In the years I had danced with the ballet companies in London and New York I had travelled extensively. I had made a point of grabbing some time to visit tourist attractions in each city we performed in. And consequently I had a box full of keepsakes from each of those cities. A box I hadn’t unpacked yet because some of those keepsakes Ilya and I had collected together.
He would have loved South Africa. After years of refusing to visit he had finally talked me into coming out for a holiday when we finished our last season. He died before we could have that holiday. I had waited too long.
Shaking my head to clear my brain of my sad thoughts I tuned back into DC and River’s discussion. Apparently River’s dad was going to be rebuilding a car for Beast. A car he had bought after selling his ex-wife’s car because no one at the club wanted it.
“Why would no one want to buy an almost new car he was selling for next to nothing? I would have jumped at a bargain.”
Both women laughed. DC explained. “Tori, you would have opened the car door, got in, and after one breath would have jumped right out and slammed the door to keep that stink shut inside it. I think that skank sprayed that disgusting perfume of hers on the seats because not even steam cleaning could get the stink out. The prospects hated the damn thing because they had to drive it when it had to be moved. I had it moved on Monday and they played rock, paper, scissors to decide who had to move the car.”
“Wow. It must have been horrendous.” I picked up my tea and took sip.
“You have no idea.” DC grinned.
River grinned but it sort of slipped as she looked at me. “How is your leg? I noticed that you’re hardly limping and you’re not using a cane.”
“I’m doing great.” I pointed at DC. “My torturer over there has been working me hard and the leg is recovering quicker than what the specialist thought. I spoke to him yesterday afternoon and he’s very happy with my progress. Sam and I sent him a video of me walking and doing basic exercises and after studying it he said I’m doing well. I still have to go back for the final scans and stuff but he’s optimistic about my dancing future. If I keep on working the way I am right now he thinks I would be able to dance with very little pain. I will just have to be very careful.” I swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in my throat. “I will never be a prima ballerina again, that part of my life is forever gone.”
“I’m so sorry. I watched a video of the last performance you and Ilya gave and it was the most beautiful and heartrending performance I have ever seen. It wasn’t a classical piece but something the two of you had choreographed and then performed. As I watched I could feel the love between the two of you reaching out to whoever was watching.” River said softly.
And just like that tears started running down my cheeks. River gasped and jumped up.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Tori. I didn’t want you to be sad, not today, on your first day outside.” River sank down next to my chair and held my hand as I used the other to wipe the tears away. DC silently watched but her eyes were full of sadness.
“I’m not sad, River, these are happy tears because I’m so grateful we did that piece. We weren’t supposed to perform it but Ilya, being a stubborn Russian, insisted and after a lot of shouting our director gave in because Ilya Ivanov drew people to the theatre. He put bums in seats whenever his name appeared on the bill. And you’re right; it was the last time we danced together before the accident. I’m so very grateful we had the opportunity to perform that particular piece. You were right, it was about our love for dance and for each other and it was the perfect final act for both of us. I hadn’t realised it had been recorded. I want a copy of that recording.” I frowned. “Was it released before or after his death?”
DC crouched on my other side. “Tori, right now it doesn’t matter.” I wanted to interrupt but she held up a hand and it shut me up. “It doesn’t matter because right now you need every ounce of resolve to get through your recovery. If you promise to work hard I will get Ziggy to find you a copy of the recording. I promise. Okay?”
I could only nod.
“Now, let’s talk about something more cheerful. Something that will put a smile on that sad face.”
I nodded then looked at River’s belly and changed to subject to something joyous.
“You haven’t mentioned your belly, so I will. When is your baby due? With that belly you’re growing I’m sort of thinking it might be soonish.”
Both of them burst out laughing and I frowned and lifted my hands in a silent question.
River rubbed her belly with a wide grin. “I’ll only be losing this belly in January and the reason it’s so damned big is because there’s two of them in here.”
“Holy shit.” I whispered, totally in awe. “One of the dancers in our company became pregnant and I thought she was big, but let me tell you, that was nothing compared to you. And I’m sure their daddy’s size has something to do with the size of those babies in your belly.”
“When we saw Dr Strauss on our last visit she did say they were big. And Ice’s mum told me that he had been a very big baby, like almost nine pounds big. And she had a natural birth! Thankfully I’m having a C-section and I won’t have to push these little guys out. I’m not even going to pretend to want to try to do that shit. I’m just not that brave.”
DC and I looked at each other with big eyes. And I saw the moment my friend realised what waited for her when she got pregnant with Hawk’s spawn. Absolute horror flashed over her face and I just couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. I laughed so hard I slid down in my chair and had to clamp my hands on to the armrests to keep from becoming a puddle on the deck. The laughter turned into giggles as I dragged myself back and upright.
“Oh, sweet virgin queen, DC, you’re going to have huge babies my friend.” I gasped through the giggles.
“No, I’m not. They had better be normal sized or I’m going to lose my shit and kick Hawk in the balls.” She growled.
“Nope, you won’t, you like what he does with those big balls of his too much.” River teased.
