“You said there were several reasons to trust you. This is huge, I’ll grant you that.” Jadon’s voice is low and measured, as if it’s taking everything in him to carry on this conversation. “Name another.”
“I’ve realized I’m in love with your sister,” Luka says it to Jadon, but when the words are out, he looks at me, his eyes gleaming.
I feel like my heartbeat is going to pound me into the ground.
“I know I don’t deserve her in any way, but I love her and I’ll do anything to protect her.” This time he’s facing me when he says it, his voice soft.
“Even sleep with your ex-girlfriend?” Jadon asks coldly.
My face heats, but I can’t look away from Luka. He swallows hard.
“I’m not proud of the things I did to get to the truth. I was being watched night and day, I had to make it look convincing. It felt like the whole world was my audience and one wrong move would wreck all the progress I’d made.”
His eyes are pleading with me now. “This isn’t the time or place, but when you fully hear me out, I will fall on my knees and beg your forgiveness…or anything else it takes.” He clasps his hands together and I realize they’re shaking. He clears his throat. “I didn’t think I could trust Nadia at first. Once I realized I could, she began helping me and it made the difference. She is an ally, but that is all. She’s one-hundred-percent clear on my feelings for you.”
I have a lump in my throat that I’m trying really hard to ignore. I look at the ceiling and will my tears away.
“Eden has my support in whatever she decides. She shouldn’t have to subject herself to you or your family for one second longer.” Jadon’s crystal blue eyes level Luka and for someone who is unfailingly kind, he looks like he could kill Luka with a single thrust of a sword.
“I agree. I will do whatever you wish, whether that means moving on with the divorce, or worshipping the ground you walk on for the rest of my days.” A faint smile touches Luka’s lips, but he quickly sobers. “I didn’t feel I could explain until I had enough proof to put my father away and the assurance that you were safe. I haven’t felt that until now, with my father behind bars. The country of Niaps is already in the process of overthrowing him and I will be sworn in this weekend.”
“You’ve given us a lot to consider,” Jadon finally says. He looks at me, his eyes questioning, but I can’t form a rational sentence yet.
He loves me.
His father killed my father.
His father tried to kill me.
He loves me.
Not Nadia.
Could that really be true?
“I’d like time to look over this folder. I’m grateful you brought it—I recognize that you wouldn’t have had to and did so as a show of good faith. Thank you. It’s still really hard to swallow that my sister is married to the son of the man who killed our father. That will take time to work through, for all of us. Whether Eden ever can is up to her.”
Jadon stands and opens the door. Luka and I both stand up and walk out. I hesitate after Jadon shuts the door and Luka touches my arm.
“Can we talk?”
“I really don’t know what to say. I’m…stunned? If that’s even the word? This is a lot to take in and I want to believe you, but you’ve kept me in the dark for so long. Any word or clue in this time would’ve helped…”
“I thought begging you not to sign the papers was a clue. I thought the way I looked at you spoke volumes…I worried I was being too obvious. The dinner here—torture. I knew the way I looked at you would give me away, so I just…didn’t.”
I start walking toward the sunroom.
“Can I?” He falls into step beside me.
I nod.
“When I left here and returned to Niaps months ago, I realized almost immediately that my room was bugged. I left them in place and tried to use it to my advantage. But that meant things with Nadia went further than I wanted them to.”
I grit my teeth. “I’m sure that was very difficult.”
He turns me toward him and his eyes are fiery. Not with anger but maybe something like righteous fury.
“I’m too young to have trouble in that department and yet I did. I managed to keep her happy up until a certain point and then she started wondering why I wouldn’t seal the deal…do you really want to hear this?” His voice sounds agonized and I glare at him.
“No, I don’t want to hear this, but I think I have to,” I snap at him.
“I was afraid, Eden. Your father was dead. My father was getting careless and I was so afraid of what he’d do next. I didn’t want to leave the house for fear of missing something important, so except for the rare outing with her, all of my interactions with Nadia were at the house. When she started wondering out loud what was wrong with me, and I knew we were wired, I did it…I had sex with her. I’d do it again if it meant saving you.”
“How noble of you.”
He grasps both of my arms and puts his forehead against mine. “No one has ever been in my heart before. No one. Until you. You have buried yourself down into the depths of me and there is nothing I can do to get you out. I’ve tried. I resisted. You know better than anyone how long I resisted. But you are in every moment I breathe. Your face, your skin, your body next to mine infused with me…there’s no escaping. I didn’t want to run from it when I left you to go find out the truth, and yet it was agonizing to play a part after I’d come to that realization. All I wanted was you. I swear to you. And no one could tell you that better than Nadia. Whatever it takes, I want to prove it to you. Will you give me a chance?”
I back away from him and his hands drop to his sides.
“Is she pregnant?”
Chapter Forty-One
I walk away, suddenly not sure if I want to hear his answer. I walk into the sun-room and he’s right behind me. When we get inside, I realize my mistake. In my bleary state this morning, I didn’t hide the painting of him. In the middle of the ocean, the castle, the farsynthia fields, Luka’s likeness stands front and center. He stares at the paintings, walking closer to inspect every detail. When he gets to the one of him, he shakes his head.
