by Liza James
I don’t see anything. I’m barely coming awake inside of this nightmare. But I know who it is, who it always is.
“I told you I would find you,” he arrogantly says. I disregard him, it isn’t the first time he’s made comments like this. Nathanial said he was lying. He’s always lying. “Don’t ignore me this time, little girl. I can guarantee you won’t like the way I punish you.”
“Shut the hell up, Danner,” I bite out into the darkness and just as I speak, he appears before me, slowly constructing the dream he wants to create. I glance down at myself, and appreciate a quick moment of my own strength, because I’m dressed. Ever since Nathanial and I gave into each other, ever since I’ve fed more consistently, I’ve been strong enough to alter tiny aspects of these nightmares. My lack of clothing being one of them.
“Watch your fucking mouth when you speak to me, Stella.” His voice is hard, and he stands before me in his black leather pants and usual bare torso.
I want to hit him, punch him the goddamn dick for what he says. But I’m caught off guard when the dream starts manifesting into something I’ve never seen him create before. My heart begins racing, but I try to logically explain away what I’m seeing. It isn’t possible.
Danner smiles, a cold and detached look crosses his face as he watches my reaction.
“Surprised, are you? I told you I’d find you. It was your mistake to take my promises so lightly.” His hand launches forward and wraps tightly around my throat. I try to push away from him but the scenery around me is twisting my mind into fear and regret.
It’s the woods, the ones behind our house. Our back-fucking-yard that him and I stand in during this nightmare. How could he know what this looks like? Unless he found me.
He found me.
Danner drags me forward and against his chest as he drops head and grazes his lips against my ear. “I found you, you little bitch. Now you better get the fuck outside before I come in there and slaughter your fucking sister.”
I bolt awake, snapping straight up in bed as I gasp for my own breath. I frantically search the room for Nathanial and don’t see him, the other side of the bed is empty and cold where he should be.
Internally, I panic. I search for the clock next to his bed and see that the time is nearly two in the morning. It’s far too late, and Nathanial should be fucking back by now. My mind begins spiraling with uncontrolled possibilities of what could have happened to them. Are they hurt? Does Danner have Nathanial? If something was wrong, I believe Luna would be in here waking me up and letting me know with her bond to Elijah. But it seems she’s still asleep, probably exhausted from the discomfort she’s feeling being apart from her Fated.
I don’t have any other choices. Not now that he’s found me. I can’t let my mind think of anything else. No regrets, not when it comes to protecting my family. I reach over and grab my phone, forcing back the tears as I send Nathanial a quick text. I have to. This is it, and I can’t leave without him hearing, or seeing the words I want him to remember when he gets home and I’m gone.
I love you.
We haven’t said it, and I don’t care at this point. I know it, and I’m sure he does too. We’ve all but said it explicitly and now, I want to give that to him. I painfully click send and turn off my phone, leaving it on his nightstand. I don’t want them to find me. I can’t have them risking their lives for the situation I’ve found myself in. I won’t give them up for my own safety.
I reach down and throw on my shorts and tee shirt. I was going to take one of Nathanial’s but I don’t want Danner to be any angrier than he already is. I quickly throw on my boots and race out the door, careful not to wake anyone in the house as I hurry down the stairs and turn toward the kitchen.
“Where are you going little Succubus?” Leon’s voice breaks out from the sitting room and crashes around me, sending me yelping back in surprise.
“Fucking hell, Leon,” I say, resting a hand over my racing heart. I don’t have time for this shit. “I’m going out back for a minute. Just getting some fresh air, you know. I’m worried that Nathanial and Elijah haven’t gotten back yet,” I lie, sort of. I am worried, but I have other reasons for racing out back.
“I’m sure Luna would know if something was wrong. They texted me not too long ago and said they spotted Sunan. They were trailing her for a little longer before they came back.”
Relief floods my mind. He’s right, Luna would know and the fact that they sent him an update about Sunan has me feeling reassured. They’re safe. They’re busy.
