Something in his tone told her there was more to his story. “And?”
He diverted his eyes, concentrating on an auburn-haired nurse with squeaky shoes, wheeling a patient onto the elevator. “I may have been able to help a couple of them out with other stuff.”
“Like?” She loved how modest he was, but she wanted to hear about all of his good deeds. She was really starting to like this man and wanted to know that deep down, they shared the same values.
“I don’t know, it’s no big deal.”
“Dec, please. Talk to me.”
He sighed, tilting his head back. “One had some medical problems a while back. I was able to foot the bill. Another posted about his crappy car breaking down again, so I arranged for the local dealership to deliver a new one.”
“Really?” Wow. She could definitely see herself falling hard for this guy. “That’s so sweet.”
“Like I said, they were there for me. You don’t forget shit like that.”
“A lot of people would have.” She was pretty sure a lot of professional athletes wouldn’t even remember the names of their earlier coaches, much less the impact they’d had on their lives. “I like that you didn’t.”
Without realizing it, she’d rested her hand on his thigh. He was looking at her hand, decorated with the topaz class ring her parents had given her as a graduation present years ago.
“Working with sick kids must help you keep things in perspective, huh?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you see little people who haven’t even had a shot at life having to deal with stuff no adult should have to. It’s got to be sobering.”
“It is,” she said, shaking her head. “But the flip side is that I get to help a lot of kids feel better. So there’s that.”
“Yeah, there’s that.”
“I would love to keep regular hours though. A lot of doctors manage it.”
“So how’d you end up working so much?”
“There was an opportunity, so I took it. In hindsight, I probably should have chosen a quieter option, in the suburbs maybe. Being right next to the hospital, we get a lot of referrals.”
He nodded. “So you don’t see yourself here forever?”
“No.” But it took money to facilitate her dream, and she had a mountain of student debt that wouldn’t be paid off for years. “But for the foreseeable future, probably.” She laughed. “Unless of course I win the lottery.”
“What would you do if you won the lottery? How would that change your life?”
She knew that people asked that question all the time, but Dec never needed to consider what it would be like to win the lottery. Every year it must feel like he’d won the lottery, given his huge contract and endorsement deals.
“First thing I’d do is pay off my student loans.” She snuggled deeper into his arms, feeling a little flutter in her chest when he kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair. “Then maybe buy a little house.”
“You still live in an apartment?”
“Yeah, not too far from here.” It wasn’t much, but she didn’t spend much time there. “So it’s convenient.”
“How about a new car?” he asked, obviously enjoying this game of what if. “Or a vacation? Lord knows you could use that.”
“A vacation?” She couldn’t hide her amusement. “What’s that? I haven’t taken a vacation since my family visited the Grand Canyon the summer I turned twelve.”
He looked appalled. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“There’s no time for vacations when you’re working your butt off to maintain good grades so you can get into a good college, maybe even qualify for a partial scholarship. And don’t even get me started on medical school and my residency.”
“And now you work eighty hours a week. What the hell, Mar? When does it stop? When do you get time for a life?”
“I don’t know.” She covered her yawn as she stretched her short legs out in front of her. “Someday, I guess.”
“Did you ever think about how you would have juggled a baby? You know… if you hadn’t miscarried?”
“Of course I thought about it.” She was a planner. She would have had the baby’s nursery decorated and all of the supplies purchased and stored a month before her delivery date. “I talked to my mom about it. She was more than willing to babysit for me.”
“How would that have worked, do you think? The custody thing, with both of us living in different countries.”
“We weren’t when I got pregnant. You were a free agent, right? You chose a bigger contract on a better team. Maybe you would have made a different choice if there was a child to consider.” She liked to think he would have, but she didn’t know how important baseball was to him. Was it his whole life or just a part of it? Had he been able to maintain a healthy balance, or did he have tunnel vision, the way she did, where his career was concerned?
“I’m sure I would have made a different choice.” He sighed. “You know, I’m a pretty old-fashioned guy. I would have asked you to marry me before the baby was born. Would you have said yes?”
She choked on the water she’d been drinking, covering a cough with her hand.
“Did I shock you?” he asked, rubbing her back as she leaned over.
“Uh, yeah. You don’t just marry someone because they’re having your baby.”
“Yeah, you do. My old man didn’t and I always vowed I wouldn’t be that guy. If I had a baby, I’d want them to have my name. I’d want to be a part of their lives on a daily basis, if there was any way to make that happen.”
She liked knowing that, but marriage was a huge step, one she didn’t take lightly. “I’d like to think when I do get married, it’ll be for love, not convenience.”
He looked down at her, brushing a curl off her forehead. “You wouldn’t be a hard woman to love, doc. Who says I wouldn’t have wanted to marry you because I was in love with you… and you happened to be having my baby?”
Wow. This conversation was getting a little too real, so Marika was relieved to see a familiar face rounding the corner. One of the nurses who’d been in Lorna’s room with them earlier.
Marika jumped up. “How is she? Did everything go okay?”
