by Monroe, Lucy
Helpless rage welled up in him. He wouldn’t let another woman manipulate him into promising marriage in exchange for sex. He was a lot smarter at thirty than he had been at nineteen.
He jumped off the lounger and stood up, glaring down at her. “You’re right. I don’t want a wife, but I told you once before that there’s a lot of ground between a one-night stand and marriage.”
She stood and adjusted her nightgown so that her beautiful breasts and legs were back under cover. “Maybe there is for you, but I’m having a hard time accepting that.”
Sexual frustration and anger made him lash out. “We both know that with a body like yours, you’ve had plenty of opportunity to figure it out. So, would you stop talking like a Victorian spinster, fearful of losing her virginity?”
She blanched as if he’d struck her. He felt about an inch tall and shrinking by the second as her eyes widened with pain and filled with tears.
Hell.
Before he had a chance to try to undo the damage he’d done with his mouth, she drew herself up and blinked away the moisture in her eyes.
“I’m getting awfully tired of explaining to the men around here that my bra size has no direct correlation to my desire to bed every male within a fifty-mile radius. I can understand Lonny’s ridiculously immature view, but I expected more from you, Win. I really did.”
She impatiently brushed an errant tear from her cheek. “Furthermore, I may not be Victorian, but I am a virgin and I can damn well talk like one if I want to.”
With that she whirled and ran back down the corridor.
Win stood in stunned silence for a full thirty seconds, long enough for her to disappear inside her room. Then he swore a blue streak. Who would have guessed that a woman as good-looking as Carlene would be a virgin at twenty-six?
It wasn’t natural.
He wanted to slam his fist into something.
The next morning, Win had already headed down to the stables by the time Carlene entered the kitchen.
She was a little late. She normally arrived for work at seven-thirty, but this morning she had dawdled getting dressed. She’d told herself that she had been busy listening for Shelly and Jared to wake, but the truth was that she was doing her level best to avoid Win.
She couldn’t believe she’d done what she had with Win the night before…and enjoyed it so much. But he made her feel such intense things. Not only sexually, but different about herself—like her body was something truly beautiful. Something to be admired, not just lusted over. Which was pretty funny when lust and sex came together, but no way could she describe what happened last night as pure lust.
Win wanted her in a way that touched her so much more deeply than any man’s interest had before because it felt deeper. He made her feel proud of her femininity…her figure.
But she still went hot with embarrassment every time she thought of the way she’d blurted out her virginity to him.
He must have had a good laugh at her expense after she fled like a frightened rabbit. Once he’d calmed his raging hormones, that was. The fear that he would accuse her of being a tease was another reason she was avoiding him. There was no denying that she’d encouraged him. And she’d been accused of being a tease by other men for a whole lot less.
Men like her ex-boss.
Shorty came into the kitchen. “Mornin’, Carlene. Win says you’ll need my help while the little ’uns are staying.”
Carlene digested that. Win had made no such offer the day before and she knew he needed Shorty down in the stables, but she wasn’t about to turn down the help, not when she had to cook for seven hungry men and keep two active toddlers occupied so they wouldn’t miss their mom too much. “I could use a hand later getting lunch ready and started on dinner. It shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours from your day.”
“Good enough. Kitchen duty is a piece of cake compared to working with the boss today. He’s ornery as a wounded mountain cat. I don’t suppose you know anything about it, do you?”
She affected a nonchalance she didn’t feel. “He’s probably just a little stressed from worrying about his sister.”
She opened the fridge and pulled out the meat she’d defrosted for tonight’s dinner.
Shorty peered at her, his eyes intense. “I don’t think so. He’s used to dealing with Leah’s troubles. Nope. It’s something else and it’s got him snapping at anyone fool enough to look cross-eyed. Thought for sure he was gonna take Lonny’s head right off over something Win would have normally let go.”
That got her attention. “He was mad at Lonny? Why?”
Shrugging, Shorty pulled out the big cast-iron stew pot and put it on the stove for her. “Can’t rightly say. No real reason as far as I could see.”
“Oh.”
He turned and gave her another probing glance.
She forced a smile to her lips. “Why don’t you go back to work? I won’t need any help for a couple of hours.”
Shorty shook his head. “Can’t. Win said for me to watch the kiddies while you go to your apartment.”
She stopped dicing the steak she planned to stew for shepherd’s pie. “I wasn’t planning to go to my apartment this morning.”
“Win says you’re going to need more things.”
Win said this, Win said that. And just who said that Win was king and she one of his subjects?
When she didn’t respond, Shorty added, “So you can stay the nights.”
Carlene frowned at that. Win couldn’t possibly know that she had changed her mind about staying. She hadn’t said a thing. If anything, after last night, he should expect her to be even more entrenched in her certainty it was the wrong thing to do. She was a little surprised at herself that she wasn’t. However, after holding Shelly while she cried the night before, Carlene knew she couldn’t turn her back on Leah’s children.
They did need her.
