by M. N. Forgy
Both of us pant, as we eye each other. Expelling years of things we’ve wanted to say but never got the chance.
Looking the other way he swipes his wet hair from his face, he can’t even stand to look at me and it hurts more than anything he could say.
A scream sounds from the distance, and my head whips in the direction. It’s close. I look around trying to see where we are, what part of Chicago we’re in.
“We need to go,” Camden’s voice goes serious. His hand pressing on the small of my back in a protective manner.
“No, I’m not getting back in that car with you.” I pull from his hand.
I can’t get back in that car knowing how much Camden dislikes me, knowing that our chances of getting together will never happen. I knew over the years the likelihood of that happening were slim. I thought he’d move on and get married, or at the very least we’d never run into each other again. But seeing him now, I can’t lie- I want to be with him again. I never stopped loving him.
“You get in the car, or I will put you in the car,” he threatens.
I raise a brow, as the scream sounds again. It’s bone chilling, and has me double thinking my stubbornness.
“Fine!” I throw my hands up in defeat and stomp off.
Getting into the car we don’t make eye contact, there’s no stolen glances even. It’s intense, and I’m literally counting down the miles ‘til we get to Chloe’s place. I’ve told him everything. Why I left? Why I came back? It’s up to him if he wants to forgive me, or be angry.
Driving into our neighborhood I point at Chloe’s house.
“Pull in there.”
“Why?” He looks at me with concern, I’m sure he’s curious why I’m not having him drop me off at my dad’s. Though my dad and I not getting along shouldn’t be anything new to Camden because he witnessed how damaged our relationship was before I left. That is one of the reasons I came back to Chicago. I miss what I had with my dad. I want to fix what is broken, I just don’t know how.
“Dad and I aren’t seeing eye to eye, so I’m staying with Chloe.” Not that it’s any of his business. If he’s so done with me, why does he care?
He shakes his head and pulls into Chloe’s driveway, the expensive car purring as it stops.
“Let me guess, he’s pissed you came back. Does he know you’re back in the gym?” he questions. I can’t dive into this with him, I’m emotionally done.
Glancing at Camden I grab my bag, refusing to answer him and get out.
Once inside I watch Camden pull out of the driveway, but instead of turning around, he stops at his parents’ place, and that’s when I notice the moving truck parked out front. My stomach twists. Is he moving in?
My hand touches the glass as I look the familiar scene over.
It looks just like the day he moved into our neighborhood and changed my life.
Chapter Ten
16 Years Old
Camden
Sitting on my front steps I watch the cars leave Tate’s house. Her mom passed away yesterday and family has been there every second of the day.
I left my window open last night in case she needed me, but she never came. I’m trying to give her time to heal, but it’s killing me.
Grabbing my old baseball cap, I slip it on and head toward the train tracks behind our house.
“Hey Camden!” Stopping, I turn and find Felicia with some other girls.
“Oh, hey.” I give a wave.
“My parents are gone tonight, you want to come over?” She twirls her hair, and bats her eyelashes. She knows Tate is my girl, she also knows Tate is going through a lot. It’s no secret around school she puts out, and I would be a liar if the idea of getting laid hasn’t crossed my mind. But I want Tate, she’s making me work for it. But she’s worth it.
“Nah, I got plans.” Tugging my cap down, I continue toward the tracks.
Pushing past the brush, I spot Tate propped up against the large tree that sits close to the tracks. She’s rifling through the crate of magazines I pulled from the garbage for her last year. Everything else was ruined from being inside the garbage can, but her dad just set those beside it.
When I showed her I saved them, she let me touch her boobs. Let’s just say sex has been on my mind since then.
“Hey.” I sit down next to her.
Her sad eyes find mine, and my chest squeezes. She’s beautiful. Her hair is in a beautiful braid, and she’s wearing a tight black dress.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress before.”
She looks down at herself, and giggles. Her soft laugh turning into a downright cry.
