by C. M. Albert
“Relax, Li—Olivia,” he said, catching himself. “We’ve got all summer.”
“It’s something I enjoy doing. Plus, I could really use the focus right now. I need to keep busy.”
“You’re really running from something in there, aren’t you?” he asked quietly, surprising me.
“How’d you know?”
“You’re not the only one with buried pain.”
He got up, stretching long, hairy legs that for some reason did things to my insides. He was fair-haired, and the curls looked soft and inviting from beneath his running shorts. My hands had no right to reach over and find out, though. And my head seriously needed to be examined.
It was after four by the time I fell asleep. And all I could dream about was what pain Brighton was hiding.
Chapter 9
Brighton
I’D HAD NO right stopping at Olivia and Ryan’s as I did last night after my run. It was true that I couldn’t sleep, and that running was my stress reliever and sleep inducer. For some reason, seeing Olivia and Ryan together reminded me of all I’d lost, the weight crushing down so heavily on me I had to run to escape it. So, I’d laced up and jogged a couple of miles until I finally burned through those heavy feelings enough to call it a night.
That said, it hadn’t escaped me when Ryan mentioned Stitch’s 2:00 a.m. bathroom breaks, and I might’ve done my best to time my run to coincide with a chance of bumping into Olivia. I knew I was a bastard, but the woman was seriously the most beautiful creature I’d ever laid my eyes on. She wasn’t mine to have—and she never would be. But I couldn’t stop myself from finding ways to catch a glimpse of her, ever since that first day I’d met Ryan.
And I hated myself for that because Ryan was one of the good guys.
But seeing Olivia lying there against the lounge chair last night under the moonlight in nothing more than her thin cotton nightgown . . . let’s just say it drove me to a cold shower and a restless night as my mind went in directions it had no business going with another man’s wife.
I finally pulled myself out of bed at seven. It was the weekend, so the work crew wouldn’t be joining me. But Ryan would. He’d offered to come help sand the formal staircase and replace the broken spindles.
I hadn’t been planning on staying at an active worksite with the type of renovations we had going on, but I lived almost two hours away, and the drive was getting to be too much to do twice a day. So, for now, a king-sized air mattress in one of the guest rooms would have to do. Eventually, I’d finish the room I was sleeping in and buy a real bed so I wouldn’t need to spend the first thirty minutes of my day having to stretch out the kinks.
I heard a knock at the front door and padded over, opening it in nothing but my shorts. Olivia was standing on the other side of the door, three coffees in a drink holder. She looked adorable in some sort of soft, camouflage, overall shorts and a white tank top underneath. The bib cut off right at her breast line, and when I looked closer, I realized I could see through the sides of her overalls. The tank top didn’t quite go all the way down under the outfit’s stringed waistline, and I could see the bare skin of her hip bone. I already had a morning woody, and seeing Olivia all freshly showered, smelling like flowers, and standing there with coffee for me wasn’t helping.
“Wasn’t expecting you this morning,” I said, my voice scratchy from sleep.
Her eyes dropped to my cotton sleep shorts and I knew what she was seeing, but I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. “You brought coffee?”
“I—”
Ryan came up behind Olivia, putting his hand on her back. “Morning, Kerrington,” he said. “Go on in, Liv.”
When she hesitantly walked forward, and Ryan came in beside her, he saw the issue. “Damn, Brighton, go take a cold shower or something. Looks like we came over a little too early and woke someone up.”
Glad Ryan thought it was so funny.
I grabbed one of the coffees from Olivia’s outstretched hand, then bolted to the downstairs guest bathroom. I locked the door, leaning my head back against the cold tile of the shower as freezing cold water washed over the long, hard planes of my body. Did I mention “hard”?
There was only one way to fix this, and the quicker I did the better. I closed my eyes, seeing a tumble of long, blond hair, aviators resting on top of Olivia’s head. And those long, athletic legs that weren’t mine to fantasize about. I was surely going to burn in hell. But right now, under the freezing cold spray, I’d have willingly traded my soul for a chance to switch places with Ryan for just one night.
THIRTY MINUTES LATER, I was clean shaven and relaxed, a smile on my face as I went out to the kitchen. The familiar sound of a sander filled the hallway as I made myself some eggs. I popped my head around the corner, surprised to see Olivia sitting on the front porch with a sketch pad, her hair piled on top of her head in some sort of messy updo that left little tendrils of her hair escaping wildly, and her long, lean neck bare.
Ryan was one lucky SOB.
I glanced over to where Ryan was sanding the stairs and saw him look away. Shit. It wasn’t the first time he’d caught me checking Olivia out. I really needed to be more careful.
He turned the sander off, setting it down on the step he was working on. He wiped his brow with his forearm. “See you’ve worked things out.”
“Sorry about that,” I said, sheepishly. “Can’t help a strong morning salute.”
Ryan chuckled, lifting his coffee to his lips. “No harm, no foul.”
“Thanks for helping with the stairs today.”
“Yeah, no problem,” Ryan said. “Keeps my mind off things.”
“Thought you were taking the summer off?”
“I am,” he said, his eyes darkening. “Between you and me, things have been kind of tough between Liv and me lately.”
