by V. K. Powell
“I think we should get together and talk about it first. I left a message at your home, but you didn’t return my call. Can we meet for drinks after work? Please, honey, I’ve missed you.”
Helen’s sultry voice was the definition of phone sex. In spite of her best attempts at control, Alex felt herself responding. She closed her eyes and was back in the elevator in Helen’s apartment building five years ago, Helen’s hands cupping her breasts, teasing her nipples into pinpoints of erection and that exquisite mouth and tongue working feverishly between her legs, licking and sucking the life out of her one pleasurable morsel at a time.
“Alex…are you still there?”
Alex’s nails dug into the flesh of her palms. Summoning darker memories of her drunken ex, she regained her composure. “No, Helen, I won’t meet you for drinks. Just have your people at the meeting on time.”
Before Helen had a chance to snare her in further with her verbal foreplay, Alex dropped the receiver noisily in its cradle and scooted her chair back. Plopping her feet on the corner of the desk, she took a deep, relieved breath. Afternoon sun spilled into her office through the antiquated metal crank windows around the room. Its warmth induced another wave of sleepiness and Alex let her thoughts retreat from the bitterness of Helen to take sanctuary in Keri.
An authoritative knock on the door disrupted her musings and she dropped her feet to the floor, calling, “Come in.”
The face she couldn’t dislodge from her mind appeared around the corner of the door. “Your secretary wasn’t in. Am I disturbing you?”
Disturbing was certainly an interesting way to describe the jolt of excitement that ran through Alex at the sight of Keri Morgan. Her pulse escalated and heat rose to the surface of her skin. She remembered the caress of Keri’s breath on her face as they’d almost kissed and involuntarily licked her lips.
“No.” Alex motioned for Keri to take one of the chairs in front of the desk. She was thankful for the physical barrier between them. “What can I do for you, Officer Morgan?”
Keri hesitated. It had been too long since those amazingly deep brown eyes gazed into hers. The last time, Keri knew what she’d seen in them and knew Alex had seen the same yearning in her. Now she was mesmerized by the slight upward curve at the corners of Alex’s mouth. She couldn’t explain the simultaneous feelings of disbelief and exhilaration for the woman she’d once considered her archenemy. She didn’t understand when she’d begun to see Alex Troy differently, when her feelings started to change. And more importantly, she wasn’t sure what, if anything, it meant.
“I tried to tell you last night.” She flushed with the memory of Alex’s lips so close to hers. “I’ve made a decision about the task force assignment.”
Alex held her breath as her pulse pounded deafeningly in her ears. She started to send up a silent prayer for the answer she wanted but realized she was no longer sure what that was.
“I’d like to be on the task force, if it’s not too late.” Even as she said the words, Keri questioned her own motives. She wanted the chance to prove herself in Narcotics, but now, perhaps just as much, she wanted to figure out this enigma that was Lieutenant Alex Troy. Walking away was no longer an option, professionally or personally.
Alex released a long breath, unsure if she felt defeat at having to accept Keri on the team or relief that she would now have a legitimate excuse to spend more time with her. The quiver of arousal in her core hinted at an answer she wasn’t ready to acknowledge. “The last time we spoke, you had serious reservations.” Amazed that her voice sounded even, she asked, “Have you resolved your concerns?”
“I’m not sure anything has been resolved.” Keri sat back in the chair and crossed her jeans-clad legs, muscles bulging along their length in a seductive dance of invitation. “All I know is that I very much want a chance to work on the team.”
“And what about our history—the investigation—can you let that go? This case is too important to let personal feelings get in the way.” Alex felt hypocritical as the annoying ache between her legs persisted just being in close proximity to the young woman.
Keri wanted to be honest and reassure Alex, but words failed under the searching look Alex was giving her across the desk. Something in her expression tugged at Keri’s heart and in that moment, she ached to give Alex whatever she seemed to be asking for, if only she could be sure what it was. Alex cleared her throat, obviously awaiting an answer. Of course, Lieutenant Troy was all about business. Anything else Keri wanted to read into her stare was all about her own tangled-up fantasies and sexually deprived libido.
Alex continued, “I want us to have a very clear understanding about this. If you’re willing to put the past behind us, I’m willing to move forward, to start fresh.”
“All I really want is to be treated fairly,” Keri said. “If you can promise that, I promise I’ll put everything else behind me.” Keri wondered if she would ever be able to leave the memory of Alex’s touch behind. The thought of it heated her flesh still.
Alex studied Keri’s expression and body language for signs of deception. Seeing none, she said, “Good, it sounds like we agree.”
“Great. When do we start?” Keri’s eyes sparkled with enthusiasm.
In spite of her best efforts to stay focused on work, Alex wished she was the reason for that glimmer of excitement. But now that the deal was done, she had no choice but to put thoughts like those out of her head and do what she did best—run a professional, focused investigation.
“The first meeting is here in the morning at ten hundred hours. At that time we’ll make the assignments and develop a game plan.” The usual ease with which Alex shifted into supervisory mode was disrupted by a nagging thought. She was now the one who would decide how deeply involved Keri became in the case, who would place her in harm’s way. Only she would be ultimately responsible if anything happened to her. A shiver ran up Alex’s spine as the realization fully registered. “To protect and serve” suddenly took on a whole new meaning—a personal one with the highest stakes of her career.
