by Marla Monroe
“We can’t handle children right now. We are barely making it now. You can’t get pregnant, Rachael.”
“Excuse me, but I don’t have much control over that. You tell that to your cock.” She growled and walked out of the kitchen.
A few minutes later the back door opened then closed. She figured Micah had gone out to deal with the cattle. When Jeremy didn’t come to see about her, she walked back in the kitchen to find that he wasn’t there either. So both men had gone outside. Well, fine.
Now that Jeremy had brought it up, she realized she hadn’t had a period in well over a month. It worried her. Surely she wasn’t. The idea of it scared her to death. Especially considering that Micah was right. They were barely getting by these last few weeks. What about in the spring when there was all the gardening to get done? She had hoped to be able to help and make it easier, but if she were pregnant, would she be able to do as much? How would they keep a child safe from the wolves? It would need to be able to run and play some, but if they were worried about wolves, what would they do?
By the time the men walked back in several hours later, she was a nervous wreck. Her hands were even shaking. She ignored them and set the table. Then she put out the roast and vegetables on the table and added the bread she’d baked the day before. The men returned from washing up and they sat down to eat. No one said a word. She guessed they were all worried about her getting pregnant.
Finally, Jeremy spoke up. “Roast is good, Rachael.”
“Thanks.” She toyed with hers. She didn’t feel like eating now.
“You don’t seem to like yours,” Micah pointed out.
“I’m not very hungry.”
“Is something wrong?” Jeremy asked.
“No!” she nearly shouted. “No, I’m just not very hungry.”
Both men looked at her with worry in their eyes. She smiled as best she could and took a bite of a potato.
Hours later, the kitchen was clean and the men settled in the living room talking. She wanted a nice long bath. Since it wasn’t quite as cold in the house, she hoped that the warmth from the hot water in the bathroom would stay long enough she could soak some. Her back ached, as did her legs. She’d been on her feet a lot in the last two weeks.
“I’m going to take my bath. I’ll see you later.” She started up the stairs and overheard Micah talking to Jeremy.
“I bet she is. That’s going to be a fucking mess.”
She didn’t hear Jeremy’s reply. She hurried up the stairs not wanting to know anything else. It wasn’t her fault if she was pregnant. There wasn’t anything she could do to prevent it. If she had sex every chance she got and there are two men, chances are she was going to end up that way pretty quick. It had already been three and a half months.
She swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling. She refused to worry about it right now. There would be plenty of time later. Right now, she needed a bath and to sleep. She was bone tired.
After running the water as hot as she could stand it, Rachael stepped into the tub and sighed. She quickly bathed then leaned back and relaxed in the warm water. Thoughts of a baby encroached on her reverie despite her best effort to keep them at bay.
How would she manage with a baby? If people had done it back in the eighteen hundreds, surely she could do the same. Yes, it would be difficult, but you did what you had to do. This wouldn’t be any different. The men weren’t happy about the idea, but they would get used to it and change their minds. At least she hoped they would. The baby would pick up on their emotions if they didn’t.
The water began to cool and so did the air in the room. She climbed out of the tub and quickly dried off. She pulled on one of the men’s T-shirts to sleep in but didn’t bother with panties. Usually the men were in a better mood when they came to bed. Maybe not tonight, but she wasn’t going to change what she normally did. That would tip them off for sure.
As she lay in bed, Rachael thought again about her friends and prayed that they had found homes, good homes, and were being taken care of. She had a good home. The men were decent, hardworking men. She couldn’t ask for anything more. She loved them, and at least Jeremy loved her back. Micah had come a long way since she’d first met him. All in all, she couldn’t complain. She could pray for a few more months before she got pregnant, but she was afraid the deed was done.
It suddenly struck her that she wouldn’t know who the father of the baby was. She searched her heart and realized it really didn’t matter to her. Would it matter to the men? Would they easily accept the child as both of theirs? The child would be so lucky to have two fathers to watch out for them and play with them. In a perfect world, it would have been odd to have two fathers, but out here in the now, it was the norm and nothing was perfect.
She was still awake an hour later when the men came upstairs to get ready for bed. They’d both already cleaned up, so all they had to do was pull off their clothes and get into bed. Micah disappeared into the bathroom for several minutes before emerging once again. He seemed to be hesitating at getting into bed.
Rachael sighed and turned over to face Jeremy. Maybe if she didn’t act like she wanted sex, he would go ahead and get in bed before they all froze. Sure enough, he climbed into bed once her back was to him. Then instead of scooting over next to her, he stayed on his side of the bed. She felt the first tear fall, then another. She didn’t want them to know she was crying. She laid her arm under her face so that her tears wouldn’t get Jeremy’s chest wet. It would be her little secret.
Chapter Twelve
Early the next morning, Rachael woke to find Jeremy already up. She quickly climbed out of bed and tiptoed around the room, putting on clothes. She cringed when Micah would turn over or his breathing would become uneven. Finally dressed, she hurried downstairs to find Jeremy sipping coffee.
“Morning.”
“Why didn’t you wake me? You were planning on going out by yourself, weren’t you?”
