by Hazel Parker
“So?” She tears her eyes away from his neck to meet his unspoken question.
“Shall we continue this somewhere...private?” He glances over at the hotel staff clearing the tables near them. They have held off clearing their table out of politeness.
Once again Audrey has failed to notice the people inching closer towards them. She’s failed to notice that the band has packed up and gone. All she can see or hear or feel is Pierce before her.
“Yes.” She stands up on wobbly legs. Still light-headed from his touch. He stands up and grabs her waist to steady her.
“One for the road.” He brings the fork to her mouth. Greedily, she takes the cake into her mouth and savors the moist chocolate.
“We can’t forget the cake.” With one hand he reaches for a lavender napkin, the plate of cake, and the fork. The other hand he places at Audrey’s back and guides her across the dance floor, through the tent’s exit, across the red brick pathway, to the hotel overlooking the black rocks.
“Can we go by the ocean?” Visions of making love on the beach beneath the light of the moon and the roar of the surf fill Audrey’s mind.
“As you wish.”
Pierce guides her along a red brick path that runs to the black rock beach. She looks over at his profile: Roman nose and pink lips. She remembers taking in his profile years ago on the dance floor through the haze of alcohol. She remembers wanting to take him back to her room to hook up. Back in college, hooking up meant making out, dry humping, and oral sex. She used to tell guys that she was a virgin and that she just wanted to have oral sex. She doesn’t remember if she told Pierce that. As a matter fact, she’s pretty sure she didn’t get to give him her speech because Whitney pulled her away. But she did tell him something. What did she say?
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Pierce looks down with an amused and quizzical twinkle in his eyes.
“Like what?” Audrey wishes for the millionth time that she had a poker face.
“Like you want to ask me something, but you’re too embarrassed.”
She silently curses her transparent face. She likes walking alongside Pierce’s confident stroll on the pathway to the beach. She likes feeling his strong hand and hard muscles against her body. She feels safe. She feels accepted. She knows that she’s staring at him with her puppy-love look that her friends have told her is the look of a hopeless romantic. But she can’t stop herself.
She loves the possibility of the moment. The possibility of the beginning of something like love. She loves the possibility of the starry, starry night in Hawaii with Pierce Goode of the Goodes from Greenwich. She wants the moment of warmth and hope and security to last forever. She wants his masculinity and his tattoos and his athletic physique to keep her safe by his side forever.
“So…?” Pierce stops at the end of the pathway where black rocks greet them and the crashing of the Pacific Ocean.
“How about we sit on that big rock?” She gestures with her chin to a large mass of rock that looks like a lava loveseat.
“Back to avoiding my questions?” Pierce pauses before the black beach and looks straight into Audrey’s eyes.
She shakes her head.
Guilty.
She doesn’t want to tell him her thoughts. She’s learned not to disclose happily-ever-after fantasies to bad boys. And Pierce is definitely a bad boy. Despite what Whitney said about him being single and maybe looking for something serious. He’s hot. He’s eligible. And he’s got a long line of admirers.
“No cake for you.” He holds the chocolate wedding cake aloft.
“No!” Audrey says this with a bit more emotion than she intends. The thought of the delicious dessert being wasted in the ocean upset her.
“Somebody likes cake.” Pierce laughs.
She shrugs out of his arm and bends down to undo her sandal.
“Allow me.” He rests the cake on a black boulder of lava six feet high that delineates the end of the lawn and the beginning of the beach. Then he gets down on one knee and takes hold of her leg by her ankle. He wraps his arm around her legs. “Lean into me.”
“Huh?” The thought of resting her bottom on his shoulder while he takes off her shoes sends shivers up her body.
“You can sit on my leg if you want.” He anchors his right knee and his left foot into the beach.
“Seriously?” She exhales. While she was prepared to make love on the beach, she wasn’t prepared for acts of chivalry.
“What? I’ve already been up your dress.” He grins. The moonlight reflects in his eyes and the memory of making her squirm.
