by Stella Bryce
“I’m here to see how you’re making out. How are you feeling?” He was sincere.
“Why?” She was torn. If she let down her guard, he might get to her. And yet, her heart lifted on seeing him. “I’m dosed up on medication, but we’re going to start weaning them down. I’m going home soon. You?”
He shrugged. “When they release me, I guess. I haven’t been given a date yet. They mentioned something about transferring me to a rehab for therapy, but it’s not set in stone.”
“I can’t remember if I thanked you. I would have never gotten out on my own.” The emotions bubbled up as she lost control. “I was horrified, scared, and in so much pain. And seeing you there, knowing I was responsible…and you know, the whole bear thing kind of freaked me out…and…” She was rambling again.
“Do you want me to go?” Ian asked. “I can leave you alone. I should have asked before I came here.”
“No. Please stay. I just don’t know whether you hate me or why you’re here. I’d hate you if the circumstances were reversed.” She was confused.
Ian agreed. “I get that. I was angry…really mad. I even hated you for a while. That’s why I didn’t come by at first. I needed to work through that. And yet I was torn up inside, shredded, not knowing if you were okay. They wouldn’t tell me anything about you because I’m not family. They weren’t allowed.”
“Look, your responsibility to me is over. You’re a hero. You did your job. Go live your life and don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine and make a full recovery. It might go slowly, but it will happen. It’s not your job to check on me. Can’t you see I’m bad news?” She had no idea how she’d manage on the farm. She’d need to hire help that she couldn’t afford. The community stepped in, but they could only do that for so long.
“Is this the part where you want me to feel sorry for you? Yeah, I don’t. It’s not pity that brought me here, but the woman that pulled up strength from deep inside to get out of the forest. That’s who I came to see. The warrior and beautiful goddess that overcame her fears and pain and worked as a team to get us help.” Ian stated his case.
Dallas was stunned. Her heart beat louder than thunder, booming in her chest. “Warrior? Beautiful goddess? Is that what you see? I see a trembling, weak woman hating herself for hurting you. How can you sit there and be nice to me? Yell at me. Do something, just make me pay for what I did to you?” The tears came fast and hard.
“Would it make you feel better? Would it change anything? That’s not the answer. What happened was an accident. The timing, the circumstances, we couldn’t have known what we’d be in for that day.” He shook his head. How could she not see it that way?
“You lost your leg in one of my traps. How can you sit there and be nice to me?” Her agitation rose, the panic grabbing her by the throat. She pleaded, “Please, tell me how horrible I am. Tell me that I ruined your life and you hope that I suffer for what I did.” Dallas couldn’t stop crying.
Ian reached forward and took her hand. “I forgive you. Let go of the pain that’s washing over you. Don’t let it hold you a prisoner for life.”
Dallas looked into Ian’s eyes and saw something she’d never noticed before. A flicker, a glow, radiance that was shining back at her…almost like he was healed being around her. Did he want to be sitting by her side? Dallas swallowed hard. “Thank you,” was all she could whisper.
Chapter 8
Ian needed to say good-bye. Their time had been tumultuous, filled with spiked emotions. His ride was there, and he was finally going home. A nurse wheeled Ian into Dallas’s room. He’d be allowed to use crutches when he left the hospital, but it was strict hospital policy to transport him this way when he wasn’t with a therapist. Ian wanted to see her face again, wish her well, and then let go and move on. When he got there, she was gone.
No explanation, no note, just an empty made-up bed. She’d checked out before him and didn’t say good-bye. Ian’s gut twisted. “Right,” he said to the nurse, “I guess we’re finished here.” He wanted to say good-bye. She obviously didn’t. He got it. They were strangers. Who cares that they went through something traumatic together? It didn’t bond them for life. He was foolish to think otherwise.
The dead weight of a boulder sat on Ian’s chest. She was gone. Just like that. Gone. Why did he want to see her anyway? Hell, she was responsible for all of this. He was better off remembering that important detail. She’d stolen his leg, his life as he knew it, and she was better out of his life than in it. He wanted to be angry, to hate her with every ounce of his being, but he knew it was a lie. He just wanted to see her face again.