“Oh God, stop, stop. That’s way too much information about Hawk’s balls.” I giggled.
“I’m going to kill both of you if you don’t stop with this shit. I’m not having babies anytime soon.” DC growled.
“Uhm, correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you tell me that he’s close to forty? I think you’re going to have to bite the bullet and give the man some spawn before he’s middle aged my friend.” I teased.
DC’s eyes went huge and she gasped. “Oh shit, that’s what’s been going on with him. He’s been hinting at something but it made no freaking sense so I ignored it. Oh fuck, my man wants babies.” Her voice had become softer and softer as she spoke until it ended in a whisper.
I glanced at River and she shrugged. Okay, so it was advice time.
“Do you want babies, DC?” I asked softly and smiled when she nodded.
“Okay then, so what’s the problem? Go off your birth control and start going at it like bunnies.” River patted her knee as she gave her that piece of very obvious advice.
DC shook her head and dropped her head onto her knees. She mumbled something that neither one of us understood.
“You’re going to have to sit up and talk to us because mumbling at your knees is not working for us. You were there for me when I needed you and you’ve been there for Tori, now it’s our turn to help you. What’s the problem?” River patted DC on the back as she spoke.
After a beat of silence DC sat up and looked at us and her dark eyes were filled with what I could only say were demons, lots and lots of demons.
“There are two very distinct sides to my personality and most of the time I’m in control of the dark side of me. But sometimes I’m not and I do shit that would horrify both of you. What if that side of me doesn’t want the baby? What If I harm my own child?”
River gave a disgusted snort and smacked DC on the arm. “That’s bullshit and you know it. Have you
ever felt like slitting Hawk’s throat because he’s an irritating dick? Don’t answer I’ll do it for you. The answer is no, you haven’t and you never will. You love the big bastard too much.”
“Ja, but what if I get so angry I just want to destroy something? It has happened before.”
“Stop talking shit. You’ll never hurt your child or your man, DC. You’re just scared and I totally get it. But you’ll have Hawk with you all the way. That man loves you so much, and we all know he completely changed his life for you. Stop being scared and take the plunge.” She grinned. “And join me on the procreation train.”
I started giggling again and had to slap both my hands over my mouth to muffle it. DC gave me the evil eye and then she grinned.
“What do you girls think about a surprise baby?”
“You wouldn’t!” River gasped.
I was confused, what were they talking about? I didn’t stay confused for long.
“I think it’s perfect.” DC shrugged. “I go off my birth control but keep it a secret and hopefully I can give him the best Christmas present ever.”
River disagreed. “No. You need to see your gynae and get checked out first and then you do it. Don’t do it ass about face like I did.”
DC sighed. “Fine. I have my check-up coming up. I’m going to do it, bloody hell. I’m so going to do it.” She drew in a deep breath then let it out slowly and smiled.
I shook my head as I grinned. “Spring madness is in the air and very soon the Iron Dogz clubhouse is going to be filled with more kids than those badasses ever expected to see on their turf. I hope I’m still around to see that happening.”
“Of course you’ll be here.” River said immediately but I shook my head.
“No. My home is in Cape Town and as soon as my shit is sorted Dominick will be here to take me home. I want to start my dance school and settle down. And maybe one day I’ll be able to look at a man and say ‘there he is, he’s the one’.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” River said softly and took my hand in both of hers. “I know right now you’re missing Ilya like crazy. Believe me, I know. But what I also know is that it will happen for you when you least expect it. The right man will walk into your life and you’ll just know he’s the one.”
I almost told them about Beast but as I opened my mouth Ice walked out onto the deck and I closed my mouth and said nothing.
Maybe if I had they would have been more prepared. But I didn’t and they weren’t.
The best part of the visit was chatting to two women I admired and strolling through the amazing garden around the house. River showed me the hidden path to the pool and we all sighed as we dipped our fingers in the water. Perfect for an afternoon swim but it wasn’t going to happen because Kid was back and shooing us towards the house. He had to get me back before it became too busy at the clubhouse and chances that I would be seen increased.
After promising we would do this again soon DC and I were bundled back into the SUV and driven back to the clubhouse. No one saw me. I was back in my room and after feeling the freedom of sitting outside with the wind in my hair and the sun on my face my room felt even smaller than it had before.
I wanted the threats to be over. I wanted my life to be free of threats and blood and death.
I wanted so much that I couldn’t have. At least not right now.
I missed Ilya. I missed his pragmatic approach to life and its problems. He would have known how to defuse the situation I was caught up in. Well, on second thoughts, maybe not. Dealing with crime bosses wasn’t something he had any experience in.
With a sigh I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. Maybe if I slept time would magically speed up and when I woke all my problems will have been solved.
Hah.
Hawk
Hawk smiled when his old lady walked into his office but his smile became a frown when he saw the look on her face.
“What’s wrong, little bird? Didn’t you enjoy your visit with River and little red?”
She walked around this desk and sank down on his lap, laying her head against his chest and his arms tightened around her. Curving his hand around the back of her head he held her against him as she spoke quietly.
