by Jack Hunt
“It’s okay, I’m here now,” Kate kept saying. Ally came out handing us a bottle of water each. I chugged it down and then placed my hands on my legs so I could catch my breath. I was overheated, sweat trickled down my face and my legs were burning from where the wet jeans had chafed my skin.
Kate glanced up at us and mouthed the words, thank you.
EXODUS
The arguments began an hour after we made it back. The group was divided on what to do. One half wanted to leave town, the other, remain and fight.
“You are crazy. If we go now we can get out of here alive. If we stay they are going to kill every single one of us,” one of the older women said.
Not all of those who had been in City Hall at the start were inside the room. Some had been killed, others we assumed had sought shelter in one of the homes on the west side. There was too much risk involved trying to find them all.
Kate wanted the skinheads to die for what they had done to her daughter. Murphy was trying to keep her calm.
“Kate. I would want them dead as well but the only reason we’ve stayed this long was to get you and our kids. We have them. It’s time to go.”
“Where?”
“I’ve managed to get hold of Dan, we are going to meet up with him an hour outside of the town.”
“Then what? Hide out? How long are we going to survive? This is our home. You just expect me to walk away from here after what they did to Kiera?”
Luke, Billy, Corey and I sat off to one side listening. The idea of being forced out of our town pissed me off but I wasn’t prepared to lose my life over it.
“She has a point, Murphy,” McCabe added. “We are still officers. It’s our job to control this situation.”
Murphy shook his head. “I’m all for fighting if there is a good reason. But right now common sense tells me it’s best for us to retreat. Wait this thing out. We don’t know how many cities have been hit, how bad the fallout is or whether or not the military is coming but if we stay here, we are not only risking our lives but our kids.”
“I’m not a kid,” Billy said.
“No you’re a piss pot,” Luke remarked and then chuckled. “Anyway, do we get a say in the matter?”
“No!” the others resounded.
“This affects us as much as you all. I say we go and kill every damn one of them.”
Murphy shook his finger at Luke while staring at Kate. “Seriously, Luke, if we make it out of this, I’m going to suggest the court puts you back in the program for at least six months.”
“Best of lucking convincing the judge. I saw him laying face down on Bank Street in a puddle of his own blood.”
A silence crept over all of us.
“Why the hell are they doing this?” Wayne Layman asked. No one answered. He then turned to me. “You. I’m speaking to you.”
I raised my eyebrows and pointed at myself. “Me? How the hell am I supposed to know?”
“You are one of them. You dress like them, you hang out with them. Hell, I saw you set on fire that car down on River Street last month. You have to know why they are doing this?”
“Sorry. I don’t.”
That obviously was not the answer he was looking for. He edged his way over through the crowded room and stuck his finger into my chest. “How do we know you aren’t still with them?”
“That I can answer. You’re still alive, dickhead.”
He grabbed a hold of me by the collar. “You know your problem?”
“Hey!” Brett said quickly stepping in between.
“You’re defending him now?”
“He told you. He’s not with them.”
“And you believe him? Huh! The same guy who sent him to a program because he was out of control.”
“Actually it was court ordered.”
Murphy spoke up. “Wayne, lay off.”
Wayne owned a convenience store down on Second and River Street. He wasn’t lying when he said that I was one of the group that lit a car on fire. It was idiotic but in a small town, late at night, tanked up on liquid courage, shit happens. I didn’t light the fire but I was there.
“No, he’s right. I was there that night.”
McCabe was in the middle of talking to Shaw when he turned around.
“I was there. I saw them light that car on fire. But that was then. This is now.”
“And you expect me to believe you’ve changed because you attended a camp in the wilderness for a month?”
“No. Actually I don’t. And quite frankly I couldn’t give two shits if you believe me or not. But I just risked my ass multiple times since this has kicked off. I didn’t need to.” I paused. “I’ve got a target on my back as much as you have. So if you want hold your prejudice against me, go ahead.”
Wayne studied me, shook his head and walked out of the room.
Murphy stepped into the middle of the group. “Look, everyone. No one is going to force you to stay or leave. That’s your own choice. We aren’t in control of your lives. But Dan Adams has a bunker that is north of here. Now it might not be able to support all of us for longer than a few months but the offer is there. If you stay, there is no denying, you are going to be in a fight for your life. These people are not going to stop. I don’t know what’s driving them. Insanity, a cause or god knows what. But they will come for us.”
“What do you think?” McCabe asked me.
“You’re asking me?”
“You spent at least a year and a half with them.”
“Like I told Wayne. All I know is they want to take back the country. This isn’t the only group. This is just a smidgen of the movement that is out there.”
“What can you tell us about Eli?” Brett asked.
I pushed away from the wall. “I don’t know Eli. I heard them mention him. What you have to know is everything is told to us on an as-and-when needed basis. It’s like the military. I was nothing more than a foot solider.”
“You mean, their bitch,” Luke said.
“What the hell is your problem, man?”
