‘I was not spying, and yes I have been here a while. I didn’t want to be seen, for my own privacy, but you two came over, nearly stomping on me.’
‘What hurts? What are you talking about?’
‘Loss. Heartbreak. I used to wonder if love was worth it, if those things needed to exist. It seems unfair that such miserable feelings can befall us so often. Love can be so difficult to find ... and so difficult to keep.’
‘Well?’ Leopold prompted after some silence. ‘Is it worth it?’
‘Of course,’ the magician responded. ‘You cannot have love without heartache. They are two sides of the same coin. The alternative would be to have no feeling at all, and that would be awful.’
In his present mood, Leopold could only grunt a partial agreement. ‘Samuel, I have wanted to ask you something for a long time.’
‘What is it?’ the magician replied.
‘You told me that Tulan was once your closest friend. Did you really feel nothing when he died? Is it possible to be that detached from loss?’
‘I felt pain, Leopold. Of course I did. It is certainly possible to make oneself feel nothing, so that emotions bounce off the skin. My quest has made me feel like that on many occasions, but I am not a monster as you are suggesting—not yet.’
‘Could you not have done something to save him, instead of letting Daneel murder him? He was your friend.’
‘Possibly, but I did not.’
Leopold nodded thoughtfully.
‘He would have kept going until he either killed me or someone near to me, Leopold. He was obsessed, driven, and I can’t blame him. He lost everything, his whole country, and he focussed his blame on me. He needed that, to survive. Daneel has changed, too. He had a wife and child, and lost them both to Rei’s Order. Serving me became his crutch, something to keep him going—a hope that their loss could somehow be made up for. Even the good Captain Orrell has seen his share of heartache. He was not always so grim, and Jessicah has relit the wonder in his heart. I am very glad to see it.’
‘Another question then.’
‘Kali?’
‘You read my thoughts?’
‘Sometimes you shout them.’
‘Well, it is more about her kind. If they are so like magicians, why did you not kill them?’
‘That is partly why I went there, Leopold,’ he said openly. ‘I knew of their existence, but not how many remained or what they were fully capable of doing.’
‘Then you decided to spare them. What changed your mind?’
‘Hope,’ the magician stated.
‘Hope?’
‘Hope that I am at least a little wrong. Hope that we will win before the beasts are drawn to them. Hope that once all this is done, they can return to being ordinary people. In a world without magic, they will find themselves not so quick and not so strong, and I hope it will not matter. They may even return to what they were: normal people, capable of love and bearing young. I could have destroyed them just to be safe, and at one time I would have, but I do not want my disgrace to be complete. I did learn something from Tulan’s death. No, I will not kill them. That would be like burning a windmill in effort to halt the wind. This journey has changed me, Leopold, as much as it has changed you.’
‘Do you mean that?’
‘Yes. You have all taught me something—old Salu most of all. I killed his brother but he returned my terrible act with compassion. Everything he experienced was beautiful to him. He took the greatest pleasure in just listening and smelling—the wind against his skin. I think that is why he closed his eyes to the world—to open his everything else. He wanted to savour those sensations with every mote of his worth. No, I could not bring myself to rid the world of its beauty.’
‘Then will you let the world keep its magic?’
‘No. Mankind does not have the maturity to deal with magic, not yet. It is our nature to rely on such convenience and seek more and ever more, but such luxuries lie opposite to wisdom, and deprive us of true strength. The greedy use magic as currency, a power to elevate themselves in status, to wield over others. No, humanity is not ready for magic until humanity itself has changed. At one time we were close, but ...’ He could not finish the sentence and trailed away. ‘The way is always open for magic to be found again, but if I do not hide it now, all this will happen again. I cannot allow that. We have been very fortunate so far, but we cannot rely on luck forever. Mankind requires a change of monumental proportion before we can safely wield such power. Otherwise, we will inevitably destroy ourselves, as has nearly occurred.’
‘So you didn’t leave some agents in Koia to kill them once we left?’
