by Robin Roseau
“What does that really mean?”
“Tell me something you would never do.”
“I’d never hurt Michaela.”
“All right. Tell me something you wouldn’t do, but not something that would hurt someone. Something small.”
“Like, um. Sing karaoke?”
“Yes, something like that, but something we could do here.”
“Fine. I wouldn’t kiss your feet.”
Carissa laughed. “If Lara ordered you to?”
That question threw Monique for a moment, but she straightened and said, “Fine. I wouldn’t if you ordered me to.”
“Oh, I think you would,” Carissa said.
“Fine. I wouldn’t if Ember ordered me to.”
“Hey!” said the girl in question. “Leave me out of it.”
Carissa glanced to the other girl then looked back up into Monique’s eyes. “Unless you say ‘no’, or the alphas stop me, I am going to compel you, Monique.”
“To kiss your feet?”
“No. To do whatever Ember orders for the next hour. Would that be terrible?”
Monique looked down at her friend then back to Carissa. “No, it wouldn’t.”
“Lara, are you stopping me?”
“This is Monique’s choice,” Lara said. “But perhaps we can ask Monique to tell us what she thinks, when her hour is over.”
Carissa hadn’t taken her gaze from Monique, and so when the wolf nodded, Carissa trapped her gaze. It was clear to me and I thought perhaps to some of the others. They both froze, staring at each other, and then Carissa said clearly, “Monique, when I release you, you belong to Ember. Until Lara calls on you, or until you next sleep, you will obey any order Ember offers you. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” Monique whispered.
“Go to her now. Kneel to her, and you will hear no other voices, not even mine, until after you have completed Ember’s first order to you.”
Then Carissa dropped her gaze. Monique shuddered then turned, walked to Ember, and knelt at her feet, gazing up at her. Ember’s eyes grew wide, and she stared at her friend.
“Young wolf,” Carissa said gently. “Do not abuse this gift, but she will only fully understand if you require she do things she wouldn’t normally do. Do you understand?”
Ember glanced up at the vampire. “I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Which is why I selected you,” Carissa replied. She turned back to Lara and offered a tiny bow. “Alphas.” Then she headed to her seat.
Lara stood back up, waited for Carissa to settle, and then turned her gaze to Ember, who was staring at Monique. “Ember,” Lara said. Ember looked up at her. “She deserves to hear what I’m going to say, so you have to give her an order.”
“What do I tell her to do?”
“You already know. She told you.”
Ember cocked her head then said, “I’m supposed to make her kiss Carissa’s feet?”
“Close. Make her kiss yours.”
“She wouldn’t!”
“Normally, you’re right,” Lara said.
“I-“ She looked down, then back at Monique. “Monique, kiss my foot.” She held a foot out. Monique reached for it and bent her head. It was a brief kiss, but a kiss nevertheless.
“Oh my god,” said Monique. “I couldn’t help myself.”
“Ember, tell her to sit at your feet, and then we can continue.”
“Monique, sit here,” Ember said, pointing at the floor in front of her. Monique got settled, and then Ember hung a foot over her shoulder. “Rub my feet, Monique.”
There were chuckles at that, but of course, Monique went right to work.
“Well,” said Lara. “Vampires are powerful. Carissa, was that as easy as it looked?”
“Yes. The general rule is never look a powerful vampire in the eye.”
“Well, Carissa is certainly powerful. She would be a powerful enemy, but I am thankful she is a powerful friend.” And then Lara called on someone else.
Needs
In my bed, Prudence cuddled against me. “You’re quite good at that,” she said dreamily.
“You’re awfully accomplished yourself,” I said. “Oh, I feel good.”
“Do you mind if I stay?” she asked.
“On the contrary. I’d like it if you did.”
We lay quietly for a few minutes, me on my back, Prudence pressed against my side with her head on my shoulder. When finally she spoke, it was in a whisper. “I haven’t done that for a very long time. In fact, discounting an evening early this fall, I haven’t even kissed anyone like that in a decade and a half.”
“I’m touched,” I said. “Only an evening.”
“A very pleasant evening, but she was for someone else.” She paused. “You are as well.”
“Oh?”
“But you future is muddled. Hers was not. She needed the kisses, and then someone else needed to be brave. But if I’d taken more than kisses, she wouldn’t have been ready to accept the love that was offered.”
“You see so much?”
“Sometimes. I saw them together. They did not know their future was together, but it was clear to me, if only the other would make the right move.”
“And she did?”
“She did,” Prudence said. “Their love lights a room.”
“That’s beautiful,” I said. “And who am I for?”
“I don’t know. She is a shadow.”
“She?”
“You thought it would be a man?”
“Well, not necessarily. So she.”
“Right. But the final one is not next. That is why you are muddled. Someone else is going to need you first.”
“And it’s not you?”
She laughed. “I needed you another way.” She snuggled closer. “And we’re not quite done.”
“Good,” I said.
“You seem very accepting of all this. Most people think I’m a crackpot.”
“New Orleans. Voodoo queens. I never make fun of someone who speaks in riddles.”
