by Liza James
I traded our connection so carelessly because at the time, Fated pairings weren’t prominent. They had been slaughtered and wiped out of our race. I didn’t think I’d ever find mine, especially once I Fell. It wasn’t a tangible price for me, until Stella walked into my life alongside Luna.
Everything has changed since, and now I’m forced to push her away so that I can protect her from an even darker future than she’s already drowning in. But now, in this moment, my body yearns to help her and feed her in the way I know she needs from me. In a way I can give the Succubus that resides inside of her.
“I’ve got this,” Leon’s quiet voice berates me. He doesn’t say it territorially, but I’m quickly pulled out of the dark corners of my mind and brought back to the present. Do I want Leon to heal Stella? Fuck no. He can fucking die and leave her to me.
But should I let him? The possessive side of me is screaming at me to say no. But the logical, reasonable part of me reminds me that I gave this up for a reason and by pushing her towards Leon, I’m saving her in the process.
A low growl builds in my chest before I can stop it and Leon’s eyes narrow at me in confusion. “Why the hell are you—”
“Don’t. Don’t fucking ask. I don’t have the goddamn answers for you. Fix her, I’ll check on the others,” I say as I reluctantly pass Stella off to him. He takes her in his arms and sits back against the wall, positioning her in a way that allows him more access to her while carefully handling her.
Immediately, my body tenses and shifts into a stance of defense as I watch him with her. He shouldn’t be the one holding her, the one touching her, the one she sees when she stirs and opens her eyes. She should know that I was the one here first.
But she won’t, and that’s how it should be.
I force my eyes away from them and turn to seek out the others. Luna and Elijah are together and walking towards the back entrance of the cathedral. He looks to me and nods in acknowledgement, letting me know he’s taking care of Luna himself and away from the eyes of others.
That leaves Amelia. Who is clearly hurt and leaning against the wall that’s across from the rest of us. She’s alone, like usual, and how I believe she prefers to be. But unless one of us is the one stabbing a knife through her gut, I’m not going to let her die at the wasted hands of another.
Besides, it’s in my nature to heal people. In a completely different sense than the way I feel towards Stella. I’ve always been drawn to helping others. I feel a connection in physically healing someone else, not to them personally, but to the space around me. To the atmosphere and magic, to the world itself, if that makes sense. It’s an intrinsic craving that I love to fulfill.
So, I quickly make my way over to her, refusing to look back over my shoulder at the one person I actually care about. Amelia is on the ground, her back pressed tensely against the wall as her head leans back and her eyes shut in clear discomfort.
“Amelia,” I state flatly, urging her to look at me. “I’m going to need you to tell me what’s going on and how you feel.”
“Leave me alone, Nathanial. I’ll be fine, believe me. I’ve survived a lot worse than a fucking Cambion attack.” Her voice betrays her though, it’s shaking with what I can only assume is fear and pain from the injuries to her body.
I crouch down in front of her, careful to maintain a small distance between us. “Open your eyes, Amelia. Look at me and say that again,” I demand, knowing she won’t be able to keep her composure with open eyes.
I may hate Amelia for what she’s done over the last several years, to both my brother and Luna. But I know her. I’ve known her for a long time, and I know when she’s lying to my face. She won’t be able to hide that.
Slowly, her eyes pry open and she meets my hard gaze with an even icier one of her own. She’s learned how to close herself off to the people around her, to the emotions warring inside of her body. But the pain makes it more difficult, I know she’s fighting through the physical agony in order to hold her walls in place.
“Leave. Me. Alone.” She states the words on harsh intervals, but I refuse to listen. I launch forward and take her hands in mine, flipping them over and choosing to begin my quick perusal there.
I casually move to her wrists, straightening her arm and sliding my fingers over to shift her sleeves upwards when a sharp hiss slips from her mouth and she roughly jerks her hand out of mine. My eyes shoot to hers, confusion and surprise widening my gaze when I see the hot anger simmering in her own glare.