“Sorry to hear that,” I said sincerely. I never would have guessed; they seemed so solid.
“It’ll be okay. We’ve just had a hard few years. We lost a baby last November,” Ryan admitted, causing my eyes to snap up and meet his.
“Dude, I had no idea. I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Thanks,” Ryan said, glancing out at his wife, who was sketching away on her jumbo-sized drawing pad. “I appreciate you letting Liv show you some ideas for the house. She’s amazing at what she does, and I know she can already see a vision for this place. Once something gets in her blood, there’s a fire inside her that can’t be tempered until it burns its course. It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with her.”
I looked at Olivia in a whole new light, her nighttime confession of buried secrets suddenly making so much more sense.
“I haven’t seen this fire burning inside her for a long time,” he murmured.
“Glad I could help,” I said roughly.
Ryan looked at me, and I froze. Did he suspect the attraction I felt toward his wife? I mean, I’d never act on it, whether we were friends or not. But it was hard not to be taken by Olivia. The minute his dark brown eyes pegged mine, I knew.
“I’d do anything to make that woman happy again,” he said, pulling his goggles back over his eyes and turning on the sander again.
I watched as Ryan took his frustrations out on the stairs, wondering what in the world I’d gotten myself into with these two.
Chapter 10
Ryan
I MOSTLY STUCK to the stairs all day, but my eyes followed Brighton and Liv around all afternoon as they hashed out her plans. At one point I glanced over and saw them huddled over the kitchen island, their heads nearly touching. I noticed the way her body unconsciously leaned into his. The way he looked at her like she hung the moon when she laughed.
It felt like a knife lodging into my heart, but I’d push the damn thing in even farther if it made Liv this happy.
I wasn’t stupid. Kerrington was a good-looking guy. Whether she realized it or not, Olivia was attracted to him. I knew she’d never act on it—I wasn’t worried about that. But a small p
art of me wondered if it would help. If it would wake her up from the sleepwalking she’d been doing over the last few years since our first miscarriage.
She thought she was okay after that, trying to stay positive about the baby we’d have together one day. But the next miscarriage changed something in Liv. It’s what started the fault line in our marriage, too. The irony was, that baby, our second baby, had been created out of our deepest love for one another.
Our commitment to stand with each other no matter what.
It was only a couple of months after our first loss that Olivia woke screaming in the middle of the night. It was the start of her long journey with night terrors. I’d cradled her against my chest, our bodies naked in sleep as they always were back in the beginning of our marriage. Her whole body shook against mine as she released torrents of tears she’d kept buried inside. We spent the whole night comforting and soothing one another.
It was that night, while I was buried deep inside of her, that we made our pact.
“I need you to be honest with me, Liv. No matter what. The only way we’re going to get through this is with complete and utter honesty. I’ll do whatever I can to support you, but I have to know what you’re feeling if I’m going to help you.”
She nodded, her mouth finding mine and mingling the salty trace of tears with our kisses.
“No matter what,” she breathed out as I rolled my hips slowly, pressing so deep inside of her she shuddered. “It’s always you and me, Ryan. No matter what happens with our family, I’m not okay unless we’re okay.”
I thrust deep, causing her to cry out as she held on tightly, wrapping her body completely around mine. “There’s nothing that will ever come first before you, Olivia.”
“I won’t hold anything back again,” she promised.
“One hundred percent complete honesty. I mean it,” I growled, sucking on her throat.
Her body arched against mine. “Truth,” she gasped.
“Truth,” I said, letting her swallow the words on my lips as I came inside her.
I meant to pull out, but we were so overcome by our renewed closeness, and the truth pact we’d committed to. I knew in that moment that we were indestructible. That the pain we’d gone through with losing our first baby was the worse we’d ever face. If we could get through that, we could get through anything.
I was so naïve.
Chapter 11
Olivia
RYAN WAS ACTING strange all day, but when I asked him about it, he just wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed the tip of my nose, sending butterflies to my tummy. We took a much-needed break when Brighton had sub sandwiches delivered to the house. We decided to eat them at our place since there was so much dust, thanks to Ryan’s progress on the stairs over the last few days. The air was so thick we’d all had to cover our mouths and noses. So, when we stepped into the bright sunlight, removing our sweaty masks, it was easy to smile with gratitude, taking in a deep lungful of clean, afternoon air. I hadn’t felt this carefree in a long time.
“You know what we ought to do?” I said with a sudden burst of excitement as we crossed the yard.
“What’s that, babe?”
“We should take Brighton to the Hole,” I said, grinning. There was a fun energy in the air today, and I didn’t know how long it would last. I wanted to hold onto it with both hands.
“Would that make you happy?”
I had to be careful because the man would do anything to put a smile on my face. I bit my lip and nodded.
“Let’s do it then,” he said.
He looked over at Brighton, who was following us over to the house to eat. “You have swim shorts in that duffle bag of yours at the house?”
“Yeah, why?” he answered, taking a sip of his Coke.
“Got a surprise if you’re game to play hooky for a couple of hours. Get some of the sweat of the workday off us.”
Brighton cocked his head, looking back and forth between us. “We could use a break.”