The nurse nodded. “Lorna asked me to tell you they have a beautiful, healthy seven-pound-six-ounce baby boy.” She curled her hand around Marika’s forearm. “They’re both doing just fine and you should be able to go in and see them in a few minutes, Dr. Boyd.”
She sagged against Dec’s chest, and he curled his arms around her. “Thank you.”
When he remained silent as the nurse walked away, she turned to face him. There was a look in his eyes she hadn’t expected to see. Happiness, for sure. But maybe a touch of longing too?
“How about that? They have a baby boy.” His smile was forced. “I hope they realize how blessed they are.”
“I’m sure they do.” Her palms rested on Dec’s chest and she could feel his heart pounding. Hard and fast. “Hey, you okay?”
He swallowed. “Yeah, I’m good.”
Chapter Five
Dec’s gut clenched as he stared at all the tiny babies on the other side of the nursery glass. These babies required extra care, and since Matthew had required oxygen when he was born, the nurses had to keep a close eye on him for a little while longer.
Damn. He suddenly wished it were his baby he was admiring. He wanted that. A baby with a woman like Marika, who put family first. No, he didn’t want it with a woman like Marika. He wanted it with her. He wanted to turn back time and have the baby they’d lost.
He rested his hand on the glass, wondering if the stress he’d caused her had contributed to her miscarriage. Was he the reason she’d lost their baby? If so, how was he supposed to live with that?
“Hey,” Calvin said, coming up beside him.
“Congratulations,” Dec said, offering his hand. “He’s perfect.”
His face lit up. “Yeah, he is, isn’t he? They’re goi
ng to be bringing him back into Lorna’s room in a bit, but I couldn’t resist sneaking out to get another peek at him. I still can’t believe it. I have a son.”
Dec nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. He’d grown up in a houseful of women, so yeah, a son would have been pretty cool. “How’s Lorna doing?”
“She’s good. But I honestly don’t think she could have gotten through this without Mari. That girl’s always been her rock. No matter’s what’s going on, Mari’s cool and collected as hell.”
“Was Marika, uh, calm during her pregnancy too?”
Calvin shot him a sidelong glance, obviously surprised by the question. “Well, no. She was pretty stressed then, but I guess that was to be expected, under the circumstances.”
“Hmmm.” He should be asking Marika, but he trusted Calvin to be brutally honest with him. “Do you think I caused her miscarriage, you know, because of all the stress I put her under, not manning up and—”
“Man, Mari’s the doctor, I’m not,” he said, raising a hand. “I’ve heard that ongoing or extreme stress can cause a miscarriage, but she would know more about that than I would. Besides, her job stresses her out, so you can’t take all the blame, even if stress was a factor in the miscarriage.”
Just knowing it was possible he’d played a role in their loss was a bitter pill to swallow. “I’d really like to do something to make her life easier,” he said, knowing there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to make up for the pain he’d caused. “She said something about student loans?”
Calvin chuckled. “Man, I think her student loans are about a hundred and fifty grand. She’s not gonna be paying those off any time soon.”
“But I could.” It represented less than two percent of his earnings last year, which was kind of sickening when he thought about how long it would take her to pay off that much money.
“Why would you do that?”
“Because I care about her. And I owe her.” If they’d had a child together, he would have been paying to support that child until he or she was legally an adult, and likely beyond. Why couldn’t he do this for Marika, to make her life a little easier?
“I doubt she’d see it that way. She’s a pretty proud person. She might get pissed if you went behind her back and did something like that.”
Dec knew she’d never accept his offer of help, which was why he didn’t intend to offer. He’d much rather beg forgiveness than permission. “Can you tell me where I’d have to go to take care of it? What I’d need to do?”
“She’d kill me if she found out I helped you with this,” he said, looking torn. “But if anyone deserves a break, she does. She works her ass off.”
“Then help me help her. Please.”
He pulled out his phone and asked Dec for his cell number. “I only have this information because Lorna and I just paid off our student loans. We thought it was important, you know, before the baby was born.”
Dec’s phone pinged with a text. “Thanks, Calvin. I really appreciate.”
“Just don’t tell her I knew anything about this, okay?”
Dec grinned. “My lips are sealed.”
***
By the time five o’clock the following day rolled around, Dec knew Marika would be exhausted, so he’d texted and offered to pick her up from work.
He’d walked her upstairs while the driver waited, but he could tell she was embarrassed by her tiny, non-descript apartment. They’d spent their day together four years ago in his palatial lakefront condo with sprawling views of the city. Her entire apartment was probably the size of his walk-in closet, which should have embarrassed him, not her.
She was a doctor. He was a ball player. He lived like a king and she lived like a pauper. There was something wrong with that picture. She deserved to live like a freaking queen and he could give her that life… if only she’d let him.
Today was the first step, but he knew if she reacted badly to his news, it could be the last time he ever saw her. It was a hell of a risk to take, but he couldn’t watch her continue to struggle when her student loans had an easy fix.
“Hey,” he said, tapping on her door after her receptionist told him she could spare a couple of minutes before her next appointment. “I wasn’t sure if you’d had a chance to get out for the good stuff.” He held up a take-out cup from the Starbucks around the corner.