“Ugh, you’re so not funny.” She plops down on his knee.
“Are you really not going to tell me what you were thinking back there?” He wraps his left arm around her waist and holds her in place. Then he runs his right hand down her calf in a slow massage.
“I…” She searches for a plausible story. She wants to say anything but not what she was really thinking. She couldn’t possibly tell him what she was thinking. Could she? “I don’t know if you’ll judge me.”
“What do you care if I judge you?” He massages her calf.
She shivers with the effort to control her body’s reaction to his hand. Suddenly she’s shy. Before she wanted to make love to him. She wanted him to be her first. Now, she’s nervous. She’s afraid to open up her thoughts to him. She was ready to open up her legs to him. But, she wasn’t ready to open up her heart.
“I, uh, I guess, I don’t want you think that I’m naive.” She puts her right arm around his shoulder to balance herself.
“What’s wrong with being naive?” He tilts his head to the right and looks deeply into her eyes.
“Seriously?” She wonders if she has misjudged Pierce all these years. She always thought of him as the young Goode who dated supermodels and drove sports cars and vacationed in the South of France.
“People who are naive are innocent. They’re not bitter. They still believe in love.”
The four-letter word shot through her gut like a meteor. If Pierce’s arm weren’t holding Audrey in place, then she would’ve fallen on the beach. The crashing waves brought the smell of sea salt and mists of warm water to dampen them.
“Do you believe in love?” Audrey finds herself asking before she can stop herself. She cannot believe that such a hot guy would drop the l-word on the first date. Is this a date? They only just met. Or re-met.
“Absolutely. Do you?”
The wind is knocked out of her. She remembers her favorite show, Sex and The City, and she thinks of the first episode when Carrie asks Mr. Big if he has ever been in love and he replies, “Abso-fucking-lutely.” She’s always wanted a guy to say that to her. Even though Pierce didn’t swear—even better—she has the feeling that some beautiful love affair is about to begin—is beginning—and all she has to do is enjoy it.
“From the way you’re looking at me,” he reaches up and moves a lock of dirty-blonde hair from her forehead, “I’d guess yes. Am I right?”
She nods her head.
“I can’t hear your head nodding.”
She laughs. “Yes!”
She’s both afraid and elated. She’s anxious that he may ghost her like all of the other great dates she had. She’s hopeful that his attraction to her will lead to something more. Another date. Another walk on the beach. Another dinner.
Suddenly she feels the urge to confide in him. She feels like she can trust him. Even though she had planned not tell him earlier, she feels like she can tell him now. Should tell him.
“Pierce, I’m a virgin.” She blurts it out. Then she waits rigid with anticipation. Will he have a barrage of questions? Will he question her sexuality? Will he write her off as a lost cause?
“Cool.” He slips her high heel off her right foot. Then he massages her foot.
She sighs. Of all of the responses she’s gotten in the past, no guy has ever said, cool.
“Cool?” She shakes her head. “That’s it?”
“You tell me.” He slips off her other high heel. Then puts his right arm around her and leans back as if stretching his back up and away from her.
“Well, I usually get a bunch of questions. I’ve never gotten that response before.”
“Well,” he straightens up, “back in college, I figured you were, based on what you said to me.” He chuckles as if replaying the memory in his mind while looking at her.
“What’d I say to you?”
“You still don’t remember?” He grins. “Maybe you blocked it out.”
“Was it…”
“Was it what?” His eyes twinkle with amusement.
She can only imagine what she would have said in her drunken state. She had no filter when she first started drinking. She’s learned to limit herself to less than four drinks. Or else she risks telling all of her secrets to anyone within earshot. But, back then, since she had never been drunk before, she must’ve said exactly what she was thinking, which was…? Her speech? Did she give him her speech?
“Did I...give you...my speech?”
“Your speech?” He raises his eyebrows. Clearly enjoying her lack of recollection.
