He glanced at her, wondering where she was going with this question as he felt guilt niggling at his conscience.
“Nothing that we can’t handle.”
“I feel badly that I’m not helping more.”
Hamilton frowned at her. “What do you mean?”
Sadie shrugged. “I’m not doing very much.”
“Seems to me you’re doing plenty. You keep our clothes clean and mended. The house is always filled with delicious smells from whatever you’re cooking. You look after the hens and chicks very well.”
She shrugged again. “It still doesn’t seem to be enough. I have plenty of time to gad about visiting the neighbors and still get all that done.”
“I wouldn’t exactly call it gadding about when you’re taking food and help to the neighbors.”
“But couldn’t I be helping you more? I feel like you’re going to work yourself to death. I can hardly believe how much work you do. Surely there are some tasks I could look after for you so you don’t have to be working so much.”
Now Hamilton’s guilt nearly swamped him. He didn’t want his wife working too hard, either. And he was making up work for himself just to avoid her. Herman was forever laughing at him for it.
“With winter coming, there will be plenty of time to be sitting around,” he told her with a sinking sensation. He couldn’t leave her here to fend for herself, but he dearly wished he could be in California for the winter this year.
“Are the winters particularly harsh around here? I’ve been trying to prepare with making preserves and things, but I’m not sure if I’m doing enough.”
“You’re doing plenty, I’m sure, and we’ll be able to get out to the mercantile even during the winter. While we will get plenty of snow, and you wouldn’t want to get caught too far from home when a storm comes up, the winters aren’t so very harsh.”
Watching her chew her lip with indecision nearly tore Hamilton apart inside. He hated the fact that he was making her insecure. Or should he say, even more insecure. It had been obvious from the stories she had told him about her life in Boston that she had some emotional baggage. And his attempts to avoid her were not helping with that. Now it was Hamilton’s turn to fidget.
“Would you like to meet my friends? The ones who vouched for me with the Fredericksburgs?”
“The Delaneys?” she asked, surprising Hamilton with her knowledge. At his nod she responded eagerly. “I would love to. Are they coming to visit?”
“I was thinking we could go visit them.” He didn’t regret it when she appeared delighted by the idea, even though she appeared a little hesitant, too. It was obvious that although she was nervous, she also wanted to meet his friends. Or maybe she just wanted to meet other people. Either way, he probably should have made her feel more comfortable before now.
“Thank you, I would like that very much. When would you like to go?”
Hamilton shrugged. “I can’t decide if I want to surprise them or send a telegram. What do you think?”
She looked at him rather dubiously for a moment. Hamilton couldn’t blame her. He had been avoiding her quite obviously for weeks, and now he was inviting her on a trip and asking her opinion. Sadie’s tinkle of laughter filled him with relief. He hadn’t heard it in what seemed ages, and it was such a beautiful sound.
“Not knowing your friends, I can’t really answer that question. Are they the type that would appreciate a surprise?”
“I think so. They did tell me I’m always welcome in their home. And I know Hannah would appreciate some adult female association.”
“I take it she has young female association?”
Hamilton laughed. “Yes. Her young sister and Ransom’s niece. And their new baby is a girl, too. But she is always happy for company.” He paused for a moment, feeling uncomfortable. “I think you’ll like them.”
~~~
Sadie watched Hamilton’s face attentively. He often hid his thoughts, but this evening it was obvious to her that he was wondering how it happened that he spoke his thoughts aloud. He had been so busy lately that she had barely spent any amount of time with him. She rather suspected he had been keeping himself diverted so he wouldn’t have to be around her.
She couldn’t blame him. With her background, he probably regretted their commitment. He was no doubt ashamed to have a wife who was being blackmailed. That was why his invitation to meet his friends had been such a surprise. She would love to meet the Delaneys. The Fredericksburgs had spoken so highly of them. Sadie knew Mr. Fredericksburg had arranged their marriage, just as he had done for her and Hamilton. She rather thought it strange that a man was matchmaking for his friends, but it was sweet in a certain way. In either case, she was looking forward to it, if Hamilton actually followed through and took her.
He cleared his throat, making her jump a little as she had gotten caught up in her own thoughts.
“How soon do you think you could be ready for a few days away?”
Sadie waved her hand in dismissal. “In a few minutes, I would imagine.”
Hamilton laughed. “I suppose so, considering you didn’t bring much with you. I guess this is one reason to be grateful for that.”
Feeling heat fill her face, Sadie avoided his gaze, waiting to hear what he had decided.
“Very well, let’s surprise them, then. We’ll leave at first light the day after tomorrow. I’d like to spend the day tomorrow making arrangements with the men here to make sure the winter preparations carry on without us.”
Sadie nodded, turning back to the kitchen to clear up from the supper. She had gotten used to Hamilton leaving immediately after rushing to gobble up whatever she had cooked. This was the longest he had lingered since her first meal in the house.
She heard him clearing his throat again, something she noticed he did whenever he was uncomfortable.
“Thank you for the supper. It was delicious, as usual.”
Sadie appreciated his politeness. Even when he was rushing to get away from her, he always took a second to express his thanks.