“I can’t believe how talented you are. Your artwork should be in museums for everyone to appreciate. I feel like I’m in the presence of greatness.” He turns around, and the sincerity in his eyes shakes me. “No, she’s not pregnant. I’ve only ever gone bare with you. Ever.”
I let out a deep exhale.
“It was the last card in my hand. I was getting desperate to wrap things up. He mentioned often the fact that if you’d been pregnant, it would have been perfect—sort of the only hitch to his plan, so to speak.” He scoffs, a disgusted look on his face. “There’s no way in hell I’d ever let him get close to our child.”
My blood heats when he says those words and it’s as if he knows. He reaches out and his fingers skate across my arm.
“Turns out I didn’t need it. The phone records were in my hand right after that headline went public and it was exactly what we needed.”
“You must have gotten closer to Nadia through all of this, though. I can’t believe that you’d have sex with her, go through all of this, and not have feelings for her.”
“I didn’t keep having sex with her—it happened once before she wanted to know what the fuck was wrong with me. I took her to a hotel and told her I’d pay her to keep her mouth shut. She didn’t want the money,” he adds.
“This is all hard to believe. She’s one of Mara’s best friends. Mara has been dying for the two of you to get together all this time. The way Nadia looked at you when we were at school and in the photos—even when I saw her in person last—I don’t buy that she doesn’t want you.”
“She’d actually met someone she really liked before I came back. She thought she was in love with me until we were together again, but I’m not the same person I was when we were together, and neither is she. I needed her help and feel bad for manipulating the situation. I’ve apologized to her
for that. She was relieved when we didn’t work—honestly, she was. Hopefully once she explains things to him, they can work it out. And she’s willing to talk to you too, if you ever need more answers.”
I twist my hair around a finger and tug. He stills my hand after a few minutes and steps closer. “I know it will take time, but do you think you can see a future for us? Do you love me even a little bit?”
Every time he says the word love, my heart jolts and I feel the need to grab onto something before I go down.
“Sometimes we love, but it’s to our detriment. That’s how my love for you has felt—painful, one-sided, and incapacitating. It hasn’t been a healthy love.”
“If you know my love for you is true, do you think that could change? That the…love…you feel for me could be perfected and grow?”
“I don’t know.” My lips tremble and I put my head in my hands. The tears that have been barely hanging by a thread, pour out of me, and he’s there to witness my ugly spiral.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, taking me in his arms and holding me.
I stand there for a long time, enjoying the strength of his arms around me, feeling his heartbeat against mine. I’ve missed him so much. When the air between us intensifies, I lean back and he bends down, his lips brushing against mine. I want to kiss him back, I really do.
“I can’t do this.” I push him away. “I need time.”
I walk to the door and he stands there surrounded by my artwork and the sunlight. I wish I could paint the look on his face right now. It would be the most beautiful piece yet.
“I understand,” he says quietly. “I’d like to have a chance to speak to the rest of your family, but even after I go home, I will be there waiting for you. Praying with everything in me that you will find me when you’re ready. I need you by my side, Eden. There is no obligation for us to be together anymore. That ended long ago. This is between you and me. You are the one I want. And I hope to God I’m the one you want. I’m ready to work hard to build your trust in me. For as long as it takes.”
* * *
I leave him there and run into Brienne on the way to my room. She takes a look at my face and follows me inside. I sit down on the bed and she stands in front of me, waiting. Eventually, I tell her everything, and she paces as she listens. When I finish with our talk in the sunroom, she smiles.
“You’re smiling? Why? I haven’t decided anything.”
“I think your heart decided long ago.” She ducks when I throw a pillow at her and laughs as she dodges the second one too. When she makes sure I’m not throwing another, she crosses her arms over her chest. “Do you want to believe him?”
“With everything in me.”
“That’s a good start.”
* * *
When my mother comes into my room a few hours later, I take one look at her face and know Luka managed to weasel his way into her heart. Her eyes are dreamy and she sits down on the bed with a sigh.
“He risked everything to bring the truth to light and to keep anything from happening to you…it’s such a brave risk he took!” She clutches her throat and wipes a few tears away.
“It doesn’t bother you that it’s his father who took Father from us?” I can’t keep the incredulous tone out of my voice.
“Of course it does.” She turns to me and takes my hand, her tone softening. “We don’t have a say about the family we’re born into. By doing the right thing, he risked his whole future and proved himself to this family. I could lump him in with his father and hate him with the same hatred, or I can thank him for his sacrifice. I choose to be grateful.” She pats my hand. “And when he talks about his love for you, I believe every word he says. You’ve won his heart, Eden. The love of a woman can change the worst of men. And you do love him, don’t you?”
My eyes well with tears and spill over. She clutches my hand tighter.