“Oh great,” I say as I take another step towards the kitchen. “I’m still going to take a breather. But I’ll be back in just a bit.”
“I swear, if you aren’t back in ten minutes. I’m coming out there and dragging your ass back inside. They’ll be home soon,” he says as he leans back down on the couch and continues browsing through his phone.
“Ten minutes, got it.”
Without a second glance back, I hurry through the back of the house and out into the yard. Once I’m free, I run. I fucking race through the dark woods in search of the man I’m surrendering to.
Déjà vu flashes in my mind as I walk across the grass and dirt. As unknown sounds break through the bushes and trees around me, I can’t help but think of the other night. When I was in such a similar situation, experiencing unfortunately parallel feelings.
I keep walking until I’m a decent distance from the house. It’s been almost ten minutes already and I know Leon will come looking. But hopefully Danner finds me first and I can get away before anything transpires.
I pause my steps and look around, scanning the trees for any possible sight of him. The moon is high and bright at this time, the light giving me glimpses amongst the forestry to know where I am behind the house. I don’t think I’m far enough away, so I decide to keep running. The farther I get, the braver I am in calling out his name, hoping to find him quickly. But he doesn’t respond, no one does and suddenly a new sense of fear unravels inside of me.
“What the hell?” I mutter as I turn around and continue searching.
Suddenly, I hear heavy footfalls. They’re approaching fast and I’m terrified to realize that Danner is coming for me. I have to be ready to convince him not to go to the house, not to punish me for staying away.
I square my shoulders and bend my knees, bringing my hands up and in front of me as I anxiously await his appearance. Louder, louder, quicker, faster.
“I swear to God, Stella. You’re fucking dead when I get my hands on you,” Nathanial’s voice roars through the trees as he emerges from the forest and stalks towards me. His hands grip my shoulders tightly as he pushes me backwards and I have to try and steady my feet in order to stay upright. He’s livid, vibrating with rage as he dips his head to invade my space. “I could fucking beat your ass for this.”
“I have to,” I whisper as I try to shove him away from me. I yank my shoulders back but he’s quick and wraps his fingers around my wrists.
“No, you sure as Hell fucking don’t. It’s a goddamn trap, Stells. Whatever the fuck he said to you. It’s a trap.” He yanks me forward and against his chest as he firmly holds me in place, pinning my hands down at my sides so that I can’t get away from him.
Tears well in my eyes as I succumb to the feeling of his body, to his strength and power as it envelopes me. The tension is thick and heavy between us, it’s powerfully consuming my mind and working through my torso as I try to detach myself from him internally. I don’t want this to be harder than it has to be.
“It isn’t a lie, Nathanial. Not this time,” I start, but my voice breaks as I force the words out of my mouth. “He found me. In the dream, it was here.”
His eyes rake over my face in confusion, narrowing just slightly as he tries to understand what I’m saying. “What do you mean, it was here? Like in the house? In the yard?”
“Here, in this forest. It was here, Nathanial. He’d only be able to create that if he knew where it was.
If I don’t go, he kills you. He kills Luna, Elijah. I’m sure he’ll get Leon and Amelia too.” I speak frantically as panic whirls inside my gut. Every decision I’ve made has led me to this moment. It’s doomed my family and the people I love because I wasn’t brave enough to take care of it when he was first searching for me.
The tears spill over my cheeks and stain my face. I’m sobbing and I can’t manage to steady my racing thoughts or destructive emotions. “He’s here.”
Nathanial wraps his arms around my shoulders as he releases my hands. I slide them around his waist and cling to his shirt, justifying the closeness as my way of saying goodbye.
“There’s no way, Stella. No way,” Nathanial says quietly, but I hear the confusion lining his tone. He’s concerned. That’s all I need to know I’m doing the right thing.
“Did you see him with Sunan?” I ask, hoping that maybe there’s a chance he was with her, maybe he isn’t here and maybe this is all a trick.
