Love had nothing to do with this. He couldn’t afford to indulge—not when duty, honor, and service flowed through his veins and that of every Hart.
“Heart comes first” might have been his family motto, but for Connor, it was honor which trumped heart.
He had to honor his word to Elaine, symbolized by the huge diamond he’d given her, and be man enough not to weep.
Nadine’s ending to the poem was the correct one.
Chapter Ten
Greyheart mewed for Nadine to pick him up as soon as she stepped into the apartment she shared with her mother. Moving boxes were scattered all over the living room and kitchen. Her mother wasn’t kidding about moving out. Why was she so eager to leave the San Francisco Bay Area?
Nadine cuddled the little kitten whose nose twitched. His ears were erect and he was alert, most likely because he caught a puppy’s scent. Her heart was heavy and she was in need of a good cry. But the entire Connor fiasco was her fault—that and her overactive imagination.
There was no fate, no meaning, no magic.
Connor was a fireman doing his duty. He didn’t owe her an explanation, since she was the one who’d opened herself to him—it was all one-sided and she’d made a fool out of herself with her mumbo-jumbo about fate and destiny and secret meanings.
“Oh, Grey, look what trouble you got me into climbing up that tree.” She rubbed her kitty’s head around his cheeks and under his chin. “You liked him, didn’t you? When he caught you, didn’t you feel safe?”
Greyheart agreed heartily. His little purr-motor vibrated in his throat as he rotated his head for best contact.
“You’re back early.” Her mother dragged a suitcase into the living room. “Did you find a job?”
“No, I failed both of my interviews, and then I screwed up someone’s relationship.” Nadine put the cat down and wiped her eyes. “I can’t do anything right. They’re probably arguing and fighting because of me.”
“Who hurt my baby?” Mother spread her long arms and folded Nadine into an embrace.
Nadine sniffed and swiped another tear from her eye. “It was all my imagination. I met a guy and thought we had a connection, but he has a girlfriend.”
“Did he act in a way to make you feel he was attracted to you?” Her mother tipped her head back to peer into Nadine’s eyes. “You have to quit wearing your heart on your sleeve.”
“He didn’t do anything wrong,” Nadine said. “Except he’s got a beautiful soul, and when I’m with him, words and images crash all over me like the rippling wind dancing with a downpour of tears. He took my poems seriously. It was one I whipped up. No rhymes, just words, and he got them, and finished it wonderfully. He’s like sunbaked wood and well-worn sea glass. And our hands fit like a song in a warbler’s throat. He was about to tell me something important when his girlfriend burst into The Love Bean. Now she’s angry at him.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Mother stroked the back of Nadine’s neck the way she always did. “That’s not your problem, is it? If he flirted with you, then it’s all on him. You shouldn’t feel guilty about causing trouble, because their relationship is already problematic. The only thing I care about is you. Is he that important?”
“He’s important to me, but I’ll get over it.” Nadine disengaged from her mother.
“Good.” Her mother patted her shoulders. “I don’t want you to end up like me. Playing number two for half my life only to get passed over.”
“Did you love him? My father?”
“I’ve always said I did, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but you also said he was worth being number two with, that if he and Maggie were truly in love, he wouldn’t have kept you on the side. What changed?”
“I stayed for you, Nadine. He was worth being number two with because he supported us and he paid your school bills. But no way am I going to stand back and be number three.”
“No, you shouldn’t have stood for being number two.” Nadine felt anger surge up her chest. “You once said that men of quality, desirable men, the rich, the famous, athletes and superstars could afford to have many women, and you’d rather be aligned to a superstar than a poor guy who can’t get any woman.”
Her mother winced and blinked rapidly. “I never said that.”
“You did. But I’m not arguing with you. You did what you had to do to keep me here in San Francisco. You always said you were dirt poor back in Tennessee.”