“I used to give guys this speech…” She fidgets. Suddenly embarrassed.
“I want to hear it.”
“No, it’s…”
“It’s what?”
“Possibly...inappropriate.”
“Inappropriate for who?”
“It’s really direct.”
“I like direct.”
“It’s presumptive.”
“Stop beating around the bush. Just give it to me.”
“Well, I used to…” She pauses. He nods for her to continue. A broad grin rests on his face. “I used to give guys this speech when I wanted to… hook up.”
“Go on.” He interlocks his fingers at her waist as if settling in for a long story. Strong waves crash into the beach and the salt water splashes them. He wipes water from her face. The tender act surprises her. Her heart skips a beat. She gets lost in his touch for the moment.
Audrey stares into Pierce’s eyes. She wants him to be her boyfriend, her lover, her man. Whatever women are calling their partners these days. She wants to look at him and call him babe or bae or baby. Her cheeks flush at her desire for intimacy. Emotional and physical intimacy. She both wants to tell him, and she doesn’t want to tell him. Maybe if she says it, then she’ll sound more cavalier than she feels. She has a sudden need to protect herself. To put some distance between this warm and endearing moment and her raw feelings. She doesn’t want to get hurt again. So, she says with more indifference than she feels:
“I used to tell guys that I only wanted to have oral sex. I said that they’d have to go down on me first. Then I’d go down on them afterward.” Audrey holds her breath. She doesn’t know what she’s waiting for. She doesn’t know if she’s waiting for him to make a dirty joke or to laugh at her or to judge her as insecure or selfish or bossy.
“Makes sense.”
She exhales.
“I mean,” he continues, “if you don’t ask for what you want, then how will you ever get it?”
How is he so practical? How is he so accepting? Is he for real?
Audrey sees the twinkle in Pierce’s eyes. She sees his attraction to her. She sees his kindness. She is both afraid and endeared. She both wants to hug him and to run from him. She wants to love him and to leave him. She feels like she’s on the cusp of having sex—or making love—to the sexiest man she’s ever met, and she cannot believe that he’s holding her and carrying on a congenial conversation. Who is this guy?
“What do you want from me?” Her fear kicks in. She blurts out the question.
“I want to be your friend.”
“What does that mean?” She leans forward to peer into his eyes.
“I want to get to know you.” He holds her gaze. “Is that so hard to believe?”
“Pierce, you’re possibly the most eligible bachelor in the United States. So, uh, yeah, it’s a little hard to take in.”
“Who hurt you?”
She inhales sharply. She isn’t prepared for so much honest conversation. So much intimacy. She was prepared to have sex—finally!—on the beach. She wasn’t prepared to talk about her feelings or the past.
“Why do you think someone hurt me?”
“Because you act like you’re afraid to believe me.”
“Isn’t that normal?”
“Normal for who?”
“For virgins?” She cringes inwardly at the word.
“A child who lives with ridicule learns to feel shy.”
“Who said that?”
“I did.” He grins.
“No, seriously.”
“I read it on a poster in a classroom recently.”
“What were you doing in a classroom?”
“Taking a tour. Why?”
“I was teaching English in China before I came back to the States.”
“No way. Where in China?”
“Shanghai. Have you been?”
“Yeah. I was there too.”
“What were you doing there?”
“Touring schools.”
“Why?” She adjusts her bottom on his thigh. He shifts his arms to give her room.
“I’m thinking about opening up a private school.”
“No way!”
“Yeah. Why’re you surprised?” He unlaces his fingers and rests them on her waist. The feel of his hands on her waist sends shivers up her spine.
“I heard that your family has an oil business.”
“That’s my family. That’s not me. I want something that’s mine. Something that makes an impact on the world. Leaves it a better place.”
“Wow.” Audrey slides her arms around his neck and settles into his embrace. She feels the premature beginnings of something like love—or admiration—stirring in her heart. She wants to know more about him. Why does he want to open a school? How many schools did he visit? Why did he remember that poster? “What else did that poster say?”