He hesitates before answering, and my heart sinks into my stomach. “No.”
I take a deep breath, inhaling his scent into my lungs. Memorizing the feel of his body against mine before I take a step back and out of his arms. But he doesn’t let me go, fuck. Nathanial won’t ever let me go.
“You have to,” I whisper as I quickly wipe at the tears under my eyes. “This is the best thing for all of us.” He steps forward but I lift my hand and swiftly place it between us, stopping his movements. “Please, I can’t do this to all of you. Please just let me go.”
“Fuck no,” he shoots forward and roughly knocks my hand away as he grips my face in his palms. “Listen to me,” he starts, his lips flatten into a tight line on his face and he grits the words out at a deliberately slow pace. He bends his head so it’s directly in front of mine, crowding me in only him. “I will never let you go. Do you hear me? Not ever. I just fucking got you, and I don’t give a fuck who tries to take you away. Not Lucifer, not that piece of shit Danner, not Leon, not one goddamn person is going to make that happen.”
He rushes forward and presses a hard kiss to my lips. It’s painful, and sharp. A powerful claim he paints my body with and I try to push him away. I shove my fists at his chest, try to yank my head away from his but he doesn’t let me. He won’t let me go. His body devours me, his mouth declaring our bond in a way that goes beyond what our blood can give us. No, this is different, and I can’t help but submit to him. I open my lips and let him slide in, our tongues clash and our teeth collide together in a searing kiss of desperate need.
“You’re not going. Get that idea out of your fucking head right now or I will tie you up in a basement somewhere you don’t know the location of, and I will never let you sleep again. I’ll keep you awake, keep you away from Danner until you fully comprehend the fact that he will never own you.” He tilts my head up and lets his gaze bore into me, punishing me all on their own in the ways only he can do.
I still struggle to believe we’ll get out of this in a different way. But a thought springs to my mind as I think of how we can possibly find him before he finds us.
“Let me project,” I start, realizing that I can locate him if I throw myself above the forest. Maybe I can catch a birds-eye view of him. “I can see if he’s near. If I can look above the forest, I can see if he’s in the woods or if he was lying.”
He watches me warily, clearly trying to decide if this is the right decision or not.
“Fine,” he says after a moment. A relieved smiles spreads across my lips but falls far too quickly when he continues speaking. “But I’m projecting as well. We go together, or not at all.”
I scoff, “Absolutely not. I have this pendant, the one that protects me.” I reach up and drift a finger over the amethyst that drips from the choker Leon gave me. “You do not. Leon hasn’t gotten yours yet. I’m safe while projecting, you’re not. I’ll only be a minute Nathanial, you can wait here for me and yell when you want me back.” I wave a hand around the air aimlessly, trying to help him understand that he’ll be able to communicate and dictate the situation still, without projecting himself.
“I’ll want you back the second you fucking project. So no, not fucking happening. Now get your ass over here and let’s go together.” He reaches forward and grabs me by the wrist, pulling me against him as he turns me around in his arms, so that my back presses against his front.
He slides his touch across my shoulders, grazing down my arms until he reaches my hands. He quickly takes them in his own, entwining his fingers through mine until we’re linked together. He wraps himself completely around me, both our arms crossed tightly around my chest. He dips his lips against the soft skin at the nape of my neck, brushing my hair aside with his nose while he moves closer and takes a heavy breath. “Are you ready?” he asks darkly, as if he’s daring me to do this with him.
“No, because I don’t want you projecting.” I respond dryly, but I flex my fingers within his hands and pull his body even tighter around my own.
He laughs as he places his lips on the side of my neck and continues speaking. “Close your eyes.”
I do as he says, shutting them tightly and focusing on the feeling I had when I projected last time. It was as if I finally let go, simply released my spirit from the binds of my body. It felt like relief, like liberation, or a yield to something so much larger than I knew existed.
