by Marie James
“Want to tell me what’s really going on?”
“Huh?” Playing dumb has never been my style, and as much as I want to tell him everything, I know it’ll only damage our friendship more. Only in a perfect world would declaring my love for Molly end in a bro-hug and a simple threat to treat her right.
Our world is nowhere near perfect. Most days we’re just lucky to be alive, and as Lynch glares at me from the head of the table, I wonder just how many more days I’ve got left.
“TJ tells me Molly quit her job.”
Here we fucking go.
“What’s going on with her and the vet?” he asks when I don’t respond to his non-question like he expects me to.
“I think that’s over.”
“Did he hurt her?”
My blood boils, jaw clenching several times before I answer. “No.”
“I think I’m going to get Zoe to help her find a boyfriend,” he says almost absently, and I’m grateful that he’s pulled his eyes from me to look down at his phone. “I need to get her away from the clubhouse. The last fucking thing I need right now is her ending up with some fucking biker. Ronan told me that the new prospect behind the bar has been chomping at the fucking bit to get to her.”
“I’ll take care of it,” I assure him as I stand so abruptly the chair scrapes on the concrete floor.
“You’ll leave him alone. We can’t go around killing every fucking guy whose dick thinks about taking her for a ride.”
My nails dig into the already scarred tabletop.
“I need her out of this fucking place. Maybe someplace overseas,” he says absently as he continues to look at something on his phone.
“Where we can’t protect her?” I seethe. “She’s safest here.”
Now his eyes lift to mine. “Really? You’re so fucking distracted with something, you can’t even be bothered to think when a simple request comes across your phone, but you want me to think she’s protected?”
My lip twitches with the need to tell him she’s more protected than anyone else at this clubhouse, especially when she’s with me.
“We couldn’t even protect that fucking girl last night.” He stands, pounding his fist on the fucking table so hard his phone jumps from the vibration. “A woman got hurt here! I won’t fucking allow it to happen to my sister!”
“Molly is safe,” I vow, not even bothering to pull my eyes from him. Shit will come to blows right here and right fucking now before he sends her away. “And she isn’t fucking going anywhere.”
His eyes narrow with my challenge, but I make it out of the room and out the front door of the clubhouse without getting shot in the back. As I climb on my bike, I wonder if I’ll even be welcome if I return.
Chapter 33
Molly
Just like the first five times today, I ignore the knock on my bedroom door.
This time, whoever it is, doesn’t just walk away, and I turn to glare when my door is pushed open.
“Leave me alone,” I grumble when Zoe sticks her head in the crack.
“You’ve been up here alone all damn day. Care to tell me what’s eating you?”
Without being invited, she steps inside my room before closing the door behind her and joins me on my bed.
“What happened last night?”
“You know I don’t know.”
“You didn’t ask Lynch?”
“He told me it was club business, and wouldn’t say more, but whatever it is, it’s big. He was pissed. Like really pissed.” She sighs and leans back against my pillows. “Then he was really weird this morning when he got back from church. He told me I needed to find you a guy or—”
She stops, mouth clamped shut.
“Or what?” She doesn’t answer. “Tell me.”
“He mentioned sending you away. He said there was too much shit going down, and you weren’t safe here.”
“Not safe?” I huff indignantly. “He’s the only one I need to worry about.”
“Lynch wouldn’t hurt you.”
“He’d hurt Briar.” I glare at her, challenging her to deny it. “Hurting him would hurt me.”
“I’ve told you time and time again to talk to him about what’s going on between you two.”
What’s going on between us? Hell, I don’t even know if there is an us after the way he dismissed me last night.
“I want to,” I confess. “But I’ve texted him a hundred times today, and he won’t text me back. Whatever happened last night made him pull away. I think he’s made his choice, and he’s chosen the club. Not me.”
“If that’s the case,” she clasps my hand in hers, “then you deserve someone better.”
I can’t help the laugh that escapes my throat. She doesn’t have a damn clue. She’s so caught up in my brother, deciding to forget what happened to her down in the damn basement not too long ago, that she’s choosing to ignore what really happens around here when someone in the MC feels betrayed.
This is club life, not fairy tales and happy endings. In this life, the girl doesn’t always get the guy. More times than not the guy ends up dead, and the girl is just expected to go on like he never existed.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” I mutter. “There’s nothing fucking funny.”
I pull my hand from hers, hating anyone’s touch that isn’t Briar’s.
“Don’t be this way to me.”
I hate the pain in her voice, but at the end of the day, none of this is about her.
“I just want to be alone.”
“I think being alone is the last thing you need.”
I’m close to snapping, and she doesn’t even realize it. I wonder if wrapping my hands around her throat or meeting her face with my fist will make her realize that not everyone gets the guy. She’s the lucky one right now, but her luck could change. Any business meeting could leave her alone. One angry person in my brother’s life could put an abrupt end to every dream, fantasy, and plan she’s made with him.
The only difference in Lynch and Briar is that no one in the club would turn on my brother, but Briar’s back is against the wall and no matter the decision, to talk or stay quiet, still ends the same way.