“Keri, this case could prove dangerous. We’ve already tied the deaths of several coeds to the same batch of street drugs, and there’s the possibility that Stacey Chambers’s death may also be connected. If we can prove the bad ecstasy is coming from Sonny Davis, we’ll have a good chance of indicting him on more than just drug charges. But in order to do that, we need much more evidence.”
“It sounds like you’re trying to talk me out of this before we even get started.” Keri cocked her head to one side and gave Alex a mischievous grin. “I’m not afraid of hard work, and you’ve already seen that I don’t scare easily. Not administratively and not on the street.”
Keri’s point was clear. She hadn’t backed down in the past, or during the hostage call. Alex could respect that determination; in fact, she intended to use it. Keri could turn out to be quite an asset in an investigation like this. Already Alex’s mind raced at the possibilities. She’d ruled out infiltration so far, but having a beautiful young woman on the team could change that equation.
“I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting into,” Alex said.
“I do, Lieutenant, and I’m in all the way. I’ve developed some pretty good informants. We might be able to use one of them.”
“We’ll have to evaluate that possibility as we go along. But I’ll keep it in mind.”
“Okay then, guess I’ll see you in the morning.”
Keri rose and extended her hand. Alex smiled at the irony. This was the first time Keri Morgan had offered to shake her hand first. She clasped the younger woman’s hand in hers. The sensation of their flesh pressed together dispatched surging pulses of heat into her body. Time seemed to crawl as each nerve registered Keri’s presence. Then like lightning the moment was gone and their hands slid reluctantly apart.
As Keri turned to leave, Alex watched the rise and fall of her perfectly shaped ass, already wishing for tomorrow.
&nb
sp; *
Hours later Alex still couldn’t evict Keri from her thoughts or her body. The restless stirring of her senses made her shift uncomfortably in the leather chair opposite Norman Smith, her family’s lawyer. She glanced around at the diplomas and certificates that cluttered the paneled walls, then tried again to focus on the gray-haired man seated across from her. Norman Smith had been a fixture in her family as long as she could remember. The least she owed him was her complete attention.
“I know this is difficult, but unfortunately, the world doesn’t slow down when terrible things happen,” he said. “It’s been almost a year and some matters need your attention. As the only child, you’re sole beneficiary to your parents’ estate.”
“Yes, that’s fine.” Alex interrupted. She’d already had enough to deal with today. Having her parents’ lives reduced to a stack of legal mumbo-jumbo gave her cold chills.
She supposed emotional trauma over finalizing her parents’ affairs was inevitable, and Norman was right: she’d delayed the process long enough. But every box of papers she opened contained more memories and pain she was not ready to face. Her parents’ tidy preparations for the future made Alex all too aware of her failure to enjoy the present. Grief began to choke her and tears stung her eyes.
“What about the company?” Norman asked. “Have you given any thought to what you want? There’s the parent company here in the States and several foreign subsidiaries. I can help with a sale if you wish. I’ve already had inquiries.”
“I can’t decide that right now.” Alex took a deep breath. “Whoever’s been running it for the last year seems to be doing fine. Let them do it a while longer.”
For most of her childhood Alex had believed her parents ran a simple computer store. They’d tried to convince her to come into the business with financial incentives and properties before she joined the police department, but Alex wanted to make her own way. Their privately owned corporation, the Trojan Horse, handled all facets of high-tech surveillance, from basic night-vision equipment to advanced satellite components. The clientele spanned the globe. Then as now, Alex had been unable to imagine herself doing anything but the job she loved. But selling the business her parents spent their lives building didn’t seem like an option at this point, either. It was too soon and too final.
“Don’t wait too long,” Norman said. “Your parents were dear friends of mine and I just want to make sure their daughter is taken care of.” He paused as if waiting for his comments to register. “I assume you’re keeping the house. The title and insurance have been transferred into your name. What about the cars? Do you want to keep them?”
A lump formed in Alex’s throat. She’d never considered returning to her parents’ home, but now it belonged to her. Her infrequent visits the past year had barely been enough to keep cobwebs from forming in the corners. It felt like her parents’ lives were being disassembled piece by piece and she was being asked to dispose of them. Her knowledge of the business was insufficient to make such important decisions at this point. But her childhood home and all its memories would also have to wait. “I’m not ready for all this.”
Norman shuffled through the stack of papers in front of him, pulled one out, and continued, “There are also the other properties to consider, in addition to the business. The two vacation homes, various real estate investments locally, and a sizeable stock portfolio.”
“But hasn’t everything been going along fine for the past year? The company seems to be doing well from the quarterly statements I receive. The vacation homes are being properly maintained as they were before, and the other real estate properties are currently occupied by long-standing tenants. So what is the urgency today, Norm?”
“The stock investments are due for rollover soon, and with all the recent market fluctuations it’s time for a portfolio review. You could leave it in place or reinvest it in something else. Whatever you decide, we’re on a two-day deadline and I’ll need your signature to make it happen.”
