He stood there for a moment and watched as she grabbed the milkshake before strolling toward her office. Everything in him wanted to stop her, pull her into his arms, and kiss her, but he needed to face Kyle. He promised himself Maddie would be his reward. I’m coming for you, Maddie, and you’re going to be mine.
He pulled open the front door, and there before him was the Marine he’d once thought was gone for good. A smile stretched across his face, and he was standing. The changes a year made. He almost didn’t believe it was Kyle, but the sea green eyes were unmistakable.
“Shocked that I’m here?” When Lucky didn’t say anything, Kyle proceeded. “The last time I saw you, I was ready to give up. I didn’t see any reason for living. Not when I was down to one arm and one leg. I was half the man I was, but that all changed.”
“I can’t believe it.” Lucky stepped back. “Come in.”
“Well, believe it. I’m alive because of you. Your parting words had me so angry that they called in someone to speak with me.”
Lucky shut the door before turning back to him. “I’m not sure why I’m to credit for you being alive.”
“Because four months ago I married her. She came into my life to ease the anger, guilt, and regret. She showed me I was still a man, and she fell in love with me. If it wasn’t for you turning my self-pity into anger, I’d have never met her, and wouldn’t be here.”
“Here…as in Colorado, and doing this competition?” He let out a deep laugh and shook his head. “Damn, I should have kept my mouth shut and let you kill yourself.”
“Gunny, there are plenty of Marines who could use the ten thousand you could win for them, and there’s no one better to do this than you.” Kyle waited until they were in the living room, and had taken seats, before adding, “I nominated you for this not as some payback, but because we need someone like you fighting for us.”
“I cooked for you guys because I enjoyed it. I never wanted any recognition for it.”
He nodded, and leaned back on the sofa. “I’ve learned sometimes we don’t get what we want, but in the end it turns out better than you expected.”
I guess I can’t blame him too much. After all, it brought me Maddie.
They spent the next hour talking, all the while avoiding the subject of their last mission together. They talked about the competition, Kyle’s new wife, and even the Colorado Mountains. Finally, Kyle leaned forward and said, “You know I don’t blame you, right?”
Oh, hell! Lucky wanted to contradict the statement, but after the last hour, he couldn’t. It didn’t matter to him if Kyle blamed him, because Lucky blamed himself. His men were his responsibility, and that day had not only left Kyle with missing body parts and burns, but it had also killed one of his Marines. Another Private First Class, on his first deployment, was killed and had left behind a wife and son. That man’s blood was on his hands, and he’d have to live with the fact he hadn’t ordered Torres to turn the Humvee around and wait for reinforcements the minute his intuition had kicked in.
Madison sat in front of her laptop, not really working, just waiting. Nothing happened. She had expected Lucky to come find her after he had shown Kyle out, but that had been over twenty minutes ago. He still hadn’t come to the office. She was growing more impatient with each passing minute. The desire to find out what had happened between them, and to make sure he was okay, was nearly overwhelming.
Not willing to wait any longer, she rose from behind the desk and headed for the door. The house seemed eerily quiet. She looked around the first floor, but no one was there. His milkshake had been discarded on the counter, never touched. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, warning her that something was wrong. Where was he? It was so unlike him to say he was doing something, and then not actually do it. Had the visit with Kyle upset him?
She didn’t see him on the first floor, and doubted he’d be outside since his jacket was still flung over one of the bar stools in the kitchen. She headed upstairs in search of him. If he was upset about seeing Kyle, she needed to know, because tomorrow he’d have to face him again, but in an interview. One that was sure to awaken the memories even more than they had already been. She needed to find out if they would need to work something else out, or if he could keep it together long enough to get through it, and this competition.
“Lucky.” She called out to him as she reached the top of the stairs. Even after receiving no response, she continued toward the master bedroom at the end of the hall.
The door was open, so she peeked in and saw him in the middle of the bed fully dressed with his eyes shut. She crept closer, and as she neared the bed, she noticed how rigid his body was. He wasn’t just lying there to take a nap, he was thousands of miles away, back in Iraq fighting for this country.
She came to the side of the bed but didn’t reach out to him. She had learned her lesson last time, and even though she didn’t blame him for the mark on her wrist, she’d be more careful in the future. “Lucky?”
“Maddie, just go away.”
“No.” Now that he knew she was there, and who she was, she sat down on the edge of the bed, his hip only a few inches away. “I need to know if you’re okay. If you can do tomorrow, or if I should see about making other arrangements.”
“You said you were in charge of this. That your boss had given you the responsibility to make sure this went off without any problems. How could you not know she sent Kyle here?”
The pain in his voice made her feel worse than she already did. “After I left the office, she looked over the files of each contestant. That’s when she read who put your name into this. The brass got the final choice, but it was Kyle and Graves who threw your name to them. She wanted to know why they pressed so hard for you to be the one they chose.”
