“Roll over, baby.”
She hesitated, but did as he ordered.
“Remember your safe word if it gets too intense for you.”
He slipped the toy between her ass cheeks. She immediately tensed up.
“Take a deep breath and then release it slowly.”
She did as he ordered, and he started easing the plug into her. He moved slowly, making sure not to hurt her. When he finally pressed it past the last ring of muscle, he let go of a breath he hadn’t known he was holding.
“How does that feel?”
“Odd.”
He smiled. "Turn over, but be careful.”
When she was once again on her back, he went to the dresser and picked up the vibrator. “You know the rules. No coming without permission. If you do, I bought a special crop to punish you with.”
She shivered, and he knew that excited her. He could just imagine slapping that generous flesh of hers with the butt plug up her ass. It was just too bad he wouldn’t have time to fuck her ass. He loved it and knew she would too, but it was too soon for something like that. She wasn’t ready.
He turned the vibrator on and slipped it between her legs as he bent his head and took a nipple into his mouth. She gasped when he bit down lightly on the nipple. He did the same to her other breast then rose to his knees. With his free hand, he offered her his cock.
“Take me in, baby. Suck me.”
She easily complied. Shannon loved to give head, and holy shit, her mouth should be considered a lethal weapon. She slid her tongue up one side, then over the tip and down again. As she continued to tease him, she caressed his sac. God, he loved that. He usually had tight control on his sexuality, but with Shannon, he barely kept it under control. Part of it was the attraction he felt for her, the almost overwhelming need to succumb to the need that strengthened every day. He couldn’t seem to understand just how she did it, how with her, he always had to hold onto his control.
He pulled back as he felt his orgasm approaching. Not yet, not when he wanted to push her to her limits.
“You can be so naughty, Shannon.”
She smiled up at him, then it faded when he increased the vibrator’s speed one more level, then pressed it into her pussy. The moan she gave him was one of the sweetest sounds he’d heard in a good long time.
“Remember, you aren’t allowed to come. Not without my permission. You do, and I can promise you that you’ll regret it.”
With every word, his voice deepened and his lust was easy to hear. He was sure she heard it too.
“You are such a responsive sub. I wish we had more time to visit a club. I have a feeling you would like a little public play, wouldn’t you?”
He could just imagine her there, with people watching them, having him spank her. He adjusted the vibrator, giving himself room to dip his head down between her legs. As he continued to hold the toy firm, he pulled her clit into his mouth. She moaned then, and he could tell she was close, that she was barely holding onto her control. Usually, before her, and mainly before tonight, he would push a submissive to the edge, but not over it. He always wanted to show her that she was under her control. But the punishment he had in mind had him pushing her up and over. Kade knew he was going to send her over the edge, but he wanted her to know that she was his.
He flipped a switch higher and pulled her clit between his teeth. She was fighting it. But one more graze of his teeth, and she screamed through her orgasm. She bucked so hard she pushed him off her.
Moments later, he turned off the vibrator and pulled it from between her legs. He leaned down and pushed damp curls away from her face.
“Like I said, you’re a naughty girl. Do you know what I do to naughty women?”
She shook her head.
“You’re about to find out. Get up on your knees, put your hands on the headboard and show me that pretty ass of yours.”
He moved from the bed and placed the vibrator on the top of the dresser. Joining her back on the bed, he had to hide a smile. She was ready to take him on from the scowl on her face. She wasn’t happy with him. He knew he hadn’t been fair. His prerogative.
He slid the crop over her flesh, and he felt the desire surging through him. He liked the way she shivered, the way she reacted. In the past, he had subs who tried to hide their emotions from him. She never did. The connection they’d both felt from the first time they met was always there.
“Now, you might not agree with my methods. I know I’m your first Dom, but I’ve been a little easy on you. Really easy. If…”
He stopped himself. He couldn’t talk about the time they wouldn’t have. Their agreement had been to live in the moment.
He gave her little pats with the end of the crop. Shannon wiggled her ass at him, and he couldn’t help but laugh.
“You really haven’t learned how to behave as a sub, have you?”
She turned her head to apparently answer him, but he wasn’t waiting for an answer. He pulled back the crop and smacked her. The gasp was loud, quick, and so damned erotic.
He smacked her harder and harder, making sure that no part of her ass was untouched. He skimmed his hand over her ass.
“So pretty. I used to spend hours fantasizing about your ass. If I had truly known what it looked like, I would have never been able to concentrate around you.”
He gave her one little smack again, then slipped the crop between her legs, sliding it over her mons before moving away. He needed to get ahold of his control. It was slipping away. Drawing in a few breaths, he counted backwards from ten. Twice. When he finally had control, he grabbed a condom and slipped it on. He’d left her there because he’d liked the way she looked.
Now that he had control, he walked over to the bed. “Come here, honey,” he said, easing her down onto the bed and onto her back. For a second, he couldn’t think. She was looking up at him with those incredible eyes, her need easy to see. She was so trusting. He wanted to do nothing more than to fuck her until she couldn’t remember her name. He barely held onto the savage beast that was clawing at his belly. It wanted complete power. Over her, over him, over the situation. He drew in a breath, pulling his emotions back, trying his best to conceal it from her.