I can feel the natural draw fueling between us, the same wave of power that blooms before I can release myself into the gusty winds of its strength. I slip into a whimper as I flex my shoulders and push back against Nathanial. His strong arms tense and strain around me, dragging me closer, pressing his lips and his nose even harder against my neck.
“Do you feel it?” he asks, his voice dropping lower and vibrating against my already electric skin. “The power. The pull your spirit has to escaping?”
“Yes,” I reply quietly, letting go even further as Nathanial’s teeth sink into the side of my throat. I moan as we near that edge of where I’m able to disappear. He’s taking me closer, turning me on and enlivening me at the same time.
“Stella,” he calls my name like a command and I instantly respond, turning my face towards his and seek his lips with my own. He gives them to me, sweeping his tongue inside my mouth and possessing my body with his touch. “You think you can send me a simple text message declaring your love for me?” My heart rate kicks up at the mention of what I sent him earlier and suddenly I’m anxious for his response. “Next time, you say it to my face, Stells. I love you, too.”
And just like that, I’m gone again. His captivating words giving me the last push of power I needed to slip free of my flesh.
I glance down at our entwined bodies, fallen on the ground of the dark forest as his spirit comes to stand next to my own. Glancing up at him, I give him a pained smile and lean up on my toes to press a kiss to his lips. I love what he said, but I hate that we had to say it in a moment like this.
“Come on,” he takes my hand and nods to the sky so that we can get a larger view of the area below. I’m not sure how this works, but in the next second we’re peering down at the forest floor below us. It isn’t as if we’re flying, or floating, or anything ridiculous like that. It’s simply as if we’re existing here. Wherever we want to be, we access that place in spirit.
Scanning over the grounds, I don’t see anything unusual. It’s dark, but the moonshine provides quite a bit of light to illuminate the ground below us.
“He was lying,” I breathe out with relief and in the next moment, we’re back on the ground by our bodies. “Fuck, I’m so glad.”
“I told you, he has no idea where you are, Stella. You’re safe here, we’ll figure out what to do.” Nathanial’s words calm my racing mind for a small period of time and I’m thankful for that. I want to get some sleep, and then figure out what we’re going to do about Danner.
“You know the drill, you go back first. I’ll follow directly after,” Nathanial instructs as he lifts his hand and p
oints to my collapsed physical form. I nod in understanding and move towards myself, turning to look over my shoulder at Nathanial’s projected form before I go back. “Thank you,” I say, and he offers me a knowing smile as I take my place and slip back inside my body.
I gasp, breathing in heavy breaths of thick air when I bolt up from the ground. I’m adjusting to being back in our dimension and lay a hand over my chest as I steady my breaths. I immediately turn to watch Nathanial, anxiously awaiting his bodies response after his return.
Suddenly, his chest heaves with a deep breath and his eyes fly open wide. His gaze slides to me and I instantly reach a hand out to rest on his bicep. I just want to touch him, to know that we’re here together. A slight smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth as he sits up and catches his breath for just a moment longer.
“Wow,” he says as he scrubs a hand down the front of his face. He turns to look at me, his hard gaze raking over my body from head to toe. “That was…incredible.”
I pinch my eyes in confusion, we’ve done this before and we were only gone for a moment. Don’t get me wrong, it is incredible. The ability to astral project is still so new to me, and I am amazed when we do it. But something feels different about how he mentioned it.
“What was?” I ask curiously, tilting my head to the side as he lifts a hand and trails his fingertips along the lengths of my hair.
His fingers graze higher, until he’s sliding them against the back of my head while his eyes remain impassively on my own. In an instant, his fist closes tightly, catching my hair in the tightest hold he’s ever put on me and I wince at the pain as I try to shift back and relieve some of the tension. “Nathanial—” I start, but I’m quickly interrupted by his laughter as it fills the space around us. He shoves me backwards until my body crashes against the hard ground.
“This. This is incredible. The fact that I was able to find you so fucking easily, my sweet Stella.” His words course through me, rocking my mind and ripping open my chest.
