by Shey Stahl
He’d done it. He’d won.
I rushed over to the flag stand with the kids while Rager pulled off the track to the weigh in before victory lane. I couldn’t stop smiling that we’d flown all this way today and arrived just in time to see him win.
Pace, Knox, and Bristol could hardly stand still as they danced around, screaming for their dad when he returned to the track and in front of the billboards of victory lane. The crowd behind us cheered and chanted Rager’s name. That was when I noticed Caden had come over with Kinsley.
“Let’s get you down there.”
Caden frowned. “No, maybe it should be just your family.”
I touched my hand to his shoulder. “And you’re part of that.”
His smile was emotional and he nodded, tears in his eyes. I motioned to Jerry, who’d made his way down and we worked on getting Caden’s chair onto the track.
Standing at the back of the car, Rager, who hadn’t noticed us yet, beat his hands against the top of the wing, the sheet metal rattling. You could hear his screams under his helmet when he lifted his arms in the air and the confetti flew through. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. There are two traits all racers must have. Desire and persistence. Rager Sweet, he had it in abundance. His home was a dirt track where he bled methanol for the thrill of racing on dirt. And tonight it showed.
I stayed back with Bristol. She was scared of all the fireworks and noise around his car. And then, he turned his head, visor up, and even under the lights of the track I could see those impossible blue eyes land on mine.
That look right there was what I flew thousands of miles to see. My dirt-driven boy, soaked in flashing lights and celebrating not only a win, but overcoming what it meant to be a lap down.
Controller – Used to describe a collective group of electronics that control the motor (e.g. drive, indexer, etc.)
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming,” I breathed against her neck, trying to catch my breath. “You’re really here, right? Am I dreaming?”
I could have been. Because if you would have told me when we pulled into Calistoga this morning I would be winning the race, I would have laughed at you. And if you would have told me that I’d break the track record that was set eighteen years ago by Jameson Riley, I would have thought you were smoking crack.
“You’re not dreaming. The kids and I wanted to surprise you.” She giggled and pulled back to look at me. Her palms cupped my cheeks, the love in her eyes never more evident than right now. “You won!”
I still hadn’t let go of her. Instead, I pulled her against my chest tighter. “Must have been because of you.” I breathed in deep, the excitement of the win coursing through me. “Fuck, I missed you.” And then I kissed her in front of thousands of fans and probably a tad too inappropriately, but I didn’t give a fuck. It got cheers from the crowd and a groan from Jameson, who’d snagged second place from Axel on the last lap. “That’s enough,” he told us, smacking his hand to my back.
“Thank you,” I told her, refusing to let go. “Thank you so much for coming, honey.”
“I couldn’t stand to be away from you any longer.”
If there was ever a win that was more emotional for me, it was that one. Especially when the kids made their way over to me, and Caden. I hadn’t expected to see Arie tonight, let alone Caden with her.
As Jerry helped Caden through the ruts in the track, Kinsley smiled at me and touched her hand to the side of my helmet I hadn’t removed yet. I smiled at her. “You guys didn’t have to come all this way.”
Tears surfaced in her eyes when she glanced at the sprint car behind me, and then focused on me. “You are his hero, Rager.”
My chin shook and I was thankful for the helmet on and thought seriously about snapping the visor closed. I couldn’t hold back the tears. “No, he’s mine.”
Caden Carson. There wasn’t an ounce of hatred in that kid. He was just as aggressive on the track as the next guy, but when the helmet was off, there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for anyone.
Including this.
I motioned to my car. “Wanna go for a spin?”
He laughed. “Strap me to the wing man,” he teased.
Looking up at me, Caden locked his wheelchair into place and then stood, on his own, and hugged me. It was the first time in my life I’d ever felt complete and utter respect for someone, other than Jameson, as I did for Caden. Holding onto me, he said, “Racing brought you into my life, but your friendship meant the most.”