“I thought there was very little in the file about what happened.”
“That’s true, but she called Sergeant Major Graves, and that’s when she learned the story. She wanted to—”
“Exploit it?” he supplied when she stumbled over what word to use.
She nodded, even though he couldn’t see it because his eyes were still closed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know anything about it until he showed up at the door.”
“For the two minutes you were at the door, you sure learned a lot.” The sarcastic tone lashed out at her, and stung more than a physical blow ever could.
“While you were busy with Kyle, I called my boss. That lunch meeting was to inform me of his presence and the change of plans. However, since I brought you along instead of going out of the way to run you back to the house, she decided not to bring it up. She figured it was better to come from your handler than the person you just met, so she handed me the manila envelope. We were so busy with the other appointments that I never opened it. When I called her, her response was that I should open the envelope, and that it would explain everything.”
When he said nothing, she felt the need to fill the silence with the only thing she could think of. “What happened that day wasn’t your fault.”
“What do you know about it?”
“I read the official report.” She kept her voice low, almost wishing she hadn’t said anything. When his eyelids flew open and he looked at her, there was a mixture of horror and worry shining through the blue eyes she loved so much.
“You what? How did you get your hands on that?”
“Graves sent it, and it was in the envelope. You can’t blame yourself for what happened.”
“The hell I can’t. We received that tip anonymously, and instead of waiting for back-up we went in. It got one of my men killed and injured Phillips beyond repair. His life will never be the same, neither will the family of the other man who died because of my screw-up.” He closed his eyes again and shook his head. “That was the second mission after I had been promoted to Gunnery Sergeant.”
“I know the cost was high, but in the end you took down the target. You saved lives by taking him down. That’s not something that should
be forgotten.”
“What should never be forgotten are the ones killed in action, and the ones who’ve had their lives changed forever by the acts of war.” He kept his eyes closed, but his body tensed up again. Was he thinking about all the blood spilled?
“People will never forget. You will never forget. It’s never easy, but Lucky…” She reached out and took his hand. He remained stiff, but didn’t pull away. “You can’t blame yourself. Look at Kyle, he doesn’t blame you. According to the information I found, he’s married and happier than he’s ever been.”
He let out a huff of doubt but she pushed forward. “He met his wife when he returned stateside for his recovery. They married four months ago and are completely in love. You should be happy for him.”
“The man lost two of his limbs because of my decision, and you want me to be happy for him?” The guilt tainted his words.
“I want you to be happy that he’s alive, that he’s living his life, and has love in it. He’s not less of a man because he’s missing limbs or has burns on his face and body.” She took her hand away, and stood. “Look at how far he’s come. Last time you saw him, you weren’t sure he was going to live, and now he’s living a life like everyone else. With the aid of prosthetic limbs, he’s walking, driving, and doing everything else that people do. Why are you denying him that?”
“Denying him…” His eyes popped open, and the heat burned within his gaze. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I don’t? Very well then. I’ll let you sulk in private.” She turned on her heels and headed for the door. “But I take back what I said before about making other arrangements. Get yourself together, because tomorrow afternoon the two of you will be interviewed together.”
She continued down the hall to her bedroom. If he wanted to live in the nightmare of what had happened, then so be it. She couldn’t pull him from his thoughts. Those were demons he’d have to fight himself. But she’d be damned if she was going to change the interview because he was too stubborn to see that his friend had moved past just being a wounded veteran and had begun to live again.
She pushed her door until it was halfway closed, just in case he came to his senses, and headed to the bathroom. She’d have a long, hot bath and try not to worry if she was doing the right thing. So much for telling him I want to give us a second chance. If I don’t get fired, my job is going to drive us apart.
Lucky wasn’t sure how long he was stretched out on the bed feeling sorry for himself, but when he finally sat up there was no doubt it was the middle of the night. The moon was high in the sky, and every house he could see was dark. He wasn’t sure there would ever be a day that he didn’t regret not giving the order to retreat earlier. Or the decision to go off the road in order to turn around. He was too eager to prove himself as a leader and catch the man they hunted. His mistake could have got every one of them killed.
He went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. In the mirror, he caught a glimpse of himself, the pale skin with five o’clock stubble clearly showing. Around his eyes, he looked drawn and tired. The cool water helped to rejuvenate him, and he decided it was time to find Maddie. He owed her an apology. His behavior was unacceptable, and the only excuse he had was that he’d never dealt with what happened to Kyle before. He just stuffed it into a box deep within him and went on with his work.
After he dried his face, he had nothing else left to delay himself. “Here goes nothing,” he mumbled to his reflection before heading toward the door.
Down the hall, he peeked into her room. The comforter and sheets were pulled back, but she wasn’t there. The bathroom door that adjoined the room stood open, and the light was out, so he didn’t bother to check to see if she was there. The only other place she’d be was downstairs. What was she doing up at this time of night?