“I thought you could use the extra sleep. You’ve been getting up before dawn for months now.”
“And I usually go to bed long before you guys do.”
Jeremy just sighed and continued drinking his coffee. Rachael poured herself a cup and settled at the table across from him.
“Are you about ready to go?” she asked a few minutes later.
Jeremy nodded and slowly got up. Then he walked over to the coatrack and began pulling on his outerwear. Rachael followed his example and dressed warmly. She grabbed the milk pail and egg basket. They opened the door and stepped out into the snow.
Jeremy followed her, carrying the rifle. She paid attention to the area around her but didn’t see a single wolf. She prayed they wouldn’t see one, too. After pulling all the eggs and spreading feed for the chickens, they trudged toward the barn. The cow was glad to see them. She mooed when Rachael patted her side.
“How are you doing, Maggie Mae? Hungry?”
Jeremy added hay to her feed bucket and water to the other one. She made quick work of milking the cow, and they headed back to the house. When they opened the door, Micah was standing there with a scowl on his face.
“Before you start in,” Rachael began. “It was my idea, and I basically told Jeremy I’d go without him if he didn’t come along.”
“Jeremy, you know better. You should have told me if you couldn’t keep her in hand. That was the most foolhardy thing you’ve done yet. She’s probably pregnant, and you let her go outside where there are fucking wolves just waiting to attack us. I told you there have been more of them.”
“I guess I was wrong about sharing the ass chewing. I’m still going to get all of it.”
“This isn’t funny, Jeremy.”
“Micah, stop it! It’s safer for two or three people to go together to do the chores than it is for one. Either admit it and go on, or shut the fuck up!” She was almost yelling now.
“You don’t need to be getting upset, baby. Calm down.” Jeremy tried to rub his hands up and down her
arms.
She pulled away and walked over to the stove to make fresh coffee. She was tired of dealing with them right then. When Micah stomped out of the room, Jeremy sighed and stood next to her at the stove.
“He’ll get past it. Don’t let it upset you so much.”
“I’m tired of his attitude. We were making so much progress and now this. It’s ruined it.”
“No it hasn’t. If he didn’t really care about you he wouldn’t be so upset. Take it as a good sign.”
She just shrugged and started breakfast. There were things to do, and she wasn’t going to let Micah’s attitude ruin her day. At least that was what she told herself.
After breakfast, which had been a strained affair, she cleaned up and gathered the laundry to deal with. Micah and Jeremy both went outside. She didn’t know what Jeremy was doing, but she hoped he wasn’t trying to overdo it. He was still weak. Maybe he was carrying the rifle and being look out. The fact that Micah had kept that there were more wolves from her pissed her off as well. She needed to know that.
Several hours later, the men returned. Micah looked a little less pissed, and Jeremy didn’t look as worn-out as she’d been afraid he would. She ignored them and finished up lunch. Then while they rested in the living room, she took stock of the pantry and decided they would be fine until spring. Then they would need some supplies.
All the time, the fact that she was probably pregnant weighed heavily in her heart. What should have been a joy had become a burden to bear. One she obviously was going to end up bearing alone. She resigned herself to that fact and called the men in to eat lunch.
* * * *
Micah and Jeremy walked back outside after taking a short nap after lunch. He felt a little better than he had, but not much. He was tired, bone-weary tired. With Jeremy sick and Rachael to take care of besides the animals, he’d felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Well, the weight of his world had been.
Jeremy couldn’t shovel snow or lift anything heavy yet. He handled the rifle instead. With the temperature warming up, the snow was slowly melting. Soon there would be nothing left of it but mud to deal with. Mud sucked at your boots and made it just as hard to walk in as the damn snow. Of course, they could end up with more snow before it totally melted. He wasn’t sure what would be worse.
When they reached the fence line, Micah noticed the prints that ran along the fence line. Fuck, the wolves were closing in on the cattle. They would lose some eventually if not already.
“Wolves,” Jeremy said, looking down at the prints.
“Yeah, getting close to the cattle. Be on the lookout. They may be out there watching us.”
Micah climbed in the fence and began checking the cattle for any sign they had been attacked. He didn’t think so since they hadn’t scattered. By rough count, they were all accounted for.
He took his pick ax and broke the water. It was much thinner this morning. The temperatures weren’t going down as low at night as they had been. It made it warmer in the house at night, too. That reminded him that he’d kept his distance the night before and had nearly frozen to death. He realized guiltily that it meant Rachael had been cold as well. Sure, she’d had Jeremy, but no one to warm her back. He’d acted childish sleeping on the edge of the bed like he had.
Snorting in disgust, Micah stopped checking fences and turned back to where the cows were standing. The mud would also mean checking the cattle to be sure none of them was stuck in it. He hoped the ground wouldn’t be too thick in mud. If it melted slowly enough, it wouldn’t be as big of a problem then if they had a good warm day of sunshine. He had to hope for the best and expect the worse.
He looked up at the sky and approved of there being some light cloud cover. Not enough to hold in the heat from the earth, but enough to keep the sun from warming it up further. That would help.