Oh shit, what do I do?
“I hate it!” Her fingers tense as if she wants to wring someone’s neck, she’s angry. She’s hurt and angry and I wish I could take her pain away. “People who never even talked to my mother have been here for weeks. My dad forced me to style my hair like this and wear this stupid dress.” Makeup I’ve never seen Tate wear smears down her cheeks. She may not dress like this on any other day, but one thing is clear. Tate is not a little girl anymore. She’s becoming a woman. She stands and starts tearing at the fabric and my eyes watch her closely. “My mother knows I hate dresses, she wouldn’t make me do this. She wouldn’t want this!” Before I can think about the words coming out of her mouth, she has stripped down to a tan strapless bra, and matching panties.
My penis instantly goes hard.
“I’m just…” She falls to the ground, her knees smashing into the rocks. “I’m so tired of being sad.” Her eyes slowly find mine.
“Camden.” Her words come out sultry, and I have to wipe my eyes to make sure I’m hearing her right, that this isn’t a dream.
“Yeah?”
“Make me feel something, make me feel good, make me feel pain, just something besides this numbness that has taken root in my chest.” Her hand fists right above her tits.
She crawls over me, her knees straddling my lap. I rub at the back of my neck anxiously, not sure what to say or do.
“I’m ready,” she whispers.
Cupping her cheek, I thumb her bottom lip.
“Are you sure you want to do this now?”
Her eyes fall as she thinks it through. Then bright green eyes flick to mine.
“Yes.” She sounds so sure.
Scooting back, I find a patch of grass and situate us to where she’s under me. Her braided hair starts to dishevel with the cut grass sticking to it, and her cheeks flush.
Using my trembling hand, I pull the cups of her bra down and her firm breasts greet me with bright pink nipples.
My balls squeeze with a tingle so intense I feel it in my stomach. When I touched her boobs before, it was over her shirt. This is skin on skin. She looks a mess with her frayed braided hair, smeared makeup, and swollen eyes from crying. But God if she doesn’t make messy look beautiful.
“Touch me,” she asks lightly.
Without a second thought, I grab her breast with both hands. She moans, and rocks herself onto my leg.
Leaning down to kiss her, she leans up at the same time and we butt heads.
“Ouch,” I laugh, rubbing my forehead.
“I’m sorry, I’m nervous.” She blows out a ragged breath.
“We don’t have to do this,” I reassure her. I want this, but not if she’s not ready.
“No, I’m ready.” She grabs my cheeks making me look right at her. “I’m ready, Camden.”
Lowering my head I kiss her plush lips, before taking her mouth fully. She tastes of salty tears and stolen wine.
My hands swim down her curves before finding her panties. My heart beats wildly as I sit up to pull them down her legs. I can’t help but look between her legs. I can’t believe this is going to happen, I’m finally losing my virginity.
“Do you,” her voice cracks, “do you have a condom?”
Frantically I search for my wallet.
“Yeah, I have one.” She eyes me suspiciously as if I have be
en carrying a condom around for any girl to have sex with.
“I’ve been waiting for this day since we were thirteen, Tate.”
She smiles a smile so big I can’t help but smile back.
Ripping the foil, I pull out the rubber and place it on my shaft. It’s suffocating and feels awkward.
Positioning myself in-between her legs again, I nudge her opening and her eyes widen. I still.
“You ready?”
She nods, as she licks her bottom lip. “Wait, Camden?” Her eyes flutter as she looks at me deeply.
“Yeah?”
“If you break my heart, I’ll break your face.” Her voice is so soft I barely hear her, but looking at her face I can tell she is more than serious.
“That’ll never happen, Tate.” I brush her hair from her face, cupping the back of her head so she looks right at me.
Grabbing her hips, I lower my mouth to hers as I slowly push myself inside of her. It’s tight, squeezing me like my hand never could.
She whimpers into my mouth and I slow my thrust. Darting my tongue into her mouth, I capture her cries as I go as deep as I can go.