I cried. I’m not afraid to admit it. I did. Right there in front of everyone, my body shook with tears. I’d prayed, begged, did anything I could think to will this kid into being able to walk again. And though he wasn’t walking, and might not ever race again, this was something we never imagined when we heard the word paralyzed back in May. “I love you, man.”
He laughed, emotional himself nodded to the car. “You better because Kinsley’s gonna have your balls after this next part.”
“What part?”
He lifted his hand, holding onto me with the other on the unstable track surface. “Strap me to that wing. I’m serious.”
“Okay, that’s enough for one night. You’re scaring me.” Kinsley helped him back into his chair.
Caden frowned. “No way. Take me for a ride.”
I motioned to the pits. “The two-seaters here.” I regretted the words the minute they came out of my mouth because I knew he’d want to and I also knew the wives wanted to junk punch me for suggesting it.
“I have a race interview to do.” I stepped away from them and to Jerry who was waiting to interview me. He laughed, knowing I was avoiding the argument I knew was about to happen about me suggesting it.
While I did a couple interviews, Jameson and Axel joked around with Caden and the girls. I held Knox in one arm and Pace in the other. They clung to my shoulders and while it was hard to do interviews with them, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Back in the pits after victory lane, Caden hadn’t forgotten about the two-seater ride. “I’ll take you out,” I told him, winking at Kinsley, as if I was trying to get permission.
Arie, who was clinging to my side, buried her face in my shoulder, breathing in. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
I looked to Caden who was all for it. “Someone get me a helmet.”
I don’t know how it happened, or how we convinced Arie and Kinsley it was a good idea, but with the help of the crew guys and Jameson, we got Caden in the back of the two-seater sprint car.
“You ready bud?”
He laughed, fidgeting with the neck brace until it was comfortable for him. “I think so.”
His eyes were so bright with excitement I hadn’t seen since he won the Kings Royale last year. Calistoga was his home track and to be able to be out on it again would probably make his world.
So I took him for a ride. We cleared it with the track officials, people filmed it and I was sure it would be on the news. I wouldn’t read or watch any of it because nothing compared to the actual feeling of having him in that car with me. I took it easy and cruised around the first lap when he said, “Come on now,” in the radio we had between us. “I know you got more in you.”
As I came into turn three on our second lap, I threw it hard—sliding with ease through the ruts, feathering the throttle for control. Pushing the car to the cushion through the corners, I ran the high line where I knew he wanted to be.
I had no idea what was going inside his head as he was completely quiet on the radio. I ran five laps and decided it was enough. The entire time, Caden said nothing. It wasn’t until we were out of the car that he stood leaning against it and brought his hands to his face.
I stepped closer to him. “You okay?”
Tears were in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around me again. “You have no idea what that meant to me.”
And I cried for the second time tonight.
Arie made her way over to me as Jameson and K
insley helped Caden back into his chair. “You made that kids night.”
I turned to look at her and smiled. “You made my life.”
She drew her bottom lip into her mouth and bite down, her cheeks pink, eyes glowing under the pit lights. All my favorite memories I have of this girl is under the orange glow of a track and dirt clinging to her skin. For some reason, I thought about all the times we’d been here before, the two of us in the pits after a race, struggling to find meaning in our relationship that had very much formed on the cushion. Up high where we were out of control and holding out hope the top keeps its grip.
In the background amongst the fans and crew guys celebrating the win with us, I could hear the faint rumblings of “Bad Boys” playing in my hauler. Lane grinned and handed me a beer. “You earned this one.”
I took the beer from him, keeping one arm around Arie. “Don’t drink too much,” she told me when I refused to allow an inch of space between us.
“Why?” Keeping one eye on her, I cracked the beer open with one hand and then took a drink. “Got something in mind for later?”
“I got a hotel room for us. Mom is going to watch the kids.”
“Let’s go now.”
She held onto my forearms. “There’s time for that later.” Her eyes moved to the pits where the guys were celebrating around me. “Let’s enjoy this.”