“Did you see any more prints out there?” Jeremy asked, looking around them.
“Nope. That’s something anyway.”
His mind focused on Rachael again and why he was so hung up on her being pregnant. He knew he’d be this way if he let her under his skin. Not that he’d had a lot of choice though. He thought back over the last few months and realized that she probably hadn’t had a period in at least one month, maybe two.
Keeping her safe had been on his mind ever since they’d picked her up. Now he had two to keep safe. It hit him then that he could be the father, but Jeremy was more likely the father. Did it bother him not to know? He didn’t suppose it did. He’d take care of it just like he took care of Rachael. It would take more effort to deal with a child.
What about delivering the baby? Fuck! Who was going to do that? Yeah, they had helped with the cows occasionally, but a baby was an entirely different matter. Maybe meeting their neighbors wasn’t such a bad idea. He’d already thought about hunting with them. He would leave Jeremy behind to watch over Rachael, but with a baby on the way, they might need more help.
Micah sighed and walked toward the house as the sun began to set. Jeremy was right behind him watching out for wolves. It did take a lot of stress off of him not to have to watch as much for them while he was dealing with the cattle. Maybe Rachael was right about the morning chores and two people should do them. He wasn’t sure he would let Rachael though. If something happened to her… He didn’t want to think about it. How she’d become so important to him, he didn’t know.
When they walked into the house and began to pull off their coats, gloves, and hats, she walked in with a worried expression on her face.
“What is it?” he immediately asked.
“Some men came to the door while you were outside. I didn’t answer it, but they were pretty insistent. I was afraid they were going to try and get in. I’m pretty sure they weren’t the same men from last month.”
“Fuck. I wonder who they were. I don’t like strangers lurking around like that.”
“Did they know you were there?”
“I don’t think so. Not unless they had looked in the window ahead of time and saw me walking around.”
“Jeremy, you stay here with her. I’m going to take a walk around the house and see if they’ve been looking in the windows.”
He took the rifle and walked out the back door. He circled around the house and found foot prints all along the porch and off to one side of the house, but they hadn’t gone to the other side. They very well could have seen her through one of the windows on the front porch. Then he walked down the drive a little ways following the prints. They’d parked out at the road for some reason. Maybe so they could sneak up on them, or to assure themselves of a quick getaway if they didn’t have to back out or try to turn around.
The entire episode worried him. Now they had something else to worry about besides the damn wolves. Yeah, it was time to meet their neighbors. At least he would be able to decide who was trustworthy and who to avoid that way. He would approach Jeremy with the idea and his plan after dinner. For now, the sun was about gone and he couldn’t see much of anything anymore. He headed for the house and knocked on the door so Jeremy would let him in.
“There were prints all along the porch, so the probably saw you walking around the house. There’s no telling how long they were out there before they knocked on the door. They had parked their truck out at the road.”
“They were making sure we wouldn’t hear them drive up.” Jeremy’s mouth thinned into a straight line.
“Rachael, how long till dinner is ready?” Micah asked.
“I can have it on the table in about ten minutes.” She stood up and headed toward the other room.
As soon as she was gone, Micah pulled Jeremy around the corner into the office they rarely used. The air in the musty room was downright cold. He had to work at not shivering. Jeremy didn’t fare as well.
“What?”
“I’m going to talk to you more after dinner when she goes upstairs, but I think we need to look at checking out the neighbors. We may need to get to know
them. For one thing, if she is pregnant, we’re going to need help delivering the baby. And I want to know who we can trust and who we can’t.”
“I agree. I’ve thought we needed to meet them all along.”
“I know. Don’t be an ass and say I told you so.”
Jeremy grinned at him. “Sorry, but I did.”
Micah popped him upside the head and grinned back. He hadn’t smiled in several weeks. It felt good to for a change. He hadn’t done much smiling at all until Rachael came. Then Jeremy getting sick had sucked everything out of him.
They walked out of the office together and had just returned to stand in front of the fire when Rachael called them to eat dinner. Micah could tell that she was nervous. The men showing up and banging on the door has spooked her. He hated for her to be scared. He wanted her to trust that he would keep her safe, but he’d been an ass lately, so she probably wasn’t sure about him again.
“What if they come back, Micah? What am I supposed to do?”
“Nothing. You stay hidden. If it looks like they are going to come in the house, get in the cellar and slide the bolt on the door.”
“Maybe I need to keep a lantern down there so that if I end up down there I won’t be in the dark.”
“That’s a good idea. You probably need to keep a blanket down there as well.”
“Can’t we give her a gun, Micah?”
“I worry about her hurting herself trying to get down the cellar stairs.”
“Then we leave it in an oil rag in the cellar. She needs something for protection.”
“I don’t know how to use a gun, Jeremy. I’ve never even been around them until I got here.”
“We can teach you, Rachael, just enough to not be a danger to yourself. Then all you have to do is aim and fire.”
“We’ll think about it. In the meantime, put the blanket and the lamp down there for her, Jeremy. I don’t want her carrying anything down the steps.”
“I bring stuff up and down those steps all the time, Micah.”
