Only she hadn’t. Frate had given her the magic she was born to possess and left her. Just up and left her. She’d been wandering for months on her own when she’d come across this park and the protection it offered. Gerik had shown up a few months later and so ensued their fucking love affair.
Love affair.
Not meaningless random sex with some fete he couldn’t give two shits about.
The way Xan saw it was, yeah, she had every right to be pissed off, but he had every right to beat the ever-loving shit out of her. He was her husband, which by Romani law meant he could punish her for her infidelity however he saw fit. Not that he’d ever beat on Trinity, but it sure as shit sounded good when she was in an especially bad mood and trying to set him on fire.
“Heads up,” Pesha whispered, nodding at Trinity’s cabin.
He turned just in time to see her kick the door closed behind her. Wearing only a ribbed black tank and a pair of black underwear, palming a longneck bottle of liquor, Trinity headed straight for them. As she passed by him, she swiped his cigarettes out of his hand. Her thick black hair had grown past her waist, the tips now brushing the tops of her thighs. She was leaner, her body beautifully toned and defined, oozing strength. Not one iota of the little girl he’d married remained. Fată was all woman now. Just not his woman anymore.
“Gimme,” she said, gesturing to the blunt between Adriana’s lips. Like a pro, she took three short puffs, held her breath, released, and then took another three before passing it back. Up went the bottle, and fată chugged that shit a good, long minute.
Then she sat on a patch of grass right next to Pesha, and frate lit up a smoke for her.
“Thanks,” she said, grinning around an exhale of smoke.
Pesha winked at her. “Anytime, fată.”
“Or anywhere,” she purred. “Right, Moldoveanu?”
Damn her and her fucking split personality. Black-hearted bitch one second, and the next, sultry, slutty sex kitten. He didn’t like either of them.
“You know it, gorgeous,” Pesha drawled back, flirting shamelessly with her.
Because of Trinity’s affinities for all five elements—earth, air, water, fire, and spirit—she had the ability to manipulate…well, damn near anything she wanted to. Right now, she was using fire, a power that could heal or harm. Fire was also an internal element and made up of pure feminine or masculine energy that, depending on the gender of the user, could create lust in the opposite sex if used correctly.
“Mmm-hmm,” she murmured, scooting closer to him and locking arms. Her head fell drunkenly on Pesha’s arm, and she smiled silkily.
The scent of dark magic grew stronger, smelling of sweet sulfur. Trinity was packing some powerful heat tonight.
“Pesha,” she murmured, looking up at him with a sweet, sexy smile.
Pesha’s eyes glazed over. “Yeah, fată?”
“You wanna come home with me tonight?”
Xan squeezed his eyes closed, asking God to make sure that when he choked her, he didn’t accidently kill her. Maiming was okay but not killing.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Pesha’s tongue down his wife’s throat, and everyone else was watching and waiting for what he was going to do.
“You want me to handle it this time?” Simionce asked.
This time. Because there had been many times over the past few months that she’d used Pesha to make him crazy jealous. He’d reached his boiling point.
“No,” he growled, getting to his feet. “She’s my wife, which means she’s my fucking problem.”
Xan walked around the fire pit and knelt down beside the two lovebirds. Trinity slanted her black eyes toward him—they were always black now—and deepened the kiss.
“Keep this shit up, Trinity, and I’m gonna tie you to your bed.”
Her tongue still tangled with Pesha’s, she giggled.
Giggled.
At him.
That was it. He was done.
Grabbing her around her waist, he yanked her off a stunned Pesha and held her tight against him.
“What the hell, Trinity?” Pesha shouted, having come to his senses. “Why are you always trying to get me killed? Can’t you pick on Simionce for a change?”
“Hey!” Onyx yelled.
Xan pinned Pesha with an angry glare. “That shit she pulls on you wouldn’t work if you weren’t already sporting a hard-on for her, frate.”
Embarrassed, Pesha turned away. “Who wouldn’t?” he muttered. “Fucking look at her.”
