by Trey Parker
They were turnt up. Latoya was dancing to every song, shaking her ass like no one was looking, all three of them were. At 2:05 a.m. Latoya felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She turned around.
It was a waitress with a receipt in hand. “Whose card are we going to use to pay?”
“Ummm,” she reached in her cleavage to get her debit card. “Here.”
The waitress went away. Latoya went back to partying.
Ten minutes later. Latoya felt another tap on her shoulder. She turned around. It was the waitress again.
“The card declined. Do you have another?” Latoya’s heart dropped.
“That doesn’t make any sense. I for sure have money on that card,” she replied.
“Well, I tried like three times. It declined each time.”
“Hold on.”
She pulled out her phone and logged into her Bank of America app. She was going to prove to her that it was money in her account. And. Oh shit. Negative $175. Latoya knew better. Those damn overdraft fees. That $1200 that she had gotten from Dexter, she spent it all that fast. Again. She was broke. She tapped on Tina’s shoulder and she turned around and she handed her the receipt.
She looked at it. “$650. Are we splitting this?”
“Yea, but my card isn’t working,” Latoya replied.
“Card not working? Toya, you reserved this booth. You dragged me out tonight. Don’t pull this shit on me today. Did you even tell Wanda how much we had to pay? I’m only splitting this three ways.”
“Tina, just take care of my share for me. I’ll pay you back.”
Tina shook her head. “You know what. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it. I’m only doing this because your graduating and I’m your mentor. I love you, but if it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have paid a dime.”
“Thank you, Tina.” Latoya gave her a hug.
“That’s what friends are for!”
Latoya Ashley Robertson! The announcer said as she walked across the big stage with 6-inch heels tapping the stage like a true boss chick. It was the best feeling ever. The first person to graduate from both high school and college. Yep, first generation student! She grabbed her diploma with pride! She had a smile bigger than Texas. Looking in the crowd to find her Grandma Betsy.
“I’m an official graduate of Clark University!” they hugged as they finally saw each other outside of the ceremony.
“You’re a big girl now! I’m proud of you Toya!” Grandma Betsy said.
“Thanks Granny!”
“So, what are you going to do now?”
“I’m going to find a job like everyone else I guess,” she rebutted.
“You don’t have one lined up yet?”
“No, I don’t have one yet.”
“Didn’t I tell you that you needed to be applying while you were in school, so that you would get a head start.”
“You’re right Granny, I just wanted to finish so bad that I was just focused on my exams and stuff.”
“Ok, baby. I just want to make sure you’re making all the right decisions that will help you succeed that’s all,”
“I know, Grandma. I get it.”
“You’re 24-years old now with a college degree. So, it’s time to be more responsible and more disciplined. It’s time to learn how to take care of yourself.”
"Ok, Grandma."
"It’s time for you to wake up. Toya.”
"Ok."
“Wake up!!"
"Ok!" Latoya said as she jumped up and sat up from her bed. Her phone was ringing, it was Grandma Betsy.
"Aren't you supposed to be going to graduation? Clark is graduating today and I haven’t gotten any type of invitation. You told me that you were supposed to be graduating in the spring.”
The dream seemed so real. She had been lying to her grandmother for the longest. Telling her that she was on track to graduate. But this time she had went too far. All the way up until the actual day. She had gotten so far that she couldn't even keep up with her own lies. Five years in school, $120,000 in student loans. And still she wasn't even close to getting a diploma.
"Grandma, I'm sorry, but I was wrong, apparently they pushed my graduation back. I need to go to my counselor again..."
"Stop it! Stop it right now! Stop with your lies! This is the third time you've told me that you were graduating.”
“Ok, Grandma. Fine, I lied. I dropped out of school. I don’t attend Clark, I’m just in Atlanta looking for a job.”
"Dropped out of school? After all that I had invested in you, and this is how you repay me? I know that Leah’s death was hard on you but that didn’t mean you had to give up.”
“College ended up not being for me, Grandma. And plus, I’m doing fine in Atlanta. Everything has worked out. I’m living with my boyfriend now and he’s rich. He doesn’t want me to work. But I just might get a job to bring in some extra income.”
“Latoya. I just want the best for you. I just want you to be better than your mother and I. I’m worried. I’m praying for you.”
She hung up.
Latoya was supposed to meet Tina and Wanda at the Cheesecake Factory in Buckhead at 3 p.m. but Latoya was running late. She still had to do her makeup and get dressed. It took way longer than she thought. She was Ubering there because her car was at the repair shop. The engine in her 2002 Camry was acting up because she had forgot to get her required oil changes. She was going to pick it up from the shop soon but not right now because money was tight. She was waiting for Dexter to pay for it, or he may just pay for a new car all together. She could’ve easily just got one of her other sugar daddies to pay for it, but she had cut them off. She wanted to be faithful to Dexter now. So, she was carless for now. But she didn’t mind Ubering everywhere...because Uber was attached to Dexter’s credit card.
The energy was different about her friends when she walked into the Cheesecake Factory. It was 3:45 p.m. when she got there. She could tell something was up. She could tell that they knew.
