by Lauren Wood
I was hands free in my white Mercedes and I was navigating traffic like a seasoned professional. I’d only been in town for the past few months trying to put up my shingle and barely making ends meet.
I wore my professionalism like a badge of honor to signify to others that I had made it. I had to dress for success with a tailored Donna Karan suit which I used on many occasion to try to lure potential clients through my door.
“I really don’t have time to debate this issue and you know what my answer is going to be.” I looked into the mirror and I saw that my hair was perfect with a ponytail and glasses to give me an air of professional detachment.
“One of these days, a man is going to slam into you and you won’t even know that he is your soul mate. Open your eyes and you might realize the best thing in life is right around the corner.” My mother was a big proponent for a happily ever after. I had learned the hard way that guys usually had only one thing on their mind.
I might have been lumping them all into one category, but none of them had proved to me that there was one good one among them. I couldn’t negate the possibility of one slipping through the cracks, but I was too jaded to notice the errant looks of the one that got away.
“I’ll be by Sunday for dinner and you better not have ulterior motives like setting me up on one of your blind dates. You’ve always considered yourself to be a romantic at heart and you sometimes don’t know when to leave something alone.” She had no problem picking up cupids bow and firing indiscriminately. I was more selective when it came to matters of the heart and being burned too many times had left me suspicious of everyone’s motives.
“I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to find somebody. You have a great job, you’re beautiful and you have your mother’s youthful genes.” Having a unique sense of someone’s mind had given me an unfair advantage over the opposite sex. I had no problem ferreting out those who had mommy issues and those pretending to be something they weren’t.
“I know you probably have more to say, but I need to cut this short. Jules Mackenzie is going to be there in person to take a personal interest in his staff. I don’t think that he would’ve even considered going down this road without somebody twisting his arm. I’m sure that it’s probably a woman and there’s no way a man would admit to having psychological issues.” I was only telling her what she needed to hear and the rest was going to be covered under the same client confidentiality I used with other patients.
“I know you’re just trying to get rid of me and I promise not to ambush you with a potential suitor on Sunday.” My father disappeared when I was young never to be seen from again and it left her to raise me on her own. I never did have an interest to track him down and make him face me once and for all. If he didn’t want me, then I didn’t want anything to do with him.
“I appreciate the effort it takes for you to mind your own business. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy our time together, but maybe we don’t have to speak about the elephant in the room.” I had a feeling being abandoned at an early age had forced me into my choice of career. I wanted to know what made people tick on the inside and not what others perceived on the outside.
It was an occupational hazard to look at someone and know their story by only their body language. I had become quite proficient at making snap judgments.
There were so many people in pain and the world continued to turn without anybody realizing what was happening behind the smile.
“I’m your mother and I will never stop meddling in your life for as long as I live. I want nothing but the best for you and you deserve the kind of happiness only dreamed of in fairy tales. I will do everything in my power to give you what you didn’t have growing up. I was your mother and your father all rolled into one package. You never did have a father figure and maybe that makes you hesitant to take the plunge.” I saw the building ahead and the wall of windows leading up to the top floor was indicative of the design.
I had seen it several times in passing, but this was the first time I was going to see within the inner sanctum. A went through security, showing my credentials and getting a temporary identification badge to enter onto the premises.
“I shouldn’t complain and you’ve always been the voice of reason in a din of indecision. I sometimes forget what kinda sacrifices you made to make a life for me. I will always be grateful. I really don’t know how I could’ve come this far without you.” It was always nice to throw her a bone and it might even get her off my back for the time being.
“You might be some big shot therapist, but I can see right through you.” She was breaking up and being underground in the parking structure had made reception spotty. “I…everything…want…happy.” It finally went dead with only a dial tone, but I think I understood what she said from the short burst of communication I received.
She was essentially telling me she wanted me to be happy and that everything would work out exactly as god planned. I’d stepped away from religion and I never could understand the practice of the collection plate.
I parked in my assigned spot for temporary visitors and stepped out to the smell of exhaust in the air. I walked with confidence in my white suit of armor and a black briefcase in my hand. The glasses were for show and I had 2020 vision.
I got into the elevator and the first thing I noticed was that I could see below me into the black chasm. It was a little disconcerting to feel like I was walking on air. I found myself breathing heavily and trying to compose my nerves with the possibility of the floor opening up and sending me to my untimely demise.
I glanced down at my phone and I brought up the text message sent to me by Jules or maybe somebody who was working for him. “Felicia Valentine I’ve heard some good things about your work and I would like to pick your brain on my staff. They were affected deeply by the case that was quite prevalent in the media as of late. I would like to make a proposition and I believe I have an offer you would be a damn fool to refuse.” It was the start of a lengthy correspondence which ended with dollar signs in my eyes. It was a temporary assignment, but the money was enough to keep food and a roof over my head for quite some time to come. I wasn’t transparent with my mother.
