by Trey Parker
“That sounds like Tina. She definitely has OCD,” said Latoya.
“Well what about you? You big time now! What do you do?”
“You know what I do Wanda. Don’t act stupid.”
“A dancer, right?”
“Yep. I WAS a dancer. But I’m not anymore. And if you want to judge me about it and try to give me a sermon on it I don’t know if we can go back to being friends.”
“Girl. Judge you? If I could’ve lost about 75 pounds I probably would’ve been dancing right alongside you!”
Latoya laughed.
”You got you a boo yet?” Wanda continued.
“Well. I do have a new boo. His name is Taq. We’ve been together for a couple of months now.”
“Oh shit! What’s the tea on him?!”
“Well. Just know that he’s fine as fuck. He loves me. He’s willing to do anything for me, and he takes good care of me. That’s all that matters,” said Latoya eating her food.
“Amen to that. He must be a little hood, huh. Toy, I know you like them hood,” said Wanda giving her a shrug.
“You know I do. But other than that, all is well with me. When I was living with Tina, I was at rock bottom, lost, fighting to find my path in this life. Broke as fuck. But things worked out. My path may not be the traditional path that someone would take, but at the end of the day, I’m still proud of me for making something out of nothing.”
“And I’m proud of you too. Give me a hug!” said Wanda.
1
NAKED HUSTLE
1
NAKED HUSTLE
32. Surprise Party
One year later
She had a feeling he would forget. Just like any man. Taq is no different. It was their one-year anniversary and she hadn’t heard from Taq all day. She was sitting at home angry, contemplating on what verbiage she should use when she viciously, but respectfully curses him out whenever she sees him. She finally received a text from him at 9:30 p.m.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m home about to go to sleep. Why?” she said.
“Did you eat yet?”
“Nope.”
“Good. Put your best dress on in your closet and be outside in 30 minutes.”
She almost pissed on herself she was so excited. She hopped up, took a shower and did exactly what he said. However, it took her longer than 30 minutes, more like 45 minutes. She got outside and there was a butler standing outside a Mercedes truck. He appeared to be a chauffeur.
“Toya, pleased to meet you, I’m Devon,” he opened the door for her and she hopped in.
“Where are we going?” she said.
“You shall see,” Devon winked.
They pulled up to Pappadeaux. Latoya’s favorite restaurant. The parking lot was empty. Devon walked her to the front door where she saw Taq waiting.
“You remembered!” she said walking up to him.
“How could I forget?” He gave her a hug and kiss.
“Why is the parking lot empty? This place is always packed.” she said looking around.
“Because we bought it out for tonight. This is just for me and you. The waiters are ready to serve us,”
“You are too much! This is crazy!”
“Crazy for you, my love!”
They entered the restaurant. There was a small band playing soft, slow music for them. The host had them seated.
“Taq, I can’t believe you did all this for me. You probably did some similar shit with some of your hoes back in the day. Don’t lie to me.”
“Girl you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Why would I do such a thing. No one else deserves shit like this. You know how much all this shit cost?”
“No. I don’t wanna know, because I know this is cutting into our profits. I just want to enjoy it. Pat will probably freak out when he looks at the numbers and finds out what you spent here.”
“First off, No he’s not. Business is booming. We’re making more money than we ever have. Secondly, Pat knows that my woman gets whatever she deserves. Thirdly, I know the owner so we worked out a pretty good deal.”
The waiter brought out crab cakes.
“Here’s your appetizer. Hope you enjoy,” said the waiter.
“Grab your silverware. Let’s dig in,” said Taq.
She grabbed and unwrapped her silverware. She almost fell out of her chair when she saw what accompanied her fork. The biggest diamond ring that she had ever seen in her life. It shined so bright, it felt like the sun was in her eyes for a second.
A videographer came out and started filming. All the employees gathered around. The band began singing Let’s Get Married by Jagged Edge. Taq got on one knee.
“Latoya Robertson, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You are my world, and now I can’t imagine living this life without you. Will you marry me?”
Her life flashed before her eyes. There was fear that came across her heart but also, faith. She chose faith.
“Yes!” she said with a tear. He slid the ring on. The videographer filmed them hugging and kissing! “I’m getting married y’all!” She said to the camera holding up her ring.
A waiter walked up to the table. “Congratulations to you both,” the waiter said.
“Thank you!” they said.
“This is a really beautiful moment and I really hate to spoil it but, Taharq Taylor. You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you!” The waiter was pointing the gun at Taq and pulled out his badge.
The band stopped abruptly. All of the employees pulled out their badges. And held their guns out. “Hands in the air!” they shouted.
Taq put his hands in the air. He shook his head. “Y’all have fucked up big time,” he said.
“What the fuck is going on Taq?!” asked Latoya.
“Calm down. Keep your mouth shut. Everything will be fine. Tell Pat to call my lawyer. I’ll call you as soon as I can.”
They put him in handcuffs and walked towards the exit.