“I said, leave me the fuck alone.” This time, her words are quiet, but no less brutal and toxic. They slam into me like a personal attack, but I don’t fuck with that and in an instant I have her pinned back against the wall with my hand wrapped around her throat.
“I’m doing you a fucking favor, Amelia. Despite everything you’ve done. Do you realize that? I’d shut your goddamn mouth unless you’re uttering the words ‘thank you’, and let me do my fucking job.” I release my hold slightly when her face inches closer towards mine. I watch as her eyes quickly slip to the side, looking over my shoulder before her body presses against my chest and she moves to shift me backward.
Confusion washes through me, but I’m not stupid and I know she’s dancing along some dangerous line in order to make a point. I have the strangest feeling that the point isn’t for me though, so I cautiously allow her to move closer. I maintain my hold on her throat, using my strength to remind her that I could break her in a second if I need to.
Her eyes narrow just slightly, those ice blue daggers boring into me as her lips part slightly and she takes a slow breath inward. Immediately, I know she’s pulling from my essence, looking to sustain herself by drawing from me. I wouldn’t usually allow it, but after the attack and with how chaotic the last couple of days have been, I’m slower on the defense than I should be.
She takes a taste, a small one before I quickly cut myself off from her, pushing her back and placing that distance between us again. A quick flash of surprise coats her features before a slow, slick smile tugs at her lips. “That’s interesting, you taste—”
“Like nothing. Like not one goddamn thing, Amelia. You fucking remember that.” I turn to look over my shoulder, readying myself to stand and walk away from her, knowing she’s at least partially healed from the quick feed she stole from me, when I my eyes collide with Stella’s harsh gaze.
Her face is unreadable, completely impassive as her eyes bounce back and forth between myself and Amelia. I intentionally hesitate my movements for just a moment, allowing her to watch and let her mind make whatever assumptions she’d like to from this little encounter. Leon sits behind her, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist as he also watches us tensely. A flare of possession breaches through me, but I choke it back down, along with any other toxic thoughts I have of Stella.
Her and Leon are perfect for each other. He can fucking have her.
It’s been four days since the attack, and I can honestly say that I’m ninety-eight percent sure both Nathanial and Elijah have lost their God forsaken minds.
The house has gone on complete and total lock down and the boys are basically refusing to sleep. We also haven’t left the vicinity in four days, which means we’re all literally driving each other up the fucking walls.
Nathanial and I have been at each other’s throats, constantly arguing about one thing or another. Luna tries to keep the peace but hell, if you throw Amelia into the mix it turns into an all out world fucking war.
And don’t even bother asking Elijah to step in. Fuck no, he sits back and enjoys the damn show, eating his shiny ass apples and pulling Luna out of the chaos in order to keep her for himself.
“We’ve got to do something—please. I’m fucking hungry, I need to feed and I’m dying for some fun.” It’s getting hot too, so the radiating warmth outside is dampening my skin and making everything extra sensitive. My attitude, and my physical touch are on all new levels of annoyance.
“Shut the hell up an
d sit the fuck down. You aren’t going anywhere, how many times do we have to have this fucking conversation?” Nathanial’s growl doesn’t surprise me anymore, but it licks across my skin and frustrates the hell out of me. Sometimes I wonder if I pick fights with him simply to hear those lethal commands. It’s twisted, I know.
“As many times as we need to have it before you say yes. I’m not staying in the house indefinitely. I’m not running from Danner, no matter what he sends our way,” I bite back, standing up from the black leather couch in our sitting room. After the attack, the guys immediately set up a conference meeting with the council members who had been present—over video of course. The Cathedral has been under construction over the last couple days to fix the destroyed window and internal damage, so no one has spent any extra time there. Everyone also agreed they believed Danner had sent the Cambion, explaining that he was able to specifically target myself and Amelia through connections he holds with the Underworld.
