by Amy Clipston
She longed to spend more time with Kevin. But if he felt the same way about her, by now he would have made an effort to see her again. It was obvious that she’d misjudged his feelings for her—again. Dat was right. Kevin wasn’t serious about dating, at least not about dating her. If only he had been clear about that. Now she had to ask God to help her move on. But as determined as she was to wait for someone who was forthright with his intentions, she couldn’t stop thinking about Kevin Weaver.
Phoebe turned her attention to her lap and fingered her white apron as she waited for the service to begin.
“Phoebe. Phoebe.” Christiana elbowed her in the ribs twice as she whispered in her ear.
“Stop that.”
“Look over there.” Christiana nodded across the barn.
Phoebe turned as instructed, and when she spotted Kevin sitting at the end of a row and staring at the floor, her breath hitched. Had he just arrived, or had she just missed seeing him? Her suddenly sweaty hands began to shake as she smoothed her apron.
“Did you know this was Kevin’s church district?” Christiana’s voice was close to Phoebe’s ear.
“No,” Phoebe whispered. It had never occurred to her to ask him what church district was his. She looked across the barn once again and found him still staring at the floor. Her mind whirled with questions.
Suzanna leaned over this time. “You okay?”
“Ya.” Phoebe forced her gaze away from Kevin and turned toward her friend.
The corners of Suzanna’s lips turned up. “That means you can talk to him after the service, you know.”
“If he wants to talk to me, he can,” Phoebe murmured. “He hasn’t made any effort to see me in two weeks, let alone show that he likes me. I’m tired of hanging on, waiting. If he’s interested in me, he can tell me so.”
Suzanna pressed her lips together and tilted her head as if in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding. He was just about glued to you at the last youth gathering.” She lowered her voice even more. “Talk to him. Maybe he just needs to work up the courage to tell you how he feels.”
Her pulse thudded as she considered that possibility. But if she did talk to him, would he want to talk to her?
A young man sitting across the barn had been chosen to serve as the song leader. He began the first syllable of the opening hymn, and Phoebe grabbed her hymnal and joined the rest of the congregation as they finished the verse. Then she did her best to focus her attention on worshipping God instead of on Kevin.
Throughout the service, though, she snuck glances in Kevin’s direction, and he always seemed to be staring at his lap or the floor. Had he seen her and was trying to avoid her? Or was he deep in prayer about something troubling him? She ached to meet his gaze and see his eyes, but she also worried he would reject her with a cold stare.
Phoebe turned her focus back to the sermons, and relief flooded her when the fifteen-minute kneeling prayer ended. The congregation stood for the benediction and sang the closing hymn. While she sang, her eyes moved again to Kevin, and her breath caught in her throat when she found him watching her. His eyes were intense as their gazes locked, and a shiver danced up her spine. She tried to look away, but she was frozen in place.
His expression suddenly warmed, and then he smiled and nodded. She nodded in return, and when he looked down at his hymnal, she released the air trapped in her throat.
The service ended, and Christiana turned to Phoebe and Suzanna. “Let’s go help serve the meal.”
Phoebe followed the two women into the Eshes’ kitchen, where she lifted a platter of lunchmeat and then carried it toward the barn. She slowed when she saw Kevin talking to a young couple. They looked to be in their early thirties. Or maybe the woman was a bit younger.
Although the man had a beard, he resembled Kevin with his dark hair and eyes and tall, muscular build. The woman held a toddler boy who had her same shade of blond hair. A little girl who resembled the woman and looked to be about four held the man’s hand. This had to be Kevin’s family.
Mustering her courage and squaring her shoulders, Phoebe approached them. “Wie geht’s?”
“Phoebe.” Kevin turned toward her. “It’s gut to see you. This is my family.” He made a sweeping gesture toward them. “This is my sister-in-law, Rachelle.”
Balancing the tray in one hand, Phoebe shook Rachelle’s hand. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
“You too.” Rachelle’s smile was bright.
“This is mei bruder, Dathan,” Kevin said, and Phoebe shook his hand.
“Hello,” Dathan said as he seemed to share a look with Kevin.