“Latoya Robertson, can you come with me please?” some officer said.
“Where are y’all taking me?”
“Don’t worry. Today, we’re taking you home...for now. Come,” the officers said as they escorted her into the cop car. It was a silent ride home until she got to Pat.
“Pat?! What the hell is going on?! Why did they arrest him?”
Pat paced back and forth. “Don’t worry about it, Toy.”
“No! Pat. Don’t do that! If you respect me, then you’ll let me know the truth. This is my fiancé that we’re talking about now. Stop hiding shit from me. You always do that.”
“I don’t want to tell you because you’re going to panic.”
“Fuck panicking! I’m panicking because you’re not letting me know shit!”
“They are trying to indict him for drug trafficking.”
“Ugh! Trafficking?! This can’t be life,” said Latoya plopping on the couch as if she was about to faint.
“He’s going to be fine. They have nothing on him. Plus, we have the best lawyer in the land. He’ll be out in no time,” said Pat with confidence.
“You sure?”
“Positive. We’ve been through this before. Everything will be fine.”
“Well, how long will he be locked up?”
“Not long. I’ll keep you updated on everything. Just lay low for a while. Always let Poison and I know when you come and go. People may try to make a move against us since Taq is locked up. We have to be smart.”
1
NAKED HUSTLE
33. Touchdown in the DMs
6 months later
It had been six months since Taq had been arrested. Pat and Taq were becoming less and less confident on when they believed Taq would get let out. Latoya was becoming impatient.
She never checked her DMs on Instagram. Bu
t since Taq had been locked up she was lonely and bored. She had time on her hands. So, one day, she looked through all of her direct messages. Most of the messages came from guys who looked either thirsty, broke, lame or all of the above. But there was this one direct message from a guy named Manny Davis. It was about a week old. The message read. “Just wanted to let you know that you’re gorgeous,” Latoya saw the little blue check mark showing that he was verified so she was guessing he had to be a somebody.
She started looking through his pictures and then she realized that he was fine. Very muscular. Six pack, big chest. Big arms. In a lot of pictures, he was working out so he had his shirt off. He had a nice smile. Was dark-skinned with a lot of tattoos. She could tell that he was a football player for someone, but she didn’t watch sports so she had no clue of who he really was and who he played for. She would never do this if Taq was out of prison, Taq would kill her. But she decided to respond to his message.
She simply responded “Hey.” Then she went and liked two of his pictures just to show him that she was interested. He responded back, and the conversation eventually led to them exchanging phone numbers.
Manny was a football player at the University of Michigan. Apparently, he was a damn good one too. He was an all-star running back that everyone knew. Manny’s schedule was super busy but periodically he and Latoya would text each other and facetime each other here and there. Maybe twice a week, for a couple of minutes. Not as much as she spoke with Taq though. She spoke with Taq every day, multiple times a day. She would never talk to Manny one day without speaking to Taq in that same day out of respect.
Two weeks after they exchanged numbers, Manny tells Latoya that he wants to fly her out to Detroit to celebrate the fact that he was entering into the NFL draft. A draft party it was. He said that he was planning on getting drafted in the 2nd round and he wanted all of the people that he cared about there. At first, she was super skeptical, but she was so bored with herself and lonely that she needed to get up and do something. She was still doing club appearances but she had nothing to do during the day except for work out and go shopping. And if she was going to do any dirt, it damn sure was not going to be in Atlanta. The city is too small so she needed to be as far away as possible. Detroit was perfect.
She arrived at Detroit Metropolitan Airport at approximately 10:00 p.m. He had a driver waiting for her at the curbside with a huge sign that read Latoya Robertson. The driver then took her to the Ritz-Carlton. Manny texted her and told her that he had a suite and that she needed to check in at the front counter. She did just that. She went up to the 27th floor, room 2790. She could hear the music from outside. She knocked twice. He opened the door. He had on an all-white suit along with a big white smile. Latoya was pleased that he was finer in person than he was on Instagram.
“You made it!” he yelled.
“I made it,” she responded.
“Here, let me grab your stuff. Come in, everyone here is like family don’t be shy.” He reached for her bags and motioned her in. There was about five guys there drinking and talking loud.
“Hey y’all. I want to introduce y’all to my friend, Latoya. She came all the way from Atlanta to see me and to celebrate with me!” He carried her stuff into his main room. She could feel the guys’ eyes penetrating her as she followed Manny into his room. He closed the door behind them.
“Damn! Finally! You know how long I’ve been trying to shoot my shot with you to get you to notice me?! For a damn long time!”
“I know. I noticed you, but I was just so busy and tied up with the shit that I had going on that I didn’t need to respond. It would’ve just confused things.”
“And you probably got so many DMs unread that you skipped over mine, huh?”
“Ha ha. I do have a lot of DMs. But I didn’t skip over yours. I was just in a relationship at the time.”
“And you’re single now?”