“You’re welcome, Hamilton. Thank you for talking with me a little.”
She was surprised to see pink tinge his ears at her words. He quickly jammed his hat on his head and strode from the house. Sadie sighed as she watched him leave. She was getting mightily bored on her own. She felt obliged to make as many preparations as possible for the coming winter, thus confining her visits to other homesteads and neighbors to once per week.
It had been wonderful when Hamilton had accompanied her once. The second time she had visited the Johnsons he had gone with her as he had promised. It had been obvious to her even then that he was uncomfortable around her, and it had only worsened after that trip. Sadie had no idea what she had done to give him a disgust of her. She had thoroughly enjoyed the day. It had felt as though they were working toward a common goal. Neither of them had any preconceived notions, although Sadie had already been to the Johnsons’ property. So, it turned out, had Hamilton.
It felt to her they were working harmoniously as he performed the more rigorous chores around the property, making some repairs and rearranging some furniture within the house to make room for the growing family. At the same time, Sadie had cleaned and done the laundry while also teaching the children some math and reading them a story. Then Hamilton had joined them for a meal, and then they had played with the children for a while before leaving.
Sadie had enjoyed the day quite thoroughly. Watching Hamilton with the children had been a delight. She appreciated how he listened to them attentively, even the smallest child who could barely talk yet. It had been cute to see his brow furrowing as he tried to understand the little tyke and respond appropriately.
But then, when they’d climbed into the wagon to return home, he had barely said a word. Sadie had thought he was maybe worn out, so she hadn’t badgered him with chatter. But then his silence had continued. It wasn’t as though he had been overly chatty before then, but Sadie noticed a differen
ce. They had been speaking little by little each day, getting to know one another. But after their trip to the Johnsons', Hamilton exchanged only the fewest words possible with her.
It was disconcerting. Sadie had no idea what she had done to displease him, if anything. Perhaps he had just absorbed what she had told him about Oscar, and he no longer considered her a worthy partner. Or he hadn’t liked how she had behaved with the Johnson children. But when she had tried to ask him about it he had brushed off her concerns saying there was nothing wrong. Sadie thought back to that awkward but brief conversation.
“Are you still thinking about what I told you about Oscar and Patrick?”
“No, and I don’t want you to ever speak their names again. They are not worthy of your thoughts.”
Sadie had nearly fallen out of the wagon with her surprise over his conflicting sentiments. Only Hamilton’s quick, warm clasp of her arm saved her from certain injury.
“You aren’t to give them another thought, Sadie, promise me. The matter is no longer of your concern.”
She had blinked and nodded, feeling warmed and chilled at once. Sadie rather thought if the man would talk to her just a little bit more she would be in danger of falling in love with him. While he regularly hurt her feelings with his apparent lack of interest, when he did pay some attention to her, it warmed her heart and filled her head with nonsensical ideas. The fact that he wanted her to promise not to even think of the two heinous men was charming. But the cold, hard tone of his voice when he said it was not her concern distanced her. She nodded her agreement but sighed quietly, wondering how he expected her to keep such a promise.
Sadie blew the lock of hair off her forehead that had escaped her braids. Agonizing over it wasn’t going to do her any good. He had invited her to accompany him to meet his friends. She would have to regard that as a promising change. And they would be confined together for the time of the travel. She had no way of knowing how far away the Delaneys lived, but since he said they’d be gone for a few days, it was obviously more than an hour or two away. Butterflies fluttered to life in Sadie’s midsection as she anticipated the travel time. It could be wonderful if he chose to talk with her or incredibly awkward if he didn’t. Shrugging away the unhelpful thoughts, Sadie set to work finishing the chores that needed to be done before she could retire for the night.
Chapter Seven
“I’m sorry you’ve arrived when we’re all at sixes and sevens.”
“No, it is we who should be apologizing.” Sadie was struggling to hold onto her composure. It had been a long drive. Hamilton hadn’t had much to say, offering the fewest words in answer to any of her attempts at conversation. And their surprise to his friends had fallen a little flat. Hannah’s sister was sick and the household was in disarray. “Arriving unannounced as we have, we cannot expect you to be prepared for us.”
Sadie was nearly beside herself with discomfort. She hadn’t been able to prevent herself from asking Hamilton about Patrick during their journey. She had sat through the first couple of hours of the drive, barely tolerating the awkward silence that had been broken only by her stilted questions followed by Hamilton’s barely grunted responses. Finally, when she could no longer help herself she had blurted out her question.
“Are you going to hate me forever because of my past?”
“What are you talking about?” It was the longest sentence he had spoken to her all day. “I could never hate you.”
“You act like you do. You must be disgusted with me because of Patrick. No upstanding woman would have a blackmailer.”
The sound that followed her statement sounded almost like a growl. “I thought I told you not to even think about him.”
Sadie snorted. “That’s easier said than done. You haven’t spoken to me since I told you.”
She couldn’t quite interpret the expression on his face as he gazed at her. He looked stricken by her words, and his pink cheeks reflected embarrassment. Before she could wonder further he cleared his throat loudly.
