by Lucy Saxon
‘Lunatic? My dear, you insult me,’ Shulga said, shaking his head. ‘And I don’t want him dead, I want him serving – it’s a far worse punishment. But if dead is my only option, I’ll take what I can get.’ He stepped off the bridge, now only a few feet away from Aleks and Saria. ‘But neither can happen until you give me back my bloody journal!’
‘You’re never getting it back!’ Aleks roared, ducking the punch the taller man threw his way. ‘The world is better off with that knowledge lost. I should throw the bloody thing into the storms.’ Shulga grabbed Aleks’s shoulder, wrenching him close and kneeing him in the stomach.
‘You wouldn’t dare,’ he hissed, eyes flashing. ‘You’re too curious – I can see it in your eyes. You’ve not finished the journal yet, have you, brat? You want to know how it ends. Now tell me where it is!’
‘I know how it ends, the whole world does,’ Aleks spat in reply, face turning red as Shulga’s grip moved to his throat. Wrestling the man off him, he kicked out, catching Shulga’s thigh. ‘And I won’t tell you where I’ve put it!’ Shulga growled in rage, lurching forward to try and choke Aleks a second time. ‘Go ahead and kill me, but it won’t get you any closer to finding it! You’re not getting that journal back, and if you come after me again I’ll go to the newscasts, show the whole country what you’ve been keeping from them. Perhaps it’ll prompt the king to have a closer look at how things are run at the Rensav base, hmm?’ He grinned viciously, expecting Shulga to retreat at the threat, but the lieutenant just laughed.
‘Oh, you’re so naive it’s almost adorable.’ He stepped away from Aleks, brushing off his coat. ‘As tempting as it is, if I kill you now I’ll never get my journal back. Just be aware that I’m watching you, Vasin, and your little girlfriend too. I’ll find where you’ve hidden it, and when I do I’ll drag your sorry arse back to Rensav. I have plans for that journal, boy, and you’ve been in my way for far too long now.’ He glanced at Saria, gaze turning predatory. ‘Maybe I’ll bring her too. The boys could use a little fun at the base – half of them haven’t seen a female in years.’ He barked out a laugh as Aleks went chalk white. ‘You’ll slip up eventually, brat. Get ready to see your barracks mates again soon – I know they’ve missed you ever so much.’ Spitting in Aleks’s face, Shulga turned sharply and crossed back over the bridge, his footprints quickly covered by falling snow.
Rubbing at his bruised neck, Aleks turned to Saria, opening his mouth and then closing it again abruptly. She was shaking and looked about ready to faint, but her hazel eyes were full of anger. ‘I don’t want to know,’ she snapped, arms folded over her chest. ‘Whatever that journal is, whatever it is you stole from him, I’m not interested. All I know is, he wants it back, and he’s never going to leave you alone. I just . . . I can’t, Aleks, I mean it.’ She began to well up, two fat tears streaking down her cold-flushed cheeks. ‘I love you. But all this, just being around you, it’s too dangerous. He’ll kill us both!’
‘Saria, wait, I promise, he won’t find us again!’ Aleks stuttered, still reeling from her words. Why was it that the first time she said she loved him was when she was trying to break up with him?
‘You said that the last time, and now look!’ Saria shook her head, taking one step closer and leaning up to press her lips to Aleks’s. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. I can’t live my life constantly looking over my shoulder, which is exactly what you’re doing. I hope you stay safe, I really do, but I have my family to think of. Clearly you aren’t thinking of yours.’ She paused, choking back a sob. ‘This is over, Aleks. Don’t talk to me, don’t come after me – I don’t want to get involved in whatever gods-forsaken mess you’ve got yourself into.’
They were both crying by the time she finished, and Aleks reached out, grasping her shoulder. ‘Wait! I can fix this, please!’ he begged, but she shook him off.
‘You can’t fix everything, Aleks! You can’t undo what you’ve done. You might be stuck in your situation, and I hate that you are, but I’m not. And as much as I love you, I can’t stay and put myself in danger. Just let it go. Let me go.’
