Table of Contents
ONE The Nightmare
TWO Hairy Inspector
THREE Iron Box
FOUR Saturday Blues
FIVE Black walls
SIX Ogre
SEVEN Olave
EIGHT Korosu
NINE Idaho
TEN Smith
ELEVEN Donatello
TWELVE Elvis
THIRTEEN Death warmed up
FOURTEEN Irregular mosaic patterns
FIFTEEN Circus clown blues
SIXTEEN Australian idiot
SEVENTEEN Titanic
EIGHTEEN Elementary
NINETEEN Drug fiend
TWENTY Troupe
TWENTY ONE Occam’s razor
TWENTY TWO Abducted
TWENTY THREE Lingdale Junior
TWENTY FOUR Lawton sweets
TWENTY FIVE Tonic water
TWENTY SIX Hash
TWENTY SEVEN Esbjerg
TWENTY EIGHT Arthur Taylor
TWENTY NINE Gillygate
THIRTY Empathy
THIRTY ONE Nathan Green
THIRTY TWO Torch
THIRTY THREE Snakes
THIRTY FOUR Protest
THIRTY FIVE Unkillable
THIRTY SIX Bees
THIRTY SEVEN Lucky
THIRTY EIGHT Internal investigation
THIRTY NINE Sick people
FORTY Herald
FORTY ONE Eleanor Bulmer
FORTY TWO Right one
FORTY THREE Scream
FORTY FOUR Agony
FORTY FIVE Nightmare
FORTY SIX Decapitated
FORTY SEVEN Name and number
FORTY EIGHT Ante mortem
FORTY NINE Yorick
FIFTY Something rotten
FIFTY ONE Angel
FIFTY TWO Yoghurt
FIFTY THREE Enormous arms
FIFTY FOUR Reincarnated
FIFTY FIVE Surreal insight
FIFTY SIX Walter Ingram
FIFTY SEVEN Harrogate
FIFTY EIGHT Outburst
FIFTY NINE Hog’s Head
SIXTY Armadillo
SIXTY ONE Video cassette
SIXTY TWO Enterprise Hardware
SIXTY THREE Rydale Psychiatric Hospital
SIXTY FOUR Evil eyes
SIXTY FIVE Jackass
SIXTY SIX Escapologist
SIXTY SEVEN Credit card
SIXTY EIGHT Tokoloshe
SIXTY NINE Entertainment system
SEVENTY DIY Barbecue
SEVENTY ONE Men in uniform
SEVENTY TWO Yang Chu
SEVENTY THREE Blues Master
SEVENTY FOUR Obese
SEVENTY FIVE Odyssey
SEVENTY SIX King sized bed
SEVENTY SEVEN Serene
SEVENTY EIGHT Forensics
SEVENTY NINE Undercover work
EIGHTY Captive audience
EIGHTY ONE Kaboom
EIGHTY TWO Yorick’s joke
EIGHTY THREE Only child
EIGHTY FOUR Unforgiven
EPILOGUE
HARLEQUIN
BY
STEWART
GILES
‘Repent, Harlequin,’ said the Ticktock man,
‘Why let them order you about?
Why let them tell you to hurry and scurry
Like ants or maggots?
Take your time,
Saunter a while!
Enjoy the sunshine,
Enjoy the breeze,
Let life carry you at your own pace!
Don’t be a slave of time;
It’s a helluva way to die,
By degrees.’
ONE
The Nightmare
Nathan Green looked at the clock on the DVD player – 17:59. It seemed to have stayed on 17:59 for a lot longer than a minute but Nathan knew that it often happened when he stared at a clock for too long; time seemed to slow down. Even though he was only five, Nathan knew that 17:59 was almost six o clock. He also knew that watching the clock was a futile exercise. The news was about to start on the brand new Panasonic plasma television as it always did at six o clock. The front door opened and Colin Green, Nathan’s father burst into the house. The LED lights on the DVD player changed to 18:00. Colin Green was on time.
