by Tara Sivec
Something hard and strong and warm, so different from the cold ocean water, wraps around my waist and yanks me backwards. I claw and fight, trying to get it to let go of me and just let me stay here, under the water, but it refuses. It tightens its hold on me, squeezing me hard as it continues to pull and pull until my head suddenly breaks the surface. I cough and sputter and cry, spitting out water, the pain in my chest exploding as cool air fills my lungs. My body is hefted right out of the water until I feel arms under my legs and around my back, cradling me to strength and warmth that I instantly recognize.
I close my eyes through the dizziness and disorientation as my body is jostled, not even caring about the wind and rain still hammering against me until it suddenly stops and I feel nothing but heat and the sound of the wind is no longer ringing through my ears, but becomes muffled. Coughs wrack my body all over again as a blanket is wrapped around me and strong hands pat and rub my back, helping me lean forward to spit out more water, and I suddenly hear the voice that I thought I’d never hear again.
“Lucy, my Lucy, what the hell were you doing?”
My head jerks up and I’m met with Fisher’s worried, tear-filled eyes as he stares down at me and begins smoothing my wet hair off of my face before running both of his palms over the top of my head, and cupping the back of it in his hands.
“I didn’t think I would get to you in time. Oh, my God, I almost lost you,” he whispers in fear. “That wave went over top of you and I almost lost you.”
I throw myself against him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, my sobs echoing around the room when I feel his strong arms encircle my waist and pull me as close to him as possible. He’s so warm and real and alive that I can’t stop crying. I pull back a little, just enough to be able to see his face. His beautiful, wonderful face that I can’t imagine never seeing again, never touching again or never kissing again.
“I love you, I love you so much,” I tell him with a raspy voice as the tears fall down my face, mixing with salt water.
He lets out a shaky gasp, sliding his hands to my cheeks and holding my face in his palms. “You have no idea how much I love you, Lucy. No fucking idea.”
I nod against his hands, my lips quivering with the tears that continue to fall. “I do. I know, I’ve always known, I just didn’t want to see it. I see it now and I’m so sorry. I should have believed you, I should have trusted you. I love you, Fisher. With everything I have and everything I am.”
His sobs join my own and he pulls me roughly back to him. I’m seated in his lap, cradled in his arms as he rocks us back and forth on the floor of the lighthouse. He only lets go of me long enough to wrap the large blanket around both of our shoulders, before pulling me back to the warmth of his chest.
“You’re my light, Lucy,” he tells me as I run my hands over his face, his shoulders and his chest, still trying to convince myself that he’s real and he’s here and I didn’t lose him. “You are always the light in my darkness. You’re the reason I’m alive, you’re the reason I’m here and you’re the reason I breathe, every day.”
He kisses my nose, my cheeks and my forehead before pressing a gentle kiss to my lips.
“I kept my promise. I found my way back to you and I will ALWAYS find my way back to you, no matter where I go, forever,” he vows.
“Please, don’t leave me, ever again,” I beg him. “I love you. You are everything to me. I don’t care about Melanie, I don’t care about the inn, I don’t care about anything but being with you and loving you for the rest of my life.”
He wipes the tears from my eyes before closing his own, resting his forehead against mine.
“There never has been, nor will there ever be anyone but you, Lucy. How could anyone possibly compete with you?” he asks me. “You’ve been in my heart since I was eleven years old. You are the calm to my storm and I never should’ve pushed you away. I should’ve recognized how fucking strong you are, how strong you’ve always been. Walking away from you was the worst mistake I ever made. I can’t live without you, Lucy, I can’t. Please, come back to me. Marry me. Love me. Grow old with me. I can’t do this without you.”
I kiss his lips, lingering against his mouth.
“I can’t come back, because I never left. I never left,” I whisper against his lips. “I’ve always been here, waiting for you to come back to me.”
Fisher leans our bodies sideways, reaching for his wetsuit. He drags it across the floor with one hand, refusing to let go of me with the other. He unzips a small pocket on the chest of the suit and pulls something out of it. Bringing his hand between us, I look down and find my engagement and wedding rings resting in his palm.
My eyes grow blurry with tears all over again when I see them sitting there.
“I’ve carried these with me every day since you sent them back to me. I don’t want to hold onto them anymore,” he tells me as he grabs my left hand and slides them on my ring finger.
He brings my hand up to his mouth and presses a kiss over top of the rings.
“I love you for being so strong.”
He flips my hand over and kisses my palm.
“I love you for waiting for me to come back to you.”
He wraps his hand around my wrist and pulls me against him, kissing me with love and passion and promise.
“I love you for meeting me at this lighthouse, even though you took ten years off my life,” he tells me with a grin.
He leans his head to the side and kisses my cheek, moving his lips to my ear.