Opening my eyes, I see hers flutter open. Placing my hands on the ground, I look between us as I slowly withdraw to the tip, finding blood smearing the condom.
I look back up, and find she was watching too.
I continue my slow pace as I don’t want to hurt her. Just as I’m getting my rhythm she reaches up and pulls my hair. My brows pinch together in confusion, and she tugs again.
What the hell?
Fisting a handful of her primped hair for the funeral I pull it and her eyes roll. That… is a surprise.
She tilts her head to the side, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her eyes harden.
“Hurt me, pull harder.” Her words breathy. “Just do it.”
Wanting to please her, I pull her hair harder. Her fingernails dig into my scalp as she pulls mine hard. The pain does something to me, it ignites something so deep I pull hers harder, as if it’s a competition who can jerk whose hair the hardest, and she moans.
I took Tatum’s virginity on the train tracks that day, as she did mine. It wasn’t gentle like you see in the movies, it was rough and on fire.
It was the best day of my life.å
Chapter Eleven
Tate
After running two miles I shower, letting the hot water set into my aching calves. I only had to stop ten times while I heaved for breath. I fell once bruising and skinning my knee, and my toes are aching from my tight tennis shoes.
I’m really out of shape.
Pulling on my sports bra and loose cross back tank top, I head out the door to my dad’s house.
I’m dreading this dinner. It won’t go well, I don’t know why Journey insists on us doing this family thing. We aren’t a family anymore, not since Mom died.
Passing Camden’s parents’ house the moving truck is gone today, but his sexy car is still in the driveway.
Hurt aches in my chest as I think about never being his again. When I moved to LA, it hurt and it was the toughest thing I’ve ever done breaking ties with Camden, I always thought in my head that maybe one day we’d get back together. That hope that had laced itself in my soul was severed last night. Reality punching me in the gut at full force.
I lost the only boy I ever loved.
Shaking my head of the thoughts, I step up the steps of my old house and open the door.
The familiar smell of home hits me along with so many memories heartache fills my chest.
Dad is sitting in his green chair in front of the TV, as dishes clank in the kitchen.
“Hey Dad,” I greet, stepping further into the house. He turns in his seat, his bald head shining with the burgundy lamp beside him.
“Well look who it is.” He bobs his head as his eyes pin me with distaste. Here we go. “Did you realize being a professional boxer was stupid yet?”
“Dad!” Journey steps out of the kitchen. She’s wearing an olive green dress, and her hair is braided with little flowers weaved in. God, she is a tree hugger. But a cute one.
“It’s alright Journey, not all of us can cope with giving up on our life’s dreams.” I fire back.
“Really, is that what you think I did smartass?” Dad tilts his head to the side, a smug look fitting his face.
“Looked like it to me.” I cross my arms, challenging him.
“If your mother…” he starts to mumble under his breath.
“If my mother what?”
“Please guys,” Journey pleads. “Can’t we just have dinner like a normal family for one night?”
Ignoring her, I stop right in front of the TV.
“Mom wanted me to be more of a girl, and Mom may have wanted me to pay more attention in school, but you know what I came to realize… Mom would have supported me in the end! She’d be at every fight, and cheering my name. She was always there before she got sick, and she would be today if she were still here!”
He stands, his face scrunched in anger.
“No, she wouldn’t. She had a girl for a daughter and that’s what she would have wanted, for you to act like a lady! Don’t you see, I chose boxing over her! If fighting was never a part of our lives maybe she’d still be here!“
It stings to think Dad blames himself for Mom being gone still after all these years. Grief and mourning never leaving this family even after all these years.
“She would still be gone!” Tears fill my eyes. His face goes stoic, his eyes that were once so vibrant now ghostly. “She would still have had cancer, and you being away for a week here and there wouldn’t have changed that!”
He sits, rubbing his chin. I’ve never seen him back down so easily. It’s scary.