He settled between her legs and then leaned closer, resting a hand on either side of her head. He could smell her arousal. She was so beautiful when she came, so lost in the pleasure. It made him want to do it again and again.
Without closing his eyes, he bent his head and kissed her, slipping his tongue between her lips. When he pulled back, she was smiling, her eyes were sultry, and her face was flush. He rose to his knees and entered her slowly. He wanted to thrust into her with no finesse. But, with the plug in her ass, he couldn’t. It might be too much. She groaned in frustration.
“What? You have complaints?”
“Go faster.”
He smiled at the impatience in her voice. “I am trying to be gentle.”
“Be gentle later.”
He should reprimand her, but he couldn’t. She shouldn’t be telling him what to do. At this time, though, he didn’t care. He just wanted to watch her come again. He started thrusting, slowly, shallow, just enough to build her back up again. She arched up against him, and he knew what she was feeling. With the plug inside her ass, it was tighter. Each thrust took her to another level of pleasure.
Soon, she was moaning beneath him, moving in tandem with him.
He leaned down and kissed her. “Come for me, Shannon. Do it.”
She was already coming by the time he finished giving her the order. Her muscles clamped down tight on him, pulling him deeper into her pussy. He kept moving, pushing himself to the release he had been needing for what seemed like forever.
She looked up at him then. Those green eyes were heavy-lidded, her lips curved, and she cupped his cheek.
“I love you, Kade.”
His heart squeezed as he looked down at her and knew in that moment, she meant every word.
“C
ome for me,” she whispered.
Her voice was so soft, he wasn’t sure he heard her, but he could read her lips. He did then, thrusting into her one last time and losing himself to the pleasure.
Chapter 11
Darkness surrounded them. It was what they worked best in, the one thing he knew that would make it easier to extract the subject. The plan was in place, and as always, there was a backup. But Kade had a bad feeling about this one. Something in his gut was telling him that they should abort.
“Something’s wrong,” Mal whispered. “Really wrong.”
Mal always knew when something was going down. The fact that Kade was feeling it, too, wasn’t a very good sign.
Nothing moved. Not even an animal as they made their way to the rebel camp. It was so fucking hot. He just wanted to get back to Shannon. He wanted to make it out of here alive and go back to the joy he’d shared with her. Then it hit him. It was too quiet. A real base camp would at least have some kind of activity. He held his fist up, telling everyone to halt. It came a second too late. An IED went off several yards in front of them. Mal dropped to the ground and didn’t move. Kade’s heart was pumping hard, adrenaline coursing through him as chaos exploded around him. They all hit the dirt, and Kade crawled on the floor of the jungle to reach his friend. He was happy to find him unconscious with a steady heartbeat. Then shots were fired. He heard Forrester scream out, and he jumped to his feet. He saw a rebel holding his gun to the kid’s head. Kade couldn’t get a good shot off. The sound of the other gun going off echoed through the jungle.
Kade came awake screaming. Sweat rolled down his back, and in the coolness of the room, he shivered. His heart was smacking against his ribs.
“Kade? Are you okay?” Shannon asked, her soft voice filled with sleep and worry.
Still feeling the raw from the dream, he said nothing, just rose from the bed and went into the bathroom.
By the time he returned, she had turned on her bedside light and pulled on her robe.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nothing to talk about.”
She frowned. “You have nightmares every night. Talking sometimes helps.”
“Well, it won’t help me. Just forget it.”
He settled back in the bed. He didn’t want to look at her, couldn’t.
“Have you talked to anyone about it?”
“Let it go, Shannon. I’m not in the mood.”
He closed his eyes but the light remained on. He sighed and opened his eyes and found her watching him. She was still rumpled from sleep, her hair a tangle of curls down her back. With a smile, he set his hand on her thigh. “I do know what will help me sleep.”
Her eyes softened, but she shook her head. “I really do think you need to talk about it. I know having nightmares after a mission is routine, but it’s been months. I know when I talk about mine, they don’t seem so scary.”
He removed his hand from her leg and fought back the panic that rose to his throat. “I’m not scared. Just a messed up dream.”
“If you don’t face your problem how are you going to fix—“
“Is this about you fixing me?”
Irritated and needing space, he rose from the bed. He pulled on his pants.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I should have known you weren’t being truthful. Women are always trying to fix men. You think that you know what’s best for us. I don’t need any help working through my issues. I’m fine.”
The silence in the room had him panicking. When he turned to face her, he was sure he would find her crying, but instead, she was staring at him. Expressionless.
“I was just offering a suggestion, but apparently, I hit a nerve.”
He didn’t like the way she looked now. As if she had shut down. She was normally so full of life. The contrast was stunning. The fact that it was his fault pissed him off even more. He knew it was wrong. He knew he was digging his grave. Still, he went on.