“Oh my God, I love you,” she said, holding out both hands for the coffee.
I love you. Damn, what he wouldn’t give to hear Marika say that to him and mean it. “If I’d known I was going to get that kind of reaction, I wouldn’t have eaten the chocolate croissant on the way over.”
She narrowed her eyes as she peeled back the lid on the cup and took an appreciative whiff. “You ate my croissant? You pig.”
He laughed as he tossed the bag on her desk. “I may have saved you one.”
“Thank you.” She dove in, breaking off a piece and popping it in her mouth. “I usually don’t eat too many sweets, but I didn’t have time to stop for lunch today and I’m famished.”
He hated to hear that. His whole life revolved around eating well so he could be at the top of his game, and as a doctor, she of all people knew how important it was to fuel her body properly.
Dec walked around the desk and massaged her shoulders as she ate. He would have brought her a sandwich, but he was hoping she’d agree to room service at his hotel so he could feed her real food. Besides, he needed to tell her about what he’d done for her. And he’d prefer they had privacy in case she started throwing things at him.
“That feels amazing,” she said, rolling her shoulders. “Thank you for this, Dec. Seriously, it’s so sweet of you. I’m sure you have better things to do than take care of me.”
Not a single thing was more important to him at the moment than taking care of her. “My pleasure. Your receptionist said you’re not going to be able to get out of here for a couple more hours. You must be exhausted. What time did your day start?”
“Eight.” She polished off her pasty before she wiped her hands off with the paper napkin. “It’s not so bad really. I do it all the time, but the lack of sleep is really kicking my butt today.”
“Let me take you back to my room. We’ll order room service and you can fall asleep in my arms.” She moaned as he worked out a knot. “Come on, Mar. Do this for me.”
She chuckled. “It feels like you would be doing it for me, not the other way around.”
“I have an idea.” He stepped around the desk to look at her. “What size do you wear? Four? Six?”
She frowned. “Six. Why?”
“Let me go and buy you a few outfits to keep at my place. That way when you feel like spending the night, you won’t have to worry about stopping by your place to pick something up.”
Her mouth opened and closed before she shook her head. “I can’t let you do that. That’s crazy.”
“Why is that crazy?”
“Because I don’t waste money on clothes for myself, so why should you waste your money on me?”
Damn. She was killing him. The last woman he’d dated had asked for a Gucci shopping spree for her birthday. The one before that, three-carat diamond earrings. And Marika wouldn’t even let him buy her a few dresses. He loved and hated her independent streak, but one thing was for sure—she didn’t give a shit about his money. The fact he’d once accused her of that made him sick.
He knelt down so they were face to face. “Please let me do this for you.” He watched her lick her lips, and he wanted more than anything to kiss her.
“Why would you want to do that? If I want to, um, spend the night, I can just stop at home and—”
“When was the last time you bought yourself something nice?”
She blushed, lowering her head. “Nice things aren’t all that important to me, Dec. Financial security is. So I’m making sacrifices now so I can be secure later.”
“I get that. I do.” He gathered her hands and kissed them. “I love sp
ending time with you. I love the way you make me feel. So, maybe I’m being selfish, but I want more. More time with you. More dinners. More talks. More of everything.”
“More sex?” she asked, arching an eyebrow.
“Have I forgotten how incredible we were together? Hell no. I doubt I ever will, but that’s not what this is about. I’m not trying to rush anything.”
“I’m surprised you’re still here,” she said, touching his face. “I mean, don’t you have a life to get back to?”
He was almost embarrassed to admit he didn’t. “Only one of my teammates stays in Kansas City during the off-season. The others all have homes elsewhere. And while I do have other friends there, they have lives of their own too, so there’s really no reason for me to rush back.” He knew it made his life sound pretty empty without baseball, and maybe in a lot of ways it was. He needed someone like her to help fill it.
“What about your family? Don’t you spend time with them during the off-season?”
“I’ve already been to visit them, so I don’t have a whole hell of a lot to do over the next couple of months. I’d kind of like to stick around here with you if you’ll let me?”
She sighed. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
Shit. “Why not?”
“Because I think I’d miss you too much when you had to leave.”
God, he wanted this woman more than he’d ever wanted anyone, and every day she said or did something to make him want her more. “Maybe we could work it out, if that’s a risk you’re willing to take?”
She looked at a board behind her desk that displayed an assortment of hand-drawn pictures and cards from patients. “Dec, what are we doing here?”
“Trying to figure things out.”
“But I’m kind of starting to like you. A lot. And I’m not sure that’s safe.”
He understood why she was guarded, but he was determined to prove to her that she could trust him.
Leaning in, he kissed her slowly and thoroughly. “I know you have to get back to your patients, but I really want to finish this conversation later. So what do you say? Will you spend the night with me?” Before she could object, he raised his hand. “I’m not asking you to have sex with me. I’m asking you to spend the night in my arms, nothing more.”
Wild One (Summer Rush #5) Page 5
