by Jamie Magee
He pulled me closer to him. “Yes,” he whispered.
My body tensed. I pulled slightly away and stared disbelievingly in his eyes.
“It makes it all worth it…when we help the darkness…our goal is to bring them to the peace we see in their eyes.”
“I can’t do this…not yet,” I said breathlessly as my heart began to race.
“This is the only memory you’re missing….and you need this to make you whole…I don’t know why, but I know you need your dad – he can be there when I can’t.”
I just stared at him. My emotions were out of control. I was furious that Bianca could have taken something so precious from me – afraid of what I’d see – and empowered by the idea that I was watched over.
“I’ll show you mom first,” he whispered as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Close your eyes,” he said quietly.
I held my breath and listened intently to everything around me.
“Feel the calm of the room, the warm sensation that tells you that you’re safe…watched over.”
I cleared my thoughts and only listened to my breath.
“See it within first – let her come to life in your mind….she’s beautiful, simply angelic; the worries of life are nowhere in her image. Her eyes smile adoringly. Her hair and body seem to float on a wave of energy. Everything around her is white and seems to glow,” he said tenderly in the addictive tone of his voice.
I held an image in my mind of this beautiful woman – as he said the words, I remembered her – I remembered that she was always here – silently watching.
“Open your eyes, baby,” Draven whispered.
I let them open slowly, and before us she was there. My heart began to pound, and fear came through every part of me. Draven put his arm around me and leaned us forward. The image of his mother stepped closer - she didn’t look at Draven; she smiled at me – like I was the most precious thing she’d ever seen. Draven had described her perfectly: her skin was almost ivory, and her hair flowed in the still of the room. Her image knelt before us, and I began to tremble.
Draven moved his hand across my back as if to calm me. “She loves you,” he said quietly.
“How can this be real?” I asked breathlessly.
The image of his mother let her hands rest on mine, and the fear I had just washed away. It was as if I could clearly see that all of the worries in life were pointless if this was the peace you feel in the end.
She slowly let go of my hand, then reached for Draven. She cupped her hand around his flawless image and leaned her forehead to his. He smiled at her and pulled me closer. She let go of him and stood before us again. Her eyes seemed to reflect a relief. I furrowed my eyebrows, questioning her calm, then she began to fade against the wave of energy she was on. Even though her image had vanished, I could still feel her.
I held my breath and looked up at Draven. He smiled tenderly. “ She didn’t leave us –she’s not trapped between this place and another; she’s simply free – watching over me until I don’t need her to anymore.”
I just stared at him. I couldn’t move because in the room I felt someone else - the presence of my father. I felt a wave of beautiful, unconditional love absorb every part of me, and tears glassed over my eyes…how could I forget such a beautiful emotion?
Draven reached his hand to cradle my face. “He’s strong, but gentle. You can see the passion for the life he had in his dark eyes. There’s a pull to him…it may be the signature of his gift in music – the one that called so many to hear him, or…simply the love he has for you - it’s powerful – beautiful….”
I started to tremble uncontrollably – the only thing worse than forgetting Draven was forgetting that I was never alone. Draven let his hand fall and tilted his head, encouraging me to look. I held his stare as a lonely tear streamed down my face.
I felt a warm hum on my hand and slowly looked down. I saw a strong hand and the image of a silver wedding band. I turned my hand to hold it and tried to understand how real this was. I could feel the warm hum of life; it was so real, silent tears began to flood from my eyes. I slowly let my eyes move from his hand, then up his arm. I hesitated, looking at his strong shoulders – images of his guitar that I’d seen in pictures flashed through my memory.
Draven moved the guitar that was across us, taking the security of his embrace away from me. I felt Draven’s hand on my back, encouraging me to look. I let my eyes rise to stare into the wonderful image of my father. His dark eyes sparkled warmly, and he smiled angelically at me. The silent tears continued to wash down my face.
His image gently pulled me forward and wrapped his arms around me. I reached my numb arms up to hold him, and my father pulled me closer. I felt life, not breaths or the sounds that a body would make – just life, a beautiful life that loved me – loved me more than I could ever imagine. My tears fell, but they weren’t of grief; they were of happiness – I felt so complete. I heard the sound of the guitar begin. I couldn’t tell if it was Draven playing or just the haunting sound, but I didn’t care either way. My father swayed me back and forth with the rhythm I heard.
As we moved to this rhythm, I saw every part of my life with him at my side. I felt my confidence build…the old Charlie coming back to life.
The music began to slow, and he let his embrace loosen. I sat back and stared at him for countless moments, trying to read his eyes. His eyes moved to Draven. He smiled slightly and nodded at his guitar. Draven slowly placed it across us again, then nodded respectfully at this image of my dad. My dad reached for my hands and placed them on Draven’s across the strings, then he leaned forward and kissed my forehead; I felt the warm sensation of love flow through me and closed my eyes. I didn’t open them until I felt it fade. He was gone – his image, but I could still feel him all around me.
Draven slowly moved his hand across my back. I looked at him as he smiled slightly, then slowly pulled me to his chest. I felt his warm lips on my temple. He started to play the chords of my song. I took over and played each chord to absolute perfection.
