by D B Steward
But even though she tried hard, she couldn’t recapture that feeling. So she kept chasing the feeling of a win while also adding alcohol to try and dull the craving. Soon she was adding cocaine and meaningless sex. During an occasional moment of clarity she could see the path of self destruction she was on. When she was being honest with herself, she didn’t care. She felt she deserved it. Why else had her own mother chosen to abandon her?
If her own mother couldn’t love her, who could?
CHAPTER FIVE
The last time that Kelly saw her mother was emblazoned in her mind. Her parents had sat her down at the dining room table. Her six year old mind assumed that she was in trouble. The only time they ever sat her down like that was when she was about to be punished. She noticed that her parents didn’t look angry. If anything, they looked sad. She tried to remember if she had done anything to make them sad. She saw that they were taking a long time to start talking and that started to make her feel afraid. Her eyes began to burn with tears and her lips started to shake.
Her daddy saw that she was starting to cry. He reached over to her and put his hand on her shoulder. “Hey kiddo, don’t cry. It’s okay.”
She sniffed and tried to stop crying. She wasn’t in trouble, but her mommy and daddy still looked upset. Kelly was confused. They looked sad instead of looking mad. She was hoping her daddy was going to talk again. Somehow he always made everything better when he talked to her. Not like her mommy. Her mommy was nice most of the time, but sometimes she seemed sad and that scared Kelly.
Mommy wasn’t like that all the time. Most of the time she was okay. But there were some days where Mommy was so sad and tired that she stayed in bed all day and didn’t say anything. Then there were days when mommy was so happy that she would do things all day.
They would do things together like paint the kitchen or clean the garage. One time they took a road trip and drove all the way to Green Bay, Wisconsin to see the Packers. When they got there it was nighttime and there was no one around. Her mother wouldn’t get tired and sometimes she would stay up all night doing things around the house. Kelly would try and stay up with her but the sun would start coming up again and she would get so sleepy.
“Sweetheart, sometimes when grown ups are married for a long time they stop being happy and have to stop being married.” Her mother was talking. “They still love each other, but not in a way that they can stay together.” None of that made sense to Kelly. Her parents had always been married. She didn’t know that they could even be anything other than married. It didn’t make any sense.
Her father must have seen that she was confused because he started talking. “That means that mommy and daddy aren’t going to be living together anymore.” Kelly didn’t know why, but what her father said was making her cry. The sadness seemed to be coming from her stomach. It made it hurt like when she ate all those hot dogs one time when her mother slept all day. The tears were pouring out of her eyes. He picked her up and sat her on his lap. “Don’t cry Kiddo, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”
“Where am I going to live now?” She said through tears. She wanted to stay in her room. She wasn’t sure what happened when a mommy and a daddy didn’t live together anymore. “Do I have to go to an orphan house?” She remembered a story her mommy told her. It was about how a kid with no parents had to live in a house with other kids and a mean person. Her father hugged her tight.
“No, no kiddo! You don’t have to go to an orphanage. We are still going to be your parents and you are going to stay here with daddy.” She felt a little bit better now that she wasn’t going to leave her house.
“But where is mommy going to live?” She sniffed real hard but it still sounded like she was crying.
“I’m going to travel around the world!” Her mommy looked happy and she was smiling really big. “Remember how mommy always said she wanted to see the world? Well now I’m going to do it!”
“Why can’t we all go together?” Kelly wanted to go with her but her mother laughed.
“No baby, little kids can’t come on trips like this. You have to stay here with daddy.” Kelly looked at her father while her mother was talking. He looked sad but her mother looked happy, it didn’t make any sense to her.
“I don’t want you to go! Why can’t you stay with us Mommy?” Kelly said through tears. “Don’t you love us anymore?”
Her father answered instead. “Of course she does kiddo. Mommy needs to…” He stopped talking and looked at her mother.
“I need a break for a while.” She smiled and patted Kelly’s hand. “But I’ll be back baby. I promise.” But when Kelly woke up the next morning her mother was gone and Kelly never saw her again.
The hot water rolled down her back. Her head hung under the shower spray and her eyes closed. She hated that memory. Her eyes stung. Whether it was from the water from the shower or tears, she couldn’t tell. Kelly didn’t want kids, she knew she was not mother material.
But even without children of her own, she couldn’t understand how a mother could abandon her own child. Kelly never received a phone call, a birthday card, or a Christmas present in the mail from her mother. She disappeared from their lives. The anguish and the anger she felt for her mother was now ancient but still deeply embedded in her psyche. Way down deep in her soul was a dark place that she never acknowledged. but was aware of its existence, she knew that was the true cause for her self destruction. If her own mother didn’t want her, then who would? If she couldn’t feel the love she was denied from her mother then she would find some form of it wherever she could.
