“Nat just told me my life is shit!”
“That’s not what I said!”
“That’s what I heard!”
“Because cocaine turns everyone into an asshole, that’s why you heard that!”
She pushes me, and I shove back. Pussy Catz wedges herself between us, sweet perfume wafting into angry nostrils on both sides. “Enough! Juniper, you wanna make some money tonight? You wanna get all bruised up before a show? Lose those eyelashes you just spent ten years pasting on? Calm yourself!”
I back off as Juniper Rising steps away, too, snarling at me, “You think you’re so special because you’re good with numbers. I dare you to get on that stage for a night and not lose your damn mind crying!” Throwing her arm out, she points at Paul’s office. “You fuck him in there?”
There are daggers on my tongue. “How many times do I have to tell you, I’m not fucking him! You saw me walk in! That would have to be the quickest lay in my life!”
“So you blew him then!”
“Yeah, that’s right, that’s what I did. You know what, I have to get out of here. Why do I even bother arguing with you?”
“Waste your time on me, you mean? You snobby ass bitch!” She comes at me and I duck, which makes her fly into a clothes rack as Pussy Catz fails to catch her in time.
One of the bodyguards appears, “You guys are ruining the show!”
“I’m gone!” Quick strides take me past his enormous body as I drag shaking fingers through my hair and warn him, “Watch Juniper, she’s bad news tonight.”
Let him focus on her so he doesn’t see how freaked out I am. Paul really scared the shit out of me back there. I knew I was valuable to him, but as an employee, not a paid prisoner. It never occurred to me what I’ve gotten myself into until he acted like some Mafioso. Acted like? I’m kidding myself if I don’t see right here and now that he just made it clear I don’t make my own choices anymore.
Or else.
CHAPTER 13
N ATALIE
I ’m on our balcony at three in the morning when A.J. returns home from his shift at Swinging Richards. He sees the candle I’m burning and pokes his head out. “Hey, what’re you doin’ up?”
“Thinking.”
He frowns and closes the door, taking the other chair. “With a blanket and a lit candle?”
“It’s cold.”
“Candles really won’t warm you up,” he jokes. “Need a fire, or these arms.”
I shake my head. “Don’t, A.J.”
At my expression he tilts his head and leans on his elbows. “What’s going on? You look messed up.”
Paul is his boss, too. How much can I tell my roommate? Can I even trust him to never say a word about this?
Bunching the blanket higher I exhale, “It’s something for me to deal with.”
“Natalie…”
“Please A.J.”
“Hang on.” He disappears inside, returning a second later with his jacket, wool cap, and a bottle of Titos Vodka. “It’s so weird how warm it was today and then the temperature just dropped.”
“Unpredictable Atlanta. Thank you,” I take the offered bottle he uncapped and drink directly from it, wincing at the sharp taste. “Ick, but it is warming.”
“I aim to please.” He takes the bottle, drinks, winces and adds, “Me and you.”
“Rough night?”
“Little slow. It’s always more fun when the place is packed. Get on that, would you? Hey, that was funny. I’m funny, remember?” Handing me the bottle he says, “Okay, what the fuck is up with you. Talk.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?” Reacting off my look his head swings back on his neck. “You don’t trust me? If something happened to you, I won’t tell a soul. C’mon, we’ve lived together for over a year! I haven’t earned your trust by now?”
Sighing I take a sip. “I’m just a little freaked out. Sorry. Yes, of course I trust you, A.J.” Searching for where to start I shake my head, eyes darting around the stars. “I thought I had a chance at a really great job. It would have been short term, but I could have had a really great credit under my belt, then other people would want to hire me, too.”
“You’re talking about the film.”
Blinking at him I say, “Oh yeah, that’s right. I forgot you saw me working on that. Yes, that movie. The director was giving me a shot and now I have to tell him I can’t do it.” My voice cracks so I take another sip and gasp against the burning flavor. “I really wanted this. And don’t get jealous, okay, but the idea of never seeing him again kills me.” Meeting my roommate’s eyes I confess, voice quieter. “I’ve been out here for hours trying to imagine walking away from this and I have this sinking feeling right here.” I touch my chest. “Empty, you know? Just hollow, nothing there!”
He holds out his hand, asking for the bottle. “Okay, first let me process the idea that some other dude knocked your socks off more than I did.” He takes a sip as I cock my head at him.
“What happened between you and I was just sex.”
“You want some more?”
“I don’t want the hangover. You hold onto it.”
“I meant more sex.” He takes another sip, winces and stares at the stars. “Why can’t you do the film? Because you like this guy?”
“Because Paul doesn’t like this guy. He banned me from it.” I flick a fearful glance to A.J. “He threatened me.”
“What?”
“He threatened me. Said if I worked with Max, something might happen to me.”
Searching my eyes with disbelief, he says, “Then you have to drop it.”
“You think? Obviously I have to.” Covering my face I whisper, “All that work I’ve been so proud of has become my jail cell.”
“Natalie, look, I don’t know Paul’s story. The guy seems like a dirty rag someone left lying around. But he’s rolling in the cash, and he’s not alone in this. There’s someone behind him who holds the strings. Don’t mess with it, just don’t. When are you supposed to see this director guy again?”