“Don’t spend too much time mulling over everything that’s happened. He’s made mistakes, big ones, but I believe he did them for the right reasons.” She stands up and walks to the door, turning around to look at me once more. “Anything worth saving goes through a few battles first, it’s just the way of life. If you decide to fight for this man, the biggest battle will be behind you, no matter what you face.”
I stand up. “I need to see him. Where is he?”
“Oh sweetheart. He left, not even an hour ago. I thought you knew that. He said he wanted to see you again but thought he’d done enough damage for one day.”
I sit back down on the bed and cry until no tears are left.
She pats my back and when the tears begin to ease up, she says, “There, there. He is staying in town for a day or two though.” She gives me a sly grin.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” My voice is hoarse from crying.
“I wanted to see how invested you are…” She nods. “I think he stands a good chance.”
I wipe my face. “When did you get so twisted?”
She leans against the wall and laughs. It’s the hardest I’ve heard her laugh since Father passed away. I smile in spite of myself.
“I wanted to know if you truly love him. Love breaks you apart and puts you back together. It wouldn’t really be love if it didn’t. Go and see him.”
“I can’t. Not yet. But I will.”
Chapter Forty-Two
I don’t go.
Every time I take a step out of my room to go see him, I think about all that’s happened. Maybe it’s denial or maybe it’s acceptance, but for two days I’m paralyzed.
On the third day, he knocks on the door and Brienne lets him in. She comes to find me in my room and I’m standing at my window, having seen him get out of the car.
“Prince Luka is here to see you.”
“I saw that. What does he want?”
“Other than wanting to see you, I’m not sure.” She smirks when I growl at her. “Why don’t you come and find out?”
“The women in this household are conspiring against me.” Everyone but Jadon has tried to push me to go see him; he’s stayed steadfast about me deciding for myself, and that’s why he’s my favorite. I smile and turn so Brienne can’t catch it, but I’m too late.
“Hurry. You’ve made him wait long enough.”
“Ava told me to make him suffer and then changed her tune after seeing his swoony face. You’re all a bunch of turncoats.”
Brienne shrugs. “He is a beautiful man…and quite convincing.”
I roll my eyes and check in the mirror to see if I should really go out like this. I look like I’ve spent three days crying.
“Don’t—” Brienne taps my shoulder. “He should get a look at what you’ve been through too. You saw him—he looks like he’s been through a war. You’ve been right there with him.”
I groan again and shuffle out the door, making my way slowly down the stairs. I wrap my arms around my stomach and feel it grumble with hunger pains.
I step into the living room and he rises when he sees me, rushing to stand in front of me. His eyes are full of concern and he stretches his hand out but drops it at the last second.
“You belong with me,” he whispers. “Tell me you know it’s true.”
I swallow hard and nod. “I know it’s true.” I close my eyes and he touches my face, pulling me closer.
His shoulders sag and he takes a deep breath. “I wanted to come in here, demand that you come home with me, but I’m not your king, I’m your lover, your fool, your forever if you’ll have me. I’ll do anything to make you happy.”
“Do you really mean that?” I whisper.
“I don’t give you my word anymore because that hasn’t meant much…but I plan on changing that. One day you will believe me because I will give you my everything. Starting now.”
He puts his hands on my face and lowers his head to kiss me. I stand on my tiptoes to be level with him, wrapping my arms as tightly around him as they’ll go. His hands roam my body like he’s becoming reacquainted in fast for
ward, but it’s still not fast enough.
Someone clears their throat just as he’s picking me up and I’ve wrapped my legs around his waist. I pull back, drugged. Jadon stands in the doorway with his hands on his hips.
“Working things out, I take it. You have my blessing, but for the love of God, take it to the bedroom.” His eyes are twinkling as he says it and he laughs when I flush and bury my head in Luka’s neck.
Luka grins and we walk past Jadon. “Thanks, brother,” Luka says.
He carries me to my bedroom, having to pass my grinning mother, sister, Brienne, and every other employee who works at the house, along the way. Once we’re in my room, he shuts the door and leans me up against it.
“Is this really happening right now?” His eyes are light and smiling and he looks the happiest I’ve ever seen him. He’s looking at me like he loves me.
I pull his mouth to me and kiss him hard. Our kiss is a promise, it answers every question that still lingered.
He sets me down and gives me a slight push backward, his eyes already doing their drag down my body. His fingers slide my loose top down my shoulder and he unbuttons the top two buttons that cause it to slide the rest of the way down. The skirt is simple to tug down too and he looks pleased with himself when I’m standing there in my panties and bra. I point at his clothes and he grins, getting right to work undoing his pants.
“Are you ready to be thoroughly fucked?” he whispers once he’s taken off his shirt. He steps forward and undoes my bra with one flick of his fingers, grinning when it drops to the floor. “I’d like to take back that statement about not being your king...in the bedroom.”
“Oh? You think you can be demanding in bed and get away with it?”
“Take off those panties and lie back on that bed. Let me see what I’ve been missing.”
My pulse races and I bite down on my lip to keep from smiling. I do what he asks.
Downfall: Kingdoms of Sin, Book #1 Page 23