“We were poor. With your father’s money, I can finally go back and lift my head up high. That farm my parents lost? It’s for sale and your dad’s giving me the cash to get it. I can’t pass it up. Will you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive.” Nadine reached for her mother and laid her head on her shoulder. “You put up with Dad for me, and it’s time I got on my own two feet. I’m going to find a job, and my sister’s going to help me. She says I can stay at her place.”
“She did? That’s wonderful.” Her mother squeezed her tight. “I’m going to miss you. We’ve never been apart.”
“No, Mom, we were always together, the two of us against the world.” Nadine felt her eyes swelling with another bout of tears. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“I don’t want to leave you either.” Mom’s throat caught with a sob. “But I understand why you don’t want to come with me. Your life is here. You have your sister and brother and your father. Maybe you’ll finally find your place in the Woo family—a place I never belonged.”
“I hope you’ll find someone who’ll put you first.” Nadine stroked her mother’s hair. “I’ll come visit. I promise, and I’ll write you every day—email you.”
“We can call and talk, or video chat.” Her mother snuffled. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
Nadine sobbed loudly. This would be the last time she cried on her mother’s shoulders. “I’ll always miss you, Mommy.”
Greyheart bumped his head and rubbed between their legs, wanting to be picked up.
Her mother bent and brought the kitten to her cheek, nuzzling him. “You take care of Nadine and don’t get into any trouble, you hear?”
“Meow, meow,” Greyheart promised, flickering his whiskers. Despite being a tiny kitten, at that moment, he took on the mantle of knight and hero, puffing out his little chest to be the one who’d put Nadine first and love her the way she deserved.
Nadine took Greyheart from her mother and let her tears drop onto his fur. She didn’t want to pack, but once her mother left, her father would expect her to clear out also. Hopefully, Elaine would have a place for her to paint and store her art supplies and unfinished canvases. Hopefully, Elaine didn’t mind cats.
Hopefully, Elaine would be the big sister Nadine had always wished she had, and she wouldn’t be so lonely without her mother at her side.
Connor and Cinder jogged through the Music Concourse at Golden Gate Park. The landscaped open area between the California Academy of the Sciences and the de Young museum included several fountains and rows of London plane trees which were pruned so their stumps resembled fists raised in protest. Moss covered the gnarly branches, and tiny leaves budded on the contorted lumpy bumps of the exfoliating bark.
Cinder wove back and forth, curious at every sight, from the elderly men and women practicing tai chi to the sword swinging tattooed man working out, to the groups of tourists taking pictures in front of the fountain. She yipped happily at the passers-by, lunging and straining to be petted.
“Come on, little one.” Connor guided her along the pathway past the Japanese Tea Garden where beautiful cherry trees bloomed with velvety soft petals. The weather had changed and become damp, with a hint of drizzle, but nothing was damper than Connor’s heart.
How could he have been so taken in by Nadine when his heart belonged to Elaine? What did it say about him as a man to be so disloyal to the woman he was marrying?
His heart tugged at the defeated look on Nadine’s face when she’d scurried away under Cait’s scrutiny. Why had
his sister made Nadine feel she was his girlfriend? It wasn’t as if Cait liked Elaine.
Stop it. He wanted to kick himself. Of course, Cait cared about his honor. He was no lying cheat like some of the men he knew. His father loved his mother. His grandfather loved his grandmother. Every male in his family was loyal to the bone. None of them took commitment lightly, and when they were committed, it was for life.
Sure, he’d played around during the drought years when Elaine had broken up with him. He remembered the shock and pain he felt when he’d gone to visit her at Harvard. It was her sophomore year, and she and his best buddy, Rob Reed, were both pre-meds.
It had been a dreary, wet day in Boston. Connor got off the ‘T’, which was what the subway was called by locals, and walked along a path by the Charles River to Elaine’s dormitory. Despite the light rain, crew teams were rowing on the river, and the path was busy with joggers and their dogs. He checked the time to make sure Elaine would be back from classes, resisting the urge to text her. Her messages to him were short and curt, and she didn’t sound welcoming.