“Most of all, I love you because you’re Lucy,” he whispers against my ear. “MY Lucy.”
As the storm rages around us, nestled on the floor of the lighthouse on top of the pile of blankets, Fisher slowly removes the wet clothes from my body. He touches and kisses and runs his hands over every inch of my body, whispering words of love after each kiss. He holds himself above me and I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him down on top of me, wanting to feel his weight and his strength. I will never get used to the sensation of him entering me for the first time, how full and loved and wanted he makes me feel. Our love spans so many years and is filled with so many memories, I could never imagine another day without him and I say a silent prayer that I will never have to.
Fisher and I move together slowly, holding each other tightly with the wind and the rain beating against the lighthouse.
The same lighthouse that brought us together when we were children.
The same lighthouse that helped me see the kind of man Fisher really was when we were teenagers.
The same lighthouse where our future began as adults.
It wasn’t too long ago that I thought our story had come to an end. Turns out, it was only beginning.
Epilogue
Fisher
Six weeks later…
With the sun setting in the distance, I stare down at Lucy with a mixture of love and sadness. Tears fill her eyes and I know we’re both feeling the exact same way. We’re on the beach, in front of our lighthouse with my mother, Ellie, Bobby, Lucy’s parents and Seth and Mary Beth off to the side, and a minister standing in front of us as I slide those rings back on her finger where they belong.
The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions, and we went back and forth about doing this today, not sure if it was right when there was one person missing. One person who had always supported us and would be happier than anyone that we’d found our way back to each other and finally got our small, intimate wedding in front of our lighthouse.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Again,” the minister says with a smile. “You may, of course, kiss your bride.”
I wrap my arms around Lucy and lift her up against my body, kissing her with every ounce of love I have inside of me. As our family and friends clap, I press my mouth to her ear.
“I love you, Mrs. Fisher,” I whisper.
“I love you more, Mr. Fisher,” she replies softly.
Setting her down on the sand, we
walk hand-in-hand to the water’s edge. I pick up the sky lantern from the sand and Lucy pulls a lighter from down the front of her dress and lights the square block of wax attached to the inside of the paper balloon. We hold onto it for a few seconds before lifting it up together and letting the wind carry it away, out over the ocean. Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I pull her close and we watch the light from the luminary float higher and higher above the water until it disappears into the clouds.
“You know he’s really pissed right now that we’re getting all sappy,” Lucy says with a shaky laugh as she swipes the tears off of her cheeks.
“He is absolutely calling me a ‘little shit’ and shaking his head at me,” I laugh with her, blinking the tears out of my eyes.
Jefferson ‘Trip’ Fisher, Sr., my grandfather and the only father I’ve ever truly known, died from a massive heart attack the day of the hurricane. Nothing has been the same since he’s been gone and the only thing keeping me from breaking down is the woman in my arms next to me. Lucy knew something was wrong with him that day and she’s been beating herself up ever since for not getting him to a hospital. I’ve done everything I could to convince her that there was nothing she could have done in the middle of a hurricane, and it’s not like Trip would have let her do something, anyway. He was a stubborn old man and the one thing giving me solace right now is that he’s finally reunited with the love of his life.
“They’re finally together,” Lucy says softly, mirroring my thoughts as she continues staring up at the sky.
“He’s probably already pissing her off, complaining about things that need to be fixed in Heaven,” I joke.
She laughs and the sound warms my heart. I turn her to face me and hold her face in my hands. In a simple, long-sleeved white dress with her hair hanging loose around her shoulders and a white flower tucked behind one ear, she’s more beautiful to me now than she was on our first wedding day. Keeping our promise not to tell my mother about this until right before the ceremony, Grace Fisher, in her usual fashion, clucked her tongue at me when she saw that we were both barefoot and I was wearing a casual pair of khakis rolled up to my shins and an untucked white button down shirt. She wisely kept her loving mouth shut when we told her this is what we wanted and she should just go with it.
“I love you. So much,” I tell her softly. “I miss him, and I wish he was here to see this, but I know he’s up there, cheering us on.”
She nods, resting her hands on top of mine on either side of her face. “He was so proud of you, Fisher, don’t ever forget that.”
I hear a throat clear behind me and we turn, both of us more than a little surprised to see who’s standing next to us, especially since he wasn’t invited.
“Fisher… Lucy,” my father says with a nod in both of our directions.
He holds up a large, wrapped package and hands it to Lucy. “I hope you don’t mind, Bobby said he was supposed to give this to you after the ceremony, but I wanted to do the honors.”
Lucy takes the package from my father. It’s the wedding present I made for her and I was having Bobby keep it hidden until the ceremony was finished. I have no idea what he’s trying to pull and I can’t help but be a little on the defensive and protective of Lucy. I don’t want anything ruining this day for her.
