'But what if we have a girl?'
'Then you will look upon her even more gladly, as will I - especially if she is as beautiful as you.'
She sat quietly for a moment as she oriented her face toward me. Then she asked, 'Do you still think I'm beautiful?'
'More beautiful than any woman I've ever seen,' I told her. 'Even Asha and Varda, all the Star People, would envy you.'
She tapped her fingers to her blindfold and said, 'They would not envy me this, I think.'
I reached out to untie her blindfold and pull it away from her. I traced my fingers beneath her brows and across the bridge of her nose, even as my eyes grew warmer and I couldn't help looking and looking. Finally I said, 'A day will come when you will take this off for good. You will see again, Atara.'
She grasped my hand, and pressed it over the front of her face. She said, 'But I see so much now. I see you.'
I listened as the eagle above us let loose its harsh, haunting cry. I said, 'Tell me what you see, then.'
'I see a man,' she said, 'who had lost everything in the world, only to gain the whole world, and more. You are larger now, somehow, inside. Like that impossible stallion you ride. Like the sun. I don't know how your skin can contain you. You are wilder - so willful and wild. And even angrier than before, and you hate Morjin no less. But it is a different force now. It does not rule you. You rule, now. The man I have wanted to be with every hour and with every breath since I first laid eyes upon him: he, who almost died. I see that one, who somehow found a moment of compassion for the vilest of beasts, even though that beast had slaughtered all that he loved.'
'Not all,' I said, squeezing her hand.
'But your mother and grandmother, your beautiful brothers, they -'
'They are here,' I said, pressing her hand to my chest. 'For so long, I kept thinking of them as murdered, dead. But truly, they live.'
I knew she wanted to weep, but at that moment I felt nothing except joy, and so I held her close to me. For a while, she did weep, but soon her soft sobbing gave way to a deeper heaving of her belly as she began laughing with a gladness for life that she could not contain. Finally, she sat back away from me and said, 'There is such a light in you - this beautiful, beautiful light! Kane says it is like a sword; I mould say like the sweetest fire. I've never known anyone to love like you, to live like you, not even Bemossed. The passion. It is what you were born for. Sometimes, I know, I am all ice inside, but when you touch me the way you do, I'm all water.'
She paused to draw in a deep breath, then added, 'And. that is why I love you. And why I will marry you.'
She kissed me, and then laughed for a long time, a delightful sound, like the ringing of the river. Then I could not contain myself. I leaped up, and pulled her up to her feet. I wanted to throw off my tunic and let the wind cool my burning skin. I wanted to fly like flame over the mountains. Why didn't their snow, I wondered, melt when I looked at it? Why didn't Atara gasp out at the fire in my hands when I took hold of her sides? I lifted her off the blanket then. She was a tall woman, large-boned with lithe muscles like a great, tawny cat, and yet I lifted her as if she were a child, and then whirled her through the air as I began dancing about.
After I had set her down, she turned toward me and said, 'I see a bird, Val. Bigger than that eagle that called to us. Bigger even than a dragon. He is a great swan, as silvery as that sword of yours, and he flies toward the stars. Once there, he becomes a star: so big, so bright. And that is my star, whose light I cannot live without.'
For a while, we stood together on the cool grass, arm in arm. We faced the mountains to the east, over which the sun had risen only a few hours before. Beyond the Nagarshath range stretched the bright, emerald grasses of the Wendrush and the beautiful mountains of my home. And beyond that, the sea. All of Ea, it seemed, lay before us. It would have been easy to think that the whole world was ours, existing only for our pleasure, as Morjin thought of things. And the world was ours - but only to love as we loved each other and to protect with our last breath. I did not need to speak of this to Atara. If our marriage was to mean anything at all, it could only be that we must live for something much greater than ourselves.
I reached down to pick the first flower that I could find, and I pressed into her hand.
'Here,' I told her, 'take this as my troth.'
'A dandelion, Val? It is the most common of flowers.'
'Today, no flower in the world is common to me. But what would you have me give you?'
'Only this,' she said, squeezing her hand around the flower. 'You're right - it is perfect.'
'But what would you give to me?'
She sniffed the air and said, 'A star lily, I think. Their fragrance is so sweet.'
I looked about the meadow at the many flowers, and I finally espied one of these lilies, with its long, slender white petals and bright yellow center like a bit of starfire. It grew among some buttercups and fairies' eyes twenty yards away. I moved to step over to it, but Atara laid her hand on my shoulder.
'No,' she told me. 'I must give it to you.'
And with that, she fairly danced across the meadow. Without the slightest hesitation or fumbling, she reached straight down to pick this one, bright flower. She came back over to me, and wrapped my fingers around it.
'This is my troth to you,' she told me.
Then she reached out with a perfect accuracy to wipe the tears running down my face.
'We have so little time,' she said to me. 'It is so peaceful here. Let's He together while we can. I want to feel your heart beating next to mine.'
