by Banks, R. R.
“I'm so sorry,” she says, “but we're going to have to start closing up.”
I can't deny the sharp sting of disappointment that shoots through me. If I could, I’d sleep here. But, I know it's a memory I’ll cherish forever. My face hurts from how much I've smiled today, and that passion I felt when I was studying at the University of Georgia is burning higher and brighter than ever before.
“Thank you,” I say to Martha.
I pull her into a tight embrace that seems to surprise her. She laughs and hugs me back. When I step back, I look at Aidan and feel my heart turn a somersault when he flashes me that smile. He gives me a knowing look, as if he can see that he's reignited my desire and passion for school.
“Thank you, Martha,” he says in that deep, sexy baritone of his. “I think you did a lot more than you even know.”
“No, thank you, Aidan,” she says. “I do hope we'll see you again sometime soon.”
“Count on it,” he says.
Martha turns and walks away, leaving Aidan and me alone. I turn and watch the manatees gliding through the water and find myself wishing I could jump in and swim with them. Most people think they're ugly creatures, but I find them absolutely beautiful.
“Today has been amazing, Aidan,” I say and turn to him. “Thank you for giving me one of the best memories of my life.”
He kisses me softly and then looks into my eyes. “Thank you, Katie.”
I cock my head and look at him. “For what? I didn't do anything.”
His smile is soft and sad at the same time. “You did though,” he says. “You showed me that life can go on.”
It's a curious statement that has a million questions running through my mind. But, before I can ask a single one, Aidan takes my hand and leads me out of the Aquarium and into the dusky light of the early evening.
* * *
We get back into the hotel room, and I have every intention of throwing him down and fucking him then and there. I'm still riding high after the day we'd just spent together, and want to show Aidan just how thankful I am.
When I step into the room though, I see a dozen or more white boxes with large red bows spread around, along with a large vase containing a dozen long-stemmed roses. I turn and look at Aidan, who's just standing there, leaning against the wall, his hands in his pockets, looking back at me.
“What did you do?” I ask.
He gives me a casual shrug, a small smile playing upon his lips. “Well, I thought I'd take you out to dinner tonight,” he says. “And since I didn't give you a whole lot of notice to pack –”
“You mean no notice,” I say and laugh.
“Yeah, well, I feel bad about that,” he says. “So, I took the liberty of having some dresses sent up for you.”
I look at the array of boxes again and shake my head. This all feels so damn surreal. He rents out the Georgia Aquarium for me? Orders a boatload of dresses for me? Who does that? I almost want to look around for the hidden cameras, sure I'm on some screwed-up reality TV show or something, and some washed-up actor is about to burst out and tell me I've been pranked.
“Go ahead, take a look,” he says.
Numb with disbelief, I cross over to the boxes and open up the first one. Inside is a jade green, vintage-style dress. It's got short sleeves, a scoop neck, and a flared skirt. It's gorgeous. I've never had the money for nice clothes before – certainly never anything as nice as this. I've always made do with thrift store finds and whatnot.
I live very frugally. Always have. I've never had a lot of money for luxurious or nice things. Most of my clothes come from discount stores or second-hand shops. As I touch the fabric of the green dress, admiring how soft it is, the sense of the surreal I’m experiencing only deepens.
“What do you think?” he asks.
“I – it's beautiful,” I say, my voice thick with emotion.
Before I even know Aidan had moved, I feel him standing behind me. His hands are on my shoulders, and he gently turns me around. I stare up at him, my vision blurred, and my eyes stinging with tears.
“What's wrong?” he asks.
“Nothing,” I say and shake my head. “Everything is – perfect. Too perfect.”
His smile is gentle as he plants a soft kiss on my forehead.
“Aidan,” I say. “I can't take these. Between renting out the Aquarium and all of this, I can't even begin to imagine how much money you've spent –”
He cuts me off with a soft kiss on the lips. I know he's trying to distract me, but I'm not going to let him off the hook that easily. When he finally pulls back, I launch straight back into it.
