by Jacie Lennon
He spit saliva at me. I don’t think I’m dealing with just anger here.
I vaguely register the sound of small bursts of laughter and see people with their phones out, capturing my embarrassment on camera.
I find Landry’s and Peyton’s shocked gazes, and I think they believe he’s taking this a little too far, but I don’t wait around to find out. I turn on my heel, Phillip following, and head back inside to find somewhere to eat—by myself. Back to being by my-fucking-self again.
Bodhi
My stomach clenches as I watch her walk away, arms crossed over my chest as if I were merely watching an unruly subject leave my sovereign company. I’m a king, and the whole school knows that, but right now, I feel like I should be put in the stocks, punished with spit and rotten vegetables for my hateful words.
This is the part I’ve had to work up to. These are the actions I’ve had to remind myself would work out in the end. She has to hate me. She has to not want anything to do with me. That’s the only version of this that works.
Her shoulders are slumped as she leaves to go God knows where and eat her food. That brute of a man following behind her. He’s the real confusing part of this whole thing. I know why I’m doing what I did, and I sort of know why Trixie kept this from me. After thinking it through, I realized that if Seth had threatened me with harm to Trixie, he’d probably done the same to her. It would explain so much.
Either way, she’s been threatened in some manner, and that alone makes me want to put my fist through a wall. Or the fucker’s face who’s holding this over her. My money is on Seth. And why does she need a bodyguard? Do her parents know that he is unhinged? Surely not, or they wouldn’t let her marry him. No, there has to be another reason.
I turn, letting my hands drop, and I meet the shocked gazes of my brother and friends. I paste a cocky smirk on my face as I sit back on the top of the table, where I was perched earlier. My feet rest on the chair in front of me, and I lean back on my hands, tilting my face up toward the sun.
“Go ahead,” I say, eyes closed. “I can hear your thoughts anyway.”
“What the fuck?”
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“She looked devastated.”
“You are a dickbag.”
All of their words go in one ear and out the other. I can’t let it get to me. I have to stay strong. I open my eyes and level them with a stare, one that I hope conveys that I don’t give a rat’s ass about what they think.
“Tell me how you really feel,” I say with a grin.
Landry stands and swats my bicep with a slap. “Bodhi Montgomery, that was by far the meanest thing I’ve seen you do, and you three aired a sex tape of me to the entire school.”
She’s not wrong.
“Babe, I had nothing to do with it,” Corbin pipes up, and I roll my eyes.
“Chill,” I say. “You couldn’t actually see anything, just heard a lot of moaning.” I smirk again and look at Corbin, who glowers at me.
“Could we stop talking about you having sex with someone who isn’t me?” he says, pulling Landry down to sit in his lap.
She wraps an arm around his shoulders and plants a kiss on his cheek.
My heart aches.
“Let’s not get away from the real issue,” Peyton says, and I raise one eyebrow at her. “You kicked my girl while she was down, and I’m not okay with that.” She has one hand resting on her large bump, as if protecting her unborn child from me and my monstrous ways.
“I’m the one who kicked her while she was down? Was I the one who got blindsided by a proposal? Nope, I think she knew about it the entire time, and you know what else I think? I think you and Landry knew about it too.”
“You are deflecting,” Landry says, and I whip my head toward her.
“Deflecting? How is that not completely on the same page as what you two are accusing me of?”
“This isn’t about us,” she says.
“It’s about how you could have let me know something, so I didn’t look like a complete idiot Saturday night.”
“You didn’t,” Peyton says, sitting forward a little, as much as her belly will let her.
She’s due next month, and it might be the only thing I’m looking forward to in life—becoming an uncle. I’m going to spoil the shit out of that little kid.
“Bull. Shit.” The words come out so quiet that I’m not sure I even spoke them.
A silence descends over the table as everyone either doesn’t know what to say or tries to come up with some placating declaration that won’t set me off again.
“Bodhi, we know you are hurting, but it’s no reason to completely embarrass and degrade Trixie in front of everyone,” Landry says.
“No. But I have my reasons.”
“What are they?” Brock speaks for the first time.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I retort, unable to keep my childish response to myself.
“Yes, that’s why I asked,” Brock says, and I snort.
“Always so black and white with you, brother. Sometimes, life is all gray. It’s like a fucking fog, surrounding you and choking the damn life out of you without warning.”
“Bodhi—” Peyton starts, but I shake my head, cutting her off.
“I’m fine, but I can’t be around her. It’s the easiest way to move on,” I say with a shrug, hoping they will buy that line.
“You don’t have to treat her like dirt to stay away from her,” Corbin says, still wrapped around Landry.
“None of you get to tell me what to do,” I say, shaking my head. “This is my decision.”
“She’s still our friend,” Peyton says, and I shut my eyes for a moment.
Friend. Not for me anymore.
“Whatever. She’s not my friend. A friend wouldn’t do what she did.”
“She didn’t have a choice—” Landry starts but cuts herself off, a look of regret passing over her face.
I narrow my eyes at her. “She didn’t have a choice?”
“I didn’t mean that …” She looks at Peyton, who gives a curt shake of her head, like she can’t help with this one.