Nathan ran out to the hallway and watched as his father removed his boots and placed his coat on the coat stand next to the cupboard under the stairs. Friday night, Nathan thought, an extra hour to stay up and no school in the morning.
“There’s my little genius,” Colin Green rubbed his son’s head, “I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“What is it?” Nathan tugged at the back of his father’s shirt.
“Hey,” Colin said, “not so hard, you’re getting strong.”
“What is it?” Nathan was not giving up.
“If I tell you that it won’t be a surprise,” Colin smiled, “where’s the boss?”
“In the kitchen,” Nathan pulled a face, “we had fish for tea.”
Colin also pulled a face and stuck out his tongue.
“Fish?” he said.
He put his mouth to Nathan’s ear.
“Do you know the only thing I have against your mother?” he whispered.
Nathan’s eyes brightened. He was about to hear a secret.
“What?” his eyes were full of anticipation.
“Fish on Friday,” Colin said, “it’s a tradition your mother doesn’t seem to be able to break.”
Nathan walked towards the kitchen in disgust. He was expecting something much better than that.
Jessica Green took the plate out of the microwave and put it on the table in front of her husband.
“Good day?” she kissed him on the forehead.
“Every day’s a good day when five o clock comes around,” Colin smiled at Nathan.
“This looks good,” he pointed to the plate of grilled fish, potatoes and vegetables.
“Liar,” Jessica said, “you’ve never liked fish. I don’t care; it’s healthy and it’s Friday.”
“I have a surprise,” Colin changed the subject, “I have three tickets for the Circus tomorrow.”
Nathan could not control himself. He screamed, ran around the table and hugged his father.
Jessica shook her head and smiled.
“Lions and tigers and bears,” Colin took a mouthful of fish, “acrobats, elephants and clowns.”
“I like the clowns,” Nathan said, “we’re going to the circus.”
Two hours later, Nathan lay in bed looking at the crack of light in the doorway. He closed his eyes and opened them again. The light in the crack was gone. Two seconds later it was back. Nathan could feel his heart beating faster. He was certain that the crack in the door was wider now; somebody had opened the door slightly. He watched with wide eyes as something stopped outside the door. Three bony fingers crept around the edge of the door and Nathan heard a peculiar sound.
“Tick tock, Tick tock.”
The voice was no more than a whisper.
“Tick tock, Tick tock.”
The voice was louder now. The door opened wider.
Nathan Green screamed.
Colin and Jessica Green were in Nathan’s bedroom in seconds. They found Nathan sitting on the floor next to the bed. He was shaking and his eyes were staring ahead at something on the door frame.
“What is it Baby?” Jessica put her hand on Nathan’s forehead.
He was very hot.
“The Tick Tock man,” Nathan whispered.
“Mummy can’t hear you baby,” Jessica said.
“The Tick Tock man,” Nathan said again, “the Tick Tock man was here.”
Colin nodded to his wife, bent down and picked Nathan up. He carried him out
of the room and down the corridor to the master bedroom.
“You can sleep in here,” Colin carefully placed Nathan on the king size bed, “The Tick Tock man hey?”
Nathan looked at his father and nodded.
“Well,” Colin thought hard for a moment, “The Tick Tock man can’t do anything to you in here. Do you want to know why?”
Nathan nodded his head.
“Because,” Colin said, “because he’s a coward that’s why. He’s scared of me and he knows if he comes anywhere near this room there’ll be big trouble.”
Nathan smiled. Colin tucked him in and kissed him on the top of his head.
“You go to sleep now,” Colin said, “we’ll be up in an hour or two.”
Nathan closed his eyes and thought about the clowns in the circus. The clowns were his favorites. He was asleep before his father had got back downstairs.
“What was that all about?” Jessica said when Colin sat next to her.
“Probably a nightmare,” Colin opened a bottle of beer and took a long sip; “I used to have them all the time when I was a kid.”
“You two are weird,” Jessica said, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a nightmare. Where do you think this Tick Tock man comes from?”