“Fine, just let it ride, if there’s no penalty involved. I don’t need any huge influxes of cash anytime soon.” She signed the proffered form and pushed her chair back from the desk.
“There is one final thing,” Norman added. “The board of directors meeting is next month. I think you need to be there. The CEO and board have been doing a great job running the show, but they need to know the company is still important to the principal shareholder, and that’s you.”
“I’ll give it some thought. Everything else can wait.” Alex rose stiffly from the chair, shook hands with the lawyer, and took the probate documents from him. “I’ll read all this and make some decisions. Just give me a few days, okay? And thank you for everything you’ve done for my family, Norm.”
Norman walked her out to the elevators. He seemed a little more relaxed than when she arrived. Some of the tightness around his mouth had disappeared, but Alex knew the heavy creases in his forehead were only one sign of the gravity he attached to his responsibilities to her family. Alex thanked him again for being patient and for the care he’d taken with her parents’ affairs. As she rode down, she realized she had finally moved from disbelief to a form of acceptance. Her parents were gone. The finality she’d refused to accept until now washed through her.
She sat in her old Mercedes coupe outside the lawyer’s office for a while. Her throat felt raw as a sickening feeling clawed its way up. Her eyes watered and stung, blurring her vision. She pounded her fists on the steering wheel as tears streamed down her face. It was the first time since the funeral she’d allowed herself to cry, and the timing couldn’t have been worse.
There were too many responsibilities, too many things demanding her time and energy. Entirely too many to waste time crying. But the feelings continued to bubble up and spill over. She’d stuffed them down, avoided them, ignored and denied them for too long.
“But why now?” Alex asked aloud, wiping her eyes on her shirt sleeve. “I don’t have time for a nervous breakdown.” Something her father said years ago came to mind: “You have to grieve your loss to embrace the future.” The tears began anew and she let them fall.
She thought about her mother’s perfectionist expectations and her father’s tenderness, constant encouragement, and acceptance of all things Alex. They’d only asked one thing of her, and that was to be happy. And it was the one thing Alex couldn’t give them.
It should be easy. Find your passion and the person who makes it all worthwhile and live. Right? Law enforcement was definitely her niche, but the personal component proved more elusive. The thought of disappointing her parents brought another round of soul-tearing sobs.
“I miss you so much.” She slammed her palms against the roof of the car. “I don’t know what to do about all this.”
She didn’t know if it was the business, loneliness, feeling like an orphan, or the feelings suddenly surfacing around Keri that upset her most. Alex buried her face in her hands and rubbed the tears from her eyes. She shook her head and hammered the lid shut on her emotions once again. Life needs my attention. I can’t fall apart.
She drove home mechanically and pulled into her driveway, scanning the street out of habit. With her keys already in hand, she walked to the house, unlocked the door, and went inside. Her living room was more welcoming now that she had decorated with some memorabilia of her parents’ lives. A picture of her parents occupied the focal point on the entryway table. Every day now she looked at them, celebrated their lives, and vowed to live hers more fully. She felt comfortable among their things and appreciative for the physical connection to her parents.
She knew Norman was right. It was time for her to take the responsibilities her parents had entrusted to her and make the decisions they would have expected. But the investigation was heating up and she needed to stay focused for a few more days. After that, she’d deal with the estate and everything else that seemed so splintered in her life at the moment.
Alex dropped into her father’s old le
ather recliner and picked up the rotary phone. She dialed the number and waited for the familiar, soothing voice.
“Hello?”
“Wayne, it’s Alex.”
“Alex, it’s good to hear your voice. We haven’t talked, other than at work, for months.”
Alex mentally kicked herself. “I know. I’ve been a terrible friend.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant I’ve missed you. I know you have a lot going on right now. And I also know when you’re hurting, you work that much harder.”
“You know me too well.” Secretly, she was glad. Wayne Thomas reminded her of her father in so many ways. They were both strong and supportive but gentle and intuitive, especially when it came to her. Wayne supervised her in Narcotics and mentored her toward a more politically advantageous position in the department. His advice in matters of the ol’ boys’ club politics had proven invaluable. But it was his support when her parents died that changed their working relationship to friendship.
“So, how’s the assignment coming along?”
They spent the next thirty minutes discussing progress and possible directions the investigation might take. He offered encouragement and advice. She listened to the kindness and acceptance in his voice as he reviewed tactics that, thanks to him, were already second nature to her.
Talking to her friend and mentor helped. She felt more reassured and comfortable about the case. “Thanks for listening and letting me bounce some things off you.”
“No problem. You’ll get this guy. I have faith in you.”
“You’re good for my ego. Don’t stop.” Alex hesitated.
Wayne’s voice softened. “You’re really missing them tonight, aren’t you?”
Alex exhaled a long breath. “Yeah, I am. Sometimes I just feel like I failed them.” She wanted her parents to be proud.
“You know your parents just wanted you to be happy. Remember, your father used to say that real living wasn’t based on the size of a bank account or a successful career. It was based on love and commitment.”