“Ummm. I’m just living life right now. I’d rather not talk about it. Enough about me, let’s just talk about you! You’re the man of the hour. So, who did you end up getting drafted to?!” asked Latoya.
“You didn’t hear about it?! I was drafted by the Buffalo Bills!”
“Congrats! That’s great!”
“Yes. It’s always been my dream to play in the NFL since I played in pee wee league. And now I’m here! Dreams do come true!”
“They sure do! And you deserve to celebrate.”
“You God-damn right I’m about to celebrate. And you’re going to celebrate with me! I just became a multi-millionaire! So, get dressed! Now what type of liquor do you drink?! You name, we got it!”
“Do you have Patron?!”
“Say no more. Of course, we do!”
Latoya had the room and bathroom to herself as she got dressed. Afterwards she joined everyone in the common area and took multiple shots with everyone.
Club Ecstasy
Everyone was hyped. VIP was popping. They had multiple VIP sections. Latoya and Manny had their own VIP section and his friends were in the VIP next to them. Random people kept coming and introducing themselves to Manny and congratulating him. Latoya was super drunk. She was finally comfortable.
As the night went on, Latoya and Manny’s vibe grew stronger. Around like 1:00 a.m. two new girls joined Latoya and Manny in the booth. They spoke to Manny and gave him a hug. They didn’t acknowledge Latoya at all. Manny acknowledged them and then started pouring them drinks. Latoya kept making eye contact with one of the chicks. The girl was sizing Latoya up the whole time. She was also being overzealous, shaking her ass, talking loud, and being super dramatic.
The chicks got up and told Manny that they would be back and left the booth.
Manny turned to Latoya, “You ready to leave?” he asked.
“It’s up to you. You’re the man of the hour,” Latoya shrugged.
“Let’s go.” Manny grabbed her hand and headed towards the door.
Latoya wasn’t planning on having sex with Manny. BUT. SHE. WAS. HORNY. And she hadn’t had sex in a long time. Manny was innocent to her. No one would know. And he was a college kid that just graduated and was just looking to have fun.
The Uber dropped Manny and Latoya off at the Ritz. They were both sloppy drunk. His phone was blowing up.
“You have the hotline I see,” said Latoya
“Yea. I need to change my number now. It’s just everyone sending me congratulations texts and trying to join on the Manny Davis bandwagon now, that’s all. I’m about to turn it off.”
He slapped Latoya ass as he walked in the room.
“Mmmmm Hmmm. Look at all that cake back there,” Manny said.
Latoya turned around and faced Manny while pointing her finger directly in his face, “Hey, what you’re not going to do is disrespect me. We can have fun but keep your hands to yourself.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just super excited that you actually came to see me. Plus, I get touchy feely when I’m drunk.”
“Plus, it’s not your birthday so you can’t get this cake,” said Latoya playfully.
“Girl, every day is my birthday,” he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close.
They locked lips. Feeling on his big arms turned her on. He began to take her dress off. They were both naked, in seconds. His body was amazing. Big chest, six pack, strong shoulders. He looked like he lived in the gym.
He was aggressive, just as a football player would be. He threw her on the bed.
“Get on all fours. It’s time to eat some birthday cake.”
She listened and shifted.
He grabbed the inside of her waist, slightly lifting her up.
His tongue did a nose dive in her vagina. Then he started doing backflips with his tongue inside her. His saliva and the fluid dripped down her leg like a faucet that hadn’t been completely turned off. She loved the feeling.
Then he turned her around and got on top of her. She felt like he shoved a bat in her stomach. He started punishing her vagina. It wa
s painful pleasure because Latoya hadn’t had sex in awhile. She screamed but she couldn’t help it. He voraciously stroked for about five minutes until they both had an orgasm and fell asleep.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.
She woke up and looked at her phone. It was 8:30 a.m. and someone was banging on the door. Room service, she thought. Latoya got up and went to the door.
“We’re fine. We don’t need any room service right now. Please do not disturb,” said Latoya in a drowsy voice.
“This ain’t no fucking room service! Where is Manny?!” a girl said.
Caught by surprise, Latoya rubbed the morning crust out of her eyes and looked into the peephole. It was the girl from the club that was in their VIP booth. With a little baby boy in her hands.
She went to the bed to wake up Manny. He was snoring. She tapped him on the shoulder.
“Hey. Manny, wake up. There’s someone at the door. The chick that was at the club. She’s looking for you. She sounds upset.”
“Let her in,” he mumbled still half sleep.
“What?! So, she can come in here and raise hell? Who is she? Manny is there something you need to tell me now?”
“Just let her in. That’s just my baby mama. She ain’t gone do shit,” he said still not moving.
“That’s not the point Manny! I didn’t know you had a chick! Nor did I know you had a child. If I would’ve known that, last night wouldn’t have happened.”
“Well, you didn’t ask. And besides, she’s not my girl. We just have a kid together that’s all. Let her in.”