“No, what you’re trying to do is tell me how to live.”
She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. She shut down even more. If she was expressionless before, she was downright icy cold.
“Fine.”
She scooted out of bed and moved away from him. His panic increased, and with it, his anger.
“That’s what’s wrong with women. Always trying to fix us.”
“I believe you already mentioned that. I have never tried to fix you, or whatever you’re talking about.” Her voice was low when she spoke, and he knew her temper was getting the better of her. “In fact, I have walked on eggshells around you since you showed up. It has been only a few days, and I have never asked what was coming up next. Never.”
“You were too busy trying to make sure you took care of me.”
She stared at him as if he had grown a second head. “You’re pissed at me because I cared for you?”
When she said it that way, it made him sound like an ass. He pushed that thought aside. He might only have his pride right now, well not much of it, but some.
“That’s not the real problem, though, is it, you stupid Seal? You want to control everything. All the time. Is that why you can’t sleep through the night anymore? You went on a mission and things got out of control? So you found out you have no power in a lot of situations. Worse, you can’t control me. ”
“That has nothing to do with it.”
“Because I didn’t act like some kind of clinging vine, you had to come up with another reason that I was ruining your life. Fine. Run. Be the coward.”
“What did you call me?” he asked. His temper was growing as the panic dissolved.
“You heard me. I’m willing to love you, give you all my love, but you are being such a thickheaded Seal, you can’t accept that. Fine. Go. Get out of my house.”
“Where the hell am I supposed to go?”
“I have no idea, just get out of my room.”
He hesitated, trying to figure out if she was serious. From the fire sparking in her green eyes, he was pretty damned sure she wanted him to leave. He was just glad she didn’t believe in owning a handgun. He would worry about what appendage she would shoot off.
“Fine.”
Without another word, he walked to the door. Something had his stomach churning, and it wasn’t the nightmare. He slammed the door behind him and walked to the guest room. He knew he was probably wrong. What did his father always say? Men are always wrong if there was a woman involved.
Fuck. He had lashed out at her because of his own issues and hurt her. He walked out into the hall again and stopped at her door. He heard her then, the loud sobs piercing his heart. He pressed his hand against the door, wanting nothing more than to go in and hold her. But it would be false. He wasn’t truly cut out for this. He would hurt her again. And in the end, she would hate him more than she did now.
Feeling impotent, he turned and walked away. Each step he took hurt him more than his damaged knee. Knowing he loved her with every step was killing him, but a woman like Shannon deserved a whole man.
He would never be able to offer her that again.
· · · · ·
Shannon went through the motions of saying her goodbyes. She didn’t like big emotional scenes, not when no good could come out of them. Kade was going to believe what he wanted, and in the time they’d had, they couldn’t work through their problems. And he didn’t want to. While she and Kade barely spoke, she did say goodbye.
“You want to tell me what happened there?” Mal asked when they were alone.
“He’s a pig-headed fool.”
He studied her for a second. “I can beat him up.”
“That’s sweet.” She gave him a kiss. “Your buddy there beats himself up enough. Maybe one day he’ll come to his senses. Though, he is a man. So there is a good a chance that he will never come to his senses. You are the lesser sex.”
He sighed. “Okay, but call me if you change your mind. I can make his life hell.”
>
She nodded. “Stay safe. Please.”
He nodded and gave her another kiss on the cheek, and then strode toward the car. Kade refused to look at her. He had mumbled his goodbyes, but she hadn’t been truly open to conversation with him, either. She watched as her brother pulled away from the curb and said a little prayer for the three men for their journey, and lord, whatever mission they next went on. She walked back into her house, shutting the door and walking to the kitchen. Shannon was cried out. She didn’t think she had another tear left in her.
Her phone rang, and when she saw the eight-oh-eight area code, she frowned. It was the middle of the night for her sister.
“What are you doing up?”
“No hello, Jocelyn? I miss you.”
Her chest clutched and near tears formed in her eyes. “I do love you, you know that, you idiot.”
Jocelyn sighed. “Malachai called. You need to talk?”
She sniffed. “Yeah, I do.”
She heard someone talking in the background and knew it was Kai.
“Kai said he could beat him up for you.”
Shannon chuckled through her tears. “Malachai already offered, and since they have to spend two days in the car together, he’ll have more of a chance.”
“So tell me about it.”
She wanted to. She wanted nothing more than to sit down and talk to the one person she was closest to in the world. “I will, but I think I want to do it in person. You up for a guest for a couple of weeks?”
“Always. My father-in-law has been testing out his two-stepping on the women at the community center, but he says you are the only one who does it right.”
“I would really like that. I would like that a lot.”
“You make your plans then let me know.”
“Sure. I have to arrange everything at the bar, but I’ll let you know.”
“Love you, Shan.”
“I love you, Jocey.”
When she hung up, she took a deep breath, and before she could think differently, she pulled out the phone and called Simon. She needed to get away, and she needed her sister.
Uniform Desires (Make Mine Military Romance) Page 9