“Tomorrow. We’re talking about the crew, our next steps in pre-production.”
“Don’t go.” Standing up he says, “I’m not even going to ask you where it is because I don’t want to be connected with this. I’ve got a good thing with this job, and there’s no way I’m fucking it up. You know how much money I made this month?”
“I wasn’t going to tell you!”
“Good.” He heads inside, pausing. “Be smart. You drive a BMW. This year’s model. You want to throw that away?”
“At the cost of my freedom? Yes!”
“What is freedom anyway? You have the ability to buy anything you want with the money he pays you. Save up a little and bam, world is your oyster. Where’s the sacrifice in sticking around, having only one job? You weren’t a filmmaker before this! Nothing’s changed except you opened Pandora’s box and had a look inside. Close it! Walk away from this guy.” Heading in A.J. mutters. “We never had this conversation. I won’t say a word, and don’t you tell me another one.”
The door swings shut.
CHAPTER 14
M AX
“Y ou’re late,” I frown as Natalie walks up to the table I had to fight for at Octane coffee. Her eyes dart around as she takes a seat. This place has been here forever, established during my dad’s day, maybe before that. And since the environment is fantastic for entrepreneur types, we’re surrounded by computers that reflect varying income levels. Either that or some of these people don’t give a shit what we think of their outdated models. But I doubt it.
“I almost didn’t come.”
“Should I be grateful?” I ask with sarcasm. “I’ve been waiting over a half hour. You think I don’t have better things to do with my time?”
“I’m sure you do.”
“If you’re going to be late, call.” I whisk my fingers over the screen and reveal the web page I wanted to show her. “This film, it was suggested to me by Amazon about
six months ago. Watched it, loved it. Really great camera work even though when I did a search—because I’d never heard of it before—it was an indie. First time director. First time cinematographer. So I wrote to him and never heard back, first the director, then Rain, the cinematographer. But last night, opened my email and bam, there he was.”
Natalie’s eyes hold no interest. “And?”
I lean back. “You’re having an attitude why?”
“I’m here. Just tell me what the email said.”
“No.”
She sighs, “Great, well then I’ve gotta go,” stands up, turning on her heel with the full intention of leaving.
I fly out of my seat, hurry to stop her, lowering my voice so we don’t make a scene. “Hey, don’t go. I need you here.”
“You were just upset I was late. You need someone who’s on time.”
She tries to get around me. “Remember how I wasn’t afraid of being naked in public. I’ll strip right here if you try and leave again.”
A smile tugs at her lips. “Don’t charm your way out of this, Max. I’m just not the right person for your project.”
Anxiety punches my veins. “You’re the only one who believes in it! Don’t leave.”
Her eyelashes flicker. “You believe in it. That’ll be enough.”
“No,” I mutter, shoving my hands in my pockets. “It can’t be just me. Come on, sit down. Let me show you this guy’s work. If you don’t think it’s exactly what this movie needs, then go. Because I think he’s perfect. Come and sit with me, Natalie. I don’t want to do this alone.”
Sucking on her lips she nods and we head back to the table. It’s like dragging a kid to eat their vegetables. She sits with that look on her face as I play sections of the other film on silent. “His name is Rain. He’s Korean and super talented. Look at the subtle lighting he used on this breakup scene? Pretty great, right? Even on mute you can feel what they want to convey.”
Natalie leans forward, sucked in by the imagery. “How do you know this isn’t the director’s work, his idea?”
“Because he wrote back first and told me. Gave credit away for this and a few other scenes I loved. That’s what I need, someone who can take a seemingly normal moment and make it beautiful. Isn’t he great?”
“What if Rain doesn’t want to D.P. your film?”
I blink, a smile flashing. “Look at you, knowing the jargon.”
Her eyelashes flicker with a hint of pride. “I told you I studied hard for this.”
Challenging her I lock onto her, leaning closer, “Then why are you trying to sabotage it?”
She glances to the computer, voice restrained. “Look, I want this. I do. Maybe it will go nowhere but I can’t help but think something might come of this film, Max. Maybe I’m just naïve. I’m beginning to think I’m crazy. But I really want to work on this with you.”
“Great! Then what’s the problem?”
She mutters, “Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Yeah right,” I lean back in my chair, legs spread as we stare at each other. “Fuck it.” I lean close again, close as I can get over this table. “Natalie, I was about to say if you want to go, leave, but I don’t want to say any of that! You didn’t do all that research because you don’t care. If you’re pissed we hooked up again and you want to make it very clear that’s never happening again, fine I get the message. I got it when you didn’t want to meet today and tried to cancel on me three times! But don’t bail on this. When you get bit by the bug, like all us filmmakers do, you can’t ignore that. I need someone on this movie who doesn’t care that it’s crazy to do it. I need someone who will back me up with the skills I don’t have. I need you.”
Chewing her lip she flicks her glance to the side. “How do you know I have the skills?”
I blink at her, shoulders slumping. “Oh I know what this is about. Your boss told you I called him, didn’t he? Natalie, look at me.” She meets my eyes with her chin taut. “Hey, I was going to tell you I did that.”