The Pacific Ocean roars and massive waves thunder down onto the beach drenching them. Audrey gasps. Pierce pulls her up. They stand. Drenched in her long off-white dress, she feels the delicate fabric clinging to her curves. Wearing nothing but a lace bra and a matching thong, Audrey is sure that Pierce can see everything. She’s both embarrassed and emboldened. She wants to kiss him. But she doesn’t want to make the first move.
Beneath the moonlight, she looks up into Pierce’s eyes. He’s looking down at her with a peculiar smile. A smile that Audrey hasn’t seen on a man’s face before. A smile that is amused and enthralled and seductive. Quickly, he wraps his arms around her and hugs her close as if wanting to protect her from the crushing waves of the ocean. Looking deeply into her eyes, silently he asks a question.
“Pierce.” Her breath hitches when she says his name.
He leans down and finds her mouth with his soft and warm lips. Tenderly he kisses her. Then hungrily he penetrates her mouth with his tongue. He groans. She feels hot at the sound of this cute guy groaning with desire for her. She wants him. He wants her. This makes her want him even more.
His tongue explores her mouth. She feels his hands moving down her back to her backside and holding her there. She slips her fingers into his hair. Opening her mouth, she gives her tongue to him. His tongue strokes hers expertly. She’s never felt both desired and cared for; he slows down the strokes, causing her to moan. After what seems like forever, he whispers into her mouth:
“You’re so sweet.”
“Must be the chocolate,” she says into his mouth.
He laughs. His body presses against hers just like it did on the dance floor back in college. She remembers feeling his erection growing against her pelvis. She feels it now through his tuxedo. Pierce Goode, bad boy, most-eligible-bachelor, billionaire-heir, wants her...Audrey Smith. This elates her.
“Let’s go back to my place.”
“Um—�
�� She wonders if she should officially give him her speech. Even though she wants more than just oral sex. She wants to have sex with him. Make love to him. But, she doesn’t know how to say that without sounding like a hopeless romantic. What is the protocol for a virgin who wants to give her virginity away? Does she tell Pierce and ask him to be gentle? Does she tell him that she’s not in love, but she’s ready to have sex with him? Does that sound too practical? Unromantic?
“Not to have sex,” Pierce says to Audrey’s dismay. “I heard your speech. I want to show you something.” He slips her high heels backs on to her feet. His delicate touch makes her melt inside.
She’s disappointed. She’s annoyed that he thinks that she doesn’t want to have sex with him. She doesn’t know how to tell him that she’s not waiting anymore. That she wants to give it to him. But, she leaves these thoughts unspoken. Instead, she says:
“Which room are you staying in?”
“Room?” He shakes his head. “We have a place down the road.”
Of course they do. He’s a billionaire. How could she forget who she’s dealing with? The Goodes have homes all over the world. Probably a home in all fifty states. He turns to guide her back along the road.
“The cake!” Audrey can’t hide her anxiety. He laughs.
“What is with you and this cake?” He turns back to get it off of the high bolder where the water didn’t dampen it.
“I—” She thinks about telling him the truth. She wonders if telling the whole truth all of the time is a good idea. He already knows that she’s a virgin and she requires oral sex. What else could she say that’s more taboo than that?
“You’re not getting shy on me again, are you?” He puts his arm around her. She shivers. “Take my coat.” He hands her the cake to hold while he removes his blazer. “No cheating.”
“I never cheat.” She holds the cake close to her nose and inhales the tantalizing aroma of chocolate.
He drapes his large black blazer over her shoulders. The suit-jacket is warm from his body heat and makes her feel like he’s holding her. She sees some of the wedding guests walking hand-in-hand along the moonlit grounds in the distance. Her heels sink into the grass.
“Oh!” She reaches over to grab his arm. She feels his muscles flex underneath the button-down white shirt. Her stomach clenches with desire.