“You can't be spending this much money on me, Aidan,” I say. “I've done –”
“It's my money to spend,” he says, cutting me off. “And I'll spend it however I see fit.”
“Aidan, I –”
“Stop,” he says, putting his finger to my lips. “Let me spoil you, Katie. You deserve it. You've had too much bad in your life. Time to let some good in. You deserve it.”
A lone tear rolls down my cheek, and he wipes it away with his thumb. I've never been spoiled before and don't know how to react to it. It's so far outside the norm for me, so beyond my comfort zone, that I don't know how to take it. I almost feel like I'm taking advantage of him, and that's a feeling I never want either of us to have.
As I stare into his eyes, I feel my insides melting. And I feel my will and resolve disappearing along with it. Aidan leans down and kisses me hard, sliding his tongue into my mouth, nearly stealing my breath away. As our kiss deepens and intensifies, I feel myself begin to ache with need.
I lay the dress back on top of the box as Aidan circles behind me and slides the straps of my sundress off my shoulders. His beard is scratchy against my skin as he lines my shoulders with soft kisses. My dress slips down my body, finally landing in a puddle around my feet. I step out of it and stand before him in nothing but my lacy black panties.
Aidan takes a moment, his eyes roaming up and down, as he admires my body. His gaze is intense, and the air between us thick with sexual tension.
I can see by the look in his eye that he's hungry for me. Never taking my eyes off of his, I slide my panties down, slipping them down my legs before kicking them off. His look of absolute desire never wavers. It never falters.
Aidan steps forward and I reach down, stroking him through his pants.
“I think we need to do something about these, don't you?” I ask.
He gives me a little grin. “Not yet,” he teases. “I’m going to have a little fun first.”
Aidan
I didn't think it was possible for her to ever be more beautiful to me than before, but seeing her pregnant, carrying our child, makes Katie more stunning than ever. She seems to radiate this inner warmth that I can't help but be drawn to. I want her more now than ever.
Her lips are slightly parted and a burning desire is reflected in her bottomless brown eyes as I drop to my knees, trailing the tip of my tongue down her flesh the entire way. She trembles slightly when I part her thighs with my hands, lifting one of her legs up and placing it on my shoulder before turning my attention to her eager pussy.
I savor the sweet taste of her juices as I push my tongue past her velvety folds, causing her to cry out.
“Yes, Aidan,” she whimpers, rocking against me.
I grab her hips and pull her down against my mouth, driving my tongue deeper into her. I feel her body tensing as Katie slowly grinds her hips against my mouth. Her breathing is growing ragged, and her voice hoarse as I caress her with my tongue. Not wanting her to come yet, I pull back and look her in the eye as desire and lust flare across her delicate features. My need to be inside of her is overwhelming.
She watches as I stand up, and suddenly grab a condom from my bag, tearing open the package and slipping it down my length.
I pull her to me, pressing against her belly, her full, round breasts straining against my chest. Her body is soft, her curves – fr
om the swell of her breasts, to the small of her back – entirely feminine. Her tiny frame is dwarfed by mine, only highlighting how delicate she is.
She looks up at me, biting her bottom lip. “I want you, Aidan,” she says. “Please. I need to feel you inside of me.”
Katie weighs almost nothing, so I carefully pick her up and let her wrap her legs around my waist. It's a little awkward, given her belly, but we make it work. She clasps her hands behind my neck, excitement flashing across her face. I move the head of my cock against her wet opening, and slowly thrust my hips upward, driving deep into her. Katie's eyes grow wide, and she draws in a sharp breath as I start to rhythmically thrust my hips, again and again. Katie moans quietly, her nails digging into the flesh of my back.
“I'm going to come,” she moans, her voice thick and husky. “Come with me, Aidan.”
