by Monroe, Lucy
She sighed and cut some more shortening into the flour for the biscuits she was preparing to go with dinner.
She didn’t want to quit.
She liked her new job. Shorty might not know much about cooking, but he was a sweetheart. She liked the rest of the ranch hands as well…except Lonny. She enjoyed cooking for them and Win was a tidy person. Keeping his house clean was a cinch, especially with the help of maid service that came in three times a week. Mondays and Wednesdays and once on the weekend.
She liked everything about working at the Bar G except the way its owner made her feel.
Dealing with an interested male shouldn’t be so difficult. Men had been interested in her since she started wearing a bra, but Win was different. She had an almost overwhelming desire to give in to the invitation she saw in his eyes and that scared her spitless. He’d made it very clear that he wasn’t interested in marriage and she hadn’t changed her mind about an affair. First, because she believed that she deserved more than that and second, because no school board for a small town like Sunshine Springs was going to hire a teacher with a reputation for loose morals. Gossip always got around.
Awareness skittered down her spine and she spun around, dropping the pastry cutter into the ceramic bowl with a clang.
Win leaned against the wall watching her. He did a lot of that, leaning against a wall or something and just watching her. It made her nervous and hot and jittery besides, something she definitely didn’t want to deal with.
She forced a smile to her lips. “Hi.”
He pushed away from the wall and walked toward her. She started getting nervous again as the distance between them closed to less than a few inches.
She backed up, but ran into the counter behind her. “Win?”
He reached out and brushed her cheek. “I thought the flour was for the biscuits.”
“It is.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. She couldn’t seem to move away either.
“It’s not real attractive makeup, but on you it’s kinda cute.”
“No.” Then understanding dawned. She whipped her hands up and scrubbed at her cheeks, getting rid of any remaining flour Win hadn’t brushed away with his hand. “I didn’t realize I was wearing dinner.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” he said.
“What?” Was it just that his proximity had scrambled her brains, or was he really not making any sense?
His voice dropped to a husky drawl. “I wouldn’t mind you wearing my dinner.”
As the words registered Carlene felt her blood spike with both anger and desire. She forced the anger to the forefront. Placing her hands on Win’s chest, she shoved. Hard. He fell back a couple of paces.
She untied the big white apron she wore to protect her clothes with jerky movements. She yanked it off and tossed it on the table. “That’s it. I quit.”
When Win didn’t say anything, particularly, “I’m sorry and won’t you please stay?” she reached her hand out and poked him in the chest with her forefinger. “Listen here, Mr Bedroom Eyes. I’ve had my fill of you watching me like I’m a mare in heat and you’re the stallion sent to cover me. Do you understand me?”
His smile infuriated her. “I think so.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. “Just what do you understand?”
“You don’t want me to look at you like I want you.”
“Well?” she asked.
“Well, what?”
She blew out an exasperated breath. “Are you going to stop?”
He reached out and brushed his fingers down her arm. Desire pooled in her lower belly and she bit back a groan. “I don’t know if I can. I do want you, Carlene. I’m not real sure why that bothers you so much. I haven’t pushed you to do anything about it, have I?”
She had to give him that. “No. You haven’t, but that’s not the point.”
“What is the point? You don’t like feeling like you want me too? I can fix that for you, honey.”
The promise in his voice made her shiver with feelings she did not want to acknowledge or give in to. “Forget it. I’m not interested in a one-night stand and that’s all you’re offering, isn’t it, Win? You don’t want marriage or commitment.”
His fingers curled around her upper arm. “I made my feelings on marriage plain the day I interviewed you, but there’s a whole lot of ground between a one-night stand and marriage. I never said I wasn’t interested in any kind of commitment. I can guarantee you that while you share my bed, no one else will.”
“An affair?” Outrage burned through her and she twisted from his grasp. “You think a no-strings, open ended affair is an appreciable improvement over a one-night stand?”
His eyes narrowed. “You aren’t going to convince me that you’ve married every man you’ve slept with.”
The warmth of desire she had been feeling shifted to a frozen sort of pain. Win was like all the others, making assumptions based on how she looked and not who she was. Wouldn’t he just die laughing if he found out that she was a twenty-six-year-old virgin? She might look like a pinup in a girlie calendar, but she’d fought against the image her entire life.
She dated very little, in high school because she had been more interested in her studies than in boys and in college because once the men she dated figured out that she didn’t put out, they went looking for greener pastures. She had planned to change her innocent status a while ago with Grant Strickland, a truly nice man.
She had decided the time had come. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it, her timing had been off. Grant had been in love with another woman and hadn’t been interested. She still felt the heat of embarrassment when she considered how she’d thrown herself at the man. She had truly lousy instincts when it came to men she was attracted to.
And Win was no exception. Their situation made her want to cry. He affected her as no other man ever had, including Grant, but she wasn’t willing to risk her reputation and her goals for something as transitory as an affair, especially an affair with a man who made it clear that long-term commitment would never be an option.