We returned to our blankets, and threw our cloaks over our thinly clad bodies to cover us. As I held her close to me, I felt her breath upon my face. I knew that she was willing to give herself to me, utterly, as I was with her. But i knew, as well, that this glorious union must wait. I felt no bitterness in this, only an immense anticipation. She pulled me into the warmth of her breasts and her belly, and I could not tell that we were two separate beings, for our hearts beat as one.
Thus we lay for hours on that bright, perfect afternoon, and the whole world seemed to stand perfectly still. At last, however, the earth carried us into the future, as it always did. It grew cold and dark, and the stars came out like millions of tiny white flowers. For a long time, we soared among them. I listened for the voices of those who dwelled there. I did not know if the dead would ever speak to me again. The living, though, and the infinitude of beings waiting to be born, sang out only the most brilliant of songs. Atara and I sang with them, and so did our son, and our voices, like the exultations of angels, filled the night with a fiery and inextinguishable joy.
Appendices
Heraldry
THE NINE KINGDOMS
The shield and surcoat arms of the warriors of the Nine Kingdoms differ from those of the other lands in two respects. First they tend to be simpler, with a single, bold charge emblazoned on a field of a single color. Second, every fighting man, from the simple warrior up through the ranks of knight, master and lord to the king himself, is entitled to bear the arms of his line.
There is no mark or insignia of service to any lord save the king. Loyalty to one's ruling king is displayed on shield borders as a field matching the color of the king's field, and a repeating motif of the king's charge. Thus, for instance, every fighting man of Ishka, from warrior to lord, will display a red shield border with white bears surrounding whatever arms have been passed down to him. With the exception of the lords of Anjo, only the kings and the royal families of the Nine Kingdoms bear unbordered shields and surcoats.
In Anjo, although a king in name still rules in Jathay, the lords of the other regions have broken away from his rule to assert their own sovereignty. Thus, for instance, Baron Yashur of Vishal bears a shield of simple green emblazoned with a white crescent moon without bordure as if were already a king or aspiring to be one.
Once there was a time when all Valari kings bore the seven stars of the Swan Contellation o
n their shields as a reminder of the Elijin and Galadin to whom they owed allegiance. But by the time of the Second Lightstone Quest, only the House of Elahad has as part of its emblem the seven silver stars.
In the heraldry of the Nine Kingdoms, white and silver are used interchangeably as are silver and gold. Marks of cadence - those smaller charges that distinguish individual members of a line, house or family - are usually placed at the point of the shield.
Mesh
House of Elahad - a black field; a silver-white swan with spread wings gazes upon the seven silver-white stars of the Swan constellation
Lord Harsha - a blue field; gold lion rampant filling nearly all of it
Lord Tomavar - white field; black tower
Lord Tanu - white field; black, double-headed eagle
Lord Raasharu - gold field; blue rose
Lord Navaru - blue field; gold sunburst
Lord Juluval - gold field; three red roses
Lord Durrivar - red field; white bull
Lord Arshan - white field; three blue stars
Ishka
King Hadaru Aradar - red field; great white bear
Lord Mestivan - gold field; black dragon
Lord Nadhru - green field; three white swords, points touching upwards
Lord Solhtar - red field; gold sunburst
Athar
King Mohan - gold field; blue horse
Lagash
King Kurshan - blue field; white Tree of Life
Waas
King Sandarkan - black field; two crossed silver swords
Taron
King Waray - red field; white winged horse
Kaash
King Talanu Solaru - blue field; white snow tiger
Anjo
King Danashu - blue field; gold dragon
Duke Gorador Shurvar of Daksh - white field; red heart
Duke Rezu of Rajah - white field; green falcon
Duke Barwan of Adar - blue field; white candle
Baron Yashur of Vishal - green field; white crescent moon
Count Rodru Narvu of Yarvanu - white field; two green lions ram pant
Count Atanu Tuval of Onkar - white field; red maple leaf
Baron Yuval of Natesh - black field; golden flute
FREE KINGDOMS
As in the Nine Kingdoms, the bordure pattern is that of the field and charge of the ruling king. But in the Free Kingdoms, only nobles and knights are permitted to display arms on their shields and surcoats. Common soldiers wear two badges: the first, usually on their right arm, displaying the emblems of their kings, and the second, worn on their left arm, displaying those of whatever baron, duke or knight to whom they have sworn allegiance.
In the houses of Free Kingdoms, excepting the ancient Five Families of Tria from whom Alonia has drawn most of her kings, the heraldry tends toward more complicated and geometric patterns than in the Nine Kingdoms.