Elijah and Luna are watching the interaction with bored expressions. Luna tends to wait it out a bit longer before stepping in and Amelia is upstairs, hiding away from all of us.
I’m wearing a pair of cropped black leggings and a bright pink sports bra. It’s all I could manage in this heat. The windows are open and there is a light breeze, but it’s not enough. My skin is itching with so much hunger and boredom that it’s clawing through my mind and making me irritable.
Nathanial’s clearly had enough and launches to his feet from the lounger he was sitting in. His rippled abs and powerful chest are on full display, as he ditched his shirt in this heat as well. But his thinly distressed light denim jeans ride dangerously low on his hips. The black band of his Calvin’s peek out from the top, just enough to have my eyes dropping low before darting back up to his angry glare as he stalks towards me.
“What are you—” I start, but just as quickly his long arms circle under my ass as he lifts and throws me over his fucking shoulder.
“Nathanial!” Luna jumps up, running towards us just as Elijah grasps her arm and yanks her back to him, laughing.
“Put me the fuck down,” I shout, slamming my fists against his muscular back.
“Not a fucking chance, Stells. I’m sick and tired of your bullshit. I’m locking you in your goddamn room.” His voice is hard, not even a crack in the sentence he just threw at me.
He’s got to be kidding. No way in hell is he treating me like this.
We’re already up the stairs and in the hallway when I burst out laughing in both complete shock and absolute frustration. It’s a war of anger and surprise rocking through me as I throw my head back and try to jump free of his grip. But his arm tightens around my legs and his other hand flies up to literally smack my ass.
“What the fuck!” I yelp as my back arches up and I collapse against him again. The sting and forbidden pleasure ignite an entirely different frustration raging through me.
Another smack.
“Language, baby girl. I told you, I’m locking you in your fucking room until you understand that you aren’t going anywhere. Stop complaining, stop trying to change it. It’s not going to happen.” He’s not even joking, I can hear the anger rolling through his tone as he speaks to me. As if he has the right to order me around like this.
He kicks open my door and drops me to the ground as soon as we enter, but after his tone and rough touch breached my overly sensitized barriers, I can feel the white haze slipping over my eyes. I’m pissed about it, truthfully. I hate being this transparent. My eyes betray me when I can’t hide how much something is turning me on. So, I quickly turn around and face away from him. I don’t care if it looks like I’m throwing a fit, I don’t care if he thinks I’m being childish. I just don’t want him to see the effect he has on me.
“Come on, Stells. Are you serious? How do you not understand that we’re doing this to keep you safe. It’s for no other reason than protection.” The annoyance grows in his tone as it falls thickly around me in waves.
“I know. I get that, doesn’t change how I feel though. I can take care of myself. Leon’s been training me. You’ve seen it.” I attempt to logically reason with him. It’s true, Leon has been training me. He’s come over almost every day since the attack—that’s how I knew Nathanial and Elijah were seriously worried, they gave him our location. He teaches and guides me on how to physically defend myself in fights and also as a Succubus.
Well, today he’s supposed to be coming and helping me with the Succubus portion. The phase, as he likes to call it, where I’m ghosted over like I am now and can’t control it. And in this moment, I wish more than anything that he had taught me that bit earlier.
“Turn around.” Nathanial’s voice drips darkly behind me, but I try to fight it, refusing to give him the acknowledgement. “Stella. I said, turn the fuck around.” This time, I feel his body come up behind mine. He’s hot and heavy, his power radiates and envelops me until my heart is racing in my chest and I’m struggling to control my erratic breaths.
His hand falls to my shoulder and instinctually, I shift out of his grasp, but he’s far quicker and his other hand lands tightly in the space between my neckline and collar. He holds me in place roughly with his fingers cutting into my skin. His strength is evident in his hard touch and my body immediately wants to respond to him.