“Yeah, Xan. Fucking look at me,” she sneered, glaring up at him. “Look. At. Me. And yet you still couldn’t keep it in your pants.”
“WHAT ABOUT YOU?” he roared. “How many times did you spread your thighs for that fucking freak?”
“Baby,” she purred. “I spread my thighs for him so many times that I lost count.”
He grabbed her biceps and shook her hard. “Don’t bother trying to make me jealous,” he growled through clenched teeth. “BECAUSE I ALREADY AM!”
“Then maybe I need to amp it up a bit!”
His nostrils flared. “You’re wasted,” he hissed. “Time for bed.”
Xan muscled her backward with her kicking and screaming across the park and into her cabin. He kicked the door shut behind him.
Shoving her down on her futon, he knelt in front of her. “Stop it,” he growled. “I’m officially hurting, Trinity! That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? For me to suffer? It worked, fată! I’m fucking suffering! You don’t need to keep throwing it in my face!”
“No!” she screamed. “You are not hurting nearly enough!”
“Fucking my friends won’t make you feel better!” he roared.
She went still. “Oh, but it will.” She was purring again.
Gone was the sadistic bitch, and here came the sleaze from hell.
“Because I already did fuck one of your friends. At least, he was your friend once upon a time. And, baby, let me tell you, it felt fucking awesome.” Her voice dropped to a seductive whisper. “Want to know just how much I liked it? Where. I. Liked. It?” She punctuated her last four words with venom.
Xan’s chest was growing unbearably tight, and tears were burning behind his eyes. She was fucking killing him. He’d never hurt so badly in all his life. He’d thought losing her had been hard, but he was wrong. Finding her, only to find out she hated him and would never forgive him, was a fuck of a lot harder.
“Shut up,” he choked out.
Laughing, she leaned forward and pressed her tits up against his chest. “You liked it when you were the only man I’d ever been with, didn’t you?” she whispered. “You loved that I was all yours, only ever yours. So, how does it feel now, knowing that I gave someone else what was yours?”
“Shut the fuck up!” he roared, shaking her. “Just shut the FUCK UP AND STOP ACTING LIKE THIS!”
“Fuck you!” She lunged forward, catching him off guard.
Xan toppled backward, her on top of him, and she skull-slammed him. Him. Trinity. She skull-slammed him.
Through blurry eyes, he saw her standing over him, her eyes flashing with pure power, looking like a madwoman. Spirit wisps had risen from the ground below the cabin and through the wood-planked floor. They were writhing around her, black and translucent, skeletal-like arms and hands with spindly fingers slithering over her skin, wrapping around her…almost lovingly.
For a moment, he thought she was going to kill him. Too late, he saw her foot shoot out and her heel connected with his manhood and sent it straight up into his stomach. As agonizing pain tore through his abdomen and lower body, a garbled scream lodged in his throat. He went fetal, cupping himself as if it would help, as he tried hard not to vomit.
Through now burning and watery eyes, Xan blinked up at her and found her staring down at him, looking a little horrified. Fucking hell. That only pissed him off more. She could at least have the decency to own what she’d just done. And what she’d done was emasculate and embarrass him
while rendering him useless for future procreation.
“You asshole!” she cried. “Look what you made me do!”
“Are you fucking serious?” he choked out.
As she spun away from him, headed for the door, his arm shot out. Grabbing hold of her ankle, he yanked. She lost her footing, teetered backward, and ended up falling on top of him, her back to his front. Wrapping his legs around his knees and his arms around her middle, he grabbed hold of her wrists and slapped her palms together.
“What the fuck?” she screamed, trying to jerk herself free of him. “Let me go!”
She might have all the magic in the world, but he was still a fuck of a lot stronger than her.
Leaning up, Xan whispered in her ear. “If you make one more fuckin’ move, I will knock you the fuck out.”
She went still, and he grunted. “That’s better, fată. We need to talk.”
“So fucking talk,” she spat.