Alonia
House of Narmada - blue field; gold caduceus
House of Eriades - Field divided per bend; blue upper, white lower; white
star on blue, blue star on white House of Kirriland - White field; black raven
House of Hastar - Black field; two gold lions rampant
House of Marshan - white field; red star inside black circle
Baron Narcavage of Arngin - white field; red bend; black oak lower; black eagle upper
Baron Maruth of Aquantir - green field; gold cross; two gold arrows on each quadrant
Duke Ashvar of Raanan - gold field; repeating pattern of black swords
Baron Monteer of Iviendenhall - white and black checkered shield
Count Muar of lviunn - black field; white cross of Ashtoreth
Duke Malatam of Tarlan - white field; black saltire; repeating red roses on white quadrants
Eanna
King Hanniban Dujar - gold field; red cross; blue lions rampant on each gold quadrant
Surrapam
King Kaiman - red field; white saltire; blue star at center
Thalu
King Aryaman - Black and white gyronny; white swords on four black sectors
Delu
King Santoval Marshayk - green field; two gold lions rampant facing each other
The Elyssu
King Theodor Jardan - blue field; repeating breaching silver dolphins
Nedu
King Tal - blue field; gold cross; gold eagle volant on each blue quadrant
THE DRAGON KINGDOMS
With one exception, in these lands, only Morjin himself bears his own arms: a great, red dragon on a gold field. Kings who have sworn fealty to him ~ King Orunjan, King Arsu - have been forced to surrender their ancient arms and display a somewhat smaller red dragon on their shields and surcoats. Kallimun priests who have been appointed to kingship or who have conquered realms in Morjin's name - King Mansul, King Yarkul, Count Ulanu - also display this emblem but are proud to do so.
Nobles serving these kings bear slightly smaller dragons, and the knights serving them bear yet smaller ones. Common soldiers wear a yellow livery displaying a repeating pattern of very small red dragons.
King Angand of Sunguru, as an ally of Morjin, bears his family's arms as does any free king.
The kings of Hesperu and Uskudar have been allowed to retain their family crests as a mark of their kingship, though they have surrendered their arms.
Sunguru
King Angand - blue field; white heart with wings
Uskudar
King Orunjan - gold field; 3/4 red dragon
Karabuk
King Mansul - gold field; /4 red dragon
Hesperu
King Arsu - gold field; /4 red dragon
Galda
King Yarkul - gold field; /4 red dragon
Yarkona
Count Ulanu - gold field; 1/2 red dragon
THE GELSTEI
THE GOLD
The history of the gold gelstei, called the Lightstone, is shrouded in mystery. Most people believe the legend of Elahad: that this Valari king of the Star People made the Lightstone and brought it to earth. Some of the Brotherhoods, however, teach that the Elijin or the Galadin made the Lightstone. Some teach that the mythical Ieldra, who are like gods, made the Lightstone millions of years earlier. A few hold that the Lightstone may be a transcendental, increate object from before the beginning of time, and as such, much as the One or the universe itself, has always existed and always will. Also, there are people who believe that this golden cup, the greatest of the gelstei, was made in Ea during the great Age of Law.
The Lightstone is the image of solar light, the sun, and hence of divine intelligence. It is made into the shape of a plain golden cup because 'it holds the whole universe inside'. Upon being activated by a powerful enough being, the gold begins to turn clear like a crystal and to radiate light like the sun. As it connects with the infinite power of the universe, the One, it radiates light like that of ten thousand suns. Ultimately, its light is pure, clear and infinite - the light of pure consciousness. The light inside light, the light inside all things that is all things. The Lightstone quickens consciousness in itself, the power of consciousness to enfold itself and form up as matter and thus evolve into infinite possibilities. It enables certain human beings to channel and magnify this power. Its power is infinitely greater than that of the red gelstei, the firestones. Indeed, the Lightstone gives power over the other gelstei, the greea purple, blue and white, the black and perhaps the silver - and potentially over all matter, energy, space and time. The final secret of the Lightstone is that, as the very consciousness and substance of the universe itself, it is found within each human being, interwoven and interfused with each separate soul. To quote from the Saganom Elu, it is 'the perfect jewel within the lotus found inside the human heart'.
The Lightstone has many specific powers, and each person finds in it a reflection of himself. Those seeking healing are healed. In some, it recalls their true nature and origins as Star People; others, in their lust fo
r immortality, find only the hell of endless life. Some - such as Morjin or Angra Mainyu - it blinds with its terrible and beautiful light. Its potential to be misused by such maddened beings is vast: ultimately it has the power to blow up the sun and destroy the stars, perhaps the whole universe itself.
Used properly, the Lightstone can quicken the evolution of all beings. In its light, Star People may transcend to their higher angelic natures while angels evolve into archangels. And the Galadin themselves, in the act of creation only, may use the Lightstone to create whole new universes.
The Lightstone is activated at once by individual consciousness, the collective unconscious and the energies of the stars. It also becomes somewhat active at certain key times, such as when the Seven Sisters are rising in the sky. Its most transcendental powers manifest when it is in the presence of an enlightened being and/or when the earth enters the Golden Band.
It is not known if there are many Lightstones throughout the universe, or only one that somehow appears at the same time in different places. One of the greatest mysteries of the Lightstone is that on Ea, only a human man, woman or child can use it for its best and highest purpose: to bring the sacred light to others and awaken each being to his angelic nature. Neither the Elijin nor the Galadin, the archangels, possess this special resonance. And only a very few of the Star People do.
These rare beings are the Maitreyas who come forth every few millen nia or so to share their enlightenment with the world. They have cast off all illusion and apprehend the One in all things and all things as manifestations of the One. Thus they are the deadly enemies of Morjin and the Dark Angel, and other Lords of the Lie.
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