I heard the haunting sound of the guitar rejoice and play along with me. I played on until my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep in Draven’s strong, protective arms.
Chapter 15
I felt someone gently squeezing my knee. I slowly opened my eyes and began to stretch. Sunlight was spilling into the room from the wide windows. I looked to my side to find Draven and his guitar gone. Kneeling in front of me was Aden, smiling tenderly. I slowly reached my hand out and let my fingertips touch one of his dimples.
“Those are adorable,” I said, tilting my head and smiling a sleepy smile.
“Why, thank you,” he said as he tried not laugh.
I let my hand rest beside me on the couch. It was still warm; I knew Draven hadn’t been gone long.
“He’s taking a shower,” Aden said, moving to sit on the other side of me.
I stared forward and let last night rush through my memory. I smiled at first as the blissful memory of my father came to me, but then I remembered everything else I’d learned. I remembered that today I was going to face Britain – I was going to drive to his house – look him in the eye –and then this…whatever this is...would be over.
“You really aren’t afraid of anything, are you?” Aden said, resting his arm along the back of the couch.
I looked quickly to my side at him – I was afraid I had just shown him everything – that he knew what I was about to do. “Are you seeing me now?” I asked in a hoarse voice.
His eyes filled with sympathy as they slowly danced across my face. “There’s only one person that’s ever been able to see you clearly…and right now…he’s blind.”
I looked down and let out a jagged breath. “He’s safe…not blind.”
“Charlie, I may not be able to see you – but I can read Madison like a book. I know what you’re facing.”
I pulled myself forward and leaned on my knees. “Then you know I’m right.”<
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I felt Aden’s hand come around my shoulder as he pulled me against his side. “You’re wrong…we need you – you’re the strongest one…you’re making us weak by fighting this on your own.”
Clarity slowly began to sweep through every part of my being – I admit that I may still be missing a few memories, but one thing I knew for sure: I remembered my biggest fear.
“I always knew...” I said, looking to my side at Aden. “I always knew that…one day the darkness would come for us…that we’d reach a point where we’d saved too many – that it would have no choice but to stop us. I…I guess I just never imagined how painful the price would be.”
“What price? If you have a price – we all have one,” Aden said as he tensely leaned forward.
I moved my head from side to side. “They want me because I save the dead…they want Draven because he saves the living. You and Madison are spared from this persecution.”
“Charlie, Draven has saved more dead than he could ever dream to save alive – you both have.”
“I can’t let anything happen to him,” I said, fighting angry tears as they invaded the corners of my eyes.
“Listen to yourself -”
“No,” I said, stopping him as I stood and rubbed my hands across my face. “I know what it looks like from the outside.” I began to pace in front of him. “Like I’m some poor little girl who’s so obsessed with her boyfriend – so in love that she’d rather die than lose him.”
Aden stood and put his hands on my shoulders; I pushed them off immediately. “He has a gift,” I said through gritted teeth. “Without people like Draven, the sea of dead in need of redemption would be endless – people like him can stop it – they can invoke emotion at a distance.”
“Stop,” Aden said, successfully gripping my shoulders, making it impossible for me to move. “You’re so blind – you act like he’s the only artist in the universe. How many musicians can you name?” He paused for me to answer, but I refused – I knew it was a ridiculous question; there were countless. He tilted his head and let out a deep breath. “How many musicians do you know that can redeem the dead?”
“A few,” I said under my breath as I gently pushed his hands from my shoulders.
“For all you know, the only reason that we have a love for music is to help us deal with what we see…help us find a way to express the emotions that course through us as we witness life at its darkest moments.”
“I will not watch him be destroyed – I refuse,” I said boldly, looking into his eyes.
“Listen,” Aden said in the calmest tone he could manage. “The only thing that can destroy Draven is losing you – don’t do this; we need to run – like now.”
I shook my head from side to side as tears pooled in my eyes. “How is that fair? How is it fair that we have to leave our family behind? They’ve lost enough – this is our life – our world. I’m not running – I want to fight.”
“Then take me with you –I’ll help you fight them – how many can there be?”
I looked down, knowing there was only two. I knew if I told him that, he wouldn’t understand. I could remember the four of us facing hundreds at once. It was almost like a game – who could find the memory first – who could pick the right emotion to change them. It was a beautiful game because not only did we save souls…we found silence.
“I can’t let you come – not this time,” I whispered.
“This shield,” he said, waving his hand all around me. “It will only take you so far – there’s a point where your mind will grow tired – you need someone with you.”
“Fine…I’ll take Madison,” I said, looking away.
“Promise?” Aden said, trying to catch my eyes.
“Promise,” I said, looking up at him.
He looked down. “Alright,” he said quietly. “I trust you.” He reached his hands up and let his fingers run through his hair. I could see him arguing with himself – wanting to stop me. I had to think of a way to distract him.
“I’m gonna go freshen up…when I come back, will you show me the beat you think will go with my song? If you want to help me –help make it stronger in my mind.”
He nodded and tried to smile.