He dips his head behind me and his lips drift across the shell of my ear. “When are you going to start obeying, Stella?” He grits the words out through his bared teeth and my skin sparks up in need of his touch. I can’t help the whimper that slips from my lips and instantly his fingers are grasping my chin, quickly turning my head toward him so that I don’t have a choice but to meet his gaze.
My chest is rising and falling in quick intervals as I watch him, trying to decipher the expression on his face. My body arches on its own, pressing myself even farther into his hard form, feeling his solid cock move against the small of my back. Jesus, I’m a glutton for punishment.
Becoming a Succubus, or embracing my Succubus, has been a full out war inside my mind. My body wants one thing, constantly fighting to take control while my mind works and struggles to remain firm. Sexual tension is my fucking catnip. I’m like a druggie who is continuously being tempted when I haven’t built the restraint to say no yet.
The hand on my chin drops to my stomach and he splays his fingers wide across me. He halts my movements, completely restricting my actions while his free hand slides up and around the front of my shoulder, further locking me in place.
“You keep pushing me like this and we’re going to have fucking issues.” The hand that holds me tightens, just barely. “Do you understand?” he asks, his voice a deep, sadistic injection that screams to my blood, calling me out and reaching every part of my mind, body and soul.
“Yes,” I lie, knowing the right answer to say, but also realizing that I am very likely to intentionally push these boundaries again. I can’t help it.
“Yes, what?” He pushes back just as he uses his hold on me to quickly flip me around and yank my body securely against his. Now we’re facing each other, but a hand moves to my neck in order to control me. His eye’s drop to my lips, watching and waiting for my response.
Somehow, in some unspoken, illogical way, I know what he wants me to say. The word he wants me to use. Because it’s always there between us, maybe in jokes, maybe in silence, but lingering none the less.
“Yes—”
"All right, where's my sexy little Succubus?" Leon's voice bursts through the tense space as he throws my bedroom door open. He stops and looks at the both of us, just as Nathanial drops his hand and takes a step back.
"Tsk tsk, Red. If this was a closed relationship, I'd think you were cheating on me." A look of mock disappointment flashes across his face and my eyes immediately dart to Nathanial, but he doesn't look amused.
"Come on, I need you to teach me how to hide my eyes," I cut through the tension with my own voice as I step away and toward Leon, taking his
hand in mine and pulling him out of the room. Nathanial doesn't respond, he simply watches us leave with narrowed eyes and a mild tick settling in his jaw.
Leon steps in front of me and takes the lead so that I follow him downstairs and into the large living room. Long, sheer white drapes hang from the tall windows, cascading down and gathering on the floor. There's one large, dove grey couch in the center—the one from Elijah's home—and two sable brown leather chairs that frame the windows—from Nathanial’s.
He steps into the center of the room, pulling me along with him until I'm standing in front of his taller frame. We're alone, Nathanial didn't follow us down and I assume Elijah and Luna are still in the sitting room.
"Okay, first things first. Let's fix this phase issue you've got going on." He turns me around so that my back is pressed against his front, his arms come to circle my waist as he tugs me tightly against his chest. "For one, you're showing everyone around you, the public, strangers, that you're different. You're asking for someone to attack or kidnap you and pry you apart until they find out why you are the way that you are."
My breath catches in my throat as his hand slides across my bare stomach, his fingers dragging along my skin in a sensual touch. "Secondly, you're showing other supernaturals a part of you that they don't deserve to see. You're showing them your vulnerability, a piece of yourself that you can keep guarded."
He's right, I don't want every single person to know what's turning me on. I don't want Nathanial to see it unless I'm intentionally choosing it for him. I want the choice to show others, not have it broadcasted for an audience without my consent.
"How do I hide it? It happens without my control," I ask quietly, feeling his touch drift upwards and over my shoulders. His fingers graze across my skin, the tips brushing along my collar bone and my heart rate kicks up a few notches in response. It begins slowly, that ache that forms in the pit of my stomach, the Succubus knowing and expecting something to feed from.