I jumped up and down, excitement flooding through me. I couldn’t remember the last time in seven months that I looked forward to going out and doing something. I ran the rest of the way to the house and opened the back door for Stitch to come outside while we ate lunch. The puppy ran around manically at first, trying to say hello to each of us equally while also having to pee. His bladder came first, and he trotted off to the side yard, sniffing the grass to find the perfect spot.
We sat on the same lounge chairs as we had the other night, Ryan leaning back against mine on the ground between Brighton and me. His head was resting against my thigh, and I ran my fingers through his hair as we all ate our subs and talked, getting to know each other even better.
“Where do you live when you’re not here?” Ryan asked him.
“Watertown. I was doing the commute every day, but it got to be too much. I was losing too many work hours, and when there was a problem on site, I just couldn’t respond the way I needed to. Like the time the guys hit that gas line.”
“Yeah, that was fun.” I rolled my eyes, remembering the incident a few weeks ago.
“That’s why I prefer doing most of the work myself,” he said, chuckling.
“You seem to have a lot of knowledge about renovating for someone who doesn’t do it too often,” Ryan observed.
“I know my way around,” he said.
Though it was a playful, offhand comment about something so benign, it did things to me. I thought of the way he looked at me from across the landing in the library and imagined he did know his way around.
“You staying next door for the rest of the reno, then?” Ryan asked casually.
“Yeah. It sucks being on a blow-up mattress, but it makes more sense than commuting. Once I get that back bedroom finished, I’ll move a real bed in there. Anything’s better than an air mattress,” he said, laughing. “I haven’t slept on anything that bad since college.”
I didn’t know why it surprised me that he’d gone to college. I didn’t know much about him yet.
“Where’d you go to school?” Ryan asked, taking the words from my mouth.
“Duke,” he said, biting into his sub.
I gaped at him. “You went to Duke?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, so?”
“What’d you study?” I pressed.
“Mechanical engineering.”
“And you’re not using your degree in that because . . . ?” It was none of my business, but I couldn’t imagine why he’d move away and go to such a prestigious university just to return home and throw his degree away being a handyman.
“I’d rather be happy.”
Oh.
We talked some more about lighter subjects, then went our separate ways to change into swimsuits, meeting back at the car when we were all packed up for our little adventure. Instead of taking Ryan’s SUV, we drove my Wrangler, roof off. I sat in the back so the guys could talk, resting my head against the seat and closing my eyes.
The sun whipped through my hair, and I thought about Brighton and how easy he made it all seem.
I’d rather be happy, too.
Chapter 12
Brighton
THE HOLE ENDED up being a small hike up a trail off the side of the road a few hours from home. The car ride had flown by, and Ryan and I found we had more in common than we originally thought. Once he knew I’d gone to such a good school, his academic came out, and we spent a lot of time talking about the SUNY system vs. private institutions. That and college basketball, of course.
By the time we fully ascended the trail, I realized we were at the top of a quarry, which seemed an awfully long way down. Ryan and Olivia tossed their things onto the ground and went to a large tree at the ledge. That’s when I noticed a rope tied back to a huge metal peg sticking out from the bark. Ryan undid the rope and got a good grip with both hands, then took a dozen steps back and grinned.
“Watch and learn,” he said.
I watched as he ran forward, howlin
g as he hurled himself from the side of the cliff. When he was out far enough, he let go, his body disappearing.
I ran to the ledge to stand next to Olivia, seeing the large, circular rings where Ryan had splashed into the water far below. He didn’t immediately pop back up, but Olivia didn’t seem concerned. She grabbed the rope when it swung back and held it out for me.
Ryan finally popped out of the water and yelled, “Get your sweet ass in here!”
I leaned over and cupped my hands to my mouth. “You must be talking to me!”
Ryan laughed, shaking out his wet hair. “Heck yeah, Kerrington. Get that sweet ass down here!”
I glanced at Olivia, who was wearing a huge smile, the light mood obviously contagious. “Go on,” she said.
I took the rope from her hand, stepping back as far as it would let me. “You sure this is safe?”
“Of course,” she said, laughing. “You saw it held Ryan.”
I looked at her, then glanced down at my bare chest, my pecs solid slabs of muscle. “Just saying.”
“You’re awful,” she said. “Go! You aren’t scared of heights, are you?”
“No,” I scoffed. “Just feels like you should go first.”
She grabbed the rope from me, bumping me playfully with her hip. “Move over, sweet cheeks.”
Speaking of sweet cheeks . . . I watched as Olivia pulled the rope back, the navy-blue one-piece doing little to cover her backside. She looked over her shoulder and grinned at me—my heart catching in my throat.
“As soon as I let go, you have to catch the rope on its way back so you can go next, okay?”
I nodded, unable to get my mind off the soft curve of her bottom, or how her bathing suit set off the blue in her eyes.
Before I could reply properly, Olivia ran, throwing herself over the cliff as the rope swung out. She turned right as she dropped, and I made eye contact with her. It felt like a kick in the gut, and I was suddenly terrified. I ran to the ledge, holding my breath until Olivia broke the surface, laughing out loud, her hair in long, wet tendrils around her.