“You needn’t worry about Patrick ever accosting you again. I told him your debts were paid and no one in these parts would ever believe there was ever anything impure about you, not that they would care if there had been. I then thrashed him for coming near you and sent him on his way.”
“Oh no, Hamilton, I’m so sorry.”
“What on earth are you sorry for?”
“I’ve caused you so much trouble. I had no idea you had gotten into an altercation with him.”
She watched as he flexed his fingers on the reins and turned to her with a grin. “It brought me the greatest pleasure, I can assure you.”
Sadie opened her mouth to protest but shut it quickly when Hamilton interjected. “Now, put it from your mind. I don’t want you thinking about another man.”
She was stumbling out a disjointed protest that no other man was on her mind but him when he interrupted her rambling thoughts with his statement. “We’re nearly there, I’m fairly certain the smoke curling from behind those trees is probably from Ransom’s chimney.”
Sadie squeaked and started patting her head, hoping she wasn’t a windblown disaster after three hours in the wide open air on the wagon.
With a blink, Sadie brought her attention back to what their hostess was saying.
“I’m thrilled to have you here, though, please don’t mistake me. And I know Ransom will be as well, once he gets here.”
Sadie could see her hostess’ eyes flitting around at the few scattered items that were clearly out of place while her hands fluttered around her head, trying to capture the strands that had escaped.
“Would you mind having a seat while I tidy up a bit and put the kettle on?”
Sadie wished they could just offer to return home, but that would probably be insulting to Hamilton’s friends, besides the thought of three more hours bouncing around in the wagon made her feel slightly ill. Racking her mind to think of the best solution, she tried to smile warmly at the other woman.
“Why doesn’t Hamilton show me around to your small animals, and we come back in an hour or so? Then you’ll have a little more warning that you’re about to have guests, and we’ll have stretched our limbs after the long drive.”
Hannah’s face crumpled in an expression of regret and relief. Sadie interrupted the further apologies that were obviously on the way.
“And we would love a cup of tea or coffee when we return, thank you so much for offering.”
Without allowing the other woman to say anything more, Sadie grabbed Hamilton’s elbow and practically dragged him from the house. She could feel his incredulous gaze upon her but didn’t stop walking until they were well away from the house.
“That was interesting,” Hamilton finally said in a mild tone.
“We obviously should have sent that telegram,” Sadie countered.
Hamilton shrugged. “You’re being too sensitive. She was happy to see us and so will Ransom be when he gets in from the fields.”
“She was obviously happy to see you, but I think she was a little thrown off to see you had a wife in tow.”
Hamilton was looking at her quizzically, and Sadie felt heat flooding her face. “Are you feeling awkward or jealous, Sadie? That would be unwarranted on either count, I can assure you.”
“Well, I’m certainly feeling awkward about arriving unannounced to a household with a sick child. For one thing, I’m sure it’s uncomfortable for the hostess, no matter how happy she might be to see you. For another, there’s a very good chance we’ll catch whatever illness is going through them and either have a miserable drive home or be stuck here with them, adding to their discomfort.”
Hamilton just laughed. “You are a worrier. I have the constitution of an ox.”
Sadie raised her eyebrows. “And maybe the thick skull of one, too,” she muttered, uncertain how to respond to him after their conversation on their journey. Hamilton heard her, throwing back his head and laughing louder.
“You
aren’t wrong. But come along and let me show you their few animals. Ransom isn’t really a rancher. He just wanted a large piece of countryside to call his own. But he has some animals for their own use and a bit extra just in case.”
Sadie laughed along with him and followed him to the barn. They took their time admiring the animals. Sadie couldn’t help admiring the Delaneys’ large home, as well. While she had fallen deeply in love with Hamilton’s house on first sight, if she hadn’t, she would probably be envious of Ransom and Hannah’s beautiful home. The large house sparkled with its many windows.
Hamilton laughed when he saw the direction of Sadie’s gaze. “Hannah always says it’s obvious there’s no tax on windows in Nebraska. Ransom seemed to want to flaunt that fact.”
“I wonder how they got so very much glass here without breaking it. That must have been a feat in itself.”
“It’s not so very difficult. We managed to get plenty of glass to our property.”
Sadie blushed, feeling as though she had been disloyal in her admiration of the other house. She was saved from her mortification by a new arrival.
“Hamilton Foster, as I live and breathe,” boomed a loud voice from behind them, making Sadie jump.
She watched in fascination as the two large men shook hands and slapped each other on the back. It appeared almost painful to Sadie, but the two men seemed very happy to see one another.
“Allow me to introduce my wife, Sadie.”
Her face filled with more color as the pleasure of being introduced in such a way flooded through her. While her husband seemed to wish her elsewhere, he wasn’t going to deny her place in his life, at least not in front of others.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sadie. But what are you doing out here in the barn? Hannah will be thrilled to have you here. Do say you can stay for a few days.”
Sadie waited quietly for Hamilton to answer. A part of her wanted to leave immediately, embarrassed to inconvenience these strangers. But the rest of her desperately wanted some new friends and yearned to learn more about her husband in the process.
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