I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her securely into my side as she slowly rips the paper off of the present. She gasps when she sees the sign I carved. When I found out she trashed the sign I’d made her on our first wedding day, I knew I would make her a new one if she ever agreed to marry me again. I’m actually happy that she got rid of that first one. We’re starting over, beginning again and this sign, with a new date, signifies that.
“It’s beautiful, son,” my father tells me softly as he stares down at the sign in Lucy’s hand as she lovingly traces her fingers over the letters.
“Welcome to the family again, Lucy,” he tells her with a smile. “I know an apology will never suffice for the way I’ve treated you over the years. The way I’ve treated both of you. But for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I’m ashamed of the way I’ve behaved and I’m even more ashamed that it took the death of my father to open my eyes. I hope one day you can forgive me. I don’t want…”
I watch his eyes fill with tears as he pauses and clears his throat. I’m dumbfounded and I’ve suddenly forgotten how to blink.
“I don’t want to leave this earth with any regrets when my time comes. Right now, I have entirely too many and I want to change that. I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of both of you,” he tells us with a sad smile before walking away from us and back over to the group standing a few feet away.
“What in the hell just happened?” Lucy whispers as we both stare at my father while he chats easily with Lucy’s parents.
“I have no fucking idea,” I whisper back.
My father has been quite friendly since Trip passed away. Lucy had the wake and the ceremony at the inn and my father helped with everything, telling her to relax and not to lift a finger. He bragged about her and Butler House to everyone who walked through the door and pointed out every piece of furniture I’d made for the inn, praising my skills and telling everyone how proud he was of me. When I asked my mother about it, assuming he was just trying to showboat and be the center of attention, she told me he was grieving in his own way and wanted to make up for the past. It was nice hearing him say such good things about me, but I still wasn’t inclined to invite him to our wedding.
Maybe he finally realized what a shitty son he’d been or maybe he saw how devastated I was when I lost Trip and realized I wouldn’t grieve that way when he dies. Maybe he finally realized that the love of family and friends is the only thing that will truly sustain you through life, or maybe the letter Trip left behind was the kick in the ass he needed. When I read the letter Trip wrote to all of us on the day of his funeral, I watched my father cry for the first time in my entire life. Trip apologized to my father for the loss of his mother and for not doing everything he could to give him enough love to make up for her not being there. He told my father he would haunt him for the rest of his life if he didn’t stop making the same mistakes he did, and to be proud of me and accepting of Lucy. Then, he royally pissed Lucy off by enclosing the ‘paid in full’ deed to the inn, telling her that she better stop rolling her eyes and just say thank you. He told us that if we were reading that letter, we damn well better not be sad because he was finally where he belonged, with the woman he loves, and that he hoped we had finally stopped being idiots, gotten our shit together and gotten remarried. Every time we’ve waffled about whether we should continue with our wedding on the anniversary of our first date, all we had to do was think about that letter and know we were doing the right thing.
Whatever is going on with my father right now, I can only hope it continues because he has a whole new generation to be there for and to love and cherish.
Getting down on my knees in the sand, I hold onto Lucy’s hips and press my lips to her stomach.
“There’s hope for you yet, little one. Your grandfather might actually turn out to be a decent human being by the time you get here,” I speak softly.
Lucy laughs and runs her fingers through my hair as she smiles down at me. I stare up at her as the wind ruffles her curls and the sun forms a halo behind her, reminding me yet again that she is my angel and the child she carries inside of her is just the beginning of the amazing future we’re going to have together on this island. We no longer have to worry about the security of the inn, Ellie and Bobby can get married on the veranda just like they planned, our children will be born close together and will obviously grow up to be best friends, and Lucy and I can grow old together in the place where our story began, but will never, ever end. Rumor even has it that Melanie got her hooks into Stanford and they’ve fallen madly in love, so that’s two less annoyances Lucy and I will ever have to worry about. I’m sad that Trip will miss out on meeting his great-grandchild, but maybe my father
really is turning over a new leaf and he can be a better grandfather than he was a father.
“Thank you for meeting me at the lighthouse,” I whisper.
Lucy pulls me up from the sand and wraps her arms around my shoulders, smiling at me through the tears.
“Thank you for finding your way back to me.”
The End
To stay up to date on all Tara Sivec news, please join her mailing list:
http://eepurl.com/H4uaf
Acknowledgements
Thank you to my amazing beta readers Stephanie Johnson and Michelle Kannan. Thank you for being excited whenever I ask you if you want to read something, thank you for catching things that I completely miss and thank you for being wonderful friends and readers.
Thank you to my editor, Nikki Rushbrook, who isn’t afraid to call me a heifer and tell me when something absolutely sucks. You always enhance my stories in such a way that I could never do alone and I’m so thankful for you.