She moved to the door.
She couldn’t stay here. She wanted Win too much. The risk was too great. Grabbing her purse from the broom cupboard, she said, “You can send my check in the mail.”
She had to get out of there before her resolve to keep a lid on her emotions faltered.
Her hand was on the knob to open the door when his fingers clamped around her wrist in a vicelike grip.
Win knew he couldn’t let Carlene walk out that door. He didn’t get what she was so upset about, but he was going to find out. They were attracted to each other. That was not a bad thing. At least, not to his way of thinking.
He kept his fingers locked firmly around her wrist as he pulled her around to face him. “What the hell do you think you are doing?”
She looked at him as if he’d lost a few marbles. “I’m leaving. Now, let go of my arm.”
“No. I’m not letting go of you and you aren’t leaving.” He leaned forward until his face was close enough to hers that their breath mingled. “Do I make myself clear?”
She glared at him and said, “Yes,” between clenched teeth.
He leaned back a little, but didn’t let go of her wrist. “We’re going to talk this out.”
The stubborn woman shook her head at him. Didn’t she know that women were supposed to want to talk things out?
“We have nothing to discuss. You want a convenient sex object for your housekeeper. Only you neglected to mention that as part of my job description. I’m wondering why though…you were quick enough to tell me your no marriage policy. I am not interested in being anyone’s temporary squeeze, so I’m leaving.”
Sex object? Temporary squeeze? Putting a tight lid on his temper, he hooked one hand under her knees and the other behind her back. She screeched something about overbearing, insufferable cowboys, when he picked her up. He ignored her. The po
wder keg that was his temper was liable to go off if he paid attention.
She kept up a litany of complaints all the way out of the kitchen, through the courtyard, and into his living room. She was shoving at his chest with her fists by the time he dropped her gently onto the couch.
She shot right back up again and stood toe to toe with him, her eyes shooting sparks. “You cannot treat your employees this way and expect them to stay. What did you do, manhandle Rosa until she left?”
The thought of anyone manhandling the two-hundred-and-fifty-pound Mexican grandmother of twelve surprised a smile out of him. “No. Rosa left because her daughter went into early labor with baby number four.”
When Carlene just scowled at him, he sighed and shoveled his fingers through his hair. “Damn it. I didn’t mean to manhandle you either, honey.”
“Don’t call me honey. Employees take just as dim a view of being referred to in a too familiar fashion as they do to being manhandled.”
“Will you be reasonable? I didn’t manhandle you.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “What would you call carrying me through the house against my will?”
“Trying to get you someplace where we weren’t going to be interrupted by Shorty or one of the other hands,” he was goaded into shouting.
She settled her hands on her shapely hips. “What’s wrong with Shorty overhearing me quit? It’s not like a state secret or something.”
He’d about had all the sass he was going to take off of her, but he tried once more to discuss the situation rationally. “You aren’t going to quit. I didn’t want Shorty, or anyone else, listening to us discuss our relationship.”
Her toe started tapping and he actually moved his booted foot back a couple of inches, to get it out of range, before he realized what he was doing.
“We don’t have a relationship except that of an employer and employee. As far as I’m concerned, that one is over.”
“Fine. Quit your job as my housekeeper, but don’t expect that to end it.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Are you threatening me? What do you plan to do? Stalk me?”
That did it. He’d reached his limit. She seemed to realize it as soon as he had because she tensed, ready to run. He didn’t give her the chance. Grabbing her arms, he yanked her up against him and slammed his mouth down on hers.
The only problem was that the moment his lips touched hers, all his anger evaporated and was replaced by raging desire.
Carlene could have remained an unwilling participant in Win’s passionate assault if he’d stayed angry. He didn’t. The grip he had on her arms, which hadn’t been that fierce to begin with, loosened. He reached up and unclipped the barrette she’d been using to hold her hair back and tunneled his fingers into the unruly curls.
Suddenly their argument…her fury…everything but the feel of Win’s lips on hers ceased to exist. She allowed her hands, which had been fisted against his shirtfront, to relax against him. His muscles felt solid under the soft fabric of his shirt.
His lips moved over hers, softly, coaxingly. He licked her bottom lip and she shivered.
“Open for me, honey. I’m desperate to taste you.”
She couldn’t deny the agonized need she heard in his voice. Allowing her lips to part, she silently invited Win in. He didn’t need any urging. His tongue swept inside and took complete dominion of her mouth.
Feelings that she’d never experienced roared to life inside Carlene and she clung to Win, afraid that if she didn’t she would fall down.
He groaned and pulled her close against his body, cupping her backside with one strong hand and locking his other hand behind her head, tangling it in her hair.
She allowed her hands to trail up his neck and twined her fingers together once her hands were firmly anchored behind his head. His tongue demanded a response in her mouth and she eagerly gave it. She met him thrust for thrust and reveled in the sound of hungry need he emitted.