‘I did not. You will have to trust me.’
‘Can I do that?’
‘Everyone has suffered enough, Leopold. I once thought that suffering made us stronger, but it is not so. Suffering eats away at us. Some people become obsessed by it, believing pain produced their strength. But it does not. It is only determination, despite our pain, that makes us stronger, victory despite obstacles, not because of them. That is why I will not tell you that the loss of Kali will make you stronger. It may, but it may not. In reality, the choice is yours.’
‘What do you mean?’ Leopold asked, confused. ‘She was not lost.’
‘I have many powers, Leopold, and one of them was given to me by my demons ... a very much unwanted gift that has eaten away at my heart all my life—the power to see death. Just as the most talented of magicians can see magic—life itself—I see death. I see it coming, a shadow, creeping like a wave of spiders. I saw such shadows upon most of the crew these last few days, and now they are gone. I saw it upon Destiny and Phoenix, and upon Pradmet and Prithamon when I met them, and everyone else who has perished so far. I saw it upon my own mother, long ago.’
‘What are you saying? She’ll die?’ Leopold asked with disbelief.
‘Sometimes the warning is nearer. I cannot say when, but Kali has been marked, Leopold. There is nothing I can do.’
‘How can you say that?’ Leopold declared angrily, choking back tears. ‘How can you abandon her?’
‘I have had this gift all my life, Leopold. I know it cannot be avoided. She will die. If you really want to be with her, then I suggest you use your time with her fruitfully while you can. Cherish her. You will regret it if you do not. She may not feel the same in return, not on the surface, but deep down I am sure some part of her will appreciate it. If that sounds too painful, avoiding her may be the prudent choice.’
‘Damn you, Magician!’ Leopold swore, and he stormed along the deck, kicking the railing as hard as he could. ‘Why?’ he asked, finally calming enough to speak.
‘I do not know why, or how or when, Leopold. Only soon.’
‘What about me? Will I die with her?’
‘No. Not yet. There is no shadow about you that I can yet see, but sometimes it gives me little warning. I can never be sure that someone will not die ... only that they will.’
‘A lot of good that does!’ He racked his brain for ideas. ‘We can hide her in her cabin?’ he suggested suddenly, but the magician shook his head. ‘We can put her into a sleep?’
‘No, Leopold. Nothing like that will prove the faintest bit of use. She will die, Leopold. She will die,’ he repeated firmly. ‘I am sorry.’
Leopold stopped his agitated motion and, much to his own disgust, accepted the magician’s words as truth. Everyone else on board had died. What did it matter?
‘You know,’ Leopold said, sniffing, ‘you were wrong about something. Salu told me you did not kill his brother.’
‘What’s that?’
‘He said you banished him, but that he was not dead.’
‘I had never thought it possible. Anthem ... alive? Still, even if it were so, he would never be able to come back. It would be impossible to find him. Only he knows which realm he had opened. There are infinite worlds to search.’
‘Would you bring him back if you could?’ Leopold asked, rubb
ing his reddened eyes.
The question posed a dilemma for the magician. ‘I—I’m not sure. I think I would have to. Then again, if you thought I had a bad temper, old Anthem was my superior in that as well.’
‘Then perhaps he should stay where he is,’ Leopold proposed. ‘He’s probably giving the demons hell. Perhaps that’s why they’re all trying to get over here?’ And he forced himself to laugh—a skinny, wretched thing that shamed him to hear it.
‘Perhaps,’ Samuel admitted.
‘I guess I have another question for you then.’ At the very least, the change in conversation was taking his mind off Kali.
‘Well ... why stop now? Go ahead.’
‘Are you truly ready to become a god?’
‘That is not a question I can easily answer. Am I ready? I guess I will find out when the time comes. Must I try? Yes. All I know is that this world must be protected. The demons yearn for all life, not just those of mortal men. They would steal the precious essence from the earth itself, until only a cold rock remained. We are creatures of this world, Leopold. We are part of her, and she, us. She is our mother, entwined around us. If we die, she dies, and vice versa. She possesses an energy, much like any living thing.