He didn’t bother to turn on the hall light as he descended the stairs. He saw a flicker of light. The warm orange glow told him it couldn’t have been the television. Wondering what it was, he sped his pace.
There in the living room, she was sprawled out on the sofa with the gas fireplace going. He knew she wasn’t asleep because she kept mumbling something he couldn’t make out. “Umm, Maddie.”
“Stop calling me that.” She didn’t even turn around to face him.
“I can’t. You’ll always be my Maddie.” He came around to the side of the sofa. “What are you doing up? Is it because of me?”
“Do you always think you’re to blame for everything?” She pulled her legs up, giving him room to sit, and curled on her side to face the fireplace. “You know, not everything is about you.”
“I understand you’re angry with me.”
“You always think you know everything,” she grumbled.
“Maybe just upset, then. But I came to apologize.” He sat down in the spot she’d cleared for him. “Kyle was a shock, one I wasn’t ready for. I don’t blame you for being angry with me because of my rude comments.”
“I’m not angry, I’m…” She paused and took a deep breath.
He leaned closer as the color drained from her face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She placed a hand on her stomach and closed her eyes.
“You don’t look fine.”
“Damn it, I said I was fine.” After a few moments of silence, she opened her eyes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you. As I was saying, I’m not angry. I just hate to see you beat yourself up over something you couldn’t control. What happened on that mission isn’t something you can just go back and fix. Some might call it our destiny.” She held up her hand when he started to interrupt her. “Don’t bitch at me. I’m just saying it led Kyle to his wife. Maybe that’s worth something. I know it killed another of your Marines, and I’m sorry, but each of us have a destiny we’re put here on this Earth for.”
“So, his was to be killed in action?”
“Do you know his wife started a business in his honor?”
“What?” He had no idea what she was talking about.
“It’s called Sewn with Love. Surely you’ve heard of them? They’ve been all over the news. She turns the uniforms and clothes into something special for military spouses. It started out as a way to remember those who were killed in action, but it’s gone far beyond that. Any spouse or family member can send in their clothes and she will turn it into whatever they want. Quilts are the biggest thing, but she also does pillows, purses, and more.”
“What does this have to do with what happened?”
“Cassy Weber has done something for his memory, and for the memories of others who have died during their service to our country. She’s turning tragedy into something that’s cherished. She gave her husband’s life and his death meaning, and by doing that she’s giving others closure. Maybe that was her destiny.” She paused for a moment before letting a light sigh escape. “Maybe it sounds harsh, but I’ve met some of the people she’s done this for. It’s nothing to be taken lightly.”
He looked at her for a moment and considered what she said before shaking his head. “I can’t justify that a man was killed so his wife could make quilts. But this isn’t the reason I came in here. What happened that day is in my mind. I could have ordered us to wait for the second Humvee, or ordered our retreat when I knew something was off, but I was determined to prove myself. Either way, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“You didn’t.”
He brought her hand to his lips, and kissed the top of her knuckles. “Seeing Kyle was a shock. The last time I tried, he was still in the hospital and had refused to even look at me. I know he was angry at the world, but it only made me beat myself up harder over what happened. To see him today…well, it was a jolt to say the least. Then to learn he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and put his life back together means everything. This woman he met must be someone special.”
“Everyone deserves a special someone.” She leaned toward him and cupped the palm of
her hand to his cheek. “I tried to tell you earlier I want to see where this goes.”
“Even after what you learned today?”
“Nothing I learned or will ever learn would change my mind. I ran away years ago because I didn’t think we could handle the distance…actually, I didn’t think I could. We were nearly inseparable, and I wasn’t even sure I knew who I was when you weren’t around. But times have changed, I’ve changed, and I want to see where things can go.” She let her hand fall away and leaned back. “I don’t expect you to step up and be a father to my baby. I just want you to know I don’t expect anything from you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want you to think that I’m only willing to do this so my child has a father. I had already decided to raise him or her myself. So, that doesn’t play into this decision.”
He wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not. He hadn’t considered her wanting a father for the child as the reason for her to agree to explore things between them. However, if he was going to go down this road with her, he was going to be fully committed. That meant they’d have a few months to determine if things would work.
“Either we’re in this completely or we’re not. That means we’re in everything. You can’t just push me aside while you try to parent the child alone. If this is going to work, then you need to trust me. You didn’t trust me or us all those years ago. Are you willing to do it this time? I want to be a part of your life, and this baby’s life. The question is…will you let me?”
The silence stretched on for longer than he’d have liked. Long enough for doubts to rise within him, but it was the only way. No matter how much he loved her, he wouldn’t be content in this relationship if he were kept out of such a big portion of her life. Depending on her answer, he might have just made himself a father. A bit of excitement blossomed within him. He wanted Maddie and this baby with him.
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I trust you and I want this to work.”
Lucky Chance Page 6