Prudence laughed. “Very wise. I have no power, but many others do, and they do not always take well to derision. In my younger years, even I wished I could prove my detractors wrong. It wasn’t until I was older that it wasn’t my choice whether they took my words to heart; that was their choice.”
“Do you have words for me?”
She paused. “Serious words.”
“Tomorrow then?”
“Tomorrow.” Then she rolled on top of me. “I’m not tired. Are you?”
“Not quite yet,” I said with a smile, reaching for her.
* * * *
When finally I slept, I slept hard but woke early, Prudence facing away from me, my arms around her. Discounting Carissa, I didn’t think I’d ever shared a bed with someone her age, but somehow that had been fine. More than fine. I really liked her, as perplexing as she could be. And so I moved closer then shifted my hand and began to rub her bottom.
“That feels very nice,” she whispered. “You may do that for a few minutes, but then there is someone else who needs you.”
“Are we done?”
“No. I will sleep a little longer, and you will bring breakfast to me and feed me.”
I chuckled. “So it shall be.”
And so I rubbed for a while, but I knew when she fell back asleep. I rubbed a little longer then stilled, just holding her. Finally I carefully extracted myself.
The shower felt good, and I couldn’t help but think of Carissa’s story. She told it in a disjoint fashion, but somehow, at least to me, that made it all the more powerful, someone remembering something from long ago and not a rehearsed speech. But she had clearly known where she was going. And so I enjoyed the shower and was glad I was born in this time and not one before running water.
I dressed and then wandered into the common area of the house. I heard small noises from the rest of the house, and there were a few people up. But the moment I saw her, I knew who Prud
ence had sent me to help.
Monique was pacing and wringing her hands, and the moment she saw me, she hurried to me. “Anna.”
“We should go for a walk,” I said.
“Yes,” she said, the word filled with relief. “I’ll get our coats.”
A minute later we stepped outside. It was cold, but Monique didn’t seem to notice. I let her guide us, not saying anything. It was a minute before I knew where she was bringing me, and ten minutes when we arrived at their overlook.
There wasn’t a bench, but there was a natural seat formed by some of the rocks, and Monique stepped over and sat down. I paused then sat down beside her.
“I did anything she told me to do,” Monique said.
“I know. But she was kind, wasn’t she?”
“Yeah. I tried to fight it. I let Carissa capture my eyes, but after that, I tried to fight it. I’ve never felt so helpless.”
“That part can be uncomfortable,” I said. “Do you wish you hadn’t stood up and asked?”
“I don’t know,” she said. She sat staring at her hands for a moment then looked over to me. “Has she ever done that to you before?”
“A few times.”
“Why?”
“I asked her to.”
“I practically dared her to.”
“You did,” I said. “Why?”
She lowered her eyes again. “I don’t know.”
“I think you do,” I said.
“Iris and Lindsey look pretty happy.”
“Carissa never accepts direct donations from anyone under 18 and forbids any of her other vampires to do so, either.”
“I don’t know if I wanted her to bite me,” Monique replied.
“She’s a fascinating woman, isn’t she?”
“She’s a vampire.”
“Lara and Michaela trust her. She’s a fascinating woman, isn’t she?” I didn’t think I should let Monique avoid my question.
“Yes.” She paused. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Because Ember made you kiss her foot?”
“No, because I practically threw myself at Carissa.”
“Ah.”
“And it’s not just the age difference,” Monique added. At that I laughed, but I thought she was whistling in the dark. “God. I thought I outgrew this.”
“This, what?”
“I keep embarrassing myself.”
“How?”
“I used to have a crush on Michaela.”
I laughed again. “Oh, Monique, everyone has a crush on Michaela.”
“You don’t.”
“Of course I do. Everyone does.”
“I don’t see them making fools of themselves.”
“I haven’t seen you make a fool of yourself.”
“I did with Carissa.”
“I disagree,” I said. “But I meant with Michaela.”
“Well, I sort of got over it. But then there was Zoe.”
“Ah ha. I am detecting a trend.”
“I was so stupid,” she said. “But Zoe was nice to me, and I wasn’t used to people being nice to me.”
“It’s very easy to be nice to you, Monique. You’re pretty damned amazing.”
She paused. “I’m like a loyal dog,” she said quietly.
I reached over and pulled her chin towards me. “No,” I said firmly. “You are not. Yes, you are loyal. I can see that. Everyone can see that. But you are also exceedingly brave. And I bet you work hard, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“You fight hard to make your pack stronger. And did you hear what Elisabeth said on Wednesday?”
She shook her head.
“Monique, don’t let this go to your head, but she said you could be the next head enforcer.”
“I couldn’t!”
“Not yet you couldn’t, and I think she’s grooming Angel. But they give you responsibilities they don’t give everyone else, don’t they? Where are the other enforcer students?”
“They didn’t come.”
“And they assigned you to watch over me.”
“So they wouldn’t have to waste a real enforcer.”
“They trust your judgment, Monique. You don’t trust someone’s judgment if you think she’s stupid. Stupid people make stupid mistakes. Now, you’re young, and you have a confidence problem, but you aren’t stupid.”