‘I sometimes wonder if the earth herself has any form of consciousness. Some people have considered it. If so, I would hope she might recognise our plight and come to our aid, but I do not think it likely. For many years I have dreamed of leaping from her, tearing myself apart from her and floating out like a seed leaving the pod. Only then would I truly be my own creature, a navigator of my own destiny, uniting all the parts of my body and mind into one will—that is what being a god really means. It would be truly wonderful, I am sure. Ah ...’ He trailed away, lost in blissful thought. ‘You know, Leopold, no matter how hard we try, there is one thing we can never escape—ourselves. My self is something I have never been particularly fond of. I hope to one day slip away, quietly and unseen and become something else.’
‘Who knows,’ Leopold said, ‘maybe you will be the first?’
They stood at the bow of the vessel, looking ahead. The breeze had turned cool and the air had lost much of its stifling heat.
‘How much longer until we arrive?’ Leopold asked. How much longer until she dies?
At first, Leopold thought the magician was not going to answer, but finally he did respond. ‘I can feel his pull getting stronger. It will not be much farther.’
Toby, hanging half over the rails to watch the water sluicing from the prow, turned to face the magician with a smile. ‘Farther! Farther!’ he called happily, echoing the man.
‘Yes, Toby,’ Samuel replied, ‘not long to go.’
CHAPTER NINE
The Palace of Salt and Tears
EUDA WAS A land of ghosts and Trithi was a city deserted—at least, that was their first impression. On seeing those shores there were no cheers or shouts of excitement from the crew. The Farstride was silent as she sliced through the swell, dropping anchor at a distance where the water remained deep enough for her keel.
All eyes were aimed towards the foreboding stretch of land ahead. There was no movement in the harbour and no people along the shore. Fishing boats decayed upon the banks, filled with silt.
They each took turns with the spyglass, surveying the land for clues as to what lay in wait. The homes looked deserted, abandoned, the buildings fallen into disrepair. No gulls or birds of any kind flew in the sky or waded in the shallow water. No trees or shrubs grew within sight. There was a complete and utter absence of life. Nothing stirred, except the wind in skeletons of dry grass along the riverbank.
Samuel peered anxiously towards the massive white dome that dominated the city. It rose from the middle of Trithi like a mountainous ball of bone, its curved walls reinforced with immense ribbing and interspaced with divots and bulges of unknown function, each large as a house. To see the magician worried was more unnerving than the structure itself.
‘What is that thing?’ Captain Orrell asked.
‘A palace, or a monument perhaps. I do not know,’ Samuel said, his vexed gaze locked upon it.
‘How could the Eudans make such a thing?’
‘They could not. It was made with magic—Poltamir’s work. Listen. Can you hear it?’
They paused, intently searching the silence. Slowly, the signal became evident. From far away, a rhythmical pounding was at work, hanging on the edge of perception. It was too faint to be heard, but it could be felt, trembling through the timbers of the ship, travelling up their legs, reverberating in their chests and within their skulls. Leopold imagined a pillar of lead being raised to a height, dropped and then drawn up again—rhythmically, like a drawn-out heartbeat.
‘A thudding,’ Captain Orrell observed, ‘coming from the dome.’
‘Or from within it,’ Samuel said. ‘It is magic—very potent—and it will become stronger as we near.’
Daneel scratched nervously at the edge of his eye-patch. ‘What is its purpose?’
Samuel shook his head. ‘I do not know, but Captain Merryweather, tell your men to remain alert. If they see anything strange, they should move the ship further out to sea. No one is to go ashore without me in their company—for any reason. That must be very clear.’
Merryweather nodded and relayed the instruction to his men.
‘Come,’ the magician commanded, now directing his attention to Captain Orrell. ‘Let us see what awaits us.’
‘Will that not be dangerous?’ Leopold asked.