I watched the numbers slowly rise and I tried not to look down but it was a compelling sensation to see how close I was to the hand of death on my shoulder. There had to be a method to the madness, I couldn’t quite figure out why terrifying one self by getting into an elevator of complete glass was a good idea.
Chapter 2
There was a bustle of activity in the office and I could see the heavy burden on everyone’s shoulder like they were screaming for help. I got to reception and the woman was juggling too many phone calls. I very calmly reached over and disconnected each and every one of them with her sitting back with a sigh of frustration. She put her hands over her face.
“There is nothing insurmountable and you need to remember that you need to make time for yourself. Work will always be there and if it’s important they will certainly call back at a more convenient time. It’s all about prioritizing and not taking things too seriously.” There were bags underneath her eyes and she looked like she had aged a few years in the span of a few days. I didn’t know her, but I felt I could read her story.
“The phones have been ringing off the hook with potential clients looking for representation. I don’t see anything for us to be proud of, but you won’t hear me complaining.” The case was pretty controversial and the guy had swindled millions from those who were living hand to mouth on security pensions.
“You’re not responsible for what your boss does and that kind of burden is not yours to carry. Stacy, I want you to think about the path you want to be on and whether or not this place is going to make you realize your dreams. We only get one life to live and to squander that gift is reprehensible in my opinion.” I had given her some hope for the future and what she did with that advice was entirely up to her. I only knew her name because of her badge which was affixed
to her very simple looking blue blouse.
“I don’t appreciate anyone giving unsolicited advice to my staff. I know who you are and we should talk before we consider this offer signed on the dotted line.” He was dressed in a very expensive Italian suit which molded to his body like a second skin. It was the perfect illusion of success and the Rolex was a nice touch to give people the impression he was the man.
“I think that would be a great idea. Lead the way and hopefully, we will come to a consensus on what you expect from this temporary position.” I began to think of another position while walking behind him. I was looking at his fine ass encased in those pants. It was obvious he took care of himself and the muscles underneath the shirt were hiding a flesh and blood desirable man.
He walked with confidence and opened his door while standing back and letting me enter before him as a sign of respect. I took my place in front of his desk. It was a glass table which made it easy to see the object of my desire pressing against the expensive fabric of his suit.
“I need you to get these people back to fighting form. I’m getting tired of walking around on eggshells. They look at me with distaste and I feel their judgment from across the room. I was this close to firing all of them and starting over from scratch. I don’t want to have to do that unless it’s the last resort.” He was worried about perception and he had pulled himself from obscurity to become the next big thing in defense lawyers.
“I will personally talk to each and every one of them, but I think we should start at the top.” He was looking at me a bit confused and then I lowered my glasses in a studious way to convey the seriousness of my suggestion. “I’m not kidding and we can either do things my way or you can find somebody else.” I was bluffing and petrified at the possibility of him calling me on it.
“Let’s not do anything rash and if you think it’s a good idea for me to lie on the couch then I don’t see any reason to deny your request.” I felt empowered like my words had influence over others, but I could never translate any of this into my love life.
He got up from his desk and I had to turn away in disgust by his obvious endowment staring me in the face. It was almost like a train wreck and there was no way I could avert my eyes. He walked past me purposely grazing my shoulder and the side of my neck with his long and manicured fingers. I felt a chill run down my spine which obviously made its way between my legs and the lips of my sex.
He took his place on his black leather couch and I swiveled the chair and moved to where I was in a position to look at him with nothing subtle about my intentions. He couldn’t see me from his vantage point with his arms crossed over his chest.
“I want you to take a deep breath and tell me why it is that you feel you need therapy. I’m only here to listen and to guide you into mental health.” I was using the textbook to knock it over his head and I was antsy to go beyond conventional therapy.
“I’m paying you a lot of money and you expect me to talk about myself. If that is what I’m paying for then my mother must have several degrees on her wall. She can always manipulate me into doing anything. I don’t even know why I’m telling you any of this. Do you really think it was my idea to go into law? I had a dream of being an architect and I made my company base here in this building because I couldn’t turn away from the design of the building.” It must’ve cost him a small fortune to house his law firm in this building, but to him, it must’ve been money well spent.
I wanted to reach out and touch him, to peel away the layers of his mistrust and then his clothes in that order. It would’ve been a different kind of therapy had he been lying there completely naked and at my mercy.
“I do find myself curious to the reason why you took the case. It was quite obvious from the very beginning that he was guilty. It was a slam dunk case and I would consider it a lucky break you found a loophole to use against the legal system.” I was calling him out on his actions and finding his body shifting in place a good sign of his guilt.