Which made no sense since she was the one who had suggested they elope and start a family that summer when she’d been home from school. Connor had been elated and started to hunt for a job in Boston, preparing to quit the Fire Academy. Sure, they were both nineteen, but he was a hard worker, and he was sure he could support his little family while allowing Elaine to stay in school.
Connor followed a student into the dormitory and checked the room numbers. Elaine lived in a suite that had common living room and facilities surrounded by private bedrooms.
When Connor knocked on the suite door, another girl opened it.
“Elaine’s expecting you,” she said with a giggle. “I’m on my way out. Her bedroom’s to the right.”
“Thanks.” Connor held onto the box of long-stem roses and felt in his pants pocket for the ring box. One of the reasons Elaine had been pulling away from him could be that he hadn’t given her a ring. He could only afford a tiny diamond, so he’d begged his mother for her ring and she’d finally relented.
After the girl who let him in departed, Connor stepped quietly to Elaine’s door. The light was on underneath.
“Elaine, it’s me, Connor.” He knocked on the door. “I thought you said to meet you here for dinner.”
Maybe she was taking a nap, or in the middle of a particularly difficult homework assignment.
Connor put his ear to the door and heard creaking noises. That meant she was inside, but why hadn’t she answered the door? If she was getting dressed, wouldn’t she have called out and told him to wait a minute?
He knocked again. “Elaine, are you in there? Are you ready to go?”
The noises increased in tempo. Someone was definitely bouncing on the bed. Or worst. Red anger flared through Connor’s chest. Either Elaine was exercising, or she was with someone else.
Without thinking further, Connor tried the door. It opened easily inward and what he saw froze his heart.
The lights were on, and a partially dressed man covered a pair of legs—Elaine’s bare legs. Even as Connor barged into the room, the man didn’t move, but appeared to be hiding Elaine’s nakedness.
Connor tossed the box of roses onto the floor and with one strong arm, he pulled the man from the bed and slammed him against the wall.
It was his best buddy, Rob Reed, who was busily zipping his fly.
“Connor, get out of here,” Elaine gasped, desperately covering herself with her bedsheets. “I told you it’s over between us. Why’d you bother coming out here to Boston?”
“To marry you, Elaine. That was the plan.”
“No, Connor. The plan changed, and you refuse to believe me when I told you I’d rather stay in school than start a family.”
“I’m getting a job so you can stay in school.”
Elaine snickered and shook her head. “Do you know how expensive it is to live in Boston? Do you have any idea what my tuition is? If I marry you now, my parents will stop paying.”
“Then we’ll take out loans. As long as we love each other, we can make it,” Connor begged, hating the fact that his best friend had betrayed him and was standing there watching his ultimate humiliation.
“That’s the thing.” Elaine stiffened her face. “I don’t love you anymore. I’m with Rob now. Go home, Connor, and be the fireman you were meant to be, and let me be the doctor I’ve always intended to be.”
That had been ten years ago, and since then he’d learned that the entire scene was concocted to get him to give up on their relationship.
Connor’s steps faltered as Cinder tangled her leash around his legs. He pulled his puppy to the side of the trail and sat on one of the benches. His heart ached at the vivid memory. She had said she didn’t love him anymore. She’d chosen to become a doctor rather than marry him and have children—back when she was first diagnosed—when she still had a chance of ovulating and having a child naturally. She’d hurt him deeply, but she was willing to try again, to make up for the lost years.
Connor held his head in his hands, ignoring Cinder for the moment as she licked his elbows and scrabbled up his legs, coveting his pets and caresses. He hurt too much—so much that no puppy, no matter how sweet, could paper over the wounds of his heart.
Elaine had explained that she loved him enough to let him go—that she wanted him to be happy as a firefighter, and not struggling to pay the bills and resenting her for foisting a family on him so young.