Ian thought about his leg as the nurse wheeled him back to his room. In bear mode, how will it feel to run with three legs in place of four? His balance, his power, and his place in life had all changed. Ian scowled; she ruined him. This was her fault. He needed to pound that into his head. Instead, his heart thundered and his mind circled the thought of her like a python wrapping around its prey. He couldn’t let go. Ian’s shoulders sank lower as his heart crumbled into pieces. He was dizzy with confusion. How could she have left without saying good-bye?
Returning to his room, he saw her sitting at his bedside, waiting on his return. “There you are,” she said.
“You came?” Ian felt the boulder fall from his chest.
Dallas was surprised. “How could I not say good-bye?”
“I thought you were here going to be here longer? I have no way to contact…” He stopped mid-sentence, his heart in his throat. “Probably better that way. Anyway, good luck.” He stuck out his hand, trying to distance himself the best he was able. Getting attached wasn’t an option.
“The doctor released me. My wounds are healing better and quicker than he expected. I’ve got a long way to go still, but he thinks I can leave the hospital and round the clock care,” she explained. “You can contact me. I just assumed you wouldn’t want to. I mean…” She looked down, unable to finish, swallowed in guilt.
“Right. Well, it’s good to see you. Good luck.” He wanted to say more, but knew it was a mistake. They both lived separate lives, different lives…completely different. And it’s not like he wanted more than to get on with his life. He had things to do, things to adapt to, things to learn, things to forget. Like her face, or the smell of her skin pressed tight to him as they staggered and clawed their way out of the woods. Besides, he was a bear. A shifter. He didn’t live his life as only a man. She wouldn’t understand that. How could she? How could he ask her to? And what a crazy thought, why was he even going through this? This woman, this monster had set steel traps to maim and hurt woodland creatures. Were there still more traps out there? Sure, she was trying to protect her livestock, but there were better ways. She relied on an easy, primitive method, and look where it got them.
“You too.” Dallas wanted to say more, but the words wouldn’t come. She wanted to tell him that she’d miss him. How crazy was that? She barely knew him. She wanted to tell him that he saved her life again. She wanted to thank him, apologize, and feel his strong arms around her. Pressed to his hard body, his arm around her, she knew he’d take care of her and get her out of the woods safely. She wouldn’t have been able to do it without him. He was her hero. Was she only drawn to him because of that?
“My ride is waiting downstairs.” He nodded to the nurse. He was ready to go.
Dallas swallowed hard. “Take care,” she called out behind him. “My ride is here too. I need to get going.”
As they left, two nurse aides pushed them into the elevator together and then pressed the button to take them to the lobby. The awkward silence pierced the air.
“There’s my ride.” She waved at a man waiting in the lobby.
“Wait. What?” Ian was confused. Was this some kind of weird joke? “Frank?”
A tall, slender man walked over to them. “Hey guys. Perfect timing! You don’t mind that I’m dropping off another friend too, do you? When she called and said she needed a ride…I
couldn’t believe the timing. I knew I’d be here anyway.”
The couple looked at one another. “What?”
“Frank is your ride? How do you know Frank?” Ian asked.
“How do you know Frank?” Dallas looked at Ian.
“We go back,” was all Ian said. He eyed Dallas, waiting for her answer.
“Frank used to work on our tractors, before we finally upgraded to newer equipment,” she said. “We got to be friends, talking while he was working at the farm.” She eyed up Ian, waiting for more details.
“Frank taught me how to repair small engines a while back. We hang out time to time.” He looked at Frank. “You never told me you worked out of the Mountain View Crest area. How do they take that down there?”
Frank shook his head, “Ex-nay on the…”
“You’re one of them?” Dallas was shocked. “Are you a shifter type of person thingee?”
“Thingee?” Frank laughed. “And yes.”
“I never knew.” Her jaw dropped.
“I never thought it was necessary to mention it. Does that change things?” He arched an eyebrow.