“I wasn’t smart enough to get into Michaela’s science program.”
“So you aren’t science smart. Neither am I. I suck at science.”
“You went to Harvard! Like Lara and Elisabeth, and after Michaela, they’re the two smartest people I know.”
“I went to Harvard to study business, Monique. Not science.” I made a face. “So you’re like me. Science isn’t your thing. But you’re good at other things, aren’t you.”
I released her chin, and after a moment she said, “I guess.”
“Let me ask you something. Last night. Lara could have interfered. If you were being a fool, do you think she’d have sat back and let you? Does that sound like her? Or would she have protected you?”
Her eyes grew wide. “Lara doesn’t think I was foolish?”
“I haven’t talked to her. I think you were brave. I think people see vampires in movies and are fascinated by them. And then they meet Carissa. She’s petite -- like Michaela. But she’s beautiful and alluring and mysterious, and you can’t help but be drawn to her, if you give her a chance. I don’t know about the other enforcers, but I bet half the other people in the room wonder what it’s like to be bitten, and the other half wonder what it was like to be compelled, like she did to you. But I didn’t see them stand up and ask.”
“Iris and Lindsey offered themselves. That was a lot harder than what I did.”
“I bet if you were 18, Lara and Michaela would have talked to you about it before they talked to them. What would you have done?”
“She wouldn’t want me. They’re beautiful.”
“This again?” I asked. “Ember sure seems to think you’re beautiful, and I think Cassie does, too. I think you’re beautiful, and sweet besides.”
“You do?”
“You’re hung up on the cover of Cosmopolitan, Monique,” I said. “Fuck that. You’re beautiful. You’re strong, like a wolf should be. And you know what else you are?”
“What?”
“You’re wise, like your Aunt Prudence.”
“I’m not like her.” She paused. “She’s not really my aunt. She’s my great-something aunt.”
“Your what?”
Monique laughed. “Did you ask her how old she is?”
“No.”
“She doesn’t give Carissa a run for her money, but you should ask her. She might answer.”
I laughed. “Do you think I made a fool of myself?”
“Of course not, but some people might. Everyone thinks Aunt Prudence is a fruitcake.”
“She’s not though, is she?”
“It depends on who you ask,” Monique said with a grin. “You have to decide for yourself.”
“That right there is what I mean,” I told her. “Someone else your age would just say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Instead, you challenge me to think for myself. Good for you.”
She straightened and then turned to look out at the lake, several miles away. “Am I going to obey Ember today?”
“It seems like that is your choice, unless you decide to challenge Carissa again.”
“Why would I do that?”
“You might have your reasons. You know if you do, it will be more intense than the first time.”
In response, she shook her head. We were quiet for a minute, then I asked, “Did Ember enjoy it?”
“I think she was nervous. She liked the foot massage, though.”
“I bet it’s not the first you’ve given her.”
“It’s not,” she said. “I’m dominant.” She looked back. “Do you know what that means?”
“Cats don’t have the same emotions,” I replie
d. “I understand intellectually.”
“It’s my duty to take care of her. And Cassie, too.”
“So foot massages.”
“Yeah. They give them to me, too, but it’s different than when I do it.” She paused. “It was weird. It upset the entire dominance structure.”
“Lara is dominant over the head enforcer. She’s dominant over the other enforcers. They’re dominant over you. You’re dominant over the other teenagers. And on top of everyone, there’s Michaela.”
Monique laughed. “Yeah. Something like that. Ember might ask me to do something, but she’d never tell me.” She turned to look at me. “I shouldn’t be embarrassed?”
“No. Your curiosity isn’t fully resolved either, is it?”
“No. Well, maybe about that, but not about everything. But the more I learn, the more questions I have.”
“That’s the nature of life,” I said.
“I know you can’t tell me, but something bad happened to Michaela. We thought we had the answers, but now it’s even more confusing. I know I’m not supposed to ask, but now...”
“I think perhaps you should have a frank talk with the head enforcer, Monique.”
“I couldn’t.”
“I think you should at least ask for one and let her decide. Part of her job is to help train you. Elisabeth doesn’t seem like the sort to slap someone down for asking questions, as long as you are polite and discreet.”
She rotated in her seat. “How old is Carissa? How did she become a vampire? Has she ever killed anyone?” She paused. “I interrupted her explanation, too. She was telling us that she doesn’t hide, but she has to hide. Humans don’t know about us, and they don’t know about vampires. She must hide. Right?”
“That’s just the tip of the iceberg, isn’t it?” I said. “You want to know what it’s like to be Joanna or Anika. Or me, for that matter. You want to talk to Iris and Lindsey.”
“Yeah,” she replied.
“There’s another question you should ask, and only you can answer. Why do you want to know these things?”
“I don’t know. Morbid curiosity?”
“That’s one choice. Or maybe because you want to understand the world around you. Maybe you think Carissa is going to be important to the pack. You understand how wolves think. I bet you understand how humans think. Maybe you even understand how Michaela thinks.”
“No one understands how she thinks,” Monique said with a grin.