“What did you mean? Do you know something else that you can’t tell me?”
“No.” Landry sinks further into Corbin, like she wishes she could melt into him and get out of my interrogation.
“Landry, I’ve always been on your side. You too, Peyton. I’ve stuck up for you, helped you out, been your friend. Now, it’s your turn to be my friend. What do you know that you aren’t telling me?”
Another look passes between the two girls, and I tap my fingers impatiently. I want to wring their necks and get the answers out of them. But by some measure of the last bit of patience inside me, I resist.
“She was forced into the relationship and proposal … by her parents. But I swear that’s all we know.” Landry throws up her hands.
“Forced how?”
“I don’t know that. I guess there’s something big in their family, a secret that’s causing them to act the way they are. But she wouldn’t tell us anything more. I’m not even sure she knows the full reason.”
My hands clench into fists. So, her parents are the douche bags. It helps to have more pieces of the puzzle but still frustrating that I can’t see the entire picture.
“You can’t tell her we told you anything. She didn’t want to bring you into it.”
“I won’t.” I work my jaw back and forth as I think. “What about Connor? He’s friends with Seth. He might know something.”
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go prying into things we know nothing about. Bodhi, she has a freaking bodyguard now. That can’t be good,” Brock says, making a valid point, but when have I ever been levelheaded about anything?
I’m going to continue my push Trixie away plan, but in the background, I’m going to be working on uncovering what I can.
“Can you shoot me Derek’s number?” I ask Brock, and he blows out a long breath.
“Send it over.” I’m about to put our private investigator to work.
“Fine. But don’t shut us out anymore. Let us help you,” Brock says, pulling out his phone.
My phone chimes a moment later, and I grin. Finally, it feels like I’m getting somewhere. One step closer to figuring out what went wrong the summer before sophomore year.
“Sure,” I say noncommittally.
With that, I jump off the table and shove my hands in my pockets, striding away and back to my room, blowing off afternoon classes completely.
23
Trixie
“Come on. It will be fun. You need to get out of our room,” Landry says, pulling my arms and trying to get me off my bed.
“I don’t want to,” I say, shaking my head and lying like dead weight so it’s harder for her to get me up.
“Trixie, you can’t mope around in our room forever. For one night, come out with me and Peyton. We will stay away from the boys, and it will be a girls’ night.” Landry turns to Peyton, who nods in agreement.
“Plus, I can’t drink, so I’ll be by your side all night, supplying you with the liquor I wish I could partake in,” Peyton says with a smile.
Getting drunk and forgetting about my life for one night does sound fun. But I have a serious fear of them making me a fifth wheel with their couple-ness, and then being in the same area as Bodhi without absolutely needing to causes that fear to ratchet up a few levels.
After that scene in the courtyard three days ago, I haven’t even attempted to eat with other classmates or go around my friends during school when the guys are present. I’m living on a lonely island by myself.
Just me and Phillip, who is not the chattiest guy I’ve ever met. I once asked him when he sleeps, but I couldn’t get an answer out of him. The only answer I can come up with is, there is a second bodyguard around that I never see, which sounds ludicrous, but you can’t tell me the man never sleeps.
“Okay, fine, but you can’t leave me,” I say, pointing at both of them after sitting up on my bed.
“We solemnly swear,” Landry says. “Oh my God, I’m so excited.” This time, I let her pull me off the bed. “Now, get something done with that mop on your head, and I’ll pick out an outfit.”
“Where is this party?” I yell from the bathroom as I run a brush through my hair. It’s a rat’s nest in the back, where I’ve been lying on it. I’m thankful that it’s short.
“In the clearing by the cliff, a sort of salute to the end of senior year. There’s going to be a bonfire.”
It takes me back to the bonfire the night Bodhi asked me to be his girlfriend, and I can feel the tears start to well. So much has happened since that night. I blink rapidly and focus back on getting ready.
I pull one side of my hair up with a pretty barrette and then swipe some eyeliner and mascara on. I finish my natural look with a light-pink lipstick and gloss, and then I make my way back to the room.
“No, absolutely not,” I say as soon as I see the outfit lying on my bed.
Landry is standing beside it with her hands framing it, a large smile on her face.
“Come on. Why not?” Peyton asks. “If I were tiny like you, I would totally wear it.”
“It’s a crop top and a leather skirt. What am I, a dominatrix?”
“You’d be a fucking hot dominatrix,” Landry says, eyes sparkling. “A good outfit will make you feel better. You are young and sexy. Wear the damn outfit and own it.”
“What are you wearing?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at her skinny jeans and V-neck tee.
She crosses to the closet and pulls out a green minidress, holding it up.
“Very bonfire appropriate,” I say with a grin and an eye roll.
“Shut up. You know I like to torture Corb.” Landry gives a shimmy. It gets a giggle from me, and her entire face lights up. “Ladies and gentlemen, she still knows how to laugh.” She lays the dress on her bed and gives me a round of applause, clapping her hands in a circle.
“Shut up. Fine, I’ll wear this leather outfit. And you can torture Corbin, but you can’t leave me for him,” I say, narrowing my eyes at Landry.
“I’ll be stuck to you like Velcro.”