“And this is Tommy and Hannalyn,” Kevin said.
“I’ve heard so much about you,” Phoebe told the children.
“Did Onkel Kevin tell you I draw the best pictures?” Hannalyn asked with a grin.
“No, I do!” Tommy said, protesting his sister’s assessment.
Phoebe held up her finger. “Actually, he said you both do.”
“Danki,” Kevin muttered under his breath, and Phoebe laughed.
Phoebe turned toward Kevin. “I need to help serve the meal, but it was nice seeing you again.”
“Ya.” His expression grew serious. “It’s been too long.”
“Maybe I’ll see you later.” Phoebe fought the urge to stay as she forced her legs to move toward the barn. But surely if God had led her to this service today, he’d allow them more time to talk. And Kevin seemed . . . interested.
Chapter 7
“Phoebe was the one in the pink dress sitting between the redhead and the brunette?” Ben asked as he sat across from Kevin. They were eating their lunch in the barn with the rest of the men in the congregation.
“Ya.” Kevin sipped from his coffee cup as his mind continued to spin with the fact that Phoebe had shown up at his church service today. How had that happened? Was Dathan right that God would find a way for them if it was part of his plan? But this soon?
“Who was the brunette?”
“What?” Kevin looked over at Ben.
“The brunette.” Ben gestured with his hands. “She was wearing the yellow dress.”
Kevin blinked. “You mean the maedel sitting beside Phoebe?”
Ben leaned forward and lowered his voice. “Are you all right?”
“Ya, I’m fine.” Kevin mentally shook himself from distraction. “The redhead is her schweschder, Christiana, and the other maedel is her best freind, Suzanna Byler.”
“Suzanna.” Ben drew out her name as if enjoying the sound of it. “Is she single?”
Kevin almost dropped his cup. “You’re interested in Suzanna?”
“Just answer my question. Is she single?”
“I think so.”
Ben held up a pretzel and shook it at Kevin. “We should invite Suzanna and Phoebe to go to youth group with us today.”
“Our youth group?”
“Ya, the one you haven’t been to in a year. Let’s invite them, and then we can spend the afternoon with both of them.”
“But I told you. Freeman said I shouldn’t get close to her unless I’m sure I’m ready for a commitment. He doesn’t want me to risk breaking her—”
“Relax.” Ben leaned forward and lowered his voice again. “I know what Freeman told you, but you’ve been moping for two weeks now. If we invite them to go as a group, you can spend some time with Phoebe without Freeman worrying about it, right? I know you want to.”
Hope lit in Kevin’s chest as he nodded. He couldn’t turn down a chance to be with Phoebe. “You’re brilliant.”
“It’s about time you acknowledged that.” Ben tossed a pretzel at Kevin as they both laughed.
After the women had eaten as well, Kevin and Ben found Phoebe and Suzanna standing together near the barn. As they approached them, Phoebe’s expression brightened, and she smiled.
“Hi, Kevin.”
“Phoebe, this is mei freind Ben Zook.” Kevin gestured between them. “Ben, meet Phoebe Kurtz and
Suzanna Byler.”
“Hi.” Ben shook Suzanna’s hand. “It’s really nice to meet you. I noticed you during the service.”
“You did?” Suzanna gave Phoebe a sideways look before meeting Ben’s gaze again.
“We were wondering if you’d both like to join us at our youth gathering this afternoon,” Ben said, his focus still on Suzanna.
Kevin squelched the urge to shake his head. Could Ben be a more blatant flirt?
“Your youth group?” Phoebe studied Kevin as if seeking a hidden meaning. “I thought you hadn’t gone to that in a long time.”
“He hasn’t, but I convinced him to go today,” Ben chimed in. “We’d both like you to come. We’re going to play games at a nearby farm.” He looked back at Suzanna. “You can ride with me, and then I’ll take you home.”
“That sounds like fun.” Suzanna grabbed Phoebe’s arm and gave it a tug. “Let’s go ask our parents if we can go.”
“Okay.” Phoebe’s gaze lingered on Kevin’s, and then she allowed Suzanna to steer her toward the barn.