“Dad, I know it hurts, but you have to let go. If you don’t—”
“I can’t!” His voice wavers, as he stands. “I fell in love with your mother when we were kids. We were supposed to grow old together.” His eyes water, and my heart breaks. “I didn’t do right by your mother when she was alive, I’m just—I’m trying to do right by her now. Raising two girls, it’s not so easy you know.” His voice cracks, as he rubs the back of his neck frantically. I glance at Journey, who is a mess. She is doing drugs and dating abusive men. I’m a college dropout that is a ball of anger, ready to explode at any moment.
We’re a mess.
Biting my bottom lip, I nod and fight back the tears trying to fall from my eyes.
“Dinner is done,” Journey squeaks from behind us.
“I’m not hungry,” Dad croaks, before heading to his room.
Journey wipes her eyes and heads back into the kitchen. As heart breaking as it was to watch my father break, I think it is the first time I have seen him cry about Mom.
“I need some air,” I mutter, wiping my cheeks of spilled tears.
Crossing my arms, I head out the back door. Walking until my feet hit the train tracks. I can’t help but let my eyes sweep to the tree. The makeshift box still there that Camden made to hide my sports magazines after my dad took them away. I wonder if it still contains my magazine collection in it. Wiping the snot from under my nose, I head toward it. Opening the lid the blue crate greets me. I can’t help but smile, and grab the one off the top.
“Everything okay?”
Grasping my chest, I quickly turn finding Camden standing on the tracks. He’s wearing jersey shorts and no shirt. A blue bandanna wrapped around his head.
His chest is defined and literally not fair to the woman race. He looks tough and sexy.
“Camden, you scared me,” I breathe heavily.
“You alright?” Lowering his head, his eyes look at me with concern. He must have heard everything.
Looking back down at the magazine stack I sigh.
“I forgot how thin the walls on these houses are.” Glancing back up, he crosses his arms awaiting my response if I’m fine or not. “Yeah. I’m fine.” Sitting on the grass, I open the old magazine. The pages stick
to each other from old age.
Speaking of houses, I wonder where his parents are.
“I haven’t seen your mom or dad, do they still live in the house?”
“No. Dad had another affair and Mom divorced him and ran off with Aunt Jenny, leaving him the house and the debt. I bought the house before the bank could take it.”
My brows rise at the information. His dad always eyed the women on the block and he drank a lot. I’m not surprised he strayed again.
Camden makes his way to me and sits next to me. The smell of his cologne causing my body to come alive with need. We are sitting in the same spot I lost my virginity. My mind can’t help but drift to sex. I swallow hard and try to focus on the magazine in my hand.
He sits back on his hands, and looks around him before hitting me with a smug smile.
“What?”
“Memories is all,” he shrugs, waggling his brows.
I roll my eyes, I knew he was going to bring it up.
“Don’t get any ideas.”
He laughs. “I chased you once Tate, I won’t do it again.” Inhaling a strong breath through my nose I breathe through the hurt constricting my chest.
“Nobody asked you to then, and I’m not asking you to now.” I play it cool, looking over the pages of the sports magazine.
Silence falls between us, the sound of a train in the distance howling out.
Feeling the conversation has gone south, and I am tired of arguing for the night I stand.
“I gotta go,” I state. Stepping over Camden’s leg I toss the magazine in the box. Trying to step back, my foot catches on the root of the tree and I trip. I fall right into Camden’s lap, causing him to fall on his back.
“Watch where you’re going!” he snaps, trying to untangle himself.
“Maybe if you’d move I wouldn’t have tripped!” Pushing my hands into the dirt my face comes within inches of his. I instantly notice his hard chest under mine and the way one of his knees sits right in-between my thighs.
His warm skin against mine burns a fire right into my core. My nails dig into the dirt and I swallow hard. His blue eyes search mine and for the first time since I’ve been back, I don’t sense anger from Camden.