“Jeez, where did all this morbid shit come from?” Kelly shook her head, trying to dispel the dark thoughts from her mind. She knew that if she kept going down that road she would end up passed out in some tavern. That wouldn’t make a good impression on the attractive assassin in the other room. It was far too soon for Sonny to see how much of a hot mess Kelly was.
Kelly decided that she had enough introspection and self evaluation for one day. She finished up her grooming routine and shook her wet red curls in the mirror. With a self deprecating smirk she went out to look for Sonny.
Sonny sat on the couch with her back to her. On the coffee table in front of Sonny was a mat with a disassembled Glock and cleaning tools. She was moving like a robot, muscle memory was in the driver’s seat.
“Didn’t you already clean that gun?” To her credit, Sonny did not flinch at Kelly’s voice. The question had pierced the silence in the room but she continued her work.
“I went out when you were asleep.” She glanced behind her at Kelly. “Or while you were passed out.” She turned back to her work. “I have a locker in Union Station that I keep a gun inside. Among other things. I needed something to do to occupy my hands.” Kelly shook her head in admiration as she came around the couch to sit down in a chair near Sonny.
“You never cease to amaze me girl.” Sonny raised a curious eyebrow. “You’re like Batman.” Kelly laughed. “You have Batcaves all over the place and you’re rich. If I had your money I would live on the beach and drink twenty. Four. Seven.” Sonny sighed and shook her head. “Well, not on a beach.” Kelly continued. “With my Irish skin I would turn into a tomato and then burst into flames after about ten seconds.”
Sonny was unsuccessful with hiding the amused curl of her lip. While she continued to work on her pistol Kelly took the opportunity to study the assassin again. Sonny was too attractive, even with her hair pulled back in a ponytail and no makeup on. At the same time, Sonny could feel Kelly staring at her and felt a flutter in her stomach at the attention.
“Are you going to eat something for breakfast Miss King? Or lunch now, considering the time?”
Kelly waved her hand . “Nah, I usually don’t eat breakfast. I might grab a bag of Cheetos from the vending machine or something.” Sonny looked aghast.
“You don’t eat breakfast? How do you even function?” Kelly laughed.
“Very poorly.”
“Luck and recreational drugs.”
Sonny shook her head. “I suppose you are a medical marvel Miss King.”
CHAPTER SIX
Nancy scrolled through the computer file on MH4. The more she read about the gang, the more her nose wrinkled in disgust. MH4 were responsible for almost half of the cocaine and heroin entering the United States. They had cornered the black market for all the illegal weapons coming in across the southern border. They were savage. Brutal. Nancy considered that she would have had to go after them sooner or later anyway. MH4 had always been a clear and present danger. Even before the assassination of Senator Sanchez and his family. But now they had killed a sitting United States senator. A senator who was well on his way to being the next President of the United States. Before, they had been playing a dangerous game. One against the federal government and its citizens. MH4 made the opening move, but now they were about to feel the full force of the USA.
The unimaginative name MH4 coined by the FBI was the initials of the gang translated into english. The name that they had chosen for themselves was The Four Brothers. Arturo Garcia was the oldest living sibling and thus the de facto leader of the gang. Then there was Angel who was killed about five years ago in some type of turf war in Monterrey. He died before MH4 came into power and claimed control over Mexico’s criminal underworld.
Ramon Garcia, the nastiest of the lot, known as the enforcer among the brothers. Although all the brothers were killers, Ramon was the most brutal. Nancy saw from
the dossier that Ramon was a real monster who did most of the killing for the brothers under the orders of Arturo. Ramon was a real boogeyman down in Mexico. It appeared to Nancy that even some of the other cartels were afraid to cross paths with Ramon. Throughout Mexico it seemed the name Ramon Garcia was only spoken in hushed tones.
Then, finally, there was Hector. He was the youngest Garcia brother and the least powerful in the family. He was about twenty two years old and not trusted with much in the family business. Hector ran the gambling side of the gang. He looked after the cheap barroom casinos in Monterrey. Not very much responsibility for a blood brother, she thought. Timmerman formulated that Hector wouldn’t even be in MH4 if he wasn’t a brother.
Thanks to General England’s order, it was now Nancy’s responsibility to formulate the best way to eliminate the three brothers and castrate MH4. There was little doubt in her mind that her asset, Sonja Moretti, would be capable enough to complete the mission. Moretti was a world class assassin and one of the most dangerous people alive. It was for precisely this reason that they had sought her out and recruited her. Well, recruit was a nicer way of saying that they had captured her and presented her with a choice. Either join her secret government hit squad or face the rest of her life in a dark cell in the middle of nowhere. It was an easy decision to make. But there was a catch to Moretti’s cooperation, Kelly King.