I feel Katie tighten her muscles around me, gripping me tighter, and I lose it, throbbing within the condom inside her. That sets off an explosion of her own, and Katie falls forward, her head pressed against my shoulder, her body trembling as she's overcome with the maelstrom of sensations sweeping over the two of us.
Together, we ride the currents of ecstasy, wrapped in the warm glow of amazing, loving sex.
Slowly, our breathing returns to normal and that post-sex afterglow begins to dim. Katie turns and wraps her arms around me, pressing her lips to mine.
Our kiss is chaste and sweet, and we cling to one another, her head resting on my chest, our bodies pressed close together. I place a soft kiss on the top of her head and squeeze tighter, reveling in feeling her skin against mine. After Maddy, it's a sensation I never thought I'd actually enjoy again.
Katie doesn't realize it, but she's given me a new life. She's helped me to step out of the shadows I've forced myself to live in for the last few years, and walk back into the light.
It's not easy. There are times when the grief and guilt I feel over Maddy still threaten to choke the life out of me. But, for the first time since she died, I'm feeling the stranglehold those emotions have on me beginning to loosen.
I know it's going to take some time for me to fully heal, but this is the first time since losing Maddy it even feels like a possibility.
More than that, it's the first time I find myself not just welcoming that possibility, but openly embracing it.
* * *
“You look stunning,” I say.
“Thank you,” she says shyly, color flaring in her cheeks. “And thank you for these dresses. They're absolutely amazing. You have incredible taste.”
“I just pictured you in them and then picked out what I liked.”
“Well done then, mister.”
She'd picked out the royal blue, vintage maternity dress with the white flower detail to wear for the evening. The dress hugs her curves perfectly, and really accentuates her full, perky breasts, and shows off her blooming belly in the most attractive way. Her hair is set in a simple bun atop her head, but loose strands frame her face, somehow making her already large, doe-eyes seem even larger. She really is breathtaking.
“You don't take compliments well,” I say.
“It's nothing personal,” she says. “I never have.”
“That's a shame,” I say. “You deserve to be told how beautiful you are every single day.”
If her face gets any redder, it's going to look like she suffered a horrible sunburn. The fact that she's so shy and awkward when it comes to taking a compliment is adorable. I don't think Katie realizes just how beautiful she is. Which, if I'm being honest, is part of her charm.
We're sitting in one of my favorite steakhouses in Atlanta – Chuck's Meat. Horrible name, with an even worse slogan – put a little of Chuck's Meat in your mouth – but the food is nonetheless amazing. The place itself has been around forever – practically since Sherman burned Atlanta to the ground. And I can honestly say, I've never had a better steak anywhere.
Though, I'll have to admit, the one I had back in Ashton Mill recently was a close second.
We're eating our salads, and I’m enjoying a nice Pinot Grigio while Katie has ginger ale. We're both famished. It seems that our pre-dinner romp helped us both work up quite the appetite. A couple of minutes later, the waitress arrives with our entrees, setting the plates down, and clearing our salad dishes. The busboy behind her drops off our sides – a loaded baked potato for her, and lobster macaroni and cheese for me.
We dig into our meals, the conversation light, fun, and flowing. Over the last few months, I've found we actually have a lot more in common than I ever would have imagined – despite the eight-year age difference between us.
With our meals done, the waitress clears our plates and brings out a very large slice of red velvet cake slathered with generous amounts of white and dark chocolate frosting – one of Chuck's signature desserts – and cappuccinos.
“I am so stuffed,” she says.
I shrug and give her a little smirk. “I can probably power this down on my own then, if you're not interested.”
She brandishes a fork at me like a weapon, a silly smile on her face. “Don't make me cut you,” she says. “I'll make room.”
I laugh, and we dig into the decadent dessert. Katie's eyes roll back in her head, and she moans with sheer delight as she takes a bite.
“This might be the single best piece of cake I've ever eaten,” she says.
“I thought you might enjoy it.”
