“I?” he stammered.
“You. Why not?” she jerked back at him, her round eyes suddenly as sharp as pen-knives. Her hand fluttered from its chair-arm and lit on his with a clutch of little pale nails like bird-claws. “Why not?” she searchingly repeated.
Archer, under the exposure of her gaze, had recovered his self-possession.
“Oh, I don’t count—I’m too insignificant.”
“Well, you’re Letterblair’s partner, ain’t you? You’ve got to get at them through Letterblair. Unless you’ve got a reason,” she insisted.
“Oh, my dear, I back you to hold your own against them all without my help; but you shall have it if you need it,” he reassured her.
“Then we’re safe!” she sighed; and smiling on him with all her ancient cunning she added, as she settled her head among the cushions: “I always knew you’d back us up, because they never quote you when they talk about its being her duty to go home.”
He winced a little at her terrifying perspicacity, and longed to ask: “And May—do they quote her?” But he judged it safer to turn the question.
“And Madame Olenska? When am I to see her?” he said.
The old lady chuckled, crumpled her lids, and went through the pantomime of archness. “Not today. One at a time, please. Madame Olenska’s gone out.”
He flushed with disappointment, and she went on: “She’s gone out, my child: gone in my carriage to see Regina Beaufort.”
She paused for this announcement to produce its effect. “That’s what she’s reduced me to already. The day after she got here she put on her best bonnet, and told me, as cool as a cucumber, that she was going to call on Regina Beaufort. `I don’t know her; who is she?’ says I. `She’s your grand-niece, and a most unhappy woman,’ she says. `She’s the wife of a scoundrel,’ I answered. `Well,’ she says, `and so am I, and yet all my family want me to go back to him.’ Well, that floored me, and I let her go; and finally one day she said it was raining too hard to go out on foot, and she wanted me to lend her my carriage. `What for?’ I asked her; and she said: `To go and see cousin Regina’—COUSIN! Now, my dear, I looked out of the window, and saw it wasn’t raining a drop; but I understood her, and I let her have the carriage… . After all, Regina’s a brave woman, and so is she; and I’ve always liked courage above everything.”
Archer bent down and pressed his lips on the little hand that still lay on his.
“Eh—eh—eh! Whose hand did you think you were kissing, young man—your wife’s, I hope?” the old lady snapped out with her mocking cackle; and as he rose to go she called out after him: “Give her her Granny’s love; but you’d better not say anything about our talk.”
Chapter 13
Archer had been stunned by old Catherine’s news. It was only natural that Madame Olenska should have hastened from Washington in response to her grandmother’s summons; but that she should have decided to remain under her roof—especially now that Mrs. Mingott had almost regained her health—was less easy to explain.
Archer was sure that Madame Olenska’s decision had not been influenced by the change in her financial situation. He knew the exact figure of the small income which her husband had allowed her at their separation. Without the addition of her grandmother’s allowance it was hardly enough to live on, in any sense known to the Mingott vocabulary; and now that Medora Manson, who shared her life, had been ruined, such a pittance would barely keep the two women clothed and fed. Yet Archer was convinced that Madame Olenska had not accepted her grandmother’s offer from interested motives.
She had the heedless generosity and the spasmodic extravagance of persons used to large fortunes, and indifferent to money; but she could go without many things which her relations considered indispensable, and Mrs. Lovell Mingott and Mrs. Welland had often been heard to deplore that any one who had enjoyed the cosmopolitan luxuries of Count Olenska’s establishments should care so little about “how things were done.” Moreover, as Archer knew, several months had passed since her allowance had been cut off; yet in the interval she had made no effort to regain her grandmother’s favour. Therefore if she had changed her course it must be for a different reason.
He did not have far to seek for that reason. On the way from the ferry she had told him that he and she must remain apart; but she had said it with her head on his breast. He knew that there was no calculated coquetry in her words; she was fighting her fate as he had fought his, and clinging desperately to her resolve that they should not break faith with the people who trusted them. But during the ten days which had elapsed since her return to New York she had perhaps guessed from his silence, and from the fact of his making no attempt to see her, that he was meditating a decisive step, a step from which there was no turning back. At the thought, a sudden fear of her own weakness might have seized her, and she might have felt that, after all, it was better to accept the compromise usual in such cases, and follow the line of least resistance.
An hour earlier, when he had rung Mrs. Mingott’s bell, Archer had fancied that his path was clear before him. He had meant to have a word alone with Madame Olenska, and failing that, to learn from her grandmother on what day, and by which train, she was returning to Washington. In that train he intended to join her, and travel with her to Washington, or as much farther as she was willing to go. His own fancy inclined to Japan. At any rate she would understand at once that, wherever she went, he was going. He meant to leave a note for May that should cut off any other alternative.
He had fancied himself not only nerved for this plunge but eager to take it; yet his first feeling on hearing that the course of events was changed had been one of relief. Now, however, as he walked home from Mrs. Mingott’s, he was conscious of a growing distaste for what lay before him. There was nothing unknown or unfamiliar in the path he was presumably to tread; but when he had trodden it before it was as a free man, who was accountable to no one for his actions, and could lend himself with an amused detachment to the game of precautions and prevarications, concealments and compliances, that the part required. This procedure was called “protecting a woman’s honour”; and the best fiction, combined with the after-dinner talk of his elders, had long since initiated him into every detail of its code.