“After.”
“Yeah, after. Look, this is my money on the line. I needed to check your references just like with any job.”
Her eyes widen with vulnerability, and it’s the first time I’ve seen this ballbuster take her guard down for real. “You should have warned me.”
It takes the steam right out of my defensiveness. Rubbing my face I admit, “I’m sorry. You’re right.”
“Why didn’t you?”
I stare at the floor a second. The truth isn’t easy to admit but I’m not a man who runs from it. “It wasn’t easy to call him. I didn’t want to, so I guess, I don’t know…telling you first would have made it more real.”
She frowns, confused. “You didn’t want to call Paul?”
“No.”
“Then why did you do that, Max?”
Clearing my throat I rub one palm up and down my thigh, a nervous tick. “I was trying to be smart. This money, I saved it myself. I needed to know you were who you said you were.”
Her frown smooths out. “Oh, that’s…of course you wanted that.” Fiddling with her bangs, her head drops. “After we had sex it was more appropriate for you to tell me you were going to call. Given me a heads up. I don’t know if it would have done any good anyway.”
“You could have given me a false number.”
“The phone number is on the website.”
With no way to deny that she’s right I exhale, “I didn’t want to do it. So I handled it badly. I’m sorry. Natalie, I really want you on this project. I need you here.”
“You know I’m here willingly, right?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t you be? There are no chains on your feet.”
Glancing to the computer she absently touches the keypad. “Just checking.”
“We never talked about rate.”
She shakes her head, quiet and not like herself. “We need to meet at your place, or mine if I know my roommate is gone. My boss doesn’t like that I’ve taken on another job.”
“Whatever you need. But what about money, your rate.”
“Just pay me when it makes money. I’m going to help this fucker fly and when I do, I want a percentage.”
With gratitude I grab her arms. At her expression, I let go and hold my hands up, “Sorry. No touching. But what if it flops? What then?”
Her eyes steel. “That’s not going to happen. Now tell me what he said in the email.”
Excited, I lean over to open it up, watching her eyes widen when she realizes that he’s read my script. “See that, he knows what he’s signed on for. He wants to come on board. Hey, did you read my script?”
“I did. It’s what made me get in my car today.”
“My film is supposed to be made.”
She locks onto me with this fierce look in her eyes. “You know what? I think so, too.”
Leaning close I say, “Then that’s all I need, Natalie. Me…plus one other person who believes.”
CHAPTER 15
N ATALIE
M ax has worked around my schedule, only showing impatience once over the last couple of weeks when I couldn’t meet with him for three days straight.
We did crew interviews at his loft, and have gathered who we need. It was interesting meeting people who work behind the scenes. Some were clearly not good candidates—odd how they weren’t the least bit prepared or even on time.
I love Rain, the cinematographer, also called the Director of Photography—D.P. for short. He laughed a lot and with the talent he showed in that film Max showed me, plus a couple others he pointed us to, I’m excited he’ll be behind the camera.
A few locations have been locked down, too. Max and I drove around Atlanta discussing scenes in his script, debating if this park had the right vibe, or if that underpass suited the tone for when the lead characters meet a drug dealer there, when things begin to turn bad.
Now we’re on our way to his cousin’s apartment to talk with Eric about using it for one of the firs
t scenes. I’m sipping the pumpkin spice latte Max brought me when he picked me up. I made sure A.J. wouldn’t be home. It’s been a nail-biting balancing act. Sitting in his Jeep I couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t ask to come into my apartment. He’s been so great about respecting my space…and hasn’t touched me. That part I’m having a tough time with.
I said I wanted to keep things platonic, but spending all this time with him under these conditions—hashing out ideas and solving problems—it’s been stimulating on many levels. Even without the excitement of being a part of something so new, I’d crave his touch.
I’ve been watching my back, and I wish I could lean into him. Hide in his arms for a while.
There have been so many lingering glances. He always opens the doors for me and insists on helping me out of his Jeep, which feels comforting considering the secret I’m carrying.
But I have to take his hand during those moments and it’s gotten to the point where I don’t want to let go. Such a struggle to remain distant on the outside when on the inside I’m anything but.
Paul asks about him, has on several occasions. My nonchalance has been convincing as I’ve repeatedly lied to his slimy face. I dropped the project. No, I haven’t heard from him. I keep telling you I’m not working for anyone but you, Paul. I love it here.
“This is the place,” Max ducks his head to look up at the skyscraper through his windshield, green eyes catching in the sunlight. “Wren should be here, too.”
“Is that his wife?”
“Yeah, I officiated the ceremony.”
Surprised I ask, “You married them?”
“Don’t look so shocked,” he chuckles, jumping out of the Jeep and walking around. Opening my door he offers me his hand and teases, “I’m not the devil. I just fuck like him.”
A grin flashes as I place my hand on his and climb down. “Thank you for the reminder.”
Max gazes down in my eyes, smiling, “Anytime.”
We stare at each other a hot beat, and I step around him and tilt my head to check out the building, and catch my breath.
Max Cocker (Cocker Brothers Book 15) Page 6