‘It will, but I see little alternative. We have come to Poltamir’s doorstep at his request. He has not shown himself or come to greet us. We have no choice but to pay him a visit.’
‘How many men shall we bring?’ Orrell asked, but Samuel dismissed the idea with a sharp flick of his hand.
‘None. It will be only us—yourself, Daneel, Leopold ... and Kali. We can use her skills.’
The sound of her name grasped Leopold’s attention. Was this some attempt to save her? Or was the magician seeking to place her in harm’s way, to prove his premonition correct? No, he corrected himself. I cannot think that poorly of him. I’m sure he has his reasons.
‘Why so few?’ Daneel asked.
‘After Koia I realised a smaller group is easier to protect. And Poltamir is powerful. Soldiers will be of no use here. Captain, ensure your men guard Jessicah closely. She is far from being herself. She was covered in bruises when I last saw her.’ Orrell nodded soberly. ‘I will have the power to help her soon enough.’
To this the grim captain gave the subtlest of nods. The man looked drawn out, tense, not at all his usual self.
‘But why must we accompany you, Samuel?’ Leopold asked. ‘Can you not fly ashore with your magic and remove this final obstacle? Is there no way to kill him without endangering the rest of us?’
‘The battle has already begun, Leopold. Everything here is unknown to us, so our first sortie is to determine what we face. I will only raise my blade once I know where to stab it. I may only have one such opportunity. Also, I would see first what it is that Poltamir offers. He would not call me without desiring to parley first. Finally, with you beside me I am not alone. You have skills and abilities that I require. As you have learned, I am not all-powerful. I can be overcome, and Poltamir knows my limits better than most. I do not doubt he has long prepared for my coming. I have warned him of it for long enough.’
Toby was waiting in the longboat. They plucked him out several times and put him on the deck, each time he scrambled in again, laughing, not realising he was not welcome.
Captain Orrell, Daneel, Kali and Leopold climbed aboard before the boat was eased over the water. It was only as they were lowered that some spark of recognition ignited in Toby and his bliss changed to sadness. He squirmed to be after them, grunting and whining. As they descended the boy disappeared from view, his last look one of confusion.
The boat was bobbing in the water when Samuel dropped into it, landing in his se
at without causing a ripple.
‘Leopold,’ Samuel said. ‘I promise I will not ask any more of you after today, but can you man the oars for us one more time and get us ashore?’
Leopold agreed, feeling an air of finality in the magician’s words. He set himself to the task, ploughing the oars into the water deep and coursing them towards the shore. Unlike the clear waters of Koia, the sea here was black and impenetrable.
The muscles in Leopold’s back contorted and shifted as they did their work and strangely, he felt satisfaction at the feeling. His flesh had grown thick and strong during his time aboard the Farstride. If he could see himself in a mirror, he might be surprised to find he was not the same skinny youth who had left his mother’s side.
‘Samuel,’ Leopold stated, breaking the magician from contemplation. ‘What was the lesson? What was I supposed to learn along our way?’
‘There was no lesson, Leopold. You were well within your rights to be angry, and there were many directions you could have aimed it. I wanted to be sure it was towards me, where it could do the least harm. In that, I was perhaps overly successful. Also, I wanted to guide you, to protect you from the spoils of being Turian, of being their Emperor.’
‘Ah,’ Leopold responded. ‘Was it successful?’
‘I don’t know. If tomorrow comes, would you tend such chores without me looking over your shoulder?’
‘I suppose—if they needed doing.’
‘Then I suppose it worked.’
Leopold nodded. He expected anger or resentment to boil to the surface, but it did not. Such trivialities do not matter, he thought, looking to Kali sitting silently amongst them. This will soon be ended.
****
Daneel took a turn at the oars when they had nearly reached the shore, and he steered them into the calm river mouth, multitudes of small, dark jetties poking out into the water. Every moment, the pounding became stronger, until they could feel it rattling in their bones and their teeth: thump ... dump ... thump ... dump.
The Ancient Ones (The Legacy Trilogy Book 3) Page 46