She pops a bite into her mouth and chews thoughtfully. She looks at me for a moment, her expression turning a little more serious. It seems like there's something on her mind. She washes the cake down with a drink of her cappuccino.
“Can I ask you a really personal question?” she asks.
“Shoot.”
“You don't have to answer, of course,” she says quickly. “It's just something I've been curious about.”
I have a feeling I know what she wants to ask. It's the one question she hasn't asked since I met her, and the one question everybody asks. The fact that she hasn't asked it has really stood out to me as we've gotten to know each other, and I figured it was only a matter of time before she did. Especially, in light of my behavior and desire to protect her.
Yeah, turns out Davis was right about it, and I'm starting to understand how the two things correlate.
“She was murdered,” I say. “Maddy. My fiancée.”
Katie covers her mouth with her hand, as her eyes widen, and she draws in a shocked breath. She stares at me for a long moment, clearly stunned and not knowing how to respond. I take a sip of my cappuccino and try to push back the sudden avalanche of emotion crashing down inside my head.
“Aidan,” she whispers. “I'm so sorry.”
I give her a tight smile. “Thank you,” I say. “This trip – other than my brother's wedding, is really the first time I've been out in the world since she was killed.”
She reaches across the table and takes my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. She looks distraught at having brought up the painful memory, and like she wishes she could take it back. Strangely enough, I don't though. I'm glad it's finally out there on the table. Maybe, she'll understand me a little better.
Besides, if I'm serious about exploring things with Katie further, I think she should know. It’s an important piece of who I am – or at least, who I've become. And she should know all of my different facets and the things that make me – well – me.
She didn't ask for the story, but I tell her anyway. I spare her the grisly details – nobody needs to know those, and I feel a profound sense of protectiveness about safeguarding Maddy's dignity as much as I can – but I tell her everything. And the strangest thing is, when I finish telling my story – the first time I've really told the whole, uncensored story to anybody, I somehow feel lighter. Like a dark, heavy weight has been somehow lifted off my shoulders. Not completely, of course, but enough that it's noticeable.
Through the whole tale, Katie holds my hand and listens, absorbing my wor
ds. She looks shocked, of course, but more than that, she simply looks sad. Grief-stricken. Her eyes shimmer with tears – for me.
“Aidan, I – God, I don't even know what to say,” she says, her voice barely more than a whisper.
“It's okay,” I say. “There's really nothing to say. I knew you had questions, and I just thought you should know.”
She raises my hand and places a soft kiss on my knuckles, her eyes filled with nothing but warmth and compassion. Something passes between us in that one look – something I haven't felt with her before. It's as if that connection that's been building between us has somehow solidified. Like the missing puzzle piece has just been snapped into place.
I don't know if I'm describing it right or what it even means, but it somehow strikes me as significant. I don't know what to think about it or what to do with it. But then, maybe I don't need to do anything with it. Maybe, I need to let this develop naturally, rather than try to control it.
That's one thing most everybody I know seems to agree on – that I'm a bit of a control freak. It's part of what makes me so good at my job. But, on a personal level, I know it also forces me to try to control everything in my sphere of influence. And it also leads me to shouldering many burdens that don't belong to me.
Like Maddy's death.
Logically, I know there's nothing I could have done to stop her murder, I know that. I've always known that. The problem is, I feel like I should have been able to. I feel like I should have been there. Should have protected her.
And that's because I'm a control freak.
I've always had a hard time accepting that life… just happens. That bad things sometimes seemingly happen at random – that there is no rhyme or reason to the universe. There is nothing you can do to change the outcome, no matter how tightly you hold on to things.
All you can do is control your reaction as things come up.
What I'm learning now, thanks to Katie, is that if you allow yourself to be open, good things can happen too. I never planned on Katie. Never expected her to storm into my life and turn my world upside down. It's just another one of those random, chance occurrences life throws at you – a good one.