“You sobered up yet?” Wanda asked as she pulled up the chair.
“Yea I’m fine now,” Latoya said.
“Good. Because we need you to have a sober head for this sober heart to heart that we’re about to have,” Tina said.
“What are you talking about?”
“LaToya. For once, can you be honest with me. Were you really supposed to graduate today?”
“Yes. Like I said I overslept because I was drunk. What part do you not understand?”
“Ok. It’s just funny how your name wasn’t on the pre-printed graduation program,” said Wanda holding a folded program.
“Let me see,” Latoya grabbed the program. “I told them that I didn’t want to be on this shitty program,”
“Please Toya! Why do you have to lie to us! We’re your friends! Just tell the truth!”
“What is this? A meeting to bash me or something? This is why y’all wanted to meet?”
“Toya, Please don’t take this the wrong way. We are your friends. We care about you. We wanted to meet because we’re concerned. As your friends, we’re concerned about your behavior recently.”
“Behavior? What have I done?”
“Where do we start. Toya you’re in the club three times a week. You lie to me about the silliest things. You lie to us about graduating from school? You’ve been in school for over 5 years. Plus, let’s face it, you’re broke. Every time we go out somewhere, we’re paying for you.”
“I always eventually pay y’all back though.”
“Yes. With a married man’s money. Not yours,” Wanda replied.
“Oh, you’re going to bring my man into this?”
“That’s not your man! He’s married!” said Tina.
“Dexter is not married calm down Tina. He’s engaged. You know I met him at the club during his bachelor party, we’ve been in love ever since. That’s why he’s been pushing his wedding back.”
“That’s what he tells you? Toya you can’t be that gullible. W
hat makes you think he’s going to be faithful to you if he’s cheating on his fiancée now? If you take her position, that means your position will open up,” said Tina.
“He won’t. He loves me. I love him. He doesn’t love her, and he’s just trying to figure out a way to end shit with her. Listen, Dexter and I have been out of the country together numerous times. I can’t count how many times we’ve been out together. We pretty much live together. We’ve been dating for two years now. It’s impossible for you to understand what we have.”
“Tina, I’m not going to lie, That’s a fine man right there. I don’t blame Toya. 6’5”, African, chocolate brother. NBA player. Rich as hell. I wouldn’t mind being his side chick either,” Wanda said with a smirk.
“Don’t call me a side chick Wanda, I’m his lover.”
Wanda and Tina laugh.
“You’re his lover alright. He loves-her, not you,” said Wanda.
“This must be gang up on LaToya day. Neither of y’all should worry about me because I’m going to handle my business. So, save your concerns.”
“I just want the best for you LaToya. That’s all.”
“I won’t be needing anything from either of you. But thanks for the offer. And as far as college and graduating, I didn’t tell the whole truth about that. I’ll admit that. But I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about me. I got this. As a matter of fact, I’m not really even hungry anymore. I’ll talk to y’all later,” Latoya pushed away from the table, got up and started walking towards the exit. Tina and Wanda looked at each other.
“Come on. Latoya come back! Don’t be so sensitive! We’re just keeping it real,” Wanda yelled across the restaurant.
“Let her go. Don’t chase her. She’s hard-headed. She’s going to have to learn the hard way.”
They both watched her walk out the door.
Latoya was angry but she was still hungry. She ended up going to the nearest Chick-fil-A. She was sitting at Chick-fil-A minding her own business, eating a chicken sandwich, brainstorming on what the hell she was going to do with her life. Contemplating her next move and trying to figure out how she would prove both Wanda and Tina wrong. Then someone walked up to her table. She could not believe her eyes.
“Long time no see,” Lisa said.
It was Lisa Smith. The old friend that used to hang with her, Tina, and Wanda. The last time she saw Lisa was a year ago, and that was when Lisa was trying to give her a black eye. She didn’t know what to expect. Latoya was not prepared to fight today.
“Oh, hey Lisa,” she said awkwardly.
“Something told me to come to this Chick-fil-A today. Do you mind if I sit?”
“Um. Yea girl go ahead,” Latoya shrugged.
She sat.
“So how have you been?” Lisa asked.
“I’m ok. But check this out. Let’s be clear. I don’t want any problems. I just want to let you know that I’m still sorry for what happened with Terrence and I.”
Lisa looked at Latoya and began laughing hysterically.
This bitch must be crazy, Latoya thought to herself. “What’s so funny?” Latoya asked.
“Girl. I am sooo past that whole situation. I’ve grown so much, spiritually, since then. If anything, I hope you forgive me for my actions. The way that I acted that day at that restaurant was just a reflection of my level of consciousness at that time. I wasn’t mentally strong. I’m just here to say hello and to catch up.”
“Oh ok. Well, all is well with me. I’m still hanging out with Wanda and Tina. I just left them actually. They’re doing well. How are you doing?”