I was all for celebrating the win, but I wanted to be alone with Arie more than I cared about winning that night. One thing was certain.
With Arie beside me, I became aware of the fact that we’d been apart for too long. Every look, every touch and every sigh told me so. I could practically smell her arousal and it did nothing for my attention to the ones around me. I wanted my wife. Alone. I didn’t think I could take much more when her eyes would meet mine, and slowly travel down my body, stopping at all the places I knew she wanted to worship.
Just when I was thinking I couldn’t take much more of it, she smiled into my shoulder and whispered, “You ready to celebrate the win?”
“You have no idea,” I groaned into her ear and yanked her against my chest.
Casten laughed beside us, shoving my shoulder when I kissed Arie in front of everyone. “Get a room. I don’t need to see you fucking my sister.”
Lifting my head, I glared at him. “I didn’t say anything to you when you and Hayden had sex in the backseat of Jameson’s truck the other night. So shut the fuck up.”
His eyes widened, anger surfacing. “You said you were asleep.”
“I wasn’t.” And to really piss him off, because I did not appreciate that they did that when my wife was away, I looked over at Jameson talking to Caden. “Hey, boss man.” Jameson looked up and Arie started laughing beside me. “Casten and Hayden fucked in your truck in the pits of Skagit.”
Across from us, Hayden threw her beer at me. “You fuck face. You said you wouldn’t say anything.”
I shrugged, refusing to let go of Arie, despite the beer soaking my foot now. “I lied.”
Jameson scowled at Casten, and then Hayden. “Are you fucking serious? I gave you one rule to follow with my truck.” He raised his index finger dramatically. “One rule.”
Pace, Knox, Gray and Ryder were climbing in and out of the sprint cars, watched the interaction between everyone but lost interest quickly. Thank God. Although Gray eyed her parents a little curiously, as if she knew what we were talking about, but didn’t have the guts to ask.
Sway stood between Jameson and Casten, her hands on Jameson’s chest. “Honey, remember your parent’s kitchen table?”
His eyes moved to hers. “That’s different. He’s fucking thirty years old. He shouldn’t be doing that shit.”
“No, not really. It’s worse,” she pointed out. “And Arie’s just turned thirty. Casten is twenty-seven.”
“Clearly I’m aging quickly,” Casten added. “And I’m just following the parental example set for me, dirty heathen.”
Jameson pushed against Sway, trying to grab Casten by his racing suit. “You little fucker.”
Axel burst out laughing, shaking his head. “Dude, you don’t want to go there. You haven’t followed a parental examples your entire life.”
Casten grinned. “You’re probably right.”
Laughter moved through the pits.
As I stood there in victory lane, surrounded by my family in friends, I thought about what Jameson had said to me in his truck that day. Track conditions had changed but I found a new set up. Dirt driven.
“HOW’S YOUR HAND?” Arie asked when we made it inside the hotel room.
I flopped myself onto the bed, groaning. “You have a lot of making up to do.”
Arie stepped forward, her knees against the edge of the bed between my legs. “I think that can be arranged.”
Sitting up, I wrapped my arms around her, my hands on her ass cheeks. “Now let’s get you out of these clothes. They look incredibly uncomfortable.”
We didn’t waste any time getting naked. I stared at her tits I hadn’t seen yet in person and not swollen. “Jesus,” I groaned, gently sucking on her nipples. “I regret ever telling you I didn’t want you to do it.”
Her hands threaded in my hair, pulling me closer. “I need you to fuck me, now.” She squirmed underneath me, the head of my cock sliding effortlessly against her slick folds.
I wanted to warn her this wasn’t going to last, but I didn’t. Two minutes later, sadly, it ended.
Arie laughed in my face. “What the fuck?”
I kissed her, smiling. “That was just the trophy dash. We still have the A main.”
“Who says you made the A main?”
Laughter rolled through me. “Because I set quick time.”
“Yeah, ya did.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You keep it up and I’m going to bring you to the white flag over and over again….” I ground my erection into her clit, raising up on my arms to hover over her, “But never grant the checkered.”