Now that she was established, making big money as an orthopedic surgeon with a thriving practice full of professional athletes, she was ready to be his family and give him what he’d always wanted—her true and unconditional love, because she loved him, didn’t she?
He tried to visualize her gazing into his eyes the way Nadine had at the coffee shop, full of devotion and caring. But he couldn’t capture any image other than Elaine staring into her phone. The woman could text and talk to him at the same time. She could check stock quotes and rattle off prescriptions without blinking an eye.
The puppy whined and licked Connor’s hands, and he picked her up. Elaine had given Cinder to him to provide him the affection she was too busy to give. He held the puppy close, and as she licked his face, he let his heart thaw, breathing easier. Elaine did love him in her own way. And all he wanted was to make her happy and give her the love and family she also desired.
Since he loved her, he would accept that her way of showing love was by planning their future and giving him gifts. After all, not everyone could sit around painting and playing with words. Someone had to do the work and pay the bills.
Chapter Eleven
Having a good cry always helped Nadine release tension and get over her own pity party. She dried her tears and kissed her mother. “I have to go back out there and keep looking for a job.”
“You should find an office job,” her mother suggested. “How about receptionist?”
“Maybe that’ll work. Waitressing is out and so is bartending. It’s too stressful worrying about spilling soups and drinks on customers, and you know how I have two left feet.”
“I’ve an idea. You can work for your dad as a receptionist. Let me call him.” Her mother picked up her cell phone from the kitchen counter.
Nadine’s stomach growled at the idea of facing her father’s busy office full of irate customers in pain, but a job was a job, and she had to start somewhere.
She put Greyheart on the floor and scooped a handful of kitty food into his bowl. The poor baby would have to stay in her apartment alone during the day once she started work.
Incredibly, her mother’s call was answered. She could only hear one side of the conversation.
“You don’t want her speaking to your girlfriend? Why?” her mother asked. “We’re talking about receptionist at your office, not personal assistant.”
Nadine’s stomach curdled at how her father put his girlfriend before his existing family. Why was this young doctor so imp
ortant?
“Have your girlfriend call you on your cell phone. Nadine can handle patients. I’m sure she’ll be a good receptionist.”
Nadine waved a hand at her mother and whispered, “Forget it, Mom. He doesn’t want me around.”
Her mother turned, ignoring her and raised her voice. “Nadine is much more beautiful than your girlfriend and you know it. That’s the only reason you don’t want her around. You’re throwing her out of the only home she knows, and you won’t even offer her a job? I know it won’t pay for the apartment, but what else do you suggest?”
Fuming, her mother hung up on her father.
“Mom, thanks for trying,” Nadine said, shrugging her shoulders. “Dad and I have a love-hate relationship. He parades me out to his business associates and has me host parties for him, but now, I guess his girlfriend hates me, so I’m in the doghouse.”
“She’s jealous of you.” Her mother stroked Nadine’s dark brown hair. “You could go into modeling. Maybe you should try a modeling agency. I’ll hire a photographer and get you started.”
The doorbell rang. Nadine was closest, so she opened the door. “Oh, Elaine, hi, come on in.”
Her energetic elder sister cannonballed in, still talking on her phone. “Set him up for physical therapy and a follow-up MRI. Pain meds as prescribed.”
Nadine’s mother came to her side and waited with her until Elaine got off the phone.
“Elaine, this is my mom, Dolly Lee Hunter,” Nadine introduced them.
“Nice to meet you.” Elaine shook her mother’s hand and turned to Nadine. “For once, we’re on the same side. I’ve got a tremendous idea. Do you have a minute?”
“Sure,” Nadine replied. “I was just about to go back out job hunting, but I can do that some other time. Would you like something to drink? Coffee, tea, juice?”
Elaine waved her offer aside. “I don’t have much time, but I’ve got great news. You won’t have to find a job, at least a full time one for the next two years, and you can paint and write as much as you want.”
Spring Fling Kitty: The Hart Family (Have A Hart Book 3) Page 6