Using the hand on her bottom, he rocked her pelvis against his and an electric current shot through her feminine core. Heat and dampness grew between her legs. She whimpered and he broke his mouth away from hers to trail kisses down her neck and up again toward her ear. Her breath came rushing out on a high-pitched wail. It just felt so good, better than anything she’d ever known.
“Oh, yes, baby, just like that.”
His husky voice grated against her ear and his hot breath made her shiver uncontrollably. Suddenly the world tilted and she found herself lying under Win on the leather sofa.
Her world had shrunk down to the soft cushions at her back and the hard man lying on top of her.
“We’re going to be so good together, honey. I promise.”
His words broke through the passionate daze she had slipped into and she started to struggle. “Let me up, Win.”
He didn’t seem to hear her as he unbuttoned the top three buttons on her blouse in quick succession. He slipped his hand inside and the feel of his fingers on her aching flesh almost sent her spinning back toward the passion filled no man’s land she’d been caught up in since Win’s lips had first touched hers.
His next words acted like a cold shower on her senses, however. “Don’t worry, honey, I’ve got a condom.”
She started to struggle in earnest. “Let me up. I mean it, Win. Let me go.”
He stopped kissing her and lifted his head to stare into her eyes. “What?”
“Please, let me go.” Foolish tears gathered in the corner of her eyes.
Win slowly moved off of her body, his expression wary, and then pulled her into a sitting position next to him. “I was going too fast, wasn’t I?”
She nodded, unable to speak past the frustrated tears clogging her throat. He no doubt now believed he had all the evidence he needed that she was exactly what he thought, a woman willing to share a no-strings affair. Her fingers trembled as she tried to rebutton her blouse. She muttered an expletive when they slipped for the third time off the button.
Win brushed her fingers out of the way. “Let me do that.”
He had her buttoned up in less than ten seconds. The man was fast, about a lot of things. He tipped her chin up so that she had to meet his gaze. His blue eyes had grown dark and in them she could see the remnants of the wanting he’d been forced to control.
“Okay now?” he asked.
She’d never be okay again. “Yes,” she nevertheless said.
He nodded. He turned and brushed around the floor with his fingers. “Got it.”
He held up her barrette as if it were first prize on the show circuit.
She took it from him and managed to clip her hair into some semblance of order. “Thank you.”
“Any time, honey.”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, praying for strength as she did so. “We need to talk, Win.”
He nodded, his expression serious. “I know.”
The problem was, she didn’t know what to say.
He saved her from having to come up with the right words by speaking first. “I owe you an apology.” He pushed his fingers through his hair. “Hell, honey, I’m not used to the feelings you bring out in me. My only excuse is that when you threatened to leave, I knew I had to do something to stop you. Picking you up and bringing you in here seemed like the most straightforward approach to keeping you around.”
She smiled at his explanation. “What were you planning to do tomorrow when I didn’t show up for work? Kidnap me?”
She meant it as a joke, but he took her seriously. His face took on a pained expression. “I didn’t get that far in my thinking. I guess this he-man stuff only takes a guy so far, huh?”
A guy who understood the word no. Earlier evidence to the contrary, she had a strong feeling that Win was one of those men. “Yes.”
He nodded. “What are you going to do?”
CHAPTER FOUR
THE question surprised Carlene. She would have assumed that after the way she responded to his kiss, Win would think
he had her full cooperation in his plans for an affair. Surprisingly, it was his doubt that precipitated her own. If he’d gone on demanding that she stay, she would have been able to walk out.
“I don’t know,” she answered.
“Would you stay if I promised to take things at your pace?”
The offer threw her. She didn’t want to set the pace to an affair and yet she couldn’t bring herself to throw the offer back in Win’s face. She didn’t doubt it had taken a toll on his pride to make it. He was not a man used to women saying no…or letting anyone else be in control. She decided honesty was the only alternative.
“I’m attracted to you.”
He smiled. “I could tell.”
She swallowed. “Yes. Well. Although I find you more attractive than any man I’ve ever met, I’m not interested in an affair. I’m too old to play those games.”
Instead of the angry frown she expected, he smiled. “What are you? Twenty-four, twenty-five? You’re not exactly at the age when most women’s biological clocks start ticking.”
“I’m twenty-six and it isn’t my biological clock I’m worried about. At the risk of sounding hopelessly old-fashioned, it’s my reputation.” And her heart, but she didn’t think she needed to admit that right now.
He stared at her for several taut moments, as if testing the strength of her will. Finally, he nodded. “I can’t say that the idea of sneaking around thrills me, but I can understand your desire to be discreet.”
In for a penny, in for a pound, her mother had always said. “Discreet isn’t what I was thinking about exactly. I meant it when I said I didn’t want to have an affair.”
His hands flexed, then fisted against his thighs. “Are you saying that the kiss we just shared didn’t change your mind?”
She nodded, feeling miserable. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t want you, Win.”