“I’m better than ever! You know I had to break away from everything and everyone to do a little soul searching. I left corporate America. Well, I didn’t voluntarily leave, they fired me after the sex tape incident between Tory and I. I hated everyone after that. You, Tina, Wanda. Everyone. I hated the world. But now, things are different. I forgave myself. I forgave you all. I’m at peace now. I’m a fulltime life coach, and I started my own non-profit TEA CUP which stands for: Tribulation, Embarrassment, and Adversity, Creates Unprecedented Power. I started it to mentor and uplift battered women ages 14–35 and it has been taking off. I have over 100 women actively in the program now.”
“That’s good for you. Seems like everyone is making something happen. I’m happy for you. I’m not doing much of anything new right now. Nothing as exciting as what you have going for yourself. Just focusing on getting a job. Probably will be working in healthcare as a nurse or something. I’m not sure yet.”
“Was that your major in school?”
“Ummm. Honestly, I don’t want to talk about school right now. I didn’t finish school. I’m doing whatever I have to do without a degree,” said Latoya.
“I understand. Don’t worry, your time is coming too, girl. Just stay focused on yourself and God will create a way for you. He has something special in store for you, I can feel it.”
“I’m sure he does. Thank you for that.”
Lisa pulled out her business card and handed it to Latoya. “Well, I’m going to let you finish your food in peace. Remember that I’m a life coach so if there’s anything that you need to talk about, feel free to reach out to me, free of charge. Remember, whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone. Somebody has been there, and someone can help. Just ask. It was good seeing you, especially since the last time we saw each other I was trying to kick your ass. This may sound weird but, I feel like God wants me to look out for you. I will keep you in my prayers. As a matter of fact, what’s your number. I’ll do a better job at keeping in touch.”
Latoya hesitated for a second but she gave Lisa her number. As soon as Lisa left, Latoya threw Lisa’s business card in the trash. That was the most awkward interaction ever. She said “free of charge” as if Latoya would ever consider paying for someone to tell her about her life. She wouldn’t pay a dime for her services. Girl please. That was a joke. Plus, she didn’t want Lisa calling her and trying to mend whatever friendship that she thought they had before. That ship has sailed. She didn’t care what type of spiritual journey she has going on. She didn’t want any more friends in her life. Especially if they’re just going to judge her like Tina and Wanda were doing currently.
She finished her Chick-fil-A and just sat there in the restaurant. She began thinking about what Tina and Wanda said about her relationship with Dexter. Feeling some type of way, she figured that she would call him and express herself.
“Hey you,” Dexter answered.
“Sooo. I haven't heard from you in awhile, where you been?”
“I told you that I had been busy. Schedule has been crazy. We’ve been practicing a lot to get ready for the playoffs, but what’s up, what do you need?”
“You know my car is still in the shop. I haven’t had my car for a week now. Are you going to pay for it to get fixed or are you going to buy me a new one?”
“Oh yea. About that. I have some other finances I have to take care of first. It’s going to be awhile before I can pay for that.”
“Other finances? This must have something to do with April huh?”
“Not at all. Nothing to do with her. And if it did, why would that matter anyway?”
"It matters. Because, it would mean that you would be choosing her over me. Again. I see where your priorities are. Where are you anyway?”
“I’m headed home. Why?”
“Well I’m coming over,” said Latoya
“Where, to the main house?”
“Yep,”
“What are you talking about!? You know that coming to my main place is off limits.”
“Is April there?” Latoya asked.
“Yes. She should be. Why?!”
“So, what are we going to do? Remember you promised me that we’d be together after a couple of months, And that you’d be kicking her out. Well what happened? I want us to live together, I'm getting restless over here..."
“Well, I still need time. This is not an easy pro
cess for me Toya.”
“Well what can I do to make it easier for you? Because I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of getting strung along, Dexter, like some puppet.”
“Toya. Stop it. You have to know your place in this whole thing.”
“Huh. Know my place? The side chick? Right? That’s what you really wanted to say.”
“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Oh, I know what you mean. Trust me. I’ll show you my place.” The call ended. Latoya hung up.
Upset. Latoya called an Uber to Dexter’s main house. That was the most forbidden action that she could ever take. She knew that, but she didn’t care. Her and Dexter had an agreement for her to never show up to the main house where his fiancée lived.
Latoya’s Uber pulled up to the brick paved driveway that led to the mansion. The Uber driver looked at the mansion, then looked at Latoya. “This is your residence?” he asked.
“Yep. It’s mine,” said Latoya with no hesitation.
“Impressive,” The Uber driver nodded.
There was a BMW in the driveway. Latoya strutted up to the front door. Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong! She waited. Still no answer. After two minutes, she heard someone come to the door.
“Can I help you?” A short cute girl opened the door.
“Yes, you can. Is Dexter home?” asked Latoya looking past the woman and inside the house.
“Um no. He should be home in a bit. What do you need with him?” asked April looking Latoya up and down.
“You’re April, right?”
“Yes. Why?”
“I’ve heard so much about you. Well, not to bust your little bubble but Dexter and I have been talking for 2 years now and we’ve been trying to figure out a way to kick you out. He wants to dump you but he doesn’t know how. He’s going to be looking to have me as his fiancée.”
April chuckled and smirked.