The lump in Aleks’s throat was so big he couldn’t speak, so he merely nodded, blinking away a fresh wave of tears. Saria was right; he’d be selfish to keep her with him when he was a dead man walking. Shulga would catch up with him eventually, and he didn’t want Saria to be around when he did. This was twice now, and he doubted the next time he’d get so lucky. Shulga may have left, but Aleks didn’t doubt the man was watching him still. He’d follow Aleks home, follow him everywhere, until he found out where the journal was. Aleks wouldn’t be free of him until he left for the Stormlands, and he couldn’t risk Saria’s life like that. Part of him wanted to just give back the journal and be done with it, barter for his freedom and keep his relationship, but he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t live with the awful things Shulga would do with that journal on his conscience.
‘Goodbye, Saria,’ he managed finally, voice hoarse. She nodded, biting her lip, then turned to walk away. Aleks couldn’t bear to watch her go. It was better this way, he reminded himself. After all, it was one less person to miss him if he never came back from the Stormlands.
24
Luka gave the crew a six-day deadline. Six days, and the weather would be as perfect as they could hope for, according to the forecasts. Six days before they left Syvana and Siberene altogether, potentially for the last time. Aleks spent a lot of the first day hiding in his corner of the workshop under the pretence of finishing the last audio recorder, though really he’d finished it days before. Anything to keep his mind off Saria, and Shulga, and his impending journey. It was hard to be as excited as he wanted to be when he was acutely aware of everything that could go wrong over the coming days.
By the second day, Aleks had more of a handle on himself, and he stayed at the Compass while Luka took Zhora and Drazan out in the ship, helping behind the bar and in the kitchen. He kept himself busy, and none of the three needed to ask why he’d decided to spend the whole day with them for once. Raina had hugged him tightly at the end of the day, before imperiously telling him that he was going to spend the next day in the city with her. It was a Saturday, and Saria would be with her aunt and therefore unlikely to bump into them, so Aleks had no reason to say no.
Bundled up in coats, hats and scarves, the pair of them left for the market first thing in the morning, Raina happily dragging him through the stalls, occasionally stopping to look at a pretty trinket or item of clothing. Aleks was content to go along with what she wanted to do, making sure they stuck to the back alleys and less popular roads. He’d managed to keep the lieutenant away from his new family at the Compass thus far; he only had a couple more days left.
‘Do you mind if we go to the courtyard?’ Aleks asked when they finally left the market, Raina’s arm in his and her shopping in his satchel; he’d insisted on carrying it for her. It was a risk, but he had one last errand to do before he left.
‘Not at all,’ Raina agreed, giving him a knowing look. ‘Stopping in to see Saria, are we?’ He’d told her about the break-up, and she was insistent they’d sort it out eventually. She didn’t know the real reason, however, so her optimism was flawed.
‘No, she’s out with her family today,’ he replied, grimacing. He hadn’t seen Saria since the night in the park, and quite honestly he wasn’t sure if he was ready yet. ‘There was something else I wanted to look at.’
The walk from the market to the courtyard was short, and as expected the open area was half packed with people by the time they got there. Most of them were clearly tourists, shivering in coats far too thin for the time of year, bright smiles on their faces despite that. Aleks led Raina through the throng of people towards a familiar shopfront. He tried to ignore his paranoia, sure he was imagining the feeling of someone’s gaze on him.
‘I thought you weren’t going to see Saria?’ Raina asked, confused, as they stepped into the jewellery shop.
‘I’m not.’ Aleks took o
ff his hat upon entry, relieved to see Evgeny’s apprentice standing behind the counter. He’d only guessed that Evgeny would be with his daughter. He’d never met the apprentice, and he eyed the long-limbed Kaseman teenager carefully. He looked fairly meek, his coffee-brown eyes only half raising at their entrance, his shoulders hunched anxiously.
‘Welcome, sir and madam. How may I help you?’ he stuttered, attempting a smile. Aleks half smiled back, edging towards a display in the corner of the room. A display that had caught his eye every time he’d been inside the shop.
‘I’d like to buy an engagement ring,’ Aleks declared, voice only catching slightly. Beside him, Raina gasped.
‘Aleks, you can’t be serious!’ She whispered, eyes wide. ‘You two aren’t even together any more!’ He shrugged, looking down at the case of rings.