“I didn’t tell Win I planned to stay the nights. In fact, I told him to find someone else.”
“Kiddies need a woman’s touch when they miss their mama.”
Win and Shorty had hopelessly outdated views on the roles of gender in comfort. When she told Shorty she thought so, he shook his head, more serious than she’d ever seen him.
“Win spent a heap o’ years being both parents to his little sister, long before his mama died in that plane crash. He’s pretty determined to give Leah’s kids what he couldn’t give her, a woman to comfort them.”
Sounds from the hall indicated the children had woken up. She moved to the sink to wash her hands. “I’ve got to feed the children right now. You might as well go back to work, Shorty.”
She didn’t admit that she planned to go to her apartment later. Win had no right to assume she meant to stay. The very least he could do was confirm it with her rather than sending Shorty to her with the news like a royal edict. She had valid reasons for not wanting to stay on Win’s ranch and even if those reasons didn’t weigh heavily against the feel of Shelly’s little arms clinging around her neck, he didn’t know she’d changed her mind. He was too arrogant for belief.
Shorty frowned, but didn’t argue. It wouldn’t have mattered if he had, she was already on her way to get the children up and dressed.
She decided that they could both use a bath after breakfast since she and Win hadn’t bathed them the night before.
Two hours later, she was cutting fruit for a salad while Shelly and Jared played on the kitchen floor with the brightly colored plastic dishes Carlene used to store leftovers when Win entered the kitchen.
Both children shot up off the floor and wrapped themselves around Win’s legs.
“Unca Win, I’s a cook. See?” Jared stood proudly, covered from chest to toes in one of Carlene’s white aprons that had been folded in half.
Win smiled down at his nephew and ruffled Jared’s blond curls. “You making our dinner tonight, sport?”
Jared nodded. “In the big bowl. See?”
Win pretended to see an amazi
ng array of dishes in the big bowl and commented on all of them. He gave Shelly a smacking kiss and told her to take Jared to see Shorty who would take them to visit the horses.
Shelly and Jared headed for Shorty, who was waiting by the outside kitchen door, with squeals of delight.
Win turned to Carlene, who had finished her salad and was sliding it onto an empty shelf in the refrigerator.
“Shorty and I’ll keep an eye on the kids while you go to your apartment and pick up more spare clothes.”
Not a word about last night. For which she should be grateful, but perversely wasn’t.
She frowned at him. “I thought we agreed that you would find someone else to help you at night.”
“Are you saying you’re leaving?” Challenge radiated in his voice and stance, but she thought she saw fear in his eyes.
The fear decided her, but she wasn’t going to make it easy for him. He could darn well have asked.
“We’re not talking about me quitting my job. We’re talking about me moving in here.”
“Shelly and Jared need you. You saw that last night.”
Sudden understanding dawned. “You waited, didn’t you? You heard Shelly. Probably before I did, but you waited because you wanted me to go to her and to comfort her.”
He had the grace to look guilty. “It was the hardest five minutes of my life. I hated hearing her cry,” he admitted.
“And if I tell you it didn’t work. That I still refuse to move in here until Leah comes back for her children?”
“Is that what you are saying?” he asked harshly.
He had told her last night never to lie to him. She didn’t think she ever could.
She sighed. “No. That’s not what I’m saying.”
He nodded, the relief evident in his eyes, though she could see that he tried to hide it. He didn’t sound relieved when he spoke however. He sounded irritated. “So, why the big scene about it?”
“You could have asked. Don’t you realize how arrogant you are to just assume I’ll agree to stay, especially after last night?”
“So this is about last night? You want me to apologize? Fine. I’m sorry.”
Unaccountable moisture burned the backs of her eyes. “I didn’t ask for an apology.”
He grabbed her arms and pulled her until their faces were inches apart. “Then what do you want?”
She closed her eyes against the anger in his and told him the truth. “I don’t know anymore.”
He let her go and she opened her eyes. He looked wary. “Are you ready to go to your apartment?”
She took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes. I’ll be back after lunch. Everything is ready and in the refrigerator. Shorty will have to serve it, though.”
“Fine.” He turned to go back outside.
“Win.”
He stopped at the door. “Yeah?”
“Do you have any idea how long Leah will be gone?”
He looked back over his shoulder, his expression closed. “No. Why?”
“It would be nice to know how much to pack and how long I’ll be staying, but I guess that’s out, huh?”
“I don’t know. I wish I did.”
The words were stark and suddenly it hit her that it bothered Win a whole lot more than it bothered her that he didn’t know when his sister was coming back.
She tried to smile reassuringly at him. “It’s going to be okay.”
He nodded, but she could tell that he wasn’t convinced.
“By the way, do you think she’d mind if I potty-trained Jared?”
His eyes widened. “I doubt it.”
“Good.”
“You sure you want to do it? I’ve heard potty-training can be pretty tough, especially for boys. I think that’s why Leah’s been putting it off.”
She shrugged. “Trust me, a day and a half of changing a two-year-old’s diapers is enough incentive for me.”