“You. That’s what.” He stepped forward. “I saved your ass back there and you act as though I killed two members of your family.”
I scoffed. “You’ve got it all wrong.”
“Do I?”
He shook his head and gave a smug grin. There was silence in the room.
“They’re not all bad.”
“Could have fooled me. I’m pretty sure I saw them stamp to death some guy down on Bank Street, and put a bullet in the head of a mother up on Cedar. But oh, they aren’t all bad,” Luke said.
I understood. I really did. They were some mean assholes painting the town red but like any group, not all were committed to the cause. The guy who had lit a fire in the car, hadn’t wanted to do it. He was pressured into it. It was like any group. Peers could push a person to the edge. Hell, everyone lived on that edge, one way or another. A person didn’t have to be aligned to a group that was considered hateful. We all lived our lives on the edge being pushed towards something that maybe deep down we knew we didn’t need, or want or wish to become. But no, he couldn’t see that. All he saw was the skinhead, the boots, the tattoos. The rest was just details.
Most of the skinheads I had met in the group prior to being sent away to Camp Zero were just looking for a place to belong. Of course, they wouldn’t ever say that. But I could see it in their eyes. It was the same look I had in mine. They all came from rough backgrounds; homes that didn’t feel like home.
It had taken me a month out of the group to see how wrong I was. To see that it wasn’t what they taught that pulled me in. It was the sense of brotherhood. But the truth was, that could be found elsewhere. Until Camp Zero, I didn’t realize that. I gravitated to the first group that lured me in. So who were to blame? The skinheads? The dysfunctional family each one came from? Society? Or all of it?
“It doesn’t matter now,” Murphy said. “What matters is that we work together. So let’s put this to a vote. Whoe
ver wants to stay, stay. Whoever want to go, meet me outside.”
Murphy left the room and there was silence. Everyone looked at each other with a blank expression. Some of the people were just strangers that I had seen around town. The kind of people who wouldn’t have given me a second look if it wasn’t for what happened.
Slowly, one by one they filed out and met Murphy in the kitchen and dining area. It was just common sense. No one wanted to die. None of us were killers. If we left we stood a better chance of surviving. Shaw and McCabe were the only ones who remained. As I was leaving I looked back at Kate. I understood why she wanted to stay, and as for McCabe he was born to the job of being a police officer. It wasn’t in his blood to turn back, especially after losing those he’d worked with.
I stood at the doorway for a second. I wanted to say something but I didn’t think I had earned the right or could have changed her mind. When I joined the others Murphy went back into the living room.
After ten minutes he came out and both Shaw and McCabe were with him. I don’t know what he said to her to change her mind but she went over to her daughter and hugged her.
“Okay, listen up,” Murphy said motioning for everyone to draw in close. “We are going to have to hike out of here. It’s going to be a long walk. We will cut through the forest to avoid detection. Those of you who know how to handle a firearm, make yourself known to McCabe. We have three rifles that can be used. If you have any questions, ask them now.”
“What about food and water?” a woman asked.
“Yeah.”
“We’ll take a few cans, and bottled water but be prepared to drink from the river.”
“I’m not drinking from the river. What if the fallout has contaminated it?”
“Based on the information Sam provided, we are under the assumption that they targeted the major cities in each of the states. As far as we know the streams and rivers around these parts should be okay.”
“Assumptions? As far as you know? You want us to risk our lives based on assumptions?”
“We’re not asking you to do anything. We are not in charge of your lives. You don’t want to drink, fair enough, but don’t blame us when you’re thirsty.”
With that said he turned and had Luke help him gather up what they could from the cupboards. It was mostly noodles, cans and granola bars. Once several bags were filled, we moved out. We were on Maple Street, two streets over from the direction Murphy wanted to go. Thick trees surrounded all three streets. As McCabe opened the back door and stepped outside, the crack of a gun resounded.
In that instant, McCabe fell. Blood poured from a gaping hole in the front of his skull.
“Get back in,” Murphy screamed as more gunfire erupted.
RAPID FIRE
It was too late. Two of the older women collapsed under a hail of bullets. Forced back into the house each of us scrambled to take up a position on the ground or upper floor. Murphy was yelling for us to get down. Drywall and glass flew through the air as the skinheads on the outside kept the house under rapid fire.
Down on the ground I saw Ally with her hands on her head. Not a single one of us dared to stand up. From where I stood I could see those who been killed; two older ladies in their mid-fifties, Wayne and McCabe. Another older guy who ran Tony’s Pizza Place in the downtown was in tears. He had his hands over his ears and was yelling.
“I can’t take this. I’ve got to get out.”
Murphy was trying to get him to calm down but he was going to snap any minute. Wild-eyed and shaking like mad he rose to his feet and tried to make a break for the front door. He didn’t even make it four steps when bullets took him down.
All that remained was myself, Brett, Jodi, Corey, Luke, Billy, Ally, Sara, Kiera, Shaw and Murphy.
