by Jacie Lennon
I shrug out of my shirt, and Trixie rises up, her hands grabbing for my waist, pulling me between her bare legs.
I let one hand sweep across her skin, the tips of my fingers dragging down her soft body, and her hands trace the dips and ridges of my abs. She looks deep in concentration, and I think she might be memorizing me to keep for later too.
I unbuckle my pants for the second time, and she pushes the top of them down. I give a little shake to make them fall to the floor, and she giggles, looking up at me, eyes shining.
“There’s my Trix,” I say, placing one finger underneath her chin. “I’ve missed your laugh.”
She dips her head, and I place my hands on her shoulders, slowly pushing her back while I step out of my pants and climb up her body. I leave a line of kisses up her stomach and across her breasts before capturing her lips in mine.
She kisses me back like she’s starving, with emotion and feeling and the pain of the last few years pouring out, and I greedily take it all. I want to suck her dry and give her all of me. I want her to take hold and never let me go.
She cradles my face in her hands, eyes closed as she returns my kiss. Her head slants slightly, her lips opening, and I move in, capturing her tongue with mine, touching every part of her, leaving nothing unclaimed.
“Take your briefs off,” she whispers against my mouth, and I grin.
“In a moment.” I follow the same trail back down her stomach until my hands catch in the waistband of her lacy thong. I pull it while she wiggles her hips, helping me so I can move it down her legs. Then, I place my hands underneath her spread legs, gripping her ass, and lower my head to her pussy, breathing her in.
“Less sniffing, more licking, Bo,” she says, moving again, and the use of my nickname shoots straight to my dick.
I can almost close my eyes and pretend it’s the old us. The less complicated us.
I comply, swiping my tongue through her. I wish she could understand that I can’t give her up. I can’t cut ties and walk away. My heart is on the line.
Her words and her actions are at war with each other. She says she’s in love with me but that she can’t be with me, can’t last forever with me. Then, she encourages me to touch her, caress her, and be with her now. It’s confusing.
Something else is going on, but she won’t tell me, and I can’t force her to.
Eventually, she will realize what a mistake it was to walk away from this, and when she comes running back, falling to her knees, I won’t be willing to pick her up.
I can’t.
I can’t.
Her moans catch my attention, and I focus my tongue on top of her clit. One good thing I can say about my off the rails, bed anyone who looks my way time in high school is, I know how to please women. I know what sets them off, what they prefer, what they don’t. I’m about to use it to the best of my ability to give Trixie all of me. Even if she won’t give me all of her.
I release one side of her ass, bringing my finger up and swiping it through her wetness, spreading it around as I circle her clit with my tongue.
Her hands fist my hair, pulling, tugging, and then pressing down as she raises her hips up more.
“Yes, that feels—” She flexes her fingers before winding them around my hair again.
“That feels what? Talk to me, babe,” I say against her skin.
“That feels incredible,” she finishes, and I push one finger inside her, palm up so I can brush it along that sensitive bundle of nerves. “What about that?”
“More,” she moans.
Her head is thrown back, and I can see the long column of her throat, aching for my hand to squeeze it.
I insert another finger and do the same thing before lowering my head again, flattening my tongue on her clit and giving a long, luxurious lick. I’m taking my time with her, relishing every moment we have together right now.
Another pulse of my fingers and lick. Her taste is fucking amazing, like she was made for me. I always knew it would be. But now that I’ve actually had her on my tongue, I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.
“I want you inside me,” she says, pushing up onto her elbows, but I use my free hand to press down on her toned stomach, keeping her in place.
“You are mine right now. I’m going to play with you for as long as I like,” I tell her, and she narrows her eyes.
“You don’t have all night,” she says, and I chuckle.
“I don’t need all night, but quit trying to rush this.”
“I’m not.”
“Beatrice Lucinda,” I say, raising my head and pinning her with a stern expression. “Do you want me to gag you, so you can’t talk?”
“You wouldn’t dare,” she says, challenging me.
I quirk one eyebrow as I stand, my cock pressing behind my briefs, wanting to be let out. “I wouldn’t?”
“Okay, I didn’t mean it,” she says, giggling as she pushes up again to watch me.
I lean down to pick up my pants from the floor, and I slowly unclip the suspenders from them. Trixie follows my movements, her chest rising and falling rapidly as I lean back over her, doubling the suspender straps.
“What are you going to do? Tie me up?” she asks, eyes wide.
“Open.”
“What?”
“Open your mouth,” I say, a grin taking over my face as I watch her fidget.
“Bodhi, I didn’t—”
“Do you promise to be a good girl then?” I pull the suspenders back, waiting for her answer.
She bites her bottom lip and nods once.
“Say it.” I reach out and drag my thumb down the middle of her mouth.
“I promise,” she says, looking up at me underneath her eyelashes.
My cock twitches, and I throw the suspenders on the floor.
“Good. Now, let me devour you in peace,” I say as I lower back to her pussy, taking another breath.