“You’re right, it wasn’t, but just…my mind is blown.” She sat looking at him. There was no way to tell. He looked like every other man she knew.
Ian interrupted. He noticed the way Frank was smiling at Dallas. He obviously found her attractive. “Are we about ready? I can call a cab if you’d prefer. I probably should have, sorry to have troubled you.”
“No trouble, but ladies first,” he said, helping Dallas stand and get into his car. He turned and leant a shoulder to Ian. He whispered to him. “You’re not going to tell her, are you?”
“Nope. What’s done is done.” Frank’s business was his own. Besides, he cleaned up his act. Heck, the fact that he was a rehabilitated convict wasn’t anybody’s business but his own. He learned his engine repair skills during his time behind bars in juvenile jail. His teens were a tumultuous time. Ian hated that he was the one who put him in jail. Frank thanked him eventually, it just took time. He cleaned up his rebel and drug using ways. It saved his life, whether he wanted to admit it or not. The time behind bars turned him around, and now Frank was making a name for himself with his skills. Frank was one of Ian’s past foster brothers.
“Thanks.” Frank helped Ian settle in, then added, “She’s pretty. Sometimes I forget how pretty.”
Ian balled his fist and clenched his teeth. Frank better not put a single finger on her or touch a hair on her head. She wasn’t available. Ian froze. He didn’t expect the last thought. He’d grown territorial of a woman that didn’t belong to him. What business was it of his if Frank liked the girl? Dallas wasn’t his girlfriend. He held no claims to her. His belly knotted. He couldn’t lie to himself. The idea of anyone touching her…
The tires screeched hard on the pavement pulling Ian out of his thoughts. Frank’s breathing was ragged, as he tried to catch his breath. He turned to Dallas and placed his hand on her arm. “Are you okay?”
Ian watched from behind. “What happened?”
“The dog made it, that’s all that matters.” A dog shot across the road out of nowhere and then took off. Frank’s quick reaction left him inches away from hitting the dog. The dog scampered off quickly, unharmed.
“Dog?” Ian looked around.
“There was a dog. It ran out into the middle of the street. He’s okay though,” he said. He still hadn’t moved his hand off of Dallas’s arm.
Ian tensed the muscles in his neck, as his nostrils flared. He stared at Frank’s hand, and only relaxed when Frank finally moved his hand back to the steering wheel.
“Sorry to add excitement to your trip.” He turned left and headed to Mountain View Crest.
“Why don’t you drop off Dallas first?” Ian suggested. “Then you don’t have to crisscross back and forth to get home.”
“Oh, after I drop you off, I thought I’d stay and help Dallas get settled,” Frank answered.
“Aww, that’s so sweet of you,” she responded. “But really, I’ll be okay.”
Ian’s chest tightened. “In that case, let’s both go. I’m sure another set of hands would help.” Ian hated what was happening.
“No offense, buddy, but you’re still kind of getting your balance. Do you think you’ll be able to do much?” Slam.
The silence was deafening. Ian swallowed hard. Frank was right of course, but his pride refused to be pushed down. “I’ll figure it out,” he grunted.
“Ian, that’s so nice of you, but you don’t have to, really.” Dallas tried to make him feel better. Or was she saying she wanted to be alone with Frank?
“Whatever.” Ian had nothing left to say.
Chapter 9
Ian picked up his pace. The more he got used to his leg and the feel of it, the better it got. He was a regular at the gym, pushing, moving, and forcing himself to get stronger. He wanted back on the fireman’s active docket at the department, but he wouldn’t be cleared until he could pass some physical testing. It killed him sitting on the sidelines. There were rumblings that his time as a fireman was coming to an end. He was struggling to prove himself, but there were doubts. Nobody wanted to be the guy stuck on the end of the line with him if he couldn’t give one hundred and ten percent. As sad as it was, fighting fires was life and death.
He passed most of the testing, and then had to accept one small limitation when it came to a test that he went over in time. He’d lost his drive and accepted a desk position in dispatch until he was fully back up to speed. A piece of him died when he realized he wouldn’t be out on the line. Ian drifted alone, lost. All his therapy, all of his hard work, didn’t pay off this time.