The only variable in the upcoming mission that gave her pause was the presence of Kelly King. Timmerman saw King as an unnecessary distraction. She wished that she could cut the woman loose. But for some unknown reason Moretti wanted to keep her around as a partner. Moretti had been adamant about retaining King. She made it very clear to Timmerman that she would go to prison if Kelly King wasn’t a part of the squad. Nancy could not imagine how King could be of possible use to the best assassin in the world. This was no partnership in Timmerman’s opinion. Kelly King was an ex con loser who had somehow attached herself to the asset like a parasite.
Her team was originally envisioned to include herself, Trace, and the asset. Now she had to deal with Kelly King, an unknown and useless variable in her opinion. She saw Kelly at best as a distraction and at worst a liability.
Some of her contempt for King came from the woman’s history as a dirty FBI agent. She felt that King could not be trusted. Kelly King had taken an oath when she had joined the Bureau and she had betrayed it. If it were up to Timmerman, Kelly King would be back in prison. Couple her substance abuse problems with her criminal past, Timmerman saw Kelly King as a waste of space. But to keep her primary asset happy, it was necessary for Timmerman to tolerate the redhead.
Nancy Timmerman believed in the importance of her team’s mission. The United States had enemies now that the founding fathers could not have imagined in their wildest dreams. Threats existed that the Constitution and the government handicapped her from eliminating them. She felt proud and honored to be able to defend her country in that way. The only way to keep her country safe was to not be hamstrung by politicians who cared more about polls than people. To uphold the laws of the United States, she would have to work outside of them.
Now she had her orders from her superior to kill the leaders of The Four Brothers. And she didn't expect to lose a single minute of sleep over it. They were the worst kind of criminals, flooding the country with drugs and guns. They used extreme violence on anyone they viewed as a threat or obstacle to increasing their wealth and power. Law enforcement, politicians, journalists, private citizens were all in the sights of MH4. Making war on the families of their targets, including their children, was routine for them. Every member of their gang had to have murdered someone to get in the organization. That meant that there were no innocents in the gang. They were all scum that needed to face justice. A perverse pleasure growing inside Timmerman knowing that she was unleashing Sonny Moretti on The Four Brothers. Those motherfuckers were about to feel fire and brimstone rain down on their heads. Courtesy of the United States of America.
Trace loved her job. But she would be damned if she was going to show it. She had access to anything connected to the internet. Thanks to the federal government, the NSA, and DARPA. From protected government servers to smart refrigerators. If it was online, it was hers. Already a tech prodigy, she felt like a kid in a candy store. She was so far ahead of everyone else that on her first day she went to work right away, extending her access far beyond what her position called for. It was child’s play for her to write codes to bypass any security protocol. While at the same time hid her activity from detection.
If the higher ups had a clue of what she was doing she had no doubt that they would lock her away in a hole somewhere miles away from the nearest computer. But she knew they would never find out. Trace was only nineteen years old. But she was already the Michelangelo, Einstein, and Mozart of computers. She was a master and there were no contemporaries to her abilities. At times throughout history, genuine prodigies were born that would revolutionize their field. Trace was one of those people.
As a dark and moody teenager, she did not show her enthusiasm in public. But it thrilled her to know that she was helping to take out scum bags. She was young enough to have a clear vision of right and wrong. An innocence that had not been taken from her yet by the realities of life.
She knew that the people they were going after definitely deserved to be neutralized. MH4 was a boil on the ass of society and she would help to help lance it. They were barbarians that preyed on the weak. It was up to the strong to shepherd the people from wolves like MH4. And Trace considered herself one of the strong.
Trace’s philosophy on life was complicated. She believed that the universe moved toward entropy. Everything existed to decay. So many of the tropes that humanity clung to were futile to model life around. Reality was chaos and any attempt to impose order on it was laughable to her. She believed in justice. People didn’t have the right to take a life or to cause another to suffer. It was the right of every person to live in safety as long
as they respected the same rights in other’s. To her binary way of thinking, life was that simple. Don’t be a dick and she wouldn’t have to be one either.
Causing the suffering of others was not a part of the equation but that was what MH4 was all about. They dealt in the misery of others and that was something that Trace could not a
bide. They came from Mexico and that angered her. Her parents were second generation and were proud of their Mexican heritage. Trace didn’t share their zeal, but she did take it personally that MH4 originated from Mexico. She had never been there, her parents would always talk about how beautiful the country, the culture, and the people were. But there were cartels and gangs that portrayed a negative image of Mexico to the world. Others saw it as a lawless land filled with corruption and drug dealers, and that pissed Trace off. She was going to enjoy taking them down.