‘When . . . if I get back, I hope she’ll have had enough time without me to maybe give me another chance,’ he replied. ‘And if I don’t come back, then, well . . . I want her to know how I felt. Even if she doesn’t return my feelings.’ Aleks glanced up from the rings, giving Raina a smile that was definitely more of a grimace. ‘The worst she can do is say no, right?’ He knew that Saria was the girl he wanted to marry, and if he survived the whole adventure he wanted to do so as quickly as possible, if she was willing. He’d be a free man once he got home, and if he could just win her aunt over she’d have no reason to stay away. Unless her feelings had changed, of course, but he’d handle that if the situation arose. If Shulga kept chasing Aleks when he returned home, Aleks could report him to the kingsguard without fear of being dragged back to Rensav. By then, Aleks’s arrest warrant would have been dealt with.
Raina sighed, winding her arm around his and leaning into his shoulder. ‘Oh, Aleks,’ she murmured. ‘Don’t talk like that. You are coming back.’ She straightened up, facing the apprentice jeweller and folding her arms over her chest. ‘He wants to buy an engagement ring, he said. Are these all the ones you’ve got?’
The apprentice froze, looking nervous. He clearly wasn’t used to serving customers by himself yet. ‘Y-yes, madam. Unless sir would like a custom design.’
‘I don’t have time to custom order, but thank you. Raina, stop it, you’re scaring him,’ Aleks added offhandedly, paying closer attention to a small selection of sapphire and amethyst rings. They were Saria’s favourite. He knew that traditionally engagement rings were meant to hold diamonds, but the symbol of wealth wasn’t quite so prized in Siberene where diamonds came by the thousands from the mountains, and tradition was starting to make way to modernisation as other stones became more and more popular. Aleks knew Saria wouldn’t want a traditional ring; she was hardly a traditional sort of woman. The fact that someone of her class was even giving him the time of day proved that.
His gaze landed on a ring that held a bright sapphire in the middle with two small amethysts on either side. The silver band crept up the sides of the stones like tendrils of vines, holding them in place. ‘How much is this one?’ he asked.
‘Ooh, pretty,’ Raina murmured in approval.
The jeweller’s apprentice bit his lip. ‘I . . . I shouldn’t, really,’ he started.
Aleks raised an eyebrow. ‘Has it been reserved for someone already?’ he asked. The apprentice shook his head.
‘No, sir, but . . . it’s the boss’s daughter’s favourite. I think he was always hoping, well, y’know.’ The apprentice tugged at the cuff of his shirt, clearly uncomfortable. Aleks turned, catching Raina’s eye as they shared matching grins.
‘How much is it?’ Aleks repeated, feeling somewhat sorry for the poor apprentice.
‘Thirty golds, sir.’
‘I’ll take it.’ It would clear out a good amount of his savings, but it was worth it. Besides, he thought to himself, should he not return, he’d have no use for money. ‘Your boss can always make another for his daughter, should he so choose.’ If things went Aleks’s way, Evgeny wouldn’t have to. ‘However, it is, perhaps, in both our best interests if you don’t mention who bought it. Just so your boss can’t track me down and demand it back,’ he added wryly, leaning on the counter and putting on his best friendly smile. The apprentice hesitantly returned it, nodding.
‘Perhaps you’re right, sir. Maybe if I don’t mention it he won’t notice for a while. You’ll be paying in coin, then?’ Aleks pulled his large money purse from his satchel, counting out the coins as the apprentice boxed up the ring for him.
‘Pleasure doing business with you,’ he declared once the exchange had been made. ‘Now, I’d better make myself scarce before your boss comes back.’
‘Thank you, sir,’ the apprentice sighed in relief. ‘And I hope the Goddess smiles on your upcoming proposal.’
Aleks nodded in thanks at the blessing, leaving the shop with Raina.
‘Any other secret errands to run while we’re out?’ Raina asked, reaching to dust snow off his collar as it settled.
‘No, that was the only one. Listen, Raina, I need you to do me a favour,’ he said abruptly.
‘Of course,’ she agreed easily. ‘What?’ Aleks reached into his pocket, pulling out the box holding the ring.
‘I want you to look after this for me,’ he requested quietly. ‘While I’m gone. If . . . if a month passes and I don’t come back, give it to Saria. Tell her I love her, and I’m sorry, and I want her to have it.’ Raina’s lower lip wobbled, but she took the box from him.