“The kid’s got a vivid imagination,” Colin lay back further in the chair.
“I forgot to kiss him goodnight,” Jessica stood up, “I always kiss him goodnight.”
She walked out of the room. Colin sighed and changed the channel on the television. The football was about to start. He heard his wife’s footsteps on the floor above him. She was stamping her feet. He turned up the volume on the television. The footsteps were now moving quickly on the landing in the direction of Nathan’s room. Colin heard the footsteps stop and then he heard Jessica scream. Colin stood up and ran up the stairs. Jessica was standing next to Nathan’s bedroom. She was shaking.
“What’s wrong?” Colin said.
“It’s Nathan,” Jessica said, “he’s gone.”
TWO
Hairy Inspector
“Has anybody heard from Smith recently?” DC Bridge said.
Bridge, DC Whitton and DS Thompson were sitting in the canteen of the York City police station.
“He’s probably lying drunk in a ditch somewhere,” Thompson sniffed.
He was suffering from a terrible cold.
“You’re all heart sir,” Whitton said, “the last I heard, he was renting a place on Moss Gate while they finish fixing up his house.”
Smith’s house had been petrol bombed a few weeks earlier and had almost burned to the ground.
“Is he even coming back to work?” Bridge said, “It’s been almost three weeks now.”
“Three weeks on Monday,” Whitton sighed, “it seems like ages ago now. I hope he’s alright.”
“He’s missed the DI deadline anyway,” Thompson took out a handkerchief and blew his nose, “not that he’d make a good DI anyway. I heard they’ve brought in an old hag from Leeds.”
“A woman?” Bridge said.
Whitton glared at him.
“What’s wrong with a woman DI?” she said.
“Nothing,” Bridge said, “I happen to be very fond of women. It’s just easier to take orders from a man isn’t it?”
“You’ll learn,” Thompson said and sneezed into his handkerchief, “I’ve been taking orders from a woman for over thirty years. Wait until you get married. You’ll see.”
DI Chalmers walked into the canteen. A woman was walking next to him.
“Here we go,” Bridge whispered to Whitton.
She punched him on the shoulder.
“You three,” Chalmers said, “as you probably know the top brass have finally put old DCI Donnelly out to pasture and as such the DCI post has become available. I’ve been appointed the new Detective Chief Inspector.”
“Did we even have a DCI?” Bridge looked confused.
“He was off with stress most of the time,” Chalmers said, “he was hardly ever around. Anyway, that’s not important. You probably know that I put Smith forward for my job but as far as I’m aware he’s otherwise engaged at the moment.”
The woman standing next to Chalmers appeared like she wanted to say something.
“This is your new DI,” Chalmers beat her to it; “this is Bryony Brownhill.”
Whitton, Bridge and Thompson stared at the woman in front of them. She was taller than all three of them with short, thin black hair. Her eyes were pale blue and they were far too close together. Above her tight lips was a fine growth of hair. Bridge thought that she could do with a shave. Thompson offered his hand but DI Brownhill did not accept it.
“Welcome to York,” Thompson seemed undeterred, “I’m DS Thompson. If you need to know anything about what goes on around here, I’m the bloke to talk to.”
Chalmers glared at Bridge. He was staring at DI Brownhill’s moustache.
“Sorry,” Bridge said, “I’m DC Bridge and this is DC Whitton. If you need any help settling in just ask.”
“You’re not paid to help me,” Brownhill said in an unusually deep voice, “you’re here to do what I tell you to do. Where’s the other one? Smith isn’t it?”
“He’s on extended sick leave,” Chalmers said, “he’s had a bit of a rough time of it recently.”
Brownhill did not seem impressed.
“I’ve read all about the famous DS Smith,” She said, “he’s a troublemaker if you ask me.”
“He gets results,” Whitton said without thinking.
“DC Whitton isn’t it?” Brownhill said, “DS Smith is a loose cannon. I don’t tolerate that kind of disruption on my team. I’m not sure what you’re used to but I can promise you that things are going to change around here from now on. And I expect you to address me as Ma’am. Is that clear?”