“We should go to the clubhouse, gather the girls, and have ourselves a spa day.”
It only takes a second for me to crush the hope in her voice.
“I don’t want a fucking spa day.” I don’t bother to hide the anger in my voice. “I don’t want you in my fucking room. I asked you to leave.”
Her face falls when I turn in her direction.
“Do I need to make that happen?”
“Molly—”
“Now,” I hiss.
I’m so upset with everything else going on, I don’t even have the energy to feel bad when I hear her sniffle as she crosses my room. The door snaps closed with her own frustration.
“Oh hey,” I hear on the other side. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.”
“You’re not,” Lynch insists, and my doorknob turns. “I won’t have her treating you this way.”
I stand from my bed, ready to tell him everything. I fear the worst as it is. Briar hasn’t texted back, and I know his silence, as well as his rejection last night, has everything to do with him. I’m not one to hurt myself, but I’m not above threatening it if Lynch refuses to listen to reason.
“Leave her alone. She’s hungover from last night. She’s just in a crappy mood. After some sleep, she’ll be okay.”
“Zoe?”
“I’m tired, baby. Take me to bed.”
My door remains closed, and I feel like a coward for falling back onto my mattress rather than throwing my door open and making him listen to me.
The night drags on, and another dozen text messages go unanswered. I give in to my worried exhaustion and turn out my bedside lamp. It’s been hours since Zoe met Lynch in the hall, and I can’t even hear the muffled music from the clubhouse. They must’ve shut things down early tonight.
I’m right on the cusp of unconsciousness when my door opens. It closes, darkness wrapping around me once again before I can see who has come inside, but familiar heavy breaths and the earthy scent of the man I love engulf me as he climbs in my bed.
He stops me when I move to turn over.
“Where have you been all day?”
“Out.”
“You didn’t answer my texts. I’ve been so worried.”
“I don’t want to talk right now,” he whispers against my neck. “Just let me hold you.”
His breaths calm, transforming into a soothing, rhythmic cadence, but sleep still eludes me.
“I want you to listen to me.” I jolt in his arms, startled that he’s still awake.
“Please don’t tell me goodbye,” I beg. I have no idea if that’s what he’s planning to say, but he has to know that leaving will destroy me.
“Things are volatile right now.”
“Tell me what’s going on.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Please,” I beg again. “Don’t say it.”
My shoulders tremble, sobs taking over my body.
“Baby,” he soothes, but even his attempt at calming me won’t work right now. “You asked me weeks ago if you were worth dying for.”
I cry even harder, the tears rushing down my face so fast I don’t even bother to wipe them away.
“You are, Molly. I’d die a thousand deaths to have you, to keep you safe.”
“I am safe.” If he starts in on that shit about hurting me again, I’ll lose my fucking mind.
“I’m not.”
The two words chill me to the bones.
“Lynch?”
“He’ll never allow it, and I can’t stay here and not have you.”
He is leaving. The determination in his voice is surer than the day he paced at the foot of my bed after kissing me in the hallway.
“We can run together.”
“No.”
“I can’t stay here without you.”
The threats of self-harm come to mind again, but I’d never do that to Briar, and as much as being without him will hurt me, I’d still never hurt myself.
“It’s not for forever.”
My body stills.
“I’ve got to get away, find someplace that’s safe for both of us. I’ll send for you,” he vows, and for a split second I almost believe him, but I know better.
He’s preparing me to wait forever, because the alternative, what’s really going to happen is unfathomable. He’s trying to spare me the grief.
“He’s going to kill you.” I fight his grip on me until I can turn in his arms. His eyes are squeezed tight, his lips a flat line even when I reach up to kiss him. “He’ll have to kill me, too.”
His eyes open, blue pools filled with resignation and pain staring back at me.
“I’m leaving.”
“You’d never leave the club. It’s your life.”
“You’re my life. I don’t need them if I have you.”
Even in his warm arms, cold seeps into my soul.
His words are blasphemous. If any Ravens Ruin member heard him speak those words, Lynch wouldn’t bat an eye before stringing him up in front of everyone for the betrayal. Even if there’s a good chance he’s made the same vow to Zoe, he’d never give anyone else the same allowance.
“He’ll kill you for that.”
He doesn’t flinch.
“He’ll kill me for what we’ve already done. Leaving tonight is our only chance. I’ll send for you.”
His lips brush my nose before he draws me in closer. I listen to his lies. I try to convince myself that things will be okay, that Lynch won’t send every member of the club after him when he rides away.
In the darkness with his arms holding me tight, I let sleep take over. Little do I know he’ll never even make it off the property.
Chapter 34
Briar
I lied to her last night, and I can’t help but feel guilty as I brush my lips against her cheek. Leaving her like this is the hardest thing I’ll ever do.
I expect the pain washing over me and the burn in my gut telling me to turn around and hold her just a few minutes longer.
What I don’t expect, is a fist to make contact with my face the second I step out of her room.
Well, that’s another lie. I knew this day would come, I’d just hoped for a little more time.