“I didn’t have any choice and my father was expecting big things from me when he turned over the reins of the empire. I’ve always wanted to make it on my own and taking the case against his advice was my way of inserting my own dominance.” He made me jump almost out of my skin when he swung around and was now in a seating position. “You can’t possibly believe any of the garbage coming out of my mouth. I’m just saying what you want me to say and we both know the reason why you want me here in my office all to yourself.” His attempt at seduction was a necessary distraction and the pleasures of the flesh were the only thing that made him feel like he didn’t let people down.
“You’re trying to make me feel uncomfortable and you’re very good at it. Your issue stems from an overbearing father and a mother who never thought you did anything right. You’re always trying to please them with no regard for your own happiness.” He wasn’t exactly happy with my evaluation and I could see my words had a lasting impact on his psyche.
“I brought you here because this is a place of business and I can’t have people running to the bathroom and weeping openly in the middle of a workday. I think my time on the couch has come to an end and it would be a good idea for you to concentrate your efforts on those who need your expertise.” He was reflecting away from his issues. It was a bold move to make him seem like he was untouchable.
“It’s interesting how you use the term therapy like it’s a dirty word. I’m going to tell you what I have learned about you in the short time I have been sitting here listening to you. You have a real issue with authority and you don’t like anybody telling you what to do. You use sex as a weapon and no woman is immune to your charm. You make others feel small and you break them down so that you can build them up to your idealism. There’s no ring on your finger and I would say it’s a lonely position to be on top.” I felt this wave of euphoria as he stepped up to me like he was prepared to strike me down dead.
“I’m going to leave this office while I still have nothing to be sorry for. I will return at the end of the day and I expect to hear of some kind of progress. Don’t break them and I need you to treat them with kid gloves. They are fragile and they can break easily which you almost accomplished with Stacy out at the front desk.” His dark hair was cut in a uniformed military fashion and his clean shaven face gave the appearance of purity.
“There’s no reason to get all defensive and I was only trying to prove a point. If you’re feeling this way and acting out irrationally, then you can imagine how people who haven’t been subjected to your kind of abusive childhood is going to react.” He walked out of the room in a huff and the woman inside me wanted to grab him and force him to see me as a hungry and insatiable animal.
Chapter 3
I went out into the hallway and began to call in each individual on my list. It was going to be a long and tedious day and no doubt I was going to uncover some painful truths along the way.
His office became the scene of many crying and showing their fragile emotional states. I couldn’t help but admire Jules for considering bringing a professional in to look after these people. It showed that he was conscientious, but I knew underneath he was just doing it to save face.
I had my last appointment of the day and the hours seemed to slip by without even being noticed. I was completely enthralled with each individual story and I made good use of my education.
“I was on the front line and I feel guilty like I did something wrong. I know it’s true about everybody having the right to legal representation, but this man was a despicable human being. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to wrap my hands around his throat when he came in for consultation.” Janine was Jules second in command and she had been affected most of all by the decisions made.
“I know this has to be hard, but you were only doing your job and life has a funny way of throwing curveballs. You need to handle things in a more constructive manner and you can never lose sight on what is important in your life.” I was tapping my pen against my
knee, but the one thing I couldn’t stop thinking about was getting Jules into a compromising position.
“I don’t know how you can say that and you have no idea what kind of demands he has put on us. I’ve tried to be there for everyone, but who was there for me when I was losing it.” Her wild mane of wavy hair was a frazzled mess and the light gray was obviously because of the stress she was under.
“It’s going to be a hard road and there are no shortcuts unless of course, you’re willing to pay me under the table.” My attempt at levity was met with the cheerful grin and I reached for a nearby tissue to wipe the tears staining her mascara.
“You have no idea how to nice it is to talk to somebody without feeling judged. My own family turned their back when they saw me because they considered what I did as helping the enemy. I’ll find a way to smooth the troubled waters and after all, they are my family and I can’t exchange them for another.” This time, I was the one that was left to laugh underneath my breath.
“Ahem…I’ll be here for as long as all of you need me to be and there are no time restraints. Everyone will get their chance to say what is on their mind and I’ll do what I can to make things better. I can’t promise miracles and the one thing we should all take from this is some jobs can be taxing to the point of weighing you heavily down with a burden.” I could see the looming shadow behind me and I didn’t have to look over my shoulder to know Jules was taking a special interest.
“I’ll do what I can to convince Jules to keep you around. I don’t know about the others, but I feel a lot better talking to you. You have compassion and anytime I try to bring up anything negative, Jules stops and throws his hands in the air in self defeat.” It did sound like something he would do and I had no doubt he was suffering without anybody seeing how this was affecting him.