Now he saw the matter in a new light, and his part in it seemed singularly diminished. It was, in fact, that which, with a secret fatuity, he had watched Mrs. Thorley Rushworth play toward a fond and unperceiving husband: a smiling, bantering, humouring, watchful and incessant lie. A lie by day, a lie by night, a lie in every touch and every look; a lie in every caress and every quarrel; a lie in every word and in every silence.
It was easier, and less dastardly on the whole, for a wife to play such a part toward her husband. A woman’s standard of truthfulness was tacitly held to be lower: she was the subject creature, and versed in the arts of the enslaved. Then she could always plead moods and nerves, and the right not to be held too strictly to account; and even in the most strait-laced societies the laugh was always against the husband.
But in Archer’s little world no one laughed at a wife deceived, and a certain measure of contempt was attached to men who continued their philandering after marriage. In the rotation of crops there was a recognised season for wild oats; but they were not to be sown more than once.
Archer had always shared this view: in his heart he thought Lefferts despicable. But to love Ellen Olenska was not to become a man like Lefferts: for the first time Archer found himself face to face with the dread argument of the individual case. Ellen Olenska was like no other woman, he was like no other man: their situation, therefore, resembled no one else’s, and they were answerable to no tribunal but that of their own judgment.
Yes, but in ten minutes more he would be mounting his own doorstep; and there were May, and habit, and honour, and all the old decencies that he and his people had always believed in …
At his corner he hesitated, and then walked on down Fifth Avenue.
Ahead of him,
in the winter night, loomed a big unlit house. As he drew near he thought how often he had seen it blazing with lights, its steps awninged and carpeted, and carriages waiting in double line to draw up at the curbstone. It was in the conservatory that stretched its dead-black bulk down the side street that he had taken his first kiss from May; it was under the myriad candles of the ballroom that he had seen her appear, tall and silver-shining as a young Diana.
Now the house was as dark as the grave, except for a faint flare of gas in the basement, and a light in one upstairs room where the blind had not been lowered. As Archer reached the corner he saw that the carriage standing at the door was Mrs. Manson Mingott’s. What an opportunity for Sillerton Jackson, if he should chance to pass! Archer had been greatly moved by old Catherine’s account of Madame Olenska’s attitude toward Mrs. Beaufort; it made the righteous reprobation of New York seem like a passing by on the other side. But he knew well enough what construction the clubs and drawing-rooms would put on Ellen Olenska’s visits to her cousin.
He paused and looked up at the lighted window. No doubt the two women were sitting together in that room: Beaufort had probably sought consolation elsewhere. There were even rumours that he had left New York with Fanny Ring; but Mrs. Beaufort’s attitude made the report seem improbable.
Archer had the nocturnal perspective of Fifth Avenue almost to himself. At that hour most people were indoors, dressing for dinner; and he was secretly glad that Ellen’s exit was likely to be unobserved. As the thought passed through his mind the door opened, and she came out. Behind her was a faint light, such as might have been carried down the stairs to show her the way. She turned to say a word to some one; then the door closed, and she came down the steps.
“Ellen,” he said in a low voice, as she reached the pavement.
She stopped with a slight start, and just then he saw two young men of fashionable cut approaching. There was a familiar air about their overcoats and the way their smart silk mufflers were folded over their white ties; and he wondered how youths of their quality happened to be dining out so early. Then he remembered that the Reggie Chiverses, whose house was a few doors above, were taking a large party that evening to see Adelaide Neilson in Romeo and Juliet, and guessed that the two were of the number. They passed under a lamp, and he recognised Lawrence Lefferts and a young Chivers.
A mean desire not to have Madame Olenska seen at the Beauforts’ door vanished as he felt the penetrating warmth of her hand.
“I shall see you now—we shall be together,” he broke out, hardly knowing what he said.
“Ah,” she answered, “Granny has told you?”
While he watched her he was aware that Lefferts and Chivers, on reaching the farther side of the street corner, had discreetly struck away across Fifth Avenue. It was the kind of masculine solidarity that he himself often practised; now he sickened at their connivance. Did she really imagine that he and she could live like this? And if not, what else did she imagine?
“Tomorrow I must see you—somewhere where we can be alone,” he said, in a voice that sounded almost angry to his own ears.
She wavered, and moved toward the carriage.
“But I shall be at Granny’s—for the present that is,” she added, as if conscious that her change of plans required some explanation.
“Somewhere where we can be alone,” he insisted.
She gave a faint laugh that grated on him.
Incensed, Newland grasped her arm and drew her near. “I need you.”
“Let go of me.”
He stared deeply into her eyes. “And you need me.”
She feigned struggle, but her eyes told him she wanted exactly the same, to be in his arms. Their bodies to be joined. To make love, to kiss, to breathe the same air. It was what their hearts, minds, and flesh craved when they were near one another. Because only then could they truly exist as one.