“I did enjoy the visit, it was fun. I just didn’t realise how very broken Tori still is. River is a ballet fan. And how did I not know that? Anyway, she’s a ballet fan and she started talking about having watched a video of Tori and Ilya dancing and how incredible it was. And then Tori just fell apart, she tried to hide how broken she was but I saw it. Apparently the video was taken the last time they danced together and she hadn’t ever seen it. I need to find that video and watch it with her. She’s still not over Ilya’s death. Not that I expected her to be, I just thought that by now it would have been a bit easier for her to hear his name or talk about dancing with him.”
Hawk kissed the top of her head. His little bird had a soft heart when it came to those she loved.
“Some people take a long time to accept and move on from the death of a loved one. It has been what? Two years since he died, right? Maybe she’s just not ready to let go of him. Remember, it took River meeting Ice for her to finally let go of Sparrow. Don’t misunderstand, baby, I know she will always love him but I think she realised that there’s enough space in her heart to love Ice as well. It is how some of us were made I think. Not me though. If I ever lost you there will never be anyone else for me. You’re it for me, little bird.”
His old lady stiffened in his arms then tilted her head back and smiled. It was a smile he loved because it lit up her face and dark eyes.
“You’re it for me too. If I ever lost you there would be no one else for me and I would wipe the bastards who did it and everyone connected to them from the face of the earth. So you need to stay alive, my Viking, or else there’s going to be blood flowing like rivers out there.”
Hawk shook with laughter. Fuck, he loved this blood thirsty little bird of his.
“So, besides little red falling apart on you girls, how did the rest of the visit go?”
There was a beat of silence before she answered.
“Nothing much. River explained about the babies and how big they were and Tori teased her a little. We walked around the garden and sat next to the pool just enjoying the sunshine. She was so excited to be outside I sort of felt guilty for not arranging this earlier. She’s going nuts locked in her room all the time. Do you think, once I’ve got the studio ready, that it would be safe for her to do her work outs and maybe dance in there?”
He had known since the minute his woman started talking about having a studio that this was her plan. She was worried about Tori returning to Cape Town and unfortunately he had to agree with her. Winifred Maingarde was never going to let this go. Just like she would never let her hatred of Freeze, the Road Warriors and the Iron Dogz go. She was determined to wipe them all out and she would do the same to Tori. His old lady was right, little red would be safer staying up here where they could watch over her.
“Baby, we’ll have to wait and see. Dom is working on the problem but it’s nowhere near solved. Her house is being watched and I’m sure if her family was still living in South Africa they would have been targeted to get her to come out of hiding. Thank fuck they’re living in America and are out of reach. The Maingarde organisation has a long reach but they don’t have a secure foothold in the US and they wouldn’t dare stir shit with the organisations that do. I’ve reached out to some people and her family is safe.”
DC jerked upright and twisted to look into his face. Oh shit, he should never have told her about that.
“Who did you contact? Whoever you contacted won’t do anything for free. What did they want from us?”
So fucking clever, his little bird.
“They wanted a marker from the Iron Dogz MC and I gave it to them but with certain very specific conditions. I won’t endanger my club and my brothers by doing stupid shit for some club who doesn’t give a shit about us. We’ll honou
r the marker but only if it falls inside our conditions. They agreed, so I’m thinking they need something done down here that they can’t do themselves. I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough what that is.”
DC sighed and relaxed back into his chest. “Okay, I can live with that if you can.”
Hawk smiled. “Don’t think I don’t know you’re avoiding talking to me about something your girls and you talked about, baby. I won’t push, you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”
His old lady sagged in his arms with a huge groan.
“You’re far too clever for your own good. Did you know that?” She griped. “Fine, we talked about some female shit that I just don’t want to discuss with you. At least not today.”
She swung around and straddled him in his chair and Hawk grinned. Oh yes, this he could get totally on board with. The grin disappeared when she rubbed her pussy over his rock hard cock. “Baby, if you don’t want me to fuck you right now you had better move that hot little pussy off my cock.”
“Why would I do a stupid thing like that? This hot little pussy of mine loves your hard cock, hell she even loves him when he’s all soft and relaxed. Don’t tell her I told you, she’ll be angry with me.” She whispered with a little grin.
Hawk shoved his chair back and lifted her until she stood with her feet on either side of his thighs. She knew what was coming next and was already undoing the buttons on her jeans and shoving them down while he untied her boots. It didn’t take them long to have her out of her boots and jeans and his jeans unbuttoned and pulled down around his thighs. Before he pulled her down on his cock where he desperately wanted her he leant forward and licked along her slit, drew her clit into his mouth and sucked. His little bird moaned and shoved her pussy into his face and Hawk grinned. He fucking loved how responsive she was. Giving her one final lick he sat back and looked up at her.
He drew her down very, very slowly, gazing into her eyes as she reached down and angled his cock to her so very wet and slick entrance. They both groaned as she sank down on his rigid cock.
Black Heart And Red Redemption (Iron Dogz MC) Page 13