When the bullets stopped, all that could be seen inside was drywall dust. It looked like someone had taken a huge bag of flour and scattered it all over the place. Our clothes and faces were covered in it. In those few seconds of quiet we assumed they were reloading their weapons. Murphy signaled for Luke, Corey and myself to take the upstairs.
“Position yourselves either side of the windows. Lay down heat from above. Billy, Brett, you head into the kitchen area. Kiera, Ally, Shaw and myself will keep eyes on the front and back doors. Whatever you do, do not let them breach the yard.”
“What about the doors?”
“Don’t worry about that. For now get your ass upstairs.”
Bolting towards the stairs, Luke, Corey and I double-timed it up. The bedrooms were in a better state. The windows were still intact but not for long. Corey went over to the front of the house, while we focused on the back. Either side of the windows we crouched down and waited, then I peered out. It was hard to see what was going on because the forest smothered anyone who was hiding. It was dense and very dark even in daylight.
“Do you see anything?”
“No movement.”
I reached for the handle on the window and popped the latch. I then pushed it open and waited for more gunfire. Luke had a two-way radio in his hand. He pressed it to communicate with the downstairs.
“Murphy, come in.”
“Go ahead.”
Luke looked out. I saw three at eleven o’clock.
“We need to get out of here,” Corey said across from us, just down the hallway.
“Right. Cause that worked for Tony,” I said. “At least here we have a chance.”
“For how long? Those guys are going to tell the rest of their asshole friends and they are all going to show up here.”
“Corey, we are not the only ones alive in this town. Unless they saw all of us, chances are they will think we are just another group of survivors. They will treat us the same.”
“Like?”
“Meaning they will do their job and move on to the next house.”
He let out a laugh. “I don’t like this.”
“Well, I don’t exactly fucking love it but we are in this mess,” Luke said checking his magazine. He cast a glance over to me.
“Just my luck that I ended up with you. Hey Corey, you want to swap positions?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I replied.
“It means I don’t like you, skinhead.”
“Is that what this has come down to?”
“You should be out there with them. At least that way I could put a bullet in your head.”
Even Corey looked perplexed.
“Look, I don’t know what your deal is with me but I think by now you should know I’m not the enemy.”
I peered over to the window and saw one of the skinheads advancing on the back gate. I brought the AR-15 up and was about to take the shot when the guy went down. I looked over to see Luke had taken the shot.
“I had him.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Guys, stop arguing,” I heard Murphy yell up.
“Just like last week, eh, Murph?” Luke hollered back.
Days ago we were in the heart of the wilderness in northern Idaho. Our time was spent hiking, scaling cliff walls and setting up camp. Besides the evenings, we were always in a constant station of motion. Murphy believed that it not only kept us occupied but it was a great way to purge the mind of all the junk, negativity and crap that we lugged around with us. Depending on the day, hell, even the hour, any one of us twelve could have been at each other’s throats for some reason. One guy would sit on his ass and say he wasn’t going to walk another inch, another guy would throw away his food and say he was going to starve himself if they didn’t let him go home, and others would just look for a reason to start a fight.
That was Luke.
I had twisted my ankle coming down into a ravine and Dan asked Luke to carry my backpack. He refused and kicked up a stink. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t have minded but he wasn’t going to carry no neo-Nazi skinhead’s bag.
Dan like Murphy would try to help each of us to see the commonalities and overlook our differences. He said it w
as our commonalities that made us strong. My mind drifted back to a week ago.
“Anyone can find fault in a person, but I would challenge you to see what is good about that person.”
“Good?” Luke replied. “There is nothing good about this guy. He’s a fucking asshole.”
“And what, your not?” Corey had on numerous times come to my defense. I think in some ways Corey felt as though he was like me. Luke was another version of Billy according to Corey. That was someone who couldn’t see their own faults but would spend all day picking on others.
“You don’t want to carry his backpack?” Dan asked.
“No. Why should I?”
“Fine, you don’t have to carry his backpack.”
Luke got this look on his face as though he had won some competition.
“You’ll carry him.”
“What?” he yelled back.
“Put your bag down and pick Sam up. You will carry him until you can come up with three things that are good about him.”
I tried hard to hide my amusement. I was massaging a sore ankle at the time. The others looked equally amused by it.
“Screw that. You can’t make me do that.”
“Then we just sit here until you are ready. Our new supplies are at the next rendezvous point.”
Dan tossed his bag down and sat on top of it.
“Suits me fine,” Luke said. “I needed a rest.”
An entire day passed before Luke started to realize that Dan meant it. We were not going to move until he picked me up and found three good things to say. After twenty-four hours, we were all starting to get hungry. When we reached day two the others offered to carry me.
“No. Luke is going to do it.”
This then led to the others trying to convince him.
“Come on Luke, just do it. Make something up.”
Now most would have done that. They would have swallowed their pride and said three random things even if they didn’t believe them. Not Luke. I began to realize that this wasn’t about getting him to say something good. It was about breaking an internal wall that Luke had erected inside of himself. The very act of picking me up would have meant he had to get close and feel the weight of his own words.