‘I’ll look after it,’ she promised. ‘But only because you’re likely to lose it if you keep it with you.’ He snorted and she smiled. ‘You’re coming back, Aleks. You said you would.’
‘I know, I know. But just in case.’
Raina huffed, tucking the box into her inner coat pocket, but didn’t say anything more. Aleks wisely ignored the stray tears she couldn’t keep at bay.
Aleks and Raina didn’t get to talk much about their little shopping trip once they got back to the Compass as Ksenia quickly put them both to work. Aleks was glad of the distraction; the lump in his throat was prone to rising at odd moments, and he was finding it harder and harder to push the emotion aside.
After he’d eaten, Aleks went upstairs to his room, looking at the small space. Most of his clothes were already in the ship, and everything he was leaving behind was stored in the trunk at the foot of the bed; Luka had told them all to only bring what they couldn’t do without.
He sat down at his desk, flipped his notebook open to a clean page and picked up his pen, ignoring how the ink leaked on to his fingers when he held it. Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought about what he wanted to write, he put pen to paper and let the words come.
Aleks wrote two letters, both to his family. One that he would send in the morning, explaining to them that he was doing a bit of travelling for work, and that they probably wouldn’t hear from him for a few weeks. The second letter was one he was planning to ask Raina to keep for him, to send in the event that he didn’t return, explaining the truth of everything. This one proved significantly harder to write, and he wasn’t surprised to find himself crying before he’d even finished it. He started at a knock on the door, turning to see Raina poking her head in. ‘Oh,’ she murmured when she saw the state he was in. ‘Never mind, it can wait.’
‘No, no, come in,’ he urged, wiping furiously at his cheeks. Ksenia wouldn’t mind them bending the rules a little, under the circumstances. Raina giggled.
‘You’ve just smeared ink all over your face, you daft idiot,’ she said fondly. He groaned, glancing down at his ink-stained fingers.
‘I’ll wash it off in the morning. Is everything all right?’ Raina shrugged, moving to perch on the edge of his bed, and revealed a striped bundle from behind her back, handing it wordlessly to him. Aleks took it, holding it out, a surprised smile on his face when he realised it was a knitted jumper. It had stripes of black, white and blue in varying widths; the colours of Siberene.
‘Aunt Ksenia made it for you,’ Raina explained, watch
ing him run the soft wool between his fingers. ‘It’ll be cold out there in the Stormlands, and, well . . . she thought it might remind you of home. Give you more determination to come back.’ Aleks smiled, setting the jumper down carefully and then sitting beside Raina and slinging an arm around her shoulders.
‘I couldn’t possibly have more determination to come back than I do already,’ he assured her quietly. ‘But thank you, and Ksenia. It’ll be nice to have something from here to take with me.’
‘Are you all right?’ Raina asked tentatively.
‘Yes,’ he lied. ‘I’m fine. Just writing letters to my family. I hate to ask more favours of you, but I was wondering if you would look after one of the letters, to send to them in case I don’t make it back. It explains what will have really happened to me, and . . . I know I can trust you to send it.’ He felt guilty, using her as his messenger like that, but he knew that he could trust her.
‘OK. OK, I can do that. I pray I don’t have to, but . . . I can do that,’ Raina agreed, and he kissed her cheek in gratitude.
‘Thank you.’ They sat together for several minutes, just enjoying the silence. Eventually, Raina pulled away from him, getting to her feet.
‘I’ll leave you to your evening, then. Still a couple more days left, right?’ She attempted a smile, but it fell flat. Aleks reached out to grab her hand, squeezing gently.
‘Yeah, I’m not leaving just yet.’ He paused, biting his lip. ‘But in case I don’t get the chance to say it later . . . thank you. And your family. You’ve made me feel so at home, these past few months have been some of the best of my life . . . I can’t even begin to think of the words to tell you how grateful I am for that.’
‘Don’t be stupid, you don’t need to thank us. We’ve loved having you here. It’s been nice, especially as my cousins moved out a few years ago. Like having a sibling.’
‘I always wanted a sister,’ Aleks admitted with a half-smile. ‘I guess you’ll have to do.’ Raina cuffed him lightly around the ear.