Her hips rise to meet me, and I swipe up her slit again and then suck her clit in. She bucks and then fists the bedcover as her body clenches. I continue sucking as she rides the orgasm out, my eyes on her thrown-back head as it happens.
“Did you like being told what to do?” I ask as soon as she relaxes.
One eye peeks open at me, her cheeks pink, and she scowls. “No.”
“That sudden orgasm begs to differ,” I taunt, and she turns her head away. “Hey.” I touch her cheek, bringing her gaze back to mine. “It was fucking hot.”
“It’s never been like that before,” she says, and I swear my head grows three sizes.
“You weren’t with the right person.” I stand, pushing my briefs to the floor, and watch her face as she takes me in.
She sits and leans forward to grab my hardness as it juts between us. She slowly moves her hand along the length of it—from the base to almost the tip—when her eyes widen, and she glances up at me.
I smirk down at her.
“Bodhi, what is this?” She holds my dick up, looking at the underside, where I have a frenum piercing. She lightly rubs her thumb over it, the friction causing me to jerk and let out a groan.
“It’s a piercing,” I say.
She rolls her eyes. “I can see that. Did it hurt?”
She touches it once more, and I jerk again.
“Not too bad.”
“It’s … it’s hot,” she says, biting her lip again and stealing a look at me.
“It’ll feel damn good too,” I say as another blush crosses her face.
I watch her lean down, pressing her lips to the underside, right over my piercing, and I groan again. Her touch is addictive and makes my skin tingle. She flattens her tongue right underneath the head and swipes up, almost taking me to the floor. When she wraps her lips around the head and sucks, I know it’s going to be the end of me. I look down as her head bobs, and I want to run my hand through her curls so badly, but I know it’s fixed for the party. Sort of. It’s gotten a little bit messed up.
I reach for her arms, grabbin
g and pulling her to stand in front of me. My cock presses into her stomach as I hold the back of her neck and bring her lips to mine. It’s a consuming kiss, a desperate kiss. One that speaks everything I can’t say, that I shouldn’t say.
She sinks to sit on the bed, pulling me with her, and I crawl up her body as she lies back slowly. Eyes locked on each other as we kiss again. She opens her mouth to let my tongue sweep in, tangling with hers as she lightly runs her fingertips along my back before digging her nails in, no doubt leaving trails of red. My legs are between hers, and she wraps them around me, pulling me down flush against her.
“Hey, Trix?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we try something?”
Her eyes pop open, and she gives me a look. “Not anal.”
I stare a moment before a laugh bursts out.
“No. But maybe at some point.” I reach and grab the condom from where it landed on the bed. I unwrap it quickly and sheath myself before placing my tip at her entrance.
She sucks in a breath and looks to where we are about to be connected, and then she finds my gaze again. With her hands on my biceps and mine planted beside her body, I slowly sink into her, memorizing the feel of her warmth surrounding me.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I chant on a whisper as she blows out a long breath.
I still, and we take in the moment.
“Move, Bo,” she says, and I do.
I languidly stroke in and out of her as I try to touch every inch of her smooth skin. Leaving nothing to my imagination. I want to be able to draw this from memory, even when I’m ninety-five.
I end my perusal at the base of her neck, feeling her pulse flutter underneath my thumb. The thump, thump, thump, of it is fast, elevated, and excited. She stares up at me, and I press in slightly, loving the feel of her life beneath me.
“How does that feel?” I ask, and she answers with a moan.
“I can feel everything. This is how it’s supposed to be,” she murmurs.
“What—”
“Shh,” she says, throwing her head back and closing her eyes.
I lean down, placing my elbows beside her body, and relish the feel of her breasts rubbing along my chest. I continue to work myself in and out of her, peppering her skin with kisses. We are both sweaty and smiling and flushed, and I tuck the sensations away in my mind for safekeeping. I’ll remember this too.
My hand finds her neck again, and I wrap around it, slowly squeezing. She doesn’t open her eyes, only stretches her neck back, and I push further. Her mouth falls open, and a soft breath escapes. I watch as she fully gives herself to me. Her trust that I won’t take this too far. Her submission to my games.
I wait until I hear her not take a breath in before I let go, and she sucks in air. Her eyes popping open and a red flush fanning over her body.
Her eyes find mine, and she grins.
“I don’t know what the hell that was, but I swear it gave me a little high,” she says, and I chuckle. “But if you don’t start fucking me like you mean it, I’ll choke you out for real.”
“The mouth on you,” I whisper, inserting two fingers in her mouth and pushing back until she gags.
Fuck.
I rise up, pulling her legs over my arms, and fuck her until we are both panting. I pull out and flip her legs, watching her body roll, and then I grab her hips and bring her ass against me. She moans. I exhale harshly and flick my dick against one ass cheek, watching it jiggle. She arches her back and presses against me further, and I comply, thrusting into her as she turns her head, eyes widening.
“It’s the piercing, supposed to hit exactly where you need it.”
“My God,” she says, and I chuckle.
“No, just your Bodhi.”