“I wasn’t gonna lie to you, fată. I didn’t plan on you finding out about the women through a fucking kiss, but I planned on telling you everything. I thought you’d left me for him, so yeah, I fucked Nadya. And Fi. And Onyx. It’s done. I can’t take it back.”
“You are a disgusting whore!”
“What about you?”
“What about me? I was alone for months! Alone while you were busy cheating on me!”
“Listen to me, Trinity,” he growled. “You are my wife. I’m not gonna let you forget that. And we are gonna work this shit out.”
“I don’t want to be your wife anymore,” she hissed.
“Why? So, you can feel better about fucking Gerik?”
“No!” She twisted her body, and he gripped her tighter. “I wish I’d never started up with you! I wish I’d listened to everyone when they told me I belonged with Gerik!”
He closed his eyes and tried to breathe through the pain of that statement, reminding himself that she didn’t mean it. She was trying to hurt him because she was hurting.
“I know you, Trin,” he said quietly. “And I know you don’t fucking mean that.”
“Fuck you,” she hissed. “You don’t know shit about me!”
Frustrated, more than done with this shit, he released her. Shoving her off him, he got to his feet. “When you’re ready to talk, fată, you come find me.”
He started for the door. “It’s not going to happen!” she screamed as he pulled it open.
Xan shut the door softly behind him. His hands were shaking, and his heart was pounding.
His tată had left. His own father hadn’t wanted him. His mamă was a cold, distant bitch who’d loved him, yeah, but she’d had some funny ideas as to how to show it, and now she was dead and gone. He’d forever been a jackass in a clan full of thoroughbreds, magic users who could have ended him with a wave of their fucking hand. But he’d worked hard to make sure he could protect himself from any kind of threat—be it Gaje or Romani or magic.
Fast forward to the end of the fucking world, he’d met the only person who could have ever made him second-guess his lifestyle, his choices, as well as who and what he’d been.
And he’d betrayed her.
And by doing so, he’d lost her forever.
“Xan!”
“Xan!”
Turning, he found Pesha and Simionce running full speed toward him. Immediately, he reached for his guns, looking past them, seeking a threat.
“Marko!” Pesha said breathlessly as he skidded to a stop in front of him. “Is here!”
Frate pointed toward the fire pit and sure enough, Marko-fucking-Siwak was here.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” he spat, gripping his handgun tighter.
Pushing both Pesha and Simionce out of his way, Xan stalked forward, aiming at Marko.
Noticing him for the first time and seeing the gun in his grip, Marko quickly shoved the blonde Gaje behind him in a protective maneuver.
“Xan!” Mira yelled, hoisting Michaela up over her shoulder. “No killing in front of the baby!”
“Why would you think you could come here?” Xan yelled, ignoring Mira. “What inside that fucked-up brain of yours, frate, would make you think that coming here was a good idea?”
“Xan!” Fifi yelled, stepping in front of Marko. “Let him explain!”
Explain?
Explain why he’d left Trinity in the middle of a world where the only thing certain was death?
Explain why he’d single-handedly destroyed his marriage to Trinity in a fit of jealous rage? Fuck that! Marko couldn’t explain that!
“You have three fucking seconds, frate,” Xan growled, “to get the hell out of my camp before I blow your damn head off.”
“I had to come,” Marko said. “I had to find Trinity, to make sure she was okay, to bring her home to you.”
“Bullshit!” Xan spat.
Marko shook his head. “I swear it, frate.”
“Yeah? If that’s true, then now you know she’s fine, and I’m already with her, so you can turn your ass around.”
“She’s not fine,” Marko said. “Is she acting weird, Xan? Is she acting like Trinity? Or is something wrong?”
“Is something wrong?” Xan yelled, his patience gone. “Yeah, something is wrong! She spent months trying to survive on her own, only to get tossed aside by you!”
“Something else,” Marko persisted. “Like Gerik turning into a dragon and losing his soul because of it?”
Xan stared at him. “What?”
“Gerik is gone,” Marko said. “He’s a dragon, frate. A dragon, not an animal. He’s a soulless beast, according to the legends. Gerik lost his soul the moment his transformation was complete, meaning Trinity lost hers, too.”