Kevin’s heartrate launched into a gallop as excitement filled him. It was time to throw caution to the wind and get to know Phoebe. He was ready to open his heart to her. He rubbed his hands together as he imagined what it could be like to date her. Yes, he was ready, no matter the risk.
“This was a great idea,” he said to Ben.
“You said it earlier—I’m brilliant, mei freind.” Ben rested his arm on Kevin’s shoulder.
“Ya, you are.” Kevin took off his hat and spun it in his hands while he and Ben waited.
A few minutes later, Phoebe and Suzanna returned, both smiling.
Suzanna spoke first. “Phoebe’s mamm’s cousin Sally is a member of this district, and she vouched for both of you!”
“When are we leaving?” Phoebe asked.
“Right now.” Kevin’s heart seemed to turn over.
* * *
Phoebe sat next to Kevin in his buggy after she and Suzanna changed into the everyday clothes they’d brought in case they made afternoon plans. She heaved a sigh of relief as she settled back into the seat.
The sun’s rays streamed through the windshield, and she took in the lush, rolling patchwork of green pastures dotted with farmhouses, cows, and horses. It was the perfect day for an outdoor gathering, and it felt so good to be sitting next to Kevin again. But she had to caution herself not to get too attached. Not only had he not contacted her in more than two weeks, but her father’s caution that Kevin might not be looking for a serious relationship lingered at the back of her thoughts.
“I was so surprised to see you at the service.” Kevin’s words broke through her thoughts. “How did you happen to choose my church district today?”
“It’s our district’s off Sunday, and mei mamm wanted to visit the service in her cousin Sally’s district. Mamm is close with Suzanna’s mamm, and she invited that family to come along.”
She thought she heard Kevin mumble something about mysterious ways, but his words were soft, almost a whisper, and she wasn’t sure.
“What?” she asked, leaning closer to him.
“Nothing.” He gave her a sideways glance as he steered the horse down another road. “I think Ben likes Suzanna.”
“I noticed that. And I think Suzanna likes Ben.”
“Oh ya?” His dark eyebrows careened toward his hairline.
“Ya. When we went to ask our parents’ permission to come with you and Ben, she told me she was already impressed.”
“I was surprised when he asked me about her during lunch. He hasn’t dated anyone in a while, so it seemed to just come out of nowhere. I have a feeling he’ll ask her out.” Kevin shook his head as he turned down another road.
Will you ask me out, Kevin?
Phoebe suppressed the words that threatened to leap from her lips.
“This is the farm.” He pointed at a large, white farmhouse. Near it stood five red barns, and behind them she saw a white, split-rail fence surrounding a lush, green pasture. Dozens of buggies sat off to the right in an open, green field, reminding her of a herd of cows in her neighbor’s pasture. Nearby, young Amish folks played volleyball while another group stood clustered around three Ping-Pong tables where several couples played.
Phoebe’s stomach tumbled as she took in the unfamiliar faces. While she’d never had trouble making new friends, she always felt nervous visiting new youth groups.
Kevin halted the horse and then angled his body toward her. “Now, I have a serious question for you.”
“Okay.” Her body trembled as she looked into his eyes. This was it! He was going to ask her out!
“Do you want to play volleyball or Ping-Pong? Or do you want to just sit and talk?” He held up his hands. “Don’t say it’s up to me, because you’re my guest. It’s up to you.”
“Oh.” Phoebe scratched at her nose and tried to recover from the mental whiplash his questions had caused. “It really is up to—”
“Nope.” He held up a finger. “You can’t say it’s up to me.”
She glanced at the people playing volleyball and then the ones playing Ping-Pong. Playing games seemed to be the best choice since it would limit their alone time and stop her heart from craving more than friendship from him.
“Let’s play Ping-Pong,” she said.
“Great!”
Phoebe pushed open her door and climbed out of the buggy, and after Kevin settled his horse in the pasture, they walked toward the Ping-Pong tables. As they arrived, a pretty blonde squealed and rushed over to them.
“Kevin!” She waved her arms as she came to a stop in front of him, and then she wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him an awkward hug.