Desire took over reason. Talk could wait. Newland would express in passion the words that he felt. She would understand. It was nothing new, no revelation. They would make their plan tomorrow and finally be free to love each other.
Her shoulders relaxed and he felt her go limp in his arms. Her head fell back, waiting for his kiss. He drew her near, held her tightly, and began kissing her. The kiss was not delicate, but hungry. Their tongues swirled deeply and with insistence. And he soon found that his hands wandered to her bosom. He needed to feel her flesh, to undress her, and hold her in his arms.
“Come,” he said, breaking suddenly from the kiss. “We must away from here before we are discovered.”
She glanced to and fro as did he.
“Where?” he said, glancing between the houses. They had stolen away to a private terrace before, but now, there was no place to hide. The plants had succumbed to the winter trials.
“No, it’s too cold,” she said, as if reading his mind.
“A room above the tavern,” he said breathless, desperate.
“Never.”
“The Inn.”
“No.”
“I must have you.”
Because his grasp around her had lightened as he searched diligently for a place to go, he was shocked when she suddenly broke away from him. She ran swiftly toward her waiting carriage, calling out to the driver.
“Ellen,” he cried stunned at her parting from him. “Wait.” He reached for her, but she was no longer near.
He hurried to the side of her carriage. “Forgive me, my darling. Forgive my impatience. You know how I feel about you … ”
She spoke quietly to him so that the driver would not hear. “Go home to your wife, Newland.”
Her words stung his heart. “Meet me tomorrow. I must speak to you in private,” he said.
“In New York? But there are no churches … no monuments.”
“There’s the Art Museum—in the Park,” he explained, as she looked puzzled. “At half-past two. I shall be at the door … “
She turned away without answering and got quickly into the carriage. As it drove off she leaned forward, and he thought she waved her hand in the obscurity. He stared after her in a turmoil of contradictory feelings. It seemed to him that he had been speaking not to the woman he loved but to another, a woman he was indebted to for pleasures already wearied of: it was hateful to find himself the prisoner of this hackneyed vocabulary.
“She’ll come!” he said to himself, almost contemptuously.
Avoiding the popular “Wolfe collection,” whose anecdotic canvases filled one of the main galleries of the queer wilderness of cast-iron and encaustic tiles known as the Metropolitan Museum, they had wandered down a passage to the room where the “Cesnola antiquities” mouldered in unvisited loneliness.
They had this melancholy retreat to themselves, and seated on the divan enclosing the central steam-radiator, they were staring silently at the glass cabinets mounted in ebonised wood which contained the recovered fragments of Ilium.
“It’s odd,” Madame Olenska said, “I never came here before.”
“Ah, well—. Some day, I suppose, it will be a great Museum.”
“Yes,” she assented absently.
She stood up and wandered across the room. Archer, remaining seated, watched the light movements of her figure, so girlish even under its heavy furs, the cleverly planted heron wing in her fur cap, and the way a dark curl lay like a flattened vine spiral on each cheek above the ear. His mind, as always when they first met, was wholly absorbed in the delicious details that made her herself and no other. Presently he rose and approached the case before which she stood. Its glass shelves were crowded with small broken objects—hardly recognisable domestic utensils, ornaments and personal trifles—made of glass, of clay, of discoloured bronze and other time-blurred substances.
“It seems cruel,” she said, “that after a while nothing matters … any more than these little things, that used to be necessary and important to forgotten people, and now have to be guessed at under a magnifying glass and labelled: `Use un
known.’”
“Yes; but meanwhile—”
“Ah, meanwhile—”
As she stood there, in her long sealskin coat, her hands thrust in a small round muff, her veil drawn down like a transparent mask to the tip of her nose, and the bunch of violets he had brought her stirring with her quickly-taken breath, it seemed incredible that this pure harmony of line and colour should ever suffer the stupid law of change.
“Meanwhile everything matters—that concerns you,” he said. “Forgive my impertinence last evening.”
She looked at him thoughtfully, and turned back to the divan. He sat down beside her and waited; but suddenly he heard a step echoing far off down the empty rooms, and felt the pressure of the minutes.
“What is it you wanted to tell me?” she asked, as if she had received the same warning.
“What I wanted to tell you?” he rejoined. “Why, that I believe you came to New York because you were afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Of my coming to Washington.”
She looked down at her muff, and he saw her hands stir in it uneasily.
“Well—?”
“Well—yes,” she said.
“You WERE afraid? You knew—?”
“Yes: I knew … “
“Well, then?” he insisted.
“Well, then: this is better, isn’t it?” she returned with a long questioning sigh.
“Better—?”
“We shall hurt others less. Isn’t it, after all, what you always wanted?”
“To have you here, you mean—in reach and yet out of reach? To meet you in this way, on the sly? It’s the very reverse of what I want. I told you the other day what I wanted.”
She hesitated. “And you still think this—worse?”
“A thousand times!” He paused. “It would be easy to lie to you; but the truth is I think it detestable.”
“Oh, so do I!” she cried with a deep breath of relief.
He sprang up impatiently. “Well, then—it’s my turn to ask: what is it, in God’s name, that you think better?”
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