Xan’s stomach lurched, and panic reared up inside him. “What?” he whispered. “No, you can’t survive without a soul, everyone knows that. If she didn’t have a soul, she would be dead and she’s not dead.”
No, she wasn’t dead, but she wasn’t Trinity anymore either. Remnants of her still remained, glimpses that were becoming few and far between. So, no, she wasn’t dead.
But she was…dying?
No. Oh, hell no.
“No,” Xan repeated, shaking his head wildly. “No fucking way is she dying, because I’m not losing her again.”
She didn’t need that damn soul, a soul that had always belonged to Gerik. She still had her heart, it was still beating, and that heart belonged to him. And, fuck it, he could not lose her again.
“Xan…” Fifi reached for him, but he quickly sidestepped her.
“No!” he yelled. “I’m not losing her again!”
“I know!” she yelled back. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll get her soul back…or something. I don’t know, Xan, just please, you need to calm down!”
“You can’t get a soul back,” Onyx said matter-of-factly. “Once a soul returns to nature, there is no getting it back. It’s gone.”
Fifi glared at her, and Onyx shrugged. “He needs to hear the truth, only…” Onyx trailed off and pursed her lips together. “It doesn’t make sense. Trinity should have died the moment her soul was taken back. At least, according to what we’ve been taught…that’s what should have happened.”
Xan’s heart began to pound. “So, what does that mean?” he demanded. “Does she still have her soul or what?”
“No, she doesn’t.”
Xan looked to the owner of the voice and found a tiny blonde Gaje peeking out from behind Marko.
“Who the fuck are you?” he demanded and Marko went stiff.
So, Marko had gone and found himself a fată who, by the looks of it, he cared about quite a bit.
“I’m Carrie,” the girl said, stepping out from behind Marko.
Xan nearly dismissed her, but then he didn’t. There was something…something familiar. He could sense…something. He stared at her, and she stared back at him, and he kept staring, searching for something to confirm what he was feeling.
That was when he saw it.
A flicker in her eyes, and then it wasn’t Carrie’s eyes he was looking into anymore. It was Trinity’s eyes—big, green, and beautiful—looking back at him.
He didn’t even realize he was falling until his knees hit the ground.
“How?” he whispered.
Carrie bent down in front of him. “Trinity’s soul,” she whispered. “It’s inside me.”
In the background, he could hear Marko trying to explain to the rest what had happened. He heard the shocked gasps of the others, heard them toss ideas back and forth, trying to rationalize what could have happened.
“I still don’t get it,” Marko said. “The oldest soul…it goes to the most powerful, doesn’t it? Why me? Why Carrie? She’s not even Romani.”
“Did you pay attention to anything when we were kids?” Onyx asked, sounding exasperated. “It isn’t just about power. The oldest soul goes to the most powerful…and the purest of heart.”
Xan didn’t care why Marko and Carrie had gotten the soul, he was just glad they did. Reaching for Carrie, he placed both hands on either side of her face and gently brought her closer to him.
“Does she still love me?” he asked, running the pads of his thumbs under a pair of very familiar, very beautiful green eyes.
A tear slid down Carrie’s cheek. “She does.”
Xan fought back his rising emotions and nodded. “What do I gotta do, fată?” he asked, his voice hoarse. “Just tell me what I gotta do to get her back.”
Instead of Carrie, it was Marko who answered.
“I’d say we have a dragon to find.”
Glossary
This interactive glossary will return you to the first instance of the word or phrase defined when you click on the underlined term.
baró. Romanian for “big man”; used to refer to a leader or king.
bună. Good.
clan. Group of families or a group of households.
copii. Babies or children.
copil. Baby.
Da. Yes.
dark magic. Unnatural magic, essentially trapped death.
Două vă rog. Two, please.
Dupa moartea. Until death.
fată. Girl.
fată mea. My girl.
The Lost Souls (The Holy Trinity) Page 14
