~~~~~
Endah however was becoming weaker and increasingly confused. As the daughter who was still unattached, Melati took on more responsibility for looking after her mother.
Melati had found in Lela a kindred spirit and the two girls helped each other look after their sick parents. Today, in the kitchen Lela was helping Melati make a meal for Endah.
“I’m so sorry Mel,” said Lela gently, holding Melati’s hand. “I never knew she wanted you to marry Agung.”
“I’m sorry you heard.. Mother sometimes talks about it.. But don’t tell anyone else,” said Melati, trying to hold back her tears. “Mother is confused about everything now.. Some days she doesn’t know who we are – until we remind her - and then she forgets again.”
Thinking now about the discomfort of her friend, Melati said:
“I didn’t want to marry Agung anyway.”
“I’m sorry honestly - we didn’t know about this when we came to Likupang.”
“Nobody knew – she only said it to me.. But I didn’t want Agung.”
“You’re so young – there is plenty of time,” Lela said. “I don’t think I want to marry any man, but I know it’s difficult. Our father is getting weaker – and he’s worried about his daughters.”
“You look after Eko so well.”
“My mother looks after him most - and Ly and Raj.”
“Do you think Lyana wants to marry Agung?” Melati asked quietly, hoping somehow for a negative answer, even though she had seen how they were with one another.
Lela hesitated, finding it difficult to give a response to her friend’s probing question.
“I don’t think he’s asked her.”
“But if he did – do you think she would?”
“Ly loves him very much.. Yes, she wants to marry him.”
Melati felt as if the ground on which she stood was about to open up and swallow her. Agung would not be hers. Why had she not done something earlier to encourage him? Now she felt that she could never compete. How could she?
“Are you feeling alright?” asked Lela, putting her hands under Melati’s forearms. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, Lela – it’s just the worry of everything.”
“Mel – you can say it to me.”
“How do you feel?” Melati asked, putting both her hands into Lela’s, trying to deflect any further scrutiny. “Do you like Agung?”
“He’s a good man. He looks after us very well. Yes, I like him.”
“Do you think he’s good looking?”
“He’s very strong - and yes, he’s good looking.. Mel, you’re so beautiful and so young that you can choose any..” but then Lela hesitated. “We should be able to choose - when we want to – if we want to.. But it’s the men that choose..”
Lela’s voice became distressed as she opened up:
“Why do men think we want them!? They only want us for one thing – to put their smelly bodies on us and have their way. It’s for their satisfaction, not ours. It’s easy for them! They put their things in our bellies and we get pregnant – we have to swell up and have babies!”
Sobbing now in Melati’s arms, Lela went on:
“We had a sister Mel – I remember her in Bitung – Her name was Aanjay, I loved her so much.. And we were young.. They killed her – the men – the men took her – they did it to her - put their things in her.. She didn’t ‘want’ them!”
Shocked and dismayed at Lela’s outburst, Melati wept too, hugging her weeping friend.
“Some men are not like that,” she said, somehow finding the strength to offer comfort. “My brothers, Rukma and Andhy are not like that.. Agung’s not like that.”
“I’m sorry Mel – for saying all this.”
“That’s alright – I’m sorry for what happened.. I wish it was better - it’s best that you show your feelings, isn’t it?”
Composing herself, Lela started to wipe away the tears.
“But you shouldn’t have heard all that.. You’re right my father and Raj are not like that.. They’ve looked after us.. Agung saved us from the bad men.”
Melati was quiet for a few moments.
“It’s difficult to trust them Lela.. But there are good men.”
“I’ll try to remember, Mel.. But we must protect ourselves too.”
The Tropical Sun - Belief, Love and Hate Page 31