She just wished she could find similar incentive to keep her hands and her thoughts off of her boss.
CHAPTER SIX
“YOU told me that Lonny asked you out and you turned him down.”
Carlene looked up from the book she’d been trying to read.
His face set in an expression of disapproval, Win stood just inside her open bedroom door. She’d left it that way when she had put Shelly and Jared to bed. She wanted to be able to hear them if they needed her. Unfortunately, she had not heard Win’s approach.
He had been busy down at the stables with a pregnant mare since after dinner and she hadn’t expected to see him again until the following morning. She’d come to the conclusion late that afternoon that he was doing just as good a job of avoiding her as she had been doing to avoid him.
The knowledge had irritated her.
Especially after her trip to her apartment. She’d found herself packing lacy underwear and a couple of items of clothing that showed off her figure. She’d stopped in mid-packing, staring at a very pretty bra she hadn’t worn since leaving Texas. It had been a symbol of her acceptance of herself then…something she’d lost when she left.
But she’d brought it with her to Win’s house.
She shifted to sit up more squarely against the headboard and laid her book aside. “That’s essentially what happened.”
He ran his fingers through wet hair. He must have showered before hunting her down in her room. “I don’t think so.”
The dangerous emotion she sensed in him made her want to tread very carefully. “What do you mean?”
“Last night you said that he thought you wanted to go to bed with him.”
She’d said several things she shouldn’t have last night. “He offered. I turned him down. That’s all there is to it.”
“Lady, there’s a hell of a difference between a man asking you to go out and offering to take you to bed.” He pushed away from the doorway and stepped further into the room.
She felt as if the mountain cat Shorty had mentioned that morning had come in. She was tired of the feelings that overwhelmed her when Win was around. His interrogation over Lonny set off a recklessness she didn’t understand, but she wasn’t going to squelch either.
“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I’ve had enough experience with the latter my whole life to know that?”
He stopped prowling the room and fixed his blue-eyed gaze on her. “What do you mean?”
She slid her legs off the opposite side of the bed from where Win was standing and went to stand at the window. It looked out over the desert surrounding the ranch house. Moonlight reflected off the sagebrush and sparse Douglas Fir trees.
She started talking with her gaze still fixed on the night outside her window. “I started wearing a bra in the sixth grade and not some little-girl training bra either. Ever since then boys and then men assumed I was interested in sex.”
“You telling me that some little ten-year-old tried to get you to drop your drawers behind the school building?”
She whipped around and glared at him. She was opening her heart to him; he could darn well take her seriously. “No. But, more than one not so little ten year old tried to get a feel of what was under my shirt.”
She turned back to face the window, her face growing red with remembered shame. “It was humiliating. I was still playing with Barbies and boys thought I wanted to be their plaything. It just got worse as I got older. It wasn’t just my breasts that developed. My whole body changed.”
He spoke from right behind her, laying his hand on her shoulder. “Honey, you have a very nice body.”
She almost laughed. “That was the whole problem. People assumed that I was a brainless twit because of the way I looked. By the time I hit high school, I lived in oversized clothes, kept my hair in an unstylish pony-tail and my nose buried in my books.”
He turned her around to face him. “You’re smart and you set out to prove that to everyone.”
She nodded, surprised at his understanding. “Yes. I did it too. I graduated valedict
orian with a full scholarship to a private university.”
He tipped her chin up until their eyes met. “That’s not the end of the story.”
“How do you know?” she whispered the question.
“Because if it was you wouldn’t still be so sensitive about a man’s appreciation for your body.”
That made her angry. “You think I should just laugh it off when men like Lonny try to cop a feel when no one else is around?”
Win’s fingers on her shoulders went rigid. “He tried to cop a feel? You said he propositioned you.”
“He did. He’s obviously a believer in using multiple media to make a point.”
“Hell.”
His angry concern warmed her. “Look, Win. I handled it. Lonny won’t be making any more passes.”
He didn’t look as if he believed her. “Like you handled it with me last night?”
“What do you mean? You think I let him kiss me and then called a halt to the whole thing? You think I’m a tease?” She didn’t care about Lonny any longer. She just wanted to know if Win’s avoiding her meant that he thought she had led him on the night before and was disgusted with her for it.
“No. That’s not what I meant and you can stop putting words into my mouth. I think you are a beautiful woman afraid of her own body, not a tease. You were just as desperate to touch me as I was to touch you, until you got scared. What I want to know is if you thought you handled Lonny by telling him you are a virgin. Because if you think that did it, I’ve got bad news for you.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, curious.
“He’s more likely to see you as a challenge than just let it go. He’ll think that taking your virginity will prove he’s more of a man.”
“Is that how you see me now, Win? A challenge? Someone you need to bed to prove that you can do what no other man has been able to accomplish?” She had to know.
“We aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about Lonny. Now tell me if you told him what you told me,” he demanded.
“No.” she smiled wryly. “If you must know I used multimedia as well.”
“Explain,” he demanded with typical Win-style arrogance.
