you got here in time to stop him raping me in front of our son. Do you know what that means to me, Nate? What it would have done to me if Jay had watched that?”
I was so angry I was screaming at him “How is any of this your fucking fault? Eh? If it’s anybody’s fault it’s mine for not standing up to him and leaving him sooner. It’s my fucking fault for marrying the bastard and putting up with it for years because I was a stupid, frightened little woman that couldn’t stand up for herself.”
My chest was heaving and I was shaking with rage but not at Nate or James, my fury was aimed at myself for all the sorry years I had cowed down and took James’s shit.
I climbed out of the bath and Nate tried to pull me back in. “Don’t touch me, Nate” I spat, so fucking angry with myself.
“Liv! Please, none of this is your fault. It’s him, baby, this is all him” he begged as he came to embrace me but I pushed him away.
“No, Nate! It’s my fault that Jay has had too much pain in his life.”
Nate frowned and shook his head. “Liv! You have done a fucking brilliant job raising him; you did that all on your own, baby.”
He was pleading with me now and I shook my head and laughed bitterly, “You have no fucking idea how bad James was to him Nate, he was cruel and twisted, always trying to make him cry. If I had been stronger and done what was needed!”
I swiped my hand across the vanity, scattering the contents over the bathroom floor. “Baby, please” Nate cried and pinned me in his arms, embracing me tightly. “Get off me, Nate” I screamed and pushed against him.
“Not till you calm down” he said calmly.
“CALM FUCKING DOWN?” I thundered, “Calm down? That bastard wanted to rape our son, Nate!” I screamed as I went into meltdown, wrenching from Nate’s grasp and destroying the bathroom in a blind fury.
Gripping the cabinet and pulling it from the wall I threw it across the room, smashing it to pieces and smashing bottles as it hit the wall. My fist struck the mirror and it cracked into a thousand little mirrors, sprinkling over the bathroom carpet and showering us with a dusting of glass.
I pummelled the shower cubicle door, cracking it forcibly and cutting my knuckles to shreds.
“Okay, that’s enough, baby” Nate said as he grasped me round the waist, flung open the bathroom door and carried, me kicking and screaming into the bedroom.
He laid us both down on the bed, me still fighting to let out my rage as he held me tight and tighter still.
As my anger subsided my brain started to shut down, it was always the same with me. It was my coping mechanism and I had always done it much to James fury and annoyance but it was something I couldn’t control and my body slumped as I passed out.
Nate still clung on to me, his own tears and distress controlling him whilst his body heaved against my motionless body, his mental limit at breaking point as his own meltdown finally took over.
CHAPTER 26
I had slept through the afternoon and night, my body needing the rest to recover and heal itself and I woke with the birds as they sang happily to the rising sun.
Nate was curled around me, heavily hugging me to him as he slept and I turned to face him but he didn’t stir, his beautiful face relaxed and carefree in his dreams.
I loved this man with all that I was, he had made me whole and happy again, but I was just bringing him heartbreak and pain. The torture of my life spilling freely into his and the agony of that made my heart ache.
His eyes were flicking under his eyelids, a sign that he was having his own private vision, a fantasy to escape to away from the nightmare of our lives.
I smiled softly and left the bed, wrapping myself in my robe and going down to the kitchen in desperate need of coffee.
Jay was sat at the kitchen table, staring through the window in a trance and he didn’t hear me as I walked over and kissed the top of his head, putting my arms around his shoulders and following the direction of his gaze.
His arms came to rest over mine as he sighed and rested his head back against me. “Morning Mum, you feeling better?” he asked softly and I nodded against him. “You?” I asked back, my gaze dropping to his sore wrists and grimacing at the sight of them.
He nodded and rose from his chair. “Coffee?” he smiled and I nodded and sat down in the chair next to his.
Placing the mug on the table in front of me he took hold of my hand and held it tight “I’m so sorry, Mum.”
His eyes watered and his face crumpled as I shook my head at him, “Don’t Jay, none of this is your fault. Don’t you dare blame yourself for this” I urged.
The pain in his face made my chest heave as his fist slammed on the table. “But if I hadn’t been phone fucking with bloody Jess then I would have been more alert, I would have seen him before it was too late.”
I laughed without humour at his words. “You are so much like your father it’s frightening. Jay, sweetheart, if you had walked in on guard, with a bloody SAS back up team, he would hav
e still got to you. He plans things to within a millimetre, works things over in his mind one hundred times before doing it, it’s how he always was. Nothing you did or didn’t do would have made a difference to yesterday, I promise.”
He squeezed my hand in confirmation. “DC Yale came around last night to take a statement but you were kind of smashing up the bathroom at the time,” he rolled his eyes but smiled “she said she’ll ring you today sometime.”
I nodded and went to refill my mug. “I really think you ought to go and get your wrists checked, sweetheart” I said and he consciously rubbed at them.
“Nah, they’re fine but you ought to mum, your lip looks a bit of a mess.” I wrinkled my nose and shook my head.
“Hey” I heard Nate say as he entered the kitchen and came over to kiss me. I smiled and poured him a coffee. “You Okay, Liv?” he asked as he frowned at my battered appearance. The bruising had worsened overnight and my complete face was covered in cuts and bruises.
He sighed and ran his finger delicately over my cheek and across the split on my lip and I covered his hand with my own, “It looks worse than it feels Nate, I’m good.”
I smiled to reassure him and he nodded glumly then turned to Jay “You Okay, Jay?” he asked as he slipped into a chair.
Jay nodded “Yeah I’m good. I was just telling Mum that DC Yale came last night but you were both busy so she’s calling back today.”
Nate nodded and sipped his coffee, lost in his own mind for a moment. “Not that she’ll do anything” Nate murmured, more to himself than us and Jay shrugged and sighed “She said there was a warrant out for his arrest and they were looking for him but…” he shrugged again, a defeated look on his face.
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