Kevin gave her back a half-hearted pat as his face clouded with a frown.
“Kevin Weaver! Oh my goodness! I haven’t seen you for so long. How are you?”
Kevin might not look as though he was enjoying this attention, but jealousy still pricked at Phoebe as she stared at the beautiful young woman. Not only was she at least two inches taller than Phoebe, but she had flawless, ivory skin and stunning, dark-blue eyes. Her hair reminded Phoebe of yellow tulips, and her waist was so small.
Phoebe just stood there, feeling off balance as Kevin stared at his greeter.
“Mary. Hi.” Kevin’s voice sounded flat as he fingered his suspenders. “It has been a while.”
“It sure has!” Mary smacked Kevin’s bicep. “I heard you weren’t working for Dathan anymore. Where have you been hiding, then?”
Kevin shifted his weight as his face remained stoic. “I’m working for a brick mason now.”
“No kidding! And then you’re going to finally build that haus you’ve always wanted, huh?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Gut for you.” Mary turned to Phoebe and stuck out her hand. “Hi, I’m Mary Yoder. What’s your name?”
Phoebe opened her mouth to respond, but Kevin cut her off. “This is mei freind Phoebe Kurtz. I invited her to come with me today.”
Phoebe looked up at him. Had he meant to emphasize the words mei freind? Why had she agreed to come? She should have gone home or met her friends in her own youth group. Now she knew Kevin would never be interested in her, not if Mary was an indication of what he liked in women. Obviously, they had a history together, and she was certain they’d been more than friends.
“Hi, Phoebe.” Mary’s eyes scanned her from head to toe, prompting Phoebe to cross her arms in front of her chest. Then Mary turned back to Kevin. “My family asks about you all the time. You shouldn’t be such a stranger.”
Kevin gave her a half nod.
Mary pointed to the Ping-Pong tables. “I was just about to play Ping-Pong. Remember how we used to play? We had so much fun! Would you like to be my opponent for old times’ sake?”
Kevin turned to Phoebe. “I’ll play only if Phoebe plays.”
Phoebe hesitated. Did she want to play a game with this woman?
Kevin loo
ked back at Mary. “Give us a minute?”
“Okay.” Mary turned and sauntered toward the tables.
Kevin faced Phoebe again, and his eyes seemed to plead with hers.
“We don’t have to play. We could go for a walk or just sit and talk for a while. How does that sound?”
Phoebe fingered the hem of her apron. If only she could just leave.
Kevin sighed. “I’m sorry. Mary’s my ex-girlfriend, and I didn’t know she would be here because her family is in a different district. We can leave, if you want. We can go spend time with your family. Or with mine.”
Phoebe hugged her arms and swallowed, trying to keep her threatening tears at bay. What was the point of spending time with Kevin? How could she compete with the Marys of the world? But she didn’t want Kevin’s ex-girlfriend to think she’d forced him to leave so soon.
“It’s fine. Go play and have fun.” Her voice was raspy, but she couldn’t help it. Deep down, she was hurt.
“But you said you wanted to play.” He nodded toward the far end of the pasture, where she’d spotted Ben and Suzanna just a few minutes ago. “Forget Ping-Pong. Let’s go for a walk.”
“No, it’s fine.” Phoebe fought against the thinness in her voice.
“Kevin!” Mary’s whine carried across the breeze.
“Hey, Kevin’s back!” someone yelled.
“Come play with us, Kevin,” someone else called.
“We’ve missed you, buddy,” a third chimed in.
Kevin kept his eyes focused on Phoebe despite his friends’ request. “I don’t have to play with them. Why don’t we go do something else?”
“Really, I don’t mind.” Phoebe forced a smile on her lips. “Now that we’re here, I’d rather watch everyone play than play myself.”
Kevin reached for her, but then he pulled back his hand, his lips forming a thin line. “All right.”
Phoebe sat on the grass near the Ping-Pong tables, wondering how much longer she’d have to endure this outing. She looked across the field toward the volleyball courts, where Suzanna and Ben now sat in the grass together. She thought about joining them, but she didn’t want to interrupt them if Suzanna was enjoying getting to know Ben.