I don’t even fight them as they wordlessly fit a bag over my head. They don’t make threats. Intimidation and fear will come shortly. I already know how this day will end.
After they drag me down the stairs, the cool morning air engulfs me only for a minute before another set of stairs lead me to my fate. The dank basement always smells like bleach tinged with copper. The DEA would have a year’s worth of work if they ever came down here with their magic spray and a couple of black lights. So many people have died down here that they’d be hard pressed to separate each set of DNA left behind. Mine will only add to the problem.
I’m lifted, hands tied behind my back before the mask is removed.
“You don’t seem shocked, Brother.”
TJ’s cold, dead stare penetrates me as Lynch wraps his heavy rope around my neck.
“Aren’t you going to explain?” TJ asks.
“Will it make any difference?”
Lynch’s fists slam into my stomach, and it takes all I have not to teeter off of the wooden crate and end things before they even begin. The pain shooting through me makes me aware that the fist outside of Molly’s room was TJ’s. No one hits as hard as Lynch, and he’s got the fury of a man betrayed when he strikes me again on the chin.
“I told you she was off limits.”
TJ’s chuckle echoes around us when Lynch pulls back, giving me only a moment’s reprieve before hitting me again.
“How do I keep every man in the club from going after her if my own goddamned VP can’t keep his filthy hands off her?”
“Who told you?” I manage to sputter. It’s not that I need an explanation, I just need to make sure that Molly wasn’t the one who spilled the news. She may suspect what happened today after I’m gone, but I don’t want her to know for sure. If this little meeting is coming on the tail end of her confession to Lynch, they won’t be able to hide the truth.
“She’s used her fucking keycard more than once to go into your room.” Lynch hits me twice more.
My knees weaken making my boots wobble the crate under me. Stiffening, I try to stand taller. I know what’s coming, but giving up isn’t an option.
“She was in there over three hours the other night,” TJ adds as he pulls his knife from his belt. Even with only the single light hanging from the ceiling, it manages to seek and glint off the metal in his hands.
“Have you been inside my baby sister?” Lynch’s face distorts in disgust as he asks the question.
“S-she isn’t a baby,” I foolishly stammer.
The only blood I can smell now is my own as it clogs my nose, forcing me to take shallow breaths from my mouth.
Four hits in rapid succession, all of them to my ribs, are Lynch’s response.
“Have you been inside of my sister?” He growls each word slowly, and in my barely conscious state, I’m grateful he enunciates each one.
“I haven’t fucked her.”
His face twists up, shock at my truth clouding his eyes before he snarls again.
“I didn’t ask if you fucked her.” TJ stands a little taller on the other side of the room, and I know he’s chomping at the bit to get his turn. “Have you been inside of my sister?”
Silence surrounds us, the echo of nothing but my boots trying to hold on the only periodic sound.
“This will go a lot faster if you just fucking tell the truth,” TJ says in a bored tone, but I know better.
“I-I’ve been—She’s had her mouth on me.” Another hit to the face. “I’ve had my mouth on her.”
TJ winces, or at least I think he does. My
left eye is swelling shut, and my right eye leaks with tears of regret for not holding her just a few more minutes, not kissing her again. I’m going to die today, and I’ll do it without knowing what she feels like from the inside.
Everything we shared was worth what I have coming, but the heartache I’m feeling from not being able to spend a lifetime with her will be an agony I’ll suffer forever in hell. I’m sure of it.
The pounding in my ears grows louder, and it isn’t until I hear TJ curse and look over his shoulder in the direction of the stairs that I realize someone is pounding on the door.
“Let me in!”
My strength is renewed at the plea in Molly’s voice, and even this close to death, I want to yell and tell her to stop, or she’ll hurt her hands. She shouldn’t suffer an ounce of pain because I couldn’t keep my greedy hands to myself.
“Why?” My eyes snap back to Lynch. “Why did you do this?”
I shake my head, but the rope scratching the tender skin of my neck is a brutal reminder that I don’t have much time.
“Please.”
“Don’t beg me now, Brother. Tell me why you went against a strict order.”
“Tell her I betrayed you.” His eyes widen in surprise. “Tell her I betrayed the club. Tell her I did something worse than l-love h-her.”
My last words come out on a sputter, the emotion too strong to hold it in any longer. Tears burn my injured eye, but the pain is nothing compared to the hollowness in my chest at the thought that she’ll blame herself. I’ll be gone without her knowing that even though she’s the one who came on to me, even though she’s the one who pushed me into action, it would’ve happened soon anyway. I was losing my mind with needing her, with loving her and not being able to tell her or show her how I felt.
I’ve been sick with it for the last year and a half. She never saw me outside her dorm or on campus the dozens of times I watched her. She’ll never know I drove two hours round trip just to watch her leave her building to walk to class. She’ll never know that my happy place, my wildest dream was to just be able to hold her, to kiss her lips at will. I had already given up on the idea of sex. I didn’t need that. I just needed her.
“Swear to me, Brother,” I beg with a cough because the rope is tighter now.