I turn and look at Peyton.
“What? Does it look like I could run away from you if I tried?” She glances down at her stomach, and I snort as I envision her running. “Plus, Brock and I spend way too much time together. I need a break from him.”
I stare at her a little longer.
“Okay, that’s a lie. We are obsessed with each other, but it’s girls’ night, and I won’t break the sacred traditions of said night.”
“Okay, I’m satisfied.” I strip out of my tank top and sleep shorts, which I threw on earlier in the hopes of a solo movie night that included lots of microwave popcorn and candy bars. I don the crop top and move the leather skirt up my thighs, belting it around my waist.
“Damn, girl,” Peyton says. She’s got half a granola bar stuffed in her mouth, and it sounded more like she said, Dab girb, but I got the gist of it. “I need your workout routine.”
“Lots of ballet,” I say with a smile before eyeing her stomach again.
“Yeah, don’t think ballet will be happening while I’m off-center,” she says with a laugh, running her hand along her bump.
I can see the way her eyes shine with love for her baby already.
“Are you really not finding out if the baby is a boy or a girl?” Landry asks for probably the one thousandth time since they told us they were waiting.
“Nope. We’d like to be surprised,” Peyton says, smiling like she hasn’t answered the question the exact same way each time.
“There are too many surprises around here. Sometimes, it needs to be boring, you know?” Landry grumbles as she pulls on her green dress. She shifts it down her hips, and it stops at a completely indecent level.
I smile when I think about Corbin seeing it. He’s going to shit bricks.
“Why don’t we have a boring night in? I’ll make snacks, and we can watch a movie.” I try one last time to get out of going to the bonfire.
“Nope. Nuh-uh. We are dressed and ready to go.” Landry links her arm through mine.
“Peyton didn’t change.”
“Peyton is eight months pregnant and can show up in a plastic sack for all I care,” Landry says, linking her other arm through Peyton’s. She glances at both of us with a big smile. “Let’s go have some fun.”
And she steps forward with a slight skip, like we are the characters from The Wizard of Oz, skipping down the yellow brick road. I have to admire her enthusiasm.
We are laughing as I try to skip, too, and Peyton waddles along, holding her side of our chain back. We finally decide to break our arm links and walk like normal people. Phillip falls in line behind us as soon as we leave our dorm room.
I can already see flashes of the bonfire and hear music and people talking while we are still walking through the woods. The sounds send a flash of nerves through me, but I try to relax, knowing Peyton and Landry are with me.
No one would dare laugh in my face with them by my side. At least they would only do it behind my back. There’s been a picture going around at school of Bodhi dissing me in the courtyard and me running like a whipped puppy. It’s not flattering, but when are gossipy pictures ever good?
I throw my shoulders back and raise my head, feigning confidence I don’t feel at all.
We step through the tree line, fully in view of the party now—and it is a party. A few of my classmates look trashed, yelling and stumbling around, while others laugh at their inebriated state, phones out, capturing the vulnerable state of some people in little pixels for others to watch.
That’s kind of how life is these days—always on guard in front of others. Always watching my back. But now, Phillip is watching my back, too, and it should make me feel better, but in some ways, I feel worse. I’m not a normal teenager anymore. I’m that
girl who got engaged before she even graduated. I’m that girl who has a bodyguard now because she must be involved in some sketchy shit. I’m that girl who Bodhi Montgomery called a traitor in front of the entire school. I’m that girl. The one no one wants to be. The one no one wants to be friends with.
I see a few side-glances our way, but I raise my chin again. Armor in place, I walk beside Landry and Peyton, my ghost of a guard at my back, and we march to the beverage table, placed a few yards to the side of the bonfire. Landry grabs two of the punches and a water, immediately handing the latter off to Peyton and then holding mine out. There’s no telling what’s in the punch, and I sniff it after I take it. Fruity. I immediately sip it, and my eyes widen when I don’t taste alcohol.
“This could be very dangerous,” Landry says when she meets my eyes over the rim of her cup.
“It reminds me of what we drank on the yacht that day in the fall,” I murmur, and she nods.
“Oh my God, you are right. It’s the exact same thing. What a wild day. Hopefully, this experience will go much better.”
“Wait, so what happened?” Peyton pipes up, and we turn to her.
“So, we had Senior Skip Day last fall, and it’s the same in the spring. Everyone goes out on the Montgomery yacht. That’s when I met Connor, and the same night, Corbin stole my phone,” Landry says, grinning. I’m glad she and Corbin have worked through those feelings together. “Wasn’t Seth there too?” Landry turns to me.
“Yeah, but I never saw him.”
“What was it that Connor said?” Landry asks, narrowing her eyes at me. “Oh my God, I’ve not thought about it since, but he said he was busy, down below. Oh my God, Trixie, was he cheating on you?”
“Can you stop saying oh my God?” I hiss at her, but she stares at me.
“Oh my God.” She shakes her head.
“What?” Peyton asks, her gaze ping-ponging between us.
“He was totally getting it on with someone in a guest room, wasn’t he?” Landry asks.
“Shut up,” I say, grabbing her arm and pulling her away. I can see people staring at us.