“Shut up and do that again,” she says.
I pull out before slamming back into her. She cries out, and I do it again.
“Right there,” she whimpers, and I continue until she’s tensed up and gasping.
“Come for me, Trix,” I say.
She arches again before stilling, and I feel her walls squeeze me with each rapid moan she lets out.
“That’s a good girl.”
I reach down, pulling her up against me by her throat. Her back is pressed against my front as I hold her by the delicate column of her neck. Her head lies against my shoulder, her mouth open and eyes closed as I pound into her.
I pulse my hand in time with each thrust, and she responds with sexy little noises until I’m pouring myself into the condom, spent and exhausted and completely sated.
There’s no coming back from this. At least, not for me.
“That was—”
“I know,” I say, releasing her, and she sags forward. I pull out and climb off the bed to dispose of the condom. I throw it in the wastebasket in the bathroom and turn, leaning against the vanity. My head is dipped, and I stare at myself in the mirror as I raise it. I can see a few red lines across the tops of my shoulders from Trixie’s nails, and I grin. This night has turned into so much more than I thought it would be.
I give myself a wink in the mirror before returning to the bedroom. Dipping under the covers with the girl I love, I pull her flush against me and let my fingertips trail over her beautiful skin.
18
Trixie
I watch Bodhi as he adjusts his bow tie, getting it just right in my full-length mirror. I’m still on the bed, the comforter pulled over my body after we finished the second round. I’m memorizing everything I can about him. The way his fingers look as he manipulates the material at his throat. How he pushes a hand through his hair to set it right. The way his tux fits his body snugly, making me want to take it off of him all over again.
He turns, catching my stare, and he grins, striding back over to the bed. “You’d better hurry. It’s almost party time.”
I roll and land on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Once upon a time, I was excited about my birthday—until I remembered that I was turning eighteen. And I know what comes after that. The whole thing I’ve been wanting to avoid. I’ve never told my sister. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve seen her only twice since that day in my bedroom. Both times she snuck in when I was home, and we could only talk for a short amount of time so I didn’t want to bring the conversation down. Or maybe it’s because, deep down, I know that she would tell me to do what makes me happy, and it’s not that simple. People like me don’t have that luxury. She ran and made a life for herself, but my life is here, and some weird part of me doesn’t want to let my parents down.
I tell myself that being married to Seth won’t be that bad, but I also know it’s a fabricated sentiment, meant to hold me together. He’s already turned out to be bad. But from the snippets I’ve tried to put together, my dad is in money trouble, and I’m the key to solving it. The financial ruin would be worse for my family. And they have given me everything. I owe them this.
Right?
“Hey, what’s going on inside that gorgeous head of yours?” Bodhi is leaning over the bed, his head blocking the view of my ceiling as he stares down at me.
He pulls the cover down a little until one nipple pops free, and he circles it with one finger as he waits for my reply. I can feel it tighten and pucker from his touch, and it takes everything in me not to arch up and beg for more.
“Nothing,” I tell him, pasting a smile on my face. I’m sure it looks fake, and Bodhi can probably tell, but after a moment, he doesn’t press me, and I let out a small breath of relief.
“Okay. Save a dance for me at your party?” he asks, head cocked to the side with that stupidly adorable smirk on his face.
I let my eyes trace it because I don’t think it will be aimed my way for much longer. I want to reach up and touch it, but I know I don’t deserve to. I don’t deserve this admiration he’s throwing toward me. I don’t deserve Bodhi, and while he might not know it yet, I know we’re now closer than ever before to when he will realize it.
The secret
I’ve been keeping from him is enough to tip us over into mortal-enemy land forever, and I have always had that niggling in the back of my mind. It’s one reason why I never told him in the first place, my parents’ rules about secrecy be damned. I’ve selfishly wanted to hold on to what parts of him I could.
“Hey, I have something for you,” I say, sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed.
I see his face fall from my blatant avoidance of his question, but he pushes back to give me room. I pull the sheet as I stand, wrapping it around me.
“I’ll be right back,” I say as I walk to the door and quickly peek out to make sure no one is in the hallway. After confirming the coast is clear, I hike the sheet up and dash to my room.
Once inside, I open my bedside table drawer, digging around for a moment before finding and grabbing the box. Turning around, I jump when I see Bodhi standing in my doorway. With a nervous laugh, I hold it out while trying to keep the sheet around me.
He strides forward, laying my dress and shoes that he’s holding on my bed. He takes the box, his fingers brushing against mine, sending a chill up my arm, and I bite my lip, watching him open it. At first, his expression doesn’t change until he glances up at me, and I can see liquid pooling along his lower lids. I look away, not wanting to sob myself.
“You kept it?”
“Yes, with mine.”
He looks back down at the box that contains our matching best-friend anklets.
“I always knew that no matter what happened, you are—were mine.”
“Then, why?” Bodhi asks, sinking beside me on the mattress, still looking down at the jewelry and then back up at me. “Why can’t we still be this?” He points at the broken heart.