Her hands squeezed my ass cheeks. “Don’t you dare.”
“Then don’t tease me.”
“I’m sorry.” She licked her lips slowly. “Now make love to your wife.”
Our eyes met and I’d never been more in love with this girl than I was in bed with her tonight. “I love you.”
Her lips pressed to mine. “I love you.”
As I laid there with Arie, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the season, or what happened, but I knew something greater set the pace. I had the desire for more speed, but from the green to checkered, I don’t race for fame. A dirt track was where I raise my kids. It was where my wife made our home on the road, amongst late nights and Walmart camping. Between push starts and heat races, slide jobs and wing dances, our family pushed through from that dead last starting position and kept on the lead lap. We might not have won, and we went through a couple kit cars, but fuck, we pulled into the pits in one piece.
Dynamic – Refers to something that’s in motion.
DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS EVE
VAIL, COLORADO
There was one thing I loved about off-season now that we had kids. Christmas, and our yearly family vacation to Vail, Colorado. Last year my parents bought a house here finally after renting out a cabin was no longer an option thanks to Casten and his New Year’s Eve stunt where he drove a snow plow through the living room. Right through the fucking front door.
Let me start off by saying that vacations for the Riley family have a reoccurring theme to them. Everyone fights. Which was how the snow plow went through the front door of that rental last year. Over the stupidest shit. Again, snow plow incident. And who was sleeping in what room. Who got to ride the snowmobiles first and even, who could drink the most. Do I need to say it again?
Snow.
Plow.
Then there were the arguments between the little kids. The ones you would have thought to be arguing. Gray and Abigale were not going to be friends that weekend and Jonah punched his brother in the face over a sleddi
ng incident. The calmest of the kids, Bristol, Savannah, and Rowyn, those little angels were the sweetest and spent most of their time chasing Hudson and Ryder around and trying to make them girls. It was a cluster of tantrums, arguing, and me and Hayden agreeing we’d never ever have more children.
Rosa sat next to me on the couch and smiled. “Are you going to send me that video?”
“What video?” Hayden asked when my cheeks turned a bright shade of red, curious as to what she was talking about.
“Rosa, stop talking.” I made eye contact with Rager but he had no idea what we were talking about given his current state of cold as fuck.
“What is she talking about?” Hayden asked Rosa, smiling widely.
“Well.” I tried to shove my hand over Rosa’s mouth but she was too quick and pushed away from me. “Arie and Rager made a sex tape at the World Finals.” And then she took a shot of spiced rum. If you’ve never taken a shot of spiced rum, you’re not missing out. It’s a lot like snorting a clover laced in cinnamon. Fucking awful. Rosa’s a hard core drinker though and merely flinched at the burn. “I want to see the Sweet Spot and she won’t let me. It’s a selfish decision on her part.”
“You’ve seen him naked, Rosa,” I pointed out. “What’s the big deal about the tape?”
Her grin widened. “So, you admit there’s a tape floating around?”
“No. There’s not anymore. It was on Rager’s phone. And good luck finding it. He deleted it.”
He didn’t, but I wasn’t telling Rosa that.
She eyed Rager. “I’ll crack his password someday.”
Hayden shook her head and glanced over at Hudson who was currently losing his shit over his sock next to the front door. “Your son is kinda like the Hulk and Spiderman had a baby and that baby had low blood sugar.”
“You’re telling me.”
“I can’t take much more of this screaming. My head hurts,” Rager said, eyeing Hudson who was losing his shit over his sock being on backward. “Dude, stop screaming. Take the damn sock off and put it on the right way.” Rager downed another beer as he and Caden sat by the fireplace, trying to will heat back into their hands. They’d been out on the snowmobiles all afternoon with Casten and Axel and spent a good part of it stuck when their plan to tie Caden to one didn’t work out in their favor. They’d broke his arm in the process but Caden didn’t care.