Whitton could not believe what she was hearing. She looked to Chalmers for support. Chalmers shook his head.
“Loud and clear Ma’am,” Whitton said.
“Good,” Brownhill said, “now, I need an hour or so to get up to speed on what’s happening in this so called police station.”
She looked at her watch.
“Be in my office at ten sharp,” she said, “I will not tolerate tardiness.”
She rubbed her moustache and walked out of the canteen.
“Is she for real?” Bridge said when he was sure that DI Brownhill was out of earshot.
“I’m afraid so,” Chalmers said, “I’ve been in this job for over thirty years and I don’t mind admitting she scares the shit out of me.”
“She can’t just waltz in here and shout the odds,” Whitton said.
“Yes she can,” Chalmers said, “her record speaks for itself. She was the star of Leeds police department. Her crime stats are unbelievable. Would you believe she’s only twenty six?”
“She needs a bloody shave,” Bridge said, “I bet she’s a lesbian.”
“She’s not a lesbian,” Chalmers said, “I won’t have you talking like that. She’s married to a doctor.”
“Poor bastard,” Thompson said.
“Get used to her,” Chalmers said, “She’s not going anywhere.”
“She’s just buggered up my Saturday,” Bridge said.
“Has anybody heard from Smith?” Chalmers changed the subject.
“Nothing sir,” Whitton said, “I don’t think he wants to speak to anybody.”
“Go and see him,” Chalmers said, “you seem to be the only one who can get through to the stubborn git.”
“He won’t listen to anyone,” Whitton said.
“Tell him we have a new DI,” Chalmers said, “Smith is going to love Bryony Brownhill.”
THREE
Iron Box
The Moreno brothers’ Circus was on their penultimate stop on their summer tour of the North of England. After York, they were due to wrap things up in Bradford and then the lean months would begin; seven months of trying to make ends meet finding temporary work wherever possible. The bea
r and the lion still had to be fed. Ten years earlier they also had a tiger but the poor creature had to be put to sleep; it had become mangy and irritable. It had attacked one of the handlers and had almost killed her.
“I don’t know how much longer we can go on like this,” Alberto Moreno said.
He was sitting in front of a small lap top in one of the caravans that served as home while they were on tour. A pile of papers was stacked up before him.
“We’ve barely broke even this season,” Moreno typed away on the keyboard, “and the vet’s bill for the stupid bear is almost double this year.”
“What else would we do?” the woman sitting on the two seater couch opposite him said.
Her name was Valerie and she had joined the Morenos fifteen years earlier.
“Nobody wants the circus anymore,” Moreno sighed, “kids are just not into it like they used to be.”
“Some of them are,” Valerie said, “there’s still something magical about the big top.”
Alberto stood up.
“I’m going to check on Bruce,” he said, “Danny reckons the bloody lion has a cold. He’s sneezing like mad.”
“Lions don’t get colds,” Valerie said.
“I’m going to check anyway,” Alberto said, “without the lion we may as well close down the whole business.”
Valerie sighed and plucked at an overgrown eyebrow.
Alberto Moreno walked outside and looked around. This had been his life for longer than he could remember. The main tent had been erected and the temporary staff were busy constructing the tunnel at the back of the tent where the various acts would be coming and going later that day. The first show was due to start at three that afternoon and the main event would start at eight. Alberto remembered when they used to do four shows per day. The good old days, he thought, but that was before working conditions were brought into the equation and they had to cut the working hours by half.
Bruce the lion was housed in an old freight container that had been modified with bars on one side of it so that the lion had some fresh air. Charlie Small was in the container with the lion. Charlie was one of three clowns in the troupe. He had only been in the circus for two years but in that time he had proven to be a favourite with the children. At six feet eight inches, Charlie was a natural clown. He was also a natural animal tamer; he had an eerie bond with the animals. He was also one of the only people in the circus that Alberto actually liked.
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