I looked down and walked to the stairs. I was starting to remember this house. It was starting to look as familiar as my house. I found a bathroom at the bottom of the stairs to the right.
I splashed water on my face to wash away the salty tears that had dried across my skin. I stretched, then leaned forward and stared at my reflection. Flashes of all the dark souls I’d saved exploded before my eyes. Any sane, normal person would have been grateful that they’d forgotten searching through the darkest moments of countless souls – but I’m not normal. I was glad I could remember them – I was glad because I could also remember the moment I’d helped them – the moment the world grew a little brighter. I was never going to let anyone take those moments away from me – those victories were mine, and I grew determined to have more – a lot more.
I let out a deep breath, then opened the door. Draven was walking by at that moment; his hair was still wet from his shower, and he smelled so good that I almost couldn’t stand it. As his eyes found mine, I found calm – in that moment, I forgot what I was fighting. He grinned warmly at me and reached his arms around my waist. His lips touched mine, and I found myself losing control in his powerful embrace. I cannot explain how good it felt when he held me tightly. He slowly pulled away. “Good morning,” he whispered.
“Morning,” I said, stealing another kiss.
“Did you dream?” he asked, still holding me tight.
I gazed back at him. “No…I barely remember falling asleep.”
He leaned in to kiss me again, taking my breath away. The only thing that stopped us was the sound of beating drums as they erupted through the house. I pulled back away from him. “He’s trying to make my song stronger,” I said, grinning faintly as I listened to the music come to life around me.
Draven walked forward, taking me back into the bathroom to muffle the sound of the drums.
“How do you feel about what you saw last night? Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked.
“I can’t…not yet.”
Anger filled his eyes as he let his hand fall into mine. “I’m not gonna stop listening.”
“I don’t want you to…just trust me.”
His eyes moved across my face. “We’re stronger together...”
“I know that – and I’m trying to make sure that we stay together – that what we do – how we help people stays alive.”
He looked down, then gently pulled my hand to guide me back to the studio.
Aden didn’t stop his beat as we walked in; he just smiled at us. Draven walked over and picked up his guitar, then brought it to me and slid the strap over my shoulder. I felt the weight of it and the power it seemed to give me, then I walked over to the couch and sat down, slowly adjusting my fingers around the strings. Then I began to play, and I played perfectly.
A grin spread across my face as I felt the music flow from my fingertips. Draven’s eyes studied me carefully as he nodded along with the music – it was as if he were committing the sound to memory. In a way, it felt like this song was making us all stronger. We played it over and over again until I couldn’t stand the strain in my fingers anymore.
Aden slowed his beat, then ended with a bang. “I knew I had it,” he said, twirling his sticks.
“Good job,” I said, grinning at him.
“You’re brilliant,” he said, pointing his sticks at me.
“That, she is,” Draven said, staring at me and trying to mask his frustration with me.
I looked back and forth between them, feeling a confidence rise inside of me. I sighed, then said. “I think I need to go; my mom will be home in a few hours, and I want a shower and stuff.”
I saw a look of concern come over Aden’s face. I looked away before he could make me feel guilty for the secrets I
kept. Draven looked between us, trying to see if he’d missed something.
“Well, be safe - don’t forget your sidekick,” he said, raising his eyebrows as if to make me confirm my promise.
I stood and smiled slightly. “I’m never alone.”
“Never,” Draven said, reaching to help me take my guitar off. I kept my eyes down and waited for him at the top of the stairs. He came to my side and laced his fingers through mine, then led me downstairs.
“Where’s Nana?” I asked him as we walked into the kitchen.
“Aden took her to play bridge this morning. She said to tell you goodbye,” Draven answered, opening the backdoor.
I climbed into the Hummer, realizing I’d left my bag in there. I thought about checking my phone, but I didn’t want to do that in front of Draven. I knew he was waiting for one thought – one second that I’d let my guard down and show him who I was fighting.
He climbed in looked around me as he put his belt on. “You alright?” he asked curiously.
“Yeah,” I said, reaching for his hand. “Did I tell you that my mom asked you to come to dinner tonight?”
He shook his head no. “Don’t you wanna spend time alone with her, though – to play for her?” he asked as he pulled forward.
“I do – but you can be the icebreaker,” I said, watching the road.
He squeezed my hand. “You can do this…it’s the one thing you’ve always wanted.”
“Getting what you want isn’t always a good thing,” I mumbled as I felt the anticipation of the moment that I’d play for my mom come to me.
He relaxed in his seat and leaned closer to me. “She wants to know you the way the rest of us do…let her.”
I smiled slightly as I reached to turn up the radio. We rocked back and forth with heavy guitar and drums as we drove to my house.
From the road, I could see that the water in the creek had risen to the base of the bridge. Draven rolled his window down so he could judge how safe it was. The wood squeaked in protest as we drove over.
Draven turned down the radio as he circled behind my house. I could feel the tension between us begin to rise again. I didn’t give him a chance to ask me again to tell him what was wrong. Once he put the Hummer in park, I leaned across the seat and kissed his lips; he pulled me close and held me so tight, it almost hurt. I didn’t think he was going to let me go, but he did after a minute or so.