Part of the push, part of his drive, part of his reasoning was to get his life back to normal. As normal as it could be before Dallas happened. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Every single time he’d push himself physically, he was trying to force her out of his mind.
***
When Frank showed up at the firehouse, it came as a surprise. “Hey, how are you doing?”
“I’m doing.” Ian’s answers were short.
“How’s the leg, er, umm…” He stumbled, not sure whether to ask about the remaining leg or the piece that was missing. He’d never known somebody with an amputation before.
“It’s fine. What brings you around?” Ian waited.
“That chick, you know the one, Dallas, the girl from the hospital that has the sheep farm… Anyway, I saw her the other day and she was asking about you. She wanted to know if I knew where to find you.”
Ian clenched his jaw tightly. “And?”
“I told her I’d hook her up. I wanted to check with you first. She’s a fine specimen. I’d like to tap that,” he said with a grin.
Ian wanted to punch Frank in the face and crush his throat for talking about her like an object. “You two?” Ian quizzed.
“Nah, you know I’m tight with Alice. I mean, sure she’s a looker and all, but I wouldn’t do that to my girl.” Frank admitted his loyalty to his girlfriend.
Ian relaxed. Frank and Dallas weren’t a pair. All this time…the games his mind had played on him. He tried to push her out of his mind, forced himself to move on, but she haunted him. He needed to see her again. “I’ll drop by sometime. Thanks,” he said, not wanting to seem anxious. He’d drop by the moment he could…like today…as soon as he was free. He couldn’t wait another second.
“Right.” Frank nodded and saw Ian’s mood go from stormy to calm.
Ian watched the clock. Twenty-five more minutes. He thought he might die. The clock had never moved so slowly before. It was like molasses on a flat surface, barely budging. Time moved slower than it seemed possible. Only twenty-four more minutes until he could get out of there. Each time the second hand moved forward it seemed to stick, not wanting to move again; seconds felt like minutes, and minutes like hours.
When the clock reached his freedom, he tore out of there as fast as he could. Driving would
be faster than running, but if he didn’t let his bear out for a little while, he might not be able to control the urge when he got to her. No, no. Calm down. All he said was she asked about him. He missed her more than he wanted to admit. Ian took a deep breath and chose his car. He’d run free later. He wanted to get there as soon as he could.
He knew the way. He’d driven by her place more than a dozen times. He could never make himself stop. This time he pulled onto the long pebbled and dirt driveway that led to the farmhouse. A cloud of dust kicked up behind his vehicle as he drove.
Dallas stepped out of the barn to see who was coming. She heard the tires crunching over the small rocks that were layered on the driveway. A car she didn’t recognize was making its way closer. She stood, casting the sun out of her eyes with the shield of her hand.
When the car parked, she waited for the door to open. She wasn’t expecting anyone. She certainly wasn’t expecting who got out. A smile spread across her face as she ran to him. Wrapping her arms around Ian, she accepted his arms tightly around her. “Where have you been?” Dallas whispered. Her heart was thundering in her chest.
Ian was choked up. He could barely speak. “I’m home now.”
“About time…how have you been?” Dallas pulled back the tiniest bit, almost afraid to let go, but ran her fingers tenderly over his face. “I need you.”
“I know the feeling.” He grinned then leaned in closer, his lips brushing against hers as he stole a kiss…a kiss that he’d waited for, the very kiss that revived him.
Dallas’s lips were soft and gentle, but hungry for more. Tasting him, his mouth on hers, it was all she could think about for way too long.
The couple clung to one another, afraid to let go. It didn’t matter what happened between then and now, they’d bonded in a way that words couldn’t express. Having to rely on one another and work through their fears had pulled them together, braiding them as one. And then recovering in the hospital, only they knew what they’d been through. Ian’s life had been empty and meaningless since she left and went back home. He tried to fill the empty space in his heart with work, with anything, but he knew he wouldn’t be complete without Dallas